ThatHumanMage
patreon
141. If I Told You How I Really Felt...
🕑 Added 2025-06-30 15:12:18 +0000 UTCWyn adjusted his grip on the basket of groceries as they walked down the dirt path towards The House of Spring. The hospital—as he had come to understand it was—sat a short ways from the base of the trunk, atop a hill overlooking the lower city and the river. Sitting within a grove which separated it from the bustle of the main streets, a winding dirt path led into a small courtyard gated by a wooden fence. Two buildings sat within the fence, the house proper, where Sadirah and her siblings lived, and the clinic in which their father worked, sitting to the right.
Tine skipped ahead, examining her arms every few seconds, eyes still filled with wonder. “It’s really gone. Big sis it’s really gone!”
“I saw,” Sadirah said, her voice soft. She glanced sidelong at Wyn, and though her face was mostly composed, her lips curved gently at the corner. “I’m still surprised you’re alright after that kick.”
“I’m made of tougher stuff than that,” Wyn smiled.
“Seems that way.”
She held the gate open for him as they walked into the courtyard, and Wyn could hear laughter ringing out through the open windows of the old, yet well-kept building. The courtyard of the House of Spring bloomed with verdant green grass surrounded by vibrant flower beds. In the middle was a stone fountain, collecting water in a basin that drained into a small creek which flowed down the hill towards the river.
Sprawled across the grass—arms outstretched, eyes staring up at the sky—was a boy of about fourteen. His skin was pallid, with a web of dark tendrils creeping up his arms and neck like cracks in porcelain. Unlike Sadirah and Tine, it seemed he made no efforts to hide them, wearing a simple pair of shorts and a loose white shirt. He didn’t move as they approached, and honestly could’ve been mistaken for a corpse.
“Zavi Zavi!” Tine called, running over to him with her arms outstretched like a bird's wings. “You’ll never believe what happened at the market!”
“Not now Tine, I’m practicing being dead,” the boy muttered.
Tine huffed. “Zavi…”
Sadirah crouched beside him and ruffled his hair gently. “Zavier, don’t be rude.”
“Yeah!” Tine shouted. “Look Zavi look! I’m all better now!” She pulled up her sleeve, showing off her now-unblemished skin.
The boy, Zavier, sat up suddenly, his eyes widening as he stared at Tine’s arms. “That’s not possible…”
“We met Wyn while out shopping,” Tine grabbed Wyn’s arm and pulled him over, “and he has a blessing that made it go away!”
Zavi schooled his face, shock falling back into dull interest as he turned, but Wyn didn’t miss how his fingers clenched in the dirt. “You say Tine is cured?” His voice was challenging, like he thought Wyn was somehow lying.
“I think so. But, I’ve never seen the withering before, so I don’t want to make any promises.”
“It worked! It worked!” Tine insisted. “I can feel it!”
As Zavi got to his feet, Wyn got a better look at his condition—it was far worse than Tine’s. His arm was black up to his forearm, and veins of the Withering had stretched all the way up his wrists, stopping just below the hands, like a twisted, mangled system of roots. His neck too, was touched by the illness, all the way to his chin, and his legs were no better.
He held out a hand.
“Heal me.” His face was still, without many signs of emotion, but his hand was trembling.
“Zavi that’s—”
“It’s fine Sadirah,” Wyn said. He met Zavi’s eyes and saw so many conflicting emotions reflected in them. Fear, sadness, and yet still a buried flicker of hope. There was anger there too, low and smoldering, like a fire that had run out of fuel. Wyn recognized that, he’d felt it before. He grabbed Zavi’s hand. “It’s harder for me the worse the illness. Yours seems worse than Tine’s, so I can’t make any promises. Also, it might hurt, okay?”
Zavi nodded.
Spirit fire burst forth from Wyn’s soul, hungrily seeking the source of the disease. Zavi’s body ignited, and a gut-wrenching scream wrenched its way out of his chest. Wyn felt the strain a moment later. It was like he’d been crushed under a thousand tons of dirt. He couldn’t even push against it as his vision dimmed and his legs gave out.
Zavi tore his hand away, stumbling back and tripping into the grass as the flames died down, eyes blown wide with shock and terror, his breath coming in ragged gasps.
“What happened?” Sadirah asked hurriedly, moving quickly over to Zavi to make sure he was alright. The spirit fire had burnt away, but he was still clutching and feeling his body as if he was surprised he was still alive.
Wyn had managed to catch himself before hitting the ground, catching his breath on hands and knees as his whole body shook. He felt a small hand on his back, Tine’s
“It’s way worse than Tine’s,” he muttered. “I’m sorry, I don’t…”
“It’s fine,” Zavi interrupted. He was still trembling, and his eyes were distant even as they stared into the dirt, but he’d calmed enough to get himself back into a sitting position. The pain of course, had vanished along with the spirit fire. “It just means nothing has changed, that’s all.”
The words hit something in Wyn, like a dull knife driven into his stomach. He pushed himself up and shook his head. “Give me some time to recover and practice on your siblings. If you’ll put up with the pain, I can try again.”
He didn’t say it, but the practice was irrelevant really. For all that spirit fire had many uses, once it was connected, there wasn’t much nuance in how he could use it. But Iillia had told him that her brother could help him grow. If he could just speak with Haoma, then maybe…
Zavi’s expression didn’t change, but his eyes flicked up to look at Wyn’s face for the briefest of moments. And Sadirah’s eyes flickered as she looked at him, holding a hope that Wyn didn’t want to betray.
“Sure,” the boy said simply. He staggered to his feet, casting one last glimpse at Tine before walking towards the front gate. “I’m going for a walk.”
“Zavi, wait!” Sadirah called over to him, but he just ignored her, turning a corner and walking out of sight.
She didn’t follow. Instead, she slowly turned to Wyn. “He has the worst symptoms of anyone here. We’ve… Well, no one else has lasted as long as him. Do you think you can—”
“It’s not impossible,” Wyn nodded. “But I couldn’t say for sure.”
“I see.” She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and tapped her cheeks twice. When she opened her eyes again, they were brighter. “Please, come inside. I’d love for you to meet everyone.”
The structure of The House was quite strange indeed, larger main rooms surround a larger interior garden. They walked in the front and passed through the kitchen to reach the rest of the children, playing beneath the boughs of late-flowering trees. Unlike the church in Straetum, which had relied completely on Fenfreth and the community as a whole, The House of Spring was large enough to hire other caretakers to handle the children, with some being tutored while others played.
They barely looked up as Sadirah led Wyn outside, until Tine darted ahead and announced his arrival with all the subtlety of a horn.
Though most didn’t understand what she meant at first, curiosity spread fast. The younger children surrounded Wyn in a matter of minutes, asking who he was, where he came from, and why Tine was suddenly twirling around with flawless skin.
Between the two of them, Corrin had always been better with children—and if he’d been around, Wyn would’ve told him it was because he was one—but Wyn had grown up around Corrin’s siblings too, and had a younger brother of his own. So, even as Sadirah tried and failed to keep them from overwhelming him, Wyn embraced his “inner Corrin”, and just dove right in.
It was around the third game of tag that she realized that he and the other caretaker—a young woman named Jana—had things well in hand, and shuffled off to begin cooking, though he noticed her still keeping an eye on him through the kitchen window.
He helped a girl named Nali tie a necklace, he played the role of the monster as several of the young boys played ‘knights’ and tried to slay him, and he even listened patiently as another boy recited an entire poem he’d made up titled “the brave frog general”.
In between each play session—which were really just excuses for him to recover, he cured two more children of their withering, making for three including Tine. He thought he could do more on a normal day, but the attempt with Zavi had taken a lot out of him, and by the time he was done, Wyn’s soul felt a bit raw from the strain.
The sun was dipping lower when Sadirah stepped back in, clapping her hands to get everyone’s attention. “Alright that’s enough for today! Now come on in and wash up for dinner!”
As Wyn swayed a bit on his feet, she grabbed his arm to steady him. “Come sit down,” she said firmly, guiding him towards the dining room table, which stretched across a whole room, long enough to fit a cramped thirty.
He sank into one of the chairs and shot Sadirah a grateful look as she placed a cup of water in front of him, which he happily drank from as the children began to filter back in, settling into their chairs and Sadirah brought over bread and a pitcher to fill people’s drinks.
Despite her insistence, Wyn forced himself up to take the pitcher from her, pouring water for everyone while she distributed the bread, entertaining several disputes from children concerned over being given a smaller piece.
Just as she was about to get out the main course, the front door opened up, and heavy shoes clicked against the marble floor, drawing everyone’s attention.
“Zavi?”
“Just me,” a warm voice replied as an older man stepped around the corner from the hallway. He had a kind-looking face, and wore a set of round glasses that sat low on his nose. Though touched by the years, it was obvious he’d been quite handsome in his youth.
Several of the younger children scrambled to their feet, chorusing “Father!” as he knelt down and swept six of them into a wide-armed hug.
“Welcome home Father,” Sadirah said with a smile. “We have a guest.”
The man raised his head, eyes quickly picking Wyn out and fixing on him.
“Ah, so we do.” He released the children and stood, straightening out his white undershirt as he walked over and held out a hand.
“My name is Iskareth Eylem. To what do I owe the pleasure mister…”
“Wyn, of Straetum. I ran into your daughters in the street, and somehow I wound up back here.”
“Hmm, so Sadirah has finally brought home a boy, has she? I find myself conflicted.” Iskareth laughed jovially.
“Father!” Sadirah protested, her face reddening. “It wasn’t like that!”
“Yes yes I’m sure it wasn’t. Please, Wyn, have a seat. So tell me Sadirah, why have you brought him here?”
Tine interrupted, jumping up and down, showing off her arms.
“I’m all better Father! Wyn used his blessing to make me all better!”
Iskareth's smile faltered—just slightly. His eyes locked onto Wyn’s, the warmth in them flickering out like a candle guttering in the wind. For the briefest instant, Wyn thought he saw something calculating behind the doctor’s gaze, but when he blinked, it was gone.
“He did? Oh my Tine, that is wonderful news! We must celebrate.” He glanced towards the kitchen. “But first, is that dinner I smell?”
“Oh fudge!” Sadirah exclaimed, darting off towards the kitchen. “I forgot the fish!”
As she disappeared into the next room, Iskareth turned his attention back to Wyn and eased into a chair across the table.
“So, it seems I owe you some thanks, young man.” Iskareth folded his hands. “Do you expect compensation for your services? I’m afraid to say there is not much I can offer.”
Wyn thought something about that seemed strange. The House of Spring wasn’t luxurious, but it didn’t speak to financial trouble either. Though perhaps Iskareth assumed any such services would be incredibly costly.
“There’s no need.” Wyn shook his head. “I simply wanted to help, that’s all.”
“Truly? Then I must say, I appreciate your generosity. Was it true what Tine said? You have a blessing that cures ailment?”
“That would be one way of describing it.” Wyn took a long drink from his mug.
“The spirits are powerful indeed,” Iskareth nodded slowly. “All the efforts of man still struggle to compare. You sway well, which I suppose is to be expected by a blessed person like yourself. How long have you lived in Liresil.”
“Actually, I only arrived two days ago. I’m originally from Straetum, a small town on—”
“The Northern Plateau,” Iskareth finished. “Yes, I've heard of it. You’re quite a ways from home young man.”
“You’re from the Northern Plateau?” Sadirah asked, setting down the tray of fish after returning from the kitchen. She began to dole out portions, serving the fish alongside herb-topped rice.
“Yes and yes,” Wyn smiled. “I’m traveling east to Taravast. My friend and I intend to become spirit knights.”
The younger children burst into a flurry of chatter at that. Wyn smiled sheepishly as they pelted him with questions.
Iskareth raised his brows, smiling as he slowly cut into his portion. “A spirit knight, quite high sights indeed. Though, you might consider a quieter path. Someone with your blessing would make for a remarkable physician.”
“I hope to study medicine more seriously when I reach Edria,” Wyn nodded. “But if a monster attacks a village, a simple doctor cannot stop it.”
“Nor can a sword stop a plague,” Iskareth countered gently. “Disease kills far more than monsters ever could.”
Wyn twisted the wooden spoon between his fingers, lighting it with spirit fire. “I’ve been blessed then, with the ability to assist in both situations. Though I’ve found that I’m often lacking despite that. In the end, I’m still far too weak to accomplish my goal.”
“If I may offer you something, Wyn.” Iskareth wiped his lips with a napkin, “don’t be too hard on yourself for not being strong enough. No one is. It isn’t weakness, that’s simply what it means to be human.”
“And yet, surely we must still try, isn’t that right?”
“I suppose you’re right.” Iskareth smiled. “I think, were I to meet my younger self, he would be unsatisfied with the man I’ve become. As I’m sure you do, I’ve always lamented that weakness. In fact, when I was a boy, I wanted to create a world free of death.”
“And you said I had high sights,” Wyn smiled. “Though, it would be nice…”
Iskareth chuckled quietly. “Yes well, perhaps it was a foolish hope. But I was quite serious at the time. After the war with Nladia took my parents, I threw myself into my studies. I thought if I just studied hard enough, devoted myself to it, I could do it. Save everyone.”
Wyn’s own expression shifted, mirroring the doctor’s. “I understand that. My father died when I was only ten, when monsters attacked my village.”
Iskareth looked at him, and his gaze grew gentle. “I am truly sorry to hear that. I suppose your choice is clearer to me now. I understand that helplessness. It never quite leaves you.”
Wyn struggled to find the right words after that.
Iskareth seemed to notice, and he smiled warmly. “Ah, but perhaps this is not appropriate dinner conversation, especially with the children here, I apologize. I was feeling nostalgic, you remind me quite a bit of myself when I was your age.”
“A good thing I hope,” Wyn chuckled.
Iskareth didn’t give him a response, instead turning to face his daughter. “Sadirah, I have no need of you tonight, though I will tomorrow.”
“But Father,” Sadirah frowned. “If Wyn can cure the rest of them…”
“It will be a wonderful thing,” Iskareth agreed easily. “But Wyn is still just one man. And one only passing through at that. Until a true cure is developed, more children will wither, and more will die. Without you, I could not hope to make one so soon.”
Something in her face seemed to twist at the reminder, and she bowed her head. “Right… of course.”
Iskareth nodded, and turned to chat with the rest of the children as he finished up his meal. The atmosphere didn’t dim at all, and yet Wyn found himself watching Sadirah. She didn’t say much for the rest of the dinner, eyes glued to her plate as she ate slowly. Even when Zavi returned, grabbing a plate and taking it off to his room, she hardly glanced up.
“Tine, Arnim, Nali, would you three come with me?” Iskareth gathered the three Wyn had cured as dinner wrapped up. “I’d like to inspect your conditions for myself. The rest of you start getting ready for bed.”
“Aww…” those of them going to bed complained, but they obeyed well enough, and Jana soon came in to corral them.
“Bye Wyn!” Tine waved as she walked off with her Father. “See you soon!”
Wyn waved back to all three of them, wishing them a goodnight as everyone funneled out. Soon, only he and Sadirah remained in the room. She was still distant, her eyes gazing out the window at the slowly darkening skies.
Wyn quietly sat down next to her, fixing his eyes on the same sight, and they sat together for a minute or two, before he finally spoke.
“Surely there’s a better view than this.”
Sadirah stirred, her dull eyes catching the light streaming in through the glass as she turned to look at him.
He smiled softly. “Would you mind showing me one? If you’ve lived here for so long, I’m sure you know a good place to watch the sunset.”
“Well there is…” She paused, her lips twitching.
“Lead the way.”
“Are you sure you’re good to walk around?” She asked, a small smirk returning to her face. “You looked pretty unsteady earlier.”
“Yeah well, I got hit pretty hard if you remember,” he mused.
She slapped his arm gently. “You said it was fine!”
Wyn laughed. “C’mon, I’m feeling a lot better after that food, thanks for making it by the way. Absolutely delicious.”
Sadirah slowly got up, making her way into the hall. She slowed for a second as she reached the foyer, looking down at her simple clothing, and sighed. She brought one hand up, tapping her cheek twice, and straightened again, pushing open the door.
“I’ve gotten a lot of practice,” she said without looking back at him.
Wyn looked up at the branches above, painted amber in the dying sunlight. “You cook a lot then huh? I never got much into it myself, but my best friend has been trying to learn lately.”
“Yeah, almost every day since I turned twelve, Father just wouldn’t let me use the stove before then, I was an… accident-prone child.”” she said, clasping her hands behind her back as they walked past the fountain. “But it’s not for you?”
Wyn shrugged. “My father was a baker, and I guess I’m still a baker’s son at heart. I haven’t been able to do it as much since we started traveling though… I should ask Eryndor if I can use his kitchen, he seems like he wouldn’t mind.”
“Eryndor?”
“That’s a long story.”
“We’ve time,” Sadirah countered. “But perhaps, you could abridge it for me?”
“I guess the important part is, he’s a spirit knight we met here…”
They walked through the streets of Liresil, Sadirah leading the way, and Wyn following as they slowly ascended the tree. They talked about all sorts of mundane things—foods they liked, stories they’d heard, people they’d met. Wyn asked questions about Liresil, and in return she asked questions about Titan’s Pass, Straetum, and everywhere in-between. Eventually, they stopped ascending, having reached a platform about halfway up the tree, still talking all the while.
“...and they worship a giant worm?”
“Tunukama,” Wyn nodded. “At least, that’s what Trell said.”
“That’s so weird.”
“You’re not wrong, but also, you guys worship a tree!”
Sadirah laughed, snorting just a bit. “Crap you’re right!”
“It was an amazing town though,” Wyn grinned. “And I guess it holds a bit of a special place in my heart, as the first place we went that was actually… well, different.”
“So this Corrin, he’s the friend of yours trying to become a spirit knight too?”
“The same,” Wyn smiled. “Let me tell you, he’s a real piece of work. He’s lazy, childish, and gets me into more trouble than you’d believe.”
“Oh? You’re not the troublemaking type then?”
“I’ll have you know I was quite the well-behaved child before I met him!” Wyn laughed.
Sadirah swayed slightly as she walked, but it didn’t seem to be to the spirit song. “You don’t seem too mad about it though.”
“No,” Wyn admitted. “I’m not. When I was younger, I used to think he was the most amazing person I’d ever met. It always seemed like he knew just what he wanted, and like there was nothing at all that could stop him. At the time I figured, if I just followed behind him, I’d get to go to those same places. I wanted to be more like him, I guess.”
“I don’t know. You don’t seem so bad as you are.”
“Ah but that’s just because you don’t know me well enough,” Wyn chuckled.
They finally reached their destination, a quiet overlook facing west, out towards where the sun was setting over the hills.
“I’m surprised there’s not more people here,” Wyn noted.
“Yeah well, the higher up platforms are more popular, but that’s part of the reason I like coming here. There’s another reason too though, can you hear that?”
Wyn listened carefully, and as his ears tuned in, he realized that the sounds of music from one of the amphitheatres down below just so happened to drift up to where they stood, a little distant, but still clear and distinct. They were far enough from any others too, that it was the only song they heard.
“Wow, this really is a good spot,” he smiled, leaning on the railing.
“Yeah, I’ve been coming here for years now.” She pointed across the river. “But you see that hill over there? That’s the place to go at night. If you climb it, you can see all of Liresil lit up at night. The river, the tree branches, everything.”
“Good to know, you’re the expert for sure.”
They settled in, and the sun slowly dipped down over the hills.
“You mentioned something at dinner that I’ve been wondering about,” Sadirah said as they watched. “You said you had a goal? Did you just mean the spirit knight thing?”
Wyn reddened, glancing away. “Well, kind of. But to be honest it’s a bit embarrassing to say it out loud.”
“Well now you have to tell me,” she pressed, nudging his side. “C’mon! You shouldn’t be embarrassed to talk about it.”
“Fine,” Wyn grumbled. “But you can’t laugh.”
“Promise.”
“I want to be a hero, like from a storybook. The kind of hero that can save everyone in his reach.”
He didn’t hear anything back, and after a moment, he turned to look at her.
Sadirah’s eyes were slightly widened, and her lips were parted as though she’d frozen mid-breath. Slowly, she turned away, her own cheeks flushing to match.
“Well,” she said quietly. “I think that’s a really good dream.”
***
The sun had fallen completely as Wyn made his way back to the inn where they were staying. He’d walked Sadirah back to the House of Spring, and after extracting a promise from him to come back the next day, he’d left. He couldn’t believe how long he’d been out—he’d gotten sidetracked.
Wyn groaned into his hands as he tried to think about managing his time in the city. There was just too much to do, what a mess. Still, it wasn’t a bad day at all.
The room was empty when he got back. Corrin and Kei were still out apparently. But Wyn was dead tired, and didn’t really care to wait for them.
“Eia,” he mumbled into the pillow. “Can you see if they’re at Erydnor’s still? If so, just let Kei know I’m back, okay?”
She sent back a mental affirmation, and Wyn slowly began to drift off.
You know, your heart rate was elevated for that entire walk, Eia smugly whispered in his mind..
“Did you see when I fell down a flight of sidewalk earlier? It’s probably a lingering effect from that.”
Mm-hmm.
Comments
El Caso Es
This was really cute but I'm hoping if he does date or end up with someone it's with a partner that compliments him and not just a cute nice girl. Thats why I thought the spirit song girl could maybe work. Maybe it could be Sadirah. I'll let you cook
im Panda
My boy has his first crush 😭😭 they grow up so fast
