puddles4263
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Chapter 1985
🕑 Added 2022-01-31 08:50:32 +0000 UTCComments
Ted Burgess
Brilliant character development. Obviously I kept turning the pages for good reason. That’s clearly a strength. It seems like the plot meanders and characters or seemingly significant events are left dangling sometimes, which might smooth out with a macro level storyboard arc. Perhaps you’ve done that already, it just isn’t readily apparent to me as a reader.
Ted Burgess
Feedback condensed to next post
Steven winton
Thanks for the work. You do character dialogue and development very well. But. Wayyyyy to much fighting at the expense of story development. Omg. I’m skipping and skipping and skipping just trying to make it to something besides endless and repetitive fight scenes. You could easily cut half the chapters and end up with a much more interesting book. Just my two cents.
Joshua Little
Thanks for the chapter.
Jamie Idle
Beatrice was a great choice for a point of view character for this chapter. I really enjoyed it.
Mushiden
Amazing chapter. Very well done!
nethernight11
Thanks for the chapter
BlackRazaras
Thanks for the chapter
Chris
Leaving it at this point till Thursday is just cruel.
Geozstevenzz
I can't wait for this version of Ghosthound to go into the nexus. He has evolved
InsaneHyde
"against Helen in the dust" Alana
PuDDleS4263
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