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Chapter 59

🕑 Added 2024-06-15 18:18:58 +0000 UTC

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Edit suggestion: but everyone fought for entry rights -> and everyone fought for entry rights ('but' would be if it was an exception to the lack of rifts, that ppl were fighting *despite* there not being enough rifts, where 'and' supports and expands on the statement that there aren't enough rifts)

TheNorns

Thanks for the chapter! Really enjoying it so far. I will say, the POV shift to Edgar doesn't seem to add a whole lot? We get details about later year things, sure, but that's (presumably) far enough away that it might have to get re-explained later anyway. I'm not opposed to POV's other than our MC, just seems an odd place to do it when we don't know Edgar and his friends very well yet. Might make more sense to have that sort of POV shift later in the book when we're more invested in them?

gray matter

Needs a POV separation when it goes back to Julius. It’s obvious but if you’re gonna have them then I think it’s just nice for the reader to have the separation denoted each time

lenkite

"He didn’t have to waste, he would need to get stronger." ??

Ryan

Thanks! I don't know why but Patreon doesn't show horizontal lines. So the POV changes look like just a bunch of empty spaces.

World_Wolf

The POV shift to Julius could be a little clearer, but other than that thank you for the chapter!


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