puddles4263
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Chapter 1739
🕑 Added 2021-04-22 03:21:55 +0000 UTCComments
Corwin Amber
'Tithe your receive' your -> you OR your -> you will
Thundermike00
I bet you the new image, is an image the MC is very familiar with.
George Hicken
> he would need to soon head to he would soon need to head to (opinion - this ordering reads more smoothly to me)
George Hicken
> With how quickly the driven him With how quickly his driven self
George Hicken
> Because Randidly had begun experiencing the vast spectrum of light with his body, due to his Fatepiece. He peeled the light back layer by layer. Punctuation - should it be “Fatepiece, he peeled”? Or maybe drop the opening “Because”.
George Hicken
> was pulled back past the point of no return was pulled past - back implies it’s escaped after the point of no return
George Hicken
> Its suctions was overwhelming. suction Way more errors in the first portion of this chap than normal for you - might need another period read.
Joshua Little
Thanks for the chapter.
SunderGoldmane
I was wondering how he could see updated notifications again, now I understand.
SunderGoldmane
“The reward should trustworthy” “The reward should be trustworthy”
SunderGoldmane
“So he gave him vague language” “So (they or it) gave him vague language”
SunderGoldmane
“The human light Couldn’t detect” “The Human (eye or sight) couldn’t detect”
SunderGoldmane
“Spread transformed his image” “Spread his transformed image”
nethernight11
Thanks for the chapter
PuDDleS4263
Corrections
