UnknownMaster
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[2 and a half men] Ch: 67 [The 'B' word]
🕑 Added 2025-10-27 00:08:37 +0000 UTCAN: Big chapter. No cliffhanger this time.
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Lisa sighed and shook her head. “No, that’s not it. Charlie’s been great. He barely drinks anymore, maybe a glass of wine or a shot at an event. That’s it."
Rose raised an eyebrow. “Then what’s got you pacing like a reality show contestant about to get eliminated?”
Lisa kicked at the sand and gave a half-laugh. “Things have been going so well lately. It’s like we finally have stability. And I don’t know, I’m not getting any younger. I keep thinking about our future. About… maybe... You know... having a baby.”
Rose’s eyes widened with mock drama. “Ah, the ‘B’ word. Dangerous territory.”
Lisa rolled her eyes. “You make it sound like I said ‘tax audit.’”
Rose giggled and motioned toward a shady spot under a nearby tree. “Come on, sit before you overheat and decide to join a convent.”
They sat down, the ocean breeze flicking Rose’s hair while Lisa toyed with her sunglasses.
Rose took a sip of her smoothie. “So, you’re thinking about having a baby and don’t know how to talk to Charlie about it?”
Lisa nodded. “Yeah. I mean, he’s got his hands full already. Between Jake, Lily, and music, plus us... Well, I don’t want him to feel pressured. But at the same time, I can’t ignore it. I’ve reached that point where I have to think about it seriously.”
Rose tilted her head, pretending to think. “You want my advice?”
Lisa nodded. “Yeah. What would you have done if you were in my place?”
Rose’s eyes sparkled as she giggled. “Oh boy, don’t tempt me. But fine. If it were me, I’d just have risky sex with him and then drop the good news.”
Lisa choked on a laugh. “What? That’s your plan? Just… surprise pregnancy?”
Rose shrugged. “It worked for half the women in Malibu. Besides, Charlie’s the kind of guy who panics first and melts later. Once he’s holding a baby, he’d be toast. All gooey and soft, writing lullabies between diaper changes.”
Lisa shook her head, smiling. “You’re unbelievable.”
Rose leaned closer. “Hey, you asked. But honestly, Charlie’s changed. He’s not the guy who’d freak out anymore. You’ve seen how he is with Lily. He’s practically a poster dad now. If you tell him what you want, I think he’ll actually listen.”
Lisa smiled faintly. “You think so?”
Rose grinned. “Absolutely. But if you still want my plan, I can lend you a spiked candle, some mood music, and a bottle of fertility tea I got from a monk in Thailand.”
Lisa laughed so hard she nearly fell over. “You’re insane.”
Rose nodded proudly. “I know. But that’s why it works. Seriously though, Lisa, Charlie’s already building a family without even realizing it. He’s got you, Kate, Laura, and Lily. A baby wouldn’t scare him. It’d just make him brag about being Malibu’s coolest dad.”
Lisa looked out at the waves, thoughtful. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I should just talk to him. No overthinking. Just… talk.”
Rose smiled. “There you go. And if that fails, call me. I’ll handle the risky part.”
They sat there for a while, watching the waves roll in and out like lazy drunks trying to find their way home. Seagulls screamed overhead, one dive-bombing a French fry near Rose’s foot.
Lisa leaned back on her hands and glanced at her. “So, can I ask you something personal?”
Rose smiled. “You can ask, but I might answer with a riddle.”
Lisa smirked. “Why’d you stop chasing Charlie? I mean, you used to break in all the times and show up in his bathtub, bedroom... in his car. Now you just... jog and drink smoothies like a regular person.”
Rose chuckled softly, twirling her straw in her smoothie. “Yeah, I was a little… intense back then.”
“A little?” Lisa raised an eyebrow.
Rose giggled. “Fine, moderately psychotic. But you know what changed? I made a promise to him once.”
Lisa tilted her head. “A promise?”
Rose nodded, her tone softening. “Yeah. I saw how he changed. He stopped drinking, having one-night stands, and started to focus on his career and life like a responsible adult. And back then, he just started seeing you. So, I promised him not to get in the way. I just wanted what's best for him and see him happy and healthy,” She looked out at the water. “And I did. Well, I tried. Broke it a few times, thought about breaking it a hundred more, but I couldn’t. Because it wasn’t just a promise—it was a promise to the man I love.”
Lisa blinked, caught off guard by how sincere she sounded. “Wow. That’s… actually really sweet.”
Rose shrugged. “I know, right? I shock myself sometimes. Beneath all the glitter and mild insanity, I’m a hopeless romantic.”
Lisa smiled. “You ever think about... you know, trying again? Things are different now. He’s different. And, uh, our setup isn’t exactly traditional.”
Rose turned to her, amused. “You mean the Malibu Musical Harem?”
Lisa laughed. “Exactly. Me, Kate, Laura, sometimes Prudence—don’t ask how that one even started. We’re a family, in our own weird way. So if you ever wanted in... I honestly don’t think anyone would mind. I mean, we all see it.”
Rose blinked. “See what?”
Lisa grinned. “How he looks at you every time you come by. Like he’s trying not to remember something... or trying too hard to forget it.”
Rose went quiet for a moment, her eyes drifting toward the horizon. “He still looks, huh?”
Lisa nodded. “Every single time. Pretends he’s not. He’ll be mid-conversation, then you walk in and—boom—his brain does a reboot.”
Rose laughed softly. “Yeah, I’ve noticed the stuttering. It’s cute.”
Lisa nudged her shoulder. “So, what’s stopping you?”
Rose smiled wistfully. “Maybe I’m just waiting for him to ask. For once, I want Charlie Harper to chase me.”
Lisa laughed. “Good luck with that. The man avoids emotional confrontation like it’s cardio.”
Rose giggled. “Then maybe I’ll make him jog for it.”
Lisa shook her head, smiling. “You really do love him, huh?”
Rose looked down at her half-empty cup. “Yeah. Always have. Even when he was a disaster. Even when he wasn’t mine.”
For a second, the beach went quiet except for the sound of waves and seagulls arguing over fries. Then Lisa stood, brushing sand off her jeans. “Well, who knows, Rose? Maybe it’s not too late. This family’s weird enough for one more heart.”
Rose smiled up at her. “You think he’d really want me around?”
Lisa grinned. “Please. You already live in his head rent-free. Might as well make it official. If you promise not to superglue his balls to his thighs.”
"Yeah, that was a one-time thing. We had sex, and he mumbled some prostitute's name while hugging me. So, I was angry as hell. Like I fell for him at first sight and he didn't even remember my name even after we did some hardcore freaky stuff," Rose laughed, standing too. “Ah! I shouldn't have said the last part."
"No, it's alright. I wasn't in the picture back then, so it's okay," Lisa said.
"So..." Rose fiddled with her fingers. "You sure it's alright if I... you know... drop by sometimes and maybe flirt with him a little? I don't want to be that girl who just dropped into someone's harem."
"Yeah, it's alright. I'll talk to the girls and give you a call?"
"That'd be great, Lisa," Rose said with a quick nod.
They exchanged their numbers before Rose left and Lisa took another round around the beach before going back home.
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[That night after dinner]
Jake was upstairs, pretending to do homework but really watching videos with his headphones on. Lily was already asleep, hugging her teddy bear.
In the living room, Charlie, Lisa, Kate, and Laura lounged around the coffee table. They were sipping wine, joking, and Laura had already kicked off her shoes and put her feet in Charlie’s lap. And he was giving her a slow foot massage.
Charlie took a sip of his wine. “So, remind me again why we made lasagna for ten people when there are only six of us?”
Laura shrugged. “Because you said, and I quote, ‘If I’m cooking, I’m cooking for an army.’”
Kate smirked. “You cooked?” She didn't know because she was out for a photoshoot.
“Fine,” Charlie admitted. “I supervised. Lisa cooked. I just... taste-tested aggressively.”
Lisa laughed. “You ate half the cheese before it went in the oven.”
“That’s called quality control,” Charlie said. “Michelin-star chefs do it all the time.”
They laughed. Then, after a quiet pause, Lisa put her glass down and sat a little straighter.
“Okay,” she said. “I have something I want to talk about.”
The other three turned to her.
“Oh boy,” Kate said. “That’s how every scary sentence starts.”
Lisa rolled her eyes. “Relax. It’s not scary. Just... something I’ve been thinking about.”
Charlie raised an eyebrow. “That’s even scarier.”
Lisa took a deep breath. “I was thinking maybe we should… have a baby.”
The room went silent. The girls' eyes were glued to Charlie's face.
Charlie just sat there, staring at Lisa, the corners of his mouth twitching like he was trying to decide whether to smile or fake a stroke.
Lisa frowned. “What’s that face? You’re doing the face.”
“What face?” Charlie asked.
“The face you make when you’re about to stall until someone changes the subject,” Kate said.
“Yeah,” Laura added. “The same face you made when we talked about adopting that dog.”
“Hey, that dog bit my guitar,” Charlie said defensively.
Lisa crossed her arms. “So? Come on, talk. Say something.”
Charlie looked around at them, then finally put his glass down. “Actually... believe it or not... I was trying to bring this up tonight.”
All three women froze.
Lisa blinked. “Wait. What?”
Charlie nodded. “Yeah. I was gonna say it right after dessert, but then Laura started talking about tattoos on private parts and I lost the mood.”
Laura grinned. “Sorry, I derail conversations. Occupational hazard.”
Kate leaned forward. “Hold on. You were gonna bring up having a baby?”
Charlie nodded again, still looking a little stunned at himself. “Yeah. I mean, Lily called me Dad the other day. For the first time. And it just... hit me. I don’t totally suck at this family thing. So maybe... I don’t know, maybe I could do it again. On purpose this time.”
Lisa’s eyes softened. “You were really thinking that?”
Charlie smiled faintly. “Yeah. Scares the hell out of me, but yeah.”
Laura whistled. “Wow. Look at Mr. Harper over here. From hangovers to Huggies.”
Kate grinned. “I’m proud of you, Charlie. From what I heard, you used to run from commitment like it was a rabid raccoon.”
Charlie smirked. “Still would, if it was a raccoon. Those things have hands.”
Lisa laughed, then reached out and took his hand. “So... you really want this?”
Charlie nodded. “Yeah. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m still terrified of the part where they scream all night and poop like little volcanoes, but… yeah. I want this.”
Laura clapped her hands. “Well, damn. I didn’t see this coming.”
Kate smiled. “Neither did he.”
Charlie pointed at her. “Exactly. Which makes this a first for me, wanting something before it hits me like a truck.”
Suddenly, Lisa quickly leaned in and kissed him. It was a little passionate kiss with only lips involved. "I love you, Charlie."
Charlie kissed her once again before saying, "I love you too, Lisa."
Comments
UnknownMaster
👍 Done. For another girl.
Ziff
I still hoped for surprise pregnancy
Calvin Ellis
❤️ Thanks for this moment❤️
