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Everyone's a Catgirl! Ch. 223: Fighting at Anchor
🕑 Added 2023-06-06 05:49:58 +0000 UTCCannoli clutched the stuffed pink rabbit Matt had gifted her what felt like an eternity ago to her chest. Before they’d left San Island, Ravyn had taken the puffy red ribbon from the dress of her last [Combat Mode] equipment and tied it around the rabbit’s neck.
For good luck, Ravyn had said when Cannoli tried to protest. Don’t stay away forever, alright?
Stroking the long, plush ears, Cannoli breathed long and slow through her nostrils. She was alone in her modest cabin, perched on the edge of the bed with her feet tucked underneath her. Buttons clung to her shoulder, touching his cheek to hers.
A loud thump sounded from the ceiling, and Cannoli flinched. She’d been the first to descend the stairs and find a cabin when Cailu had announced they were approaching a Defiled. A tiny part of her had hoped Matt and Keke would come to find her and wait out the attack alongside her. But Keke had been really distant lately. Ever since Cannoli had announced her plans to dedicate herself fully to Saoirse, her best friend had started putting space between them.
It was little things at first. Not sitting next to her at meals or sharing whispers like they always had. It was a slow, gradual build that peaked when Matt disappeared from the castle in Rājadhānī. Cannoli couldn’t find Keke at all while he was gone. As if Keke had made a point to avoid her. Ravyn remained as Cannoli’s closest confidant, and she spent more time with Ceres and Tristan. Lara and Destiny were sweet, but they were often together working on their own things. Cannoli hadn’t wanted to interrupt.
Slam!
Cannoli squeaked as the boat rocked back and forth. She squeezed her bunny close and steadied her balance with her tail.
“How did this happen, Buttons?” Cannoli whimpered. “Why am I all alone?”
Buttons carefully scaled her shoulder, creeping down her arm until he reached her lap. He gazed up at her, face wrought with worry. She’d learned his expressions and changes in how he moved through all the time they’d spent together.
“I wish you could talk.” She sniffed, stroking the top of the blazard’s scaley head and neck. “Instead, you’re stuck listening to all of my problems.”
He pressed his head against her fingertips, then sidestepped to the left. Puffing up his chest, he opened his mouth wide and exhaled. A smoke ring fluttered from between his jaws and expanded into the shape of a heart.
“When did you learn to do that?” Cannoli’s eyes went wide. She touched the point of the heart with one finger. “You’re amazing, Buttons.”
The boat stilled. There was a shriek from on deck, and Cannoli’s ears flattened against her head. A cheer sounded shortly after, muffled by the wood between her and the upper deck.
“Sounds like it’s over,” Cannoli murmured, glancing up at the ceiling.
A knock at the door provoked another squeak as Cannoli bounced back to the pillow. Her heart raced, and she buried her face against the bunny’s head. Stop being so jumpy! “C-come in!”
“Cannoli?” Keke’s voice carried around the doorframe as she inched it inside. “Can I come in?”
Cannoli blinked, surprised by Keke’s sudden visit. “Yes.”
Keke slid inside and closed the door. Matt wasn’t with her. “Are you alright?”
There was this sharp, uncomfortable sensation at the back of her thoughts ever since they’d started traveling on Ichi Island. As if a knife was chipping away at her patience and gradually carving through her empathy. It worsened each time Kirti taunted her. Then hit its worst point when the [Witch Doctor] used someone else’s soul to save Ceres. Despite Matt’s reassurances, the feeling was impossible to block out, and Cannoli found herself thinking and saying things that she never would have before.
Cannoli tucked her knees to her chest. “I didn’t know you cared.”
“Why wouldn’t I care?” Keke’s lips pursed, and she took a step forward.
“Because you’ve been avoiding me,” Cannoli replied. The words tasted angry and harsh. Her chest twisted with emotions she knew she shouldn’t feel. Reactions she shouldn’t have. “It’s fine. I get it. You’d rather be with Matt than with me.”
Keke reeled as if she’d been slapped. She opened her mouth, made a strained noise, then closed it again.
“You don’t have to pretend, Keke. You can go back to him,” Cannoli said. It was like a stream that had been stopped up for months was beginning to flow free. These were idle thoughts she’d had while Matt was away from the castle and on days when Ravyn had been there while Keke was nowhere to be found, dancing on the edge of the incessant blade. “I’m not your problem anymore.”
“You’ve never been my problem.” Keke approached the bed, golden eyes fixed on Cannoli’s face. She was furious. “You’re my best friend. We’re practically sisters.”
“Then why have you been ignoring me?” Cannoli shifted to her knees, setting the rabbit and Buttons down on her pillow. “Why is this the first time in weeks that you’re talking to me?”
Keke’s expression softened as she sat down on the edge of the bed. “Because you isolate yourself, Cannoli. You locked yourself in your room when we went to Abalone. Bottled up all your feelings through Ichi. Tore Matt to shreds for saving Ceres. Then,” she took a deep breath, steadying her words, “you decided it’s time to go off on your own to Saoirse’s Temple in Nyarlothep.”
Cannoli chewed her lower lip and blinked away frustrated tears.
“It’s like every time anyone tries to reach out to you, you shut yourself away. You’ve done this for as long as I’ve known you.” Keke clasped her hands in her lap. “It’s not that I’d rather be with Matt. It’s that you act like you’d rather be literally anywhere else than with us.”
“Us?” Cannoli hissed.
“Yes. Us. Our Party. You, me, Matt, Ravyn, and Ceres.” Keke frowned. “We all want to help you, and you want to run away.”
Cannoli felt trapped. The constant throb in the back of her head ached, the sound pounding against her ears. Why couldn’t Keke understand? What they were doing—what they’d done—was all against Saoirse’s teachings. They should be back on Ni Island, helping Matt to protect the other girls. Men exchanging islands was unprecedented. A man killing another man was unforgivable. Kirti and Yomi both deserved to be tried and judged beneath the goddess. Instead, they roamed free, and their demonic, sacrilegious practices continued.
“You’re doing it again,” Keke said gently. “You’ve gone back into your head.”
“This is all wrong,” Cannoli whispered. “Us leaving Ni. Matt training on Shi. Tristan and Ravyn fixing San. We’re all out of place.”
Keke blinked. “What do you mean?”
“Forget it.” Cannoli deflated, letting her head rest against the wall. “I’m fine, Keke. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“I don’t have to, but I am worried about you. Come on. We used to tell each other everything.” Keke snuck a peanut from her [Cat Pack] and passed it to Buttons. He took it with little hesitation.
“Maybe it’s better this way. For both of us.” Cannoli scooped Buttons up and held him close. “Just go.”
Keke glanced toward the door, then back at Cannoli. “Cannoli—”
“Go!” Cannoli hadn’t meant to yell, but the knife cut deep, and the pain ricocheted through her head. Keke’s presence only made it worse.
Keke stood, her ears flush with her hair. With a resolute nod, she tucked her tail between her legs and left the room.
Cannoli hugged her rabbit and curled up on the bed. Tears slipped from her eyes and dampened her cheeks.
Ravyn, how am I supposed to do this without you?
Comments
DoubleBlind
Glad to hear it! Thanks, Haribo!
HariboHeadHunter
I've been waiting for that inner dialogue behind what Cannoli was going through! Love it.
DoubleBlind
That means a ton! Thank you so much!
Smithman774
I cant tell if Cannoli is projecting from her religious fanaticism, her broken self esteem or a mixture of both. The fact that you managed to put so much personality into a character who comparatively dosent get a ton of screen time (because she's isolating herself) is astounding! A lovely chapter!
