DrBubblebum
patreon
Force of Nature P128
🕑 Added 2024-11-04 11:58:16 +0000 UTCI'm back.
The free weekend felt really good, but it feels great to be drawing the comic again.
About the sketch of page 129:
Also, I’m really doing Fryx a disservice by cutting the page off there, but please stand by, guys. I swear he’s being nice… as nice as he can be.
My sticker manufacturer was a bit slower than usual last month (probably a lot of orders in October because of Halloween, I’m guessing), so I only got them last Saturday. I’ll make an official post, of course, but just for anyone wondering—they’re going out today.
_Long text not to important_
Something else about the next page as well. I’m not sure if everyone feels like this sometimes, but I often feel like my parents’ relationship was “a wrong thing.” They didn’t really like each other for a long time, and looking back, it seems my father may have had ulterior motives for marrying my mother other than love. He’s an immigrant, and marrying her was, I guess, the easiest way to immigrate.
I know my father, but I cut ties even before I started second grade because I wasn’t comfortable around him. They were already divorced by the time I started school. I don’t have any love or longing for him. I do long for a good father, yes, but not him specifically. So I feel like I was destined to be a “broken” child. Neither my mother nor my father should have had a child, I feel. But I’m still here, so sometimes I feel like I’m the bad outcome of a situation I couldn’t control.
I wanted to reflect something similar with Nix. I didn’t want to go the cliché route of her feeling like she killed her mother by being born. She knows she couldn’t have done anything about that, but she still feels like she should have never existed—and that the world would be so much better without her.
I’m sorry if I’m being way too vulnerable here, feel free to ignore my rambling, it’s all good. And please don’t feel sorry for me or anything like that. I’m not over it, but I’m very good at living with it. It’s who I am, and I’m not my parents—I’m someone entirely new, with no obligation to do right or wrong things, yet I’ve still found a path. A path on which I will always try to do good. I will always try to bring joy and warmth, and I guess entertain. Because I’m aware we all have problems and trauma, and I so wish to maybe ease the load for the people I love, even just a bit, when I make them laugh or listen to them.
Okay, I went a bit far there… but maybe it will still help someone reading it. I love you guys. I really, really do. You help me find worth in my own life, in being alive.
Comments
RedFlames
P 129 sketch typos: "no controle", "beeing" twice. As usual, hoping those will be fixed in the final page, otherwise following this lovely comic is becoming increasingly difficult to a jerk like me. >~>
anonnymousspacething
I couldn't digest your description in entirety, but I understand the pain from the past ... I'm still working on mine. I was in a custody battle for basically my entire youth until I was 11, my dad attempted to .. y'know.. it was pretty dramatic. There's things I just don't want to remember, things I was made to say that I wish I remembered so I could apologize.. I've been blamed my entire childhood for things I never did or ever would.. I was constantly tormented by my eldest cousin constantly being chased threatened to be beaten up if he caught up to me. I learned to hide, I learned to think on my feet. Nowadays I'm just full of anxiety, depression, probably ADHD, I'm old enough to be an adult but I'm either so far behind or sometimes I feel ill never get to live beyond surviving. I feel I'm someone who prefers being goofy and fun over adult life ... I have yet to find the balance but I'm sure I will some day. I don't say the above for empathy, I hate talking about it honestly for that feeling, I wanted to express to you that no matter what is going on inside your head or outside ... You are the strongest person in your own story. Be proud of that. Keep going, keep doing what you love, keep doing what you think is right. Sorry if this was out of place, it just felt it would help to try and be relatable enough to express that you aren't alone ✊♥️ You are not alone.
anonnymousspacething
I second this
Deino
I’m glad you’re much better now. It really does suck to know that you went through that but I’m glad you’re here, here to bring wonderful art to the world and brighten other people’s lives. Truly wonderful stuff man ❤️ I hope any of this made sense and that it didn’t come off the wrong way. I truly love your art and I’m glad you’re here to make it!
Silverarma
Another beautiful page <3 And thank you for sharing those things! We can't choose anything regarding our birth. They only thing we can do is make the best out of it and tell our stories to hopefully show others that there are ways to overcome misfortune <3 I wish you all the best and kudos to you for staying strong and moving forward <3
Fox Mitchell
❤️
flux
My parents' marriage was based on mutual hatred, so I get where you are coming from. If you feel like a mistake, chances are they made you feel that way. Not having loving and supportive parents truly is devastating.
Bubble
Ah thank you! But don't worry. I'm feeling good, just wanted to share some of my inner feelings. I hope you are doing well.
Sans Souci
Also: always happy to find an update of yours on Patreon, i just love your style. But take care of yourself first!
Sans Souci
I know what you mean with being a "bad outcome" because my parents wasn't really well paired themselves. But you're not just someone's child, you're your own person, despite the errors that your parents may have done. It took me many years to understand this, hope you'll feel better someday.
