Ella Noir
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FlirtyFetishes: BDSiM Guide 2025
🕑 Added 2023-09-12 20:45:00 +0000 UTCThe Flirty Sim’s Guide to BDSiM
A detailed walkthrough of how to play EllaNoir’s FlirtyFetishes: BDSiM, the BDSM mod for the Sims 4.
by EllaNoir
*This mod was created with no affiliation to The Sims 4 or EA Games. This mod is my creation and I do not give permission to anyone to sell this mod or claim as their own.
Getting Started
To begin FlirtyFetishes in-game, BDSiM Traits must be applied to your Sims. Without these traits, the BDSM features do not exist for your Sims.
Where are BDSiM Traits?
Sim traits based on BDSM can be found in both the Rewards Store for 1000 Satisfaction Points and in Wicked Attributes if Turbodriver's Wicked Whims is also installed.
The Rewards Store is found at the bottom right of the UI, under the Aspirations option. Select the Rewards Store tab to view and add the BDSiM Traits to your Sims.
Wicked Attributes is a feature from Wicked Whims, the groundbreaking TS4 mod created by Turbodriver. Wicked Whims mod must be installed to apply BDSiM Traits with Wicked Attributes. Click the Sim you wish to add the BDSiM Traits to, and select the "Wicked Whims" menu. Then click "Personalization">"Wicked Attributes">Give Wicked Attributes. Your selection of BDSM traits for your Sims is now available and with no cost.
BDSiM Traits Lists
The BDSM-based Sim traits (typically) fall into one of two roles: Dominant Role or submissive Role. Traits under the Dominant Role show interests in dominance and behave accordingly.
BDSiM Traits of the Dominant Role:
Assertive: Direct, Dominant, Calculated, Psychological
Demeaning: Degrading, cold,
Goddess: Divine, Initiate Sissification
Sadist: inflicts pain, such as spanking
Of the submissive Role:
Brat: disobedient
Degraded: enjoys humiliation
Eager: submissive and willing
Masochist: enjoys pain
Sissy: enjoys degradation with forced femineity
Other BDSiM Traits:
Switch: The ability to experience both Traits: Eager and Assertive--great for Sims within the Exclusive .package who want to be both Dominant and submissive Roles!
BDSiM Insight: Deeper intuition toward BDSiM feelings and emotions, requires aftercare
About BDSiM Traits
If for any reason you wish to change a Sim's Role, remove the traits and add the counter traits. I am creating a simpler way to change this.
Once BDSiM traits are added to your Sims, they are ready to engage in BDSiM events, conversations, and use BDSiM Skill books.
Reminder: The ExclusiveTraits .package means Sims can only have one type of BDSiM Traits: Dominant Role OR submissive Role.
*If you have WW installed, you may use the Global option to disperse BDSiM Traits to NPCs in your world.
Did you know? NPCs who witness BDSiM in public and do not have any BDSiM traits, can react differently based off their current personality?
BDSiM Skills
The majority of the BDSiM Traits have 1+ skill available to increase. Increasing a trait's skill will unlock new Social Interactions based on the trait's essence. Each Trait Skill has a maximum level of 5. Once this skill is maxed, a Reward Trait will be rewarded. Skill books are also available for qualifying traits. Purchase all BDSiM Skill books from the bookcase.
Dominant & submissive Role Skills
Skill books for the Dominant Role and submissive Role are also available. The Dominant and submissive skills have a maximum level of 10. Completing these skills will reward the Traits: Master, Mistress (depending on the gender choices chosen), or slave.
Receive the Master/Mistress and slave Traits by maxing out the Dominant and submissive Skills to collar or be collared! Only Sims with Master or Mistress Traits can collar a Sim. Only sims with slave Trait can be collared.
*Reward Traits are only badges right now, and will have more added to them soon.
Social Interactions
To engage with another Sim using any of the BDSiM Socials from any BDSiM Trait, the target Sim must have at least one BDSiM Trait of the opposite role. For example, your Sim has the Assertive Trait. This trait is of the Dominant Role. For your Sim to use Assertive Social Interactions with that sexy little redhead over there, they will need to first learn if the redheaded Sim has any submissive Role traits. If the target redhead is submissive, then your Sim can use all the Assertive Interactions they have unlocked!
A Sim can learn if another Sim is in a D/s Dynamic as well if they have any BDSiM Traits in the BDSiM Pie Menu.
Some BDSiM Traits have Social Interactions that are unlocked as the Sim progresses its skill. These traits are: Assertive, Eager, Demeaning, Degraded, and Switch, respectively. The remaining traits require more additions until they have this feature.
While some BDSiM Social Interactions are repurposed using EA's animations, many others now perform custom animations made by my animator, Marysal. New animations are added with every update!
*Sissy Trait does not have any Social Interactions at this time. More will be added in the future as well as for Sadist, Goddess, Masochist, and Brat.
Performing BDSiM Social Interactions with the counter target Sim will increase the two Sims' BDSiM relationship track. The BDSiM Track is a simple way for the mod to keep track on when, how, and with whom BDSiM activities were performed. The track is neutral and does not affect the Sims' Romance track. The interaction awareness will make for fun buffs, sentiments, and moods to appear as I continue to grow this system.
Moods & Buffs
FlirtyFetishes includes Moods unique to each BDSiM Trait. Engaging in BDSiM activities, like BDSiM Social Interactions, will affect your Sims’ moods. This immerses the Player further into their Sim's fun as they become aware of why their Sim is in that type of mood. The mood even has a possibility to increase into a stronger variant!
*The Switch Trait will experience the Assertive moods and the Eager moods.
Most BDSiM Traits come with two levels of their BDSIM Moods, the initial mood which can be increased to the advanced mood. Some BDSiM Traits only have one mood like the Masochist Trait. While the Sissy Trait does not have this feature yet. (These traits will have their own BDSiM Moods soon!)
As Sims partake in BDSiM fun, buffs (also known as moodlets) will appear in the UI to give more detail on why your Sim is experiencing their moods.
Relationships
When two Sims with any BDSiM Trait(s) meet for the first time, this automatically prompts a new relationship line. This is a neutral scale to keep track of any future interactions. This will bring some new and unique elements coming soon.
Ds Dynamic: Creating a D/s Dynamic is for Sims who are interested in committing more time together in the BDSiM Lifestyle. There are no requirements needed to create this relationship. Sims may also be in multiple D/s Dynamics at a time. Whether there is jealousy...well, that is up to the Dom/me to decide what to do about. However, with recent TS4 and/or if you are using WickedWhims or MCCC, you can disable jealousy globally or individually.
Contract: When two Sims sign the Contract of Consent, they are consenting on paper their commitment to their contrasting roles to themselves, and each other. As of now, there isn't much more this feature than the title. However, with the new systems I have created, a lot more can be expected for this in the future.
Ownership: Once a Sim has maximized the Dominant Skill, they are awarded the Master/Mistress Trait. This unlocks the ability to collar any Sim with the slave Trait. Once the slave has been collared by the Mas/Mis, the Mas/Mis now has Ownership of the slave.
To end D/s Dynamic or Ownership, the option can be found in the relative pie menu.
Collaring a Sim
Once a Sim is a Master or Mistress, they have the ability to collar a Sim with the slave trait. A Sim with a maxed submissive Role skill will be awarded the slave trait, and thus, can be collared by any Sim with the Master/Mistress Traits.
To initiate collaring a Sim, there are two choices. Having a Collaring Ceremony is a great way to invite other Sims to witness the collaring of the slave-to-be! In the Social menu on your phone, select "Create Social Event". Select the event titled "Collaring Ceremony".
Plan An Event
You will then be asked who is the Master/Mister and who is the slave along with any guests, a musician, and bartender. Once you have decided who is coming, you are able to select the Collar Ceremony's location.
Click the check mark at the bottom right corner to confirm the Collaring event. Whether the ceremony is a scheduled future event or one that begins instantly, new Social Interactions will appear exclusive to the Collaring Ceremony.
If you selected "Goal," then you will find a list of objectives to the left for you to complete. The more you complete, the higher your Party Reward will be. Rewards at this time are only money.
Collar Sim
To collar your Sim, the Master/Mistress only needs to click on the Sim and will find the option to "Collar slave" in the Master or Mistress pie menus.
After the Mas/Mis has collared their slave, the two are then in a relationship called "Ownership".
*Sims MUST be "Master/Mistress" and "slave" to COLLAR and BE COLLARED.
Moving sub In
Once a D/s D has been created and the Contract of Consent has been signed, your sub will have the option to move in with the Dominant Sim via the Dom/me's request. Find the option under the "D/s Dynamic" pie menu. Clicking on it will take to you through the same "Move-in" options existing already.
Training Session
The BDSiM Training Session is a Social Event found in the Social category on your Sim's phone. Any Sim with any BDSiM Trait can create BDSM Training events in the Sims 4. The Training Session immerses Sims into the deliciously depraved world of BDSiM with the encouragement to indulge in their darker cravings. Whether your Sims are experienced or just beginning, don't forget each Training Social Interaction increases the Major BDSiM Skills: Dominant and Submissive. It's makes training as hot as it is educational!
Begin BDSiM Training Session
To begin the BDSM Training Session for your Sims, open your phone and select the Social option then click on the "Create a Social Event" option. A list of events will be presented where you can scroll until you see the "BDSiM Training Session" event. Select the event by clicking on it and then click the arrow at the bottom right corner to continue.
*This BDSM event for training Sims starts out at the low price of 100 Simoleons. Now that's a BDSM Social Event that gives you a bang for your buck. So much banging, slapping, spanking, kneeling, choking on your...erm, well, you get the idea.
“In case you didn’t catch that...”
The BDSiM Training isn't meant to train only submissive Sims to submit and obey, but to also train the Dominant Sims to direct, use, and discipline, to progress the Dominant skill, and to earn the Dominant Sims closer to their sought-for honorific of "Master/Mistress.”
Choose the Sims for the BDSM Session of Training
Just as with any other event in the Sims 4 game, the menu to choose the Sims to be involved will concurrently appear.
There are two required positions to be filled when creating the Training event. The slot for the Dom/me Sim and the other slot for the submissive Sim.
You will see the slot for the Dominant Role is labeled, "Master" or "Mistress". The official Master/Mistress trait is not a requirement for Dominant Sims invited in a Training Session. However, Dominant Sims in training will be called temporarily "Master/Mistress" for training purposes. and "Sim to Train" for the submissive Sim.
Hiring NPC Sims for BDSiM Training
*(This Feature is currently undergoing maintenance.)
The Dominant Role Slot has the job title, "Dominus" for male gender choice or "Domina" for female gender choice. Up to 2 Sims may be selected for this position. *FYI: I chose these honorifics to add versatility to FlirtyFetishes and prevent every Dom/me title to be the same and give everyone a way to experience their preferred names.
The submissive Role job title is simply, "Sub for Hire." These are Sims available to hire are meant to submit to your Dominant Sims' commands, all for the sake of training.
Once these two jobs have been selected, the Player is able to select the BDSM Training Session's location and begin. Or, if the Player wishes to add extra Sims to the Training Session, there are two additional positions offered: a Dominant Role and a submissive Role.
These two slots invite extra Sims are optional. Sims with BDSiM Traits will appear in the respected Role slot and be available to invite. If your Sim does not know any Sims in either Role ISL(in sim life vs. in real life? No. Okay. You suck. I don't.) they can hire a Sim for 1000 instead.
*More Training Session Social Interactions for The Sims 4 are continually being made and added with each update.
If it's important to your Sims' to increase their Major BDSiM Skills, the Training Session is a reliable and consistent option. Your BDSiM skill will rise as surely as the subs rise when commanded to.
BDSiM Insight Trait
This trait gives Sims a deeper sense of their selves and others concerning BDSiM. They are affected by BDSiM Social Interactions and each interaction will decrease the Sim’s BDSiM Meter. The BDSiM Meter is a hidden commodity or need that fluctuates from 100 to -100, based on the Sim with the BDSiM Insight Trait actions and environment.
As a Sim engages with BDSiM Socials, the Meter decreases, causing negative buffs.
-25 : Potential Problem buff appears
-50 : Reality Check buff appears
-99 : SimDrop Incoming
-100 : Crash & Yearn - this buff will stay indefinitely as it is considered SimDrop and the most Aftercare is needed to recover!
You are able to preform Aftercare Socials at anytime if your Sims have the BDSiM Trait. To prevent SimDrop from occurring (-99 to -100 buffs), perform Aftercare Socials often, especially after BDSiM Socials.
Fun Extras
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this guide. I hope you enjoy FlirtyFetishes!
Creator’s Note:
There are plenty of things in FlirtyFetishes that are not yet completed. Some photos may be empty and there may be other elements that are lacking. Please understand that I am adding updates monthly to fill and grow this mod. Your patience is appreciated!
Your feedback is greatly valued so please let me know if there is anything you would like to see added or different. I am always happy to take most things into consideration.
And if you see anywhere that has a typo or is empty where there is mostly supposed to be a description or other writing, please let me know ASAP with a screenshot if possible!
*Troubleshooting: I am always happy to help resolve any issue that is affecting gameplay with FlirtyFetishes: BDSiM. But before you contact me, please take these steps first to save us both time and resolve the issue as soon as possible!
1. Is the .TS4SCRIPT file only ONE folder deep?
The bar in your File Explorer should look like the photo below:
2. Is your game updated? Are all your mods up to date—including FlirtyFetishes? Prove it.
3. Have you removed all your mods EXCEPT FlirtyFetishes and loaded the game to see if the issue still exists?
4. Have you read through this guide, like really read it, to see if maybe you are missing something?
5. If you have done steps 1-4 and the issue persists, then please contact to me! For the quickest response for support, contact me via Discord. If not, try X(Twitter) before LL. Whichever path you choose, I will do my best to get you and your Sims back on track!
Credits:
TURBODRIVER because duh.
Marysal: Creating the custom animations for FF!
Overseer Zara
And of course, players like you. Thank you so much for being here!
Comments
Malice Kingson
running tally of aftercare actions i've taken in two hours playing - 27 yet my sim will not leave the crash and yearn state...
EllaNoir
FlirtyFetishes does not make a red mark to appear around the neck.
Skyler Gavins
Which trait do I remove in order to remove the red mark around the neck
Skyler Gavins
Hey how do I remove the red mark around my sims neck ?
EllaNoir
In FlirtyFetishes, there is no such thing as a Dom or sub trait, only skills. But there are two categories of traits: Dominant type and submissive type. Meaning under the category of Dominant traits, there are 4 BDSiM traits: Assertive, Demeaning, Sadist, Goddess. These traits are all "Dominant type". Vice versa for submissive type traits: Brat, Eager, Masochist, Degraded, Sissy. Each trait contributes to its own skill, and to the TYPE of general skill Dominant or submissive. I hope this helps. Let me know if you need more assistance!
Felix Lefae
Hi, so I'm slightly confused. You mention two different dom/sub traits, but I can only gain the skill trait, not the actual trait. They don't show up in the wicked whims or reward store menus. I had hoped the newer update would fix this but maybe I'm just reading things wrong? I have the exclusive traits package installed. So do I add demeaning/demeaned (for example) and THEN gain the dom/sub TRAIT and not the skill trait? I get that you gain the skill trait from the books.
EllaNoir
Omg! I have just created this and am releasing it tomorrow. Danggggg you know what's up.
Elena
BDSIM Insight and its mechanics are really cool, but the BDSiM Meter drops really fast. I only raised it this morning to remove the Potential Problem negative buff, but the Sims went to work and returned, and the Reality Check negative buff had already appeared. It would be cool to add a cheat code to raise this meter or some way to adjust the rate at which it drops. So for now, I'm enjoying the mod without this trait 🤗
EllaNoir
Hi! The latest version is from September. The next one can be expected later this month. Would you mind telling me what you find isn't working?
Mysticalsimmer
when dus the new one com online becus the old one dusent work for my
EllaNoir
Hi! It does not wear off on its own. Aftercare must be initiated to rid the Crash and Yearn buff. It is my advice to use aftercare before it gets to this point.
RallyPanther
Hi, new to the mod, and my sim is constantly returning to in the simdrop crash&yearn is a moodlet. Is there a time were this will wear off or do you have to just keep aftercare? Even after no engraving in any activities.
EllaNoir
Hi! I think you are combining elements of FlirtyFetishes and another BDSM mod because my mod does not have a training focus with what you have mentioned. I would suggest removing one and seeing what is in-game to compare and see what you can do do help your Sims! Also, get the July update for the public version but there is also a September version out for Pledges!
Oguz Haksever
Hi, I use April update. I have one slave (collared, owned) and one mistress. I chose a training focus but I cannot train her because Master->Training->Very Easy->Inspect X box is disabled. It says I should punish the slave first. The slave is "Due Punishment" mode and she is unhappy for not to be used. I used so Demeaning, Dominant, Sadist, D/s Dynamic options for punishment (even Dominant->Punish option) , the animation comes up but I'm nowhere for training. Help please.
EllaNoir
Hey! First things first, are your Sims Master/Mistress and slave?
Timid Argonaut
Having trouble 'collaring my slave' the option does not appear
Leo
Also, do you recommend a particular set of animations to download?
Leo
New to this mod and not too sure if this is where I can ask questions. I have an originally female SIM that I had make Transvestite with a penis. Is there another masculine to Goddess that I can use so I can force Sub to perform Felicia?
Ilona Callaghan
i found them when i did the cheat to unlock all objects
MARMED911
So, I installed the last update, and the BDSiM books will not appear in the bookcase or my inventory. They appear in the build inventory instead. I tried placing them in the world, but they can only be dragged around the lot; no other interaction is possible.
Zara
There is a doc file in the zip that explains the difference between the two package files.
Zara
Hello, the previous version is not compatible. EllaNoir is removing the beta, this month's update is meant to be more stable.
Brittany Perea
hi im confused. what's the difference between inclusive and exclusive traits? I'm not sure which to download if i want to allow switch
cerulean_crayon
Hi there, with all due respect - is there a timeline for when the sub drop issue will be fixed? I became a patron to get access to the mod, but I can't use it because the sub drop buffs are permanent and can't be cancelled even with UI cheats. I appreciate that you posted a poll in regards to the feature, but I would really like to use the mod and currently I cannot. Is the previous version that isn't beta compatible with the current patch? If so, I'll use that for the timebeing. Edit: I didn't realize at first how affective jogging is, so this has solved my issues for now. I installed it to try to give it another try, and the drop isn't as drastic as it was the last time. However, I would still really like to be able to delete the buffs and they are currently locked and don't disappear with a right click with UI cheats installed or via shift clicking on the Sim. Thank you!
EllaNoir
Hey! As of now, no there isn't. But since this is a beta, I will keep your notes and see what I can do for your Master pimp whore so the SimDrop doesn't contradict your story!
Luci Martin
is there a way to turn off the sim drop especially from dominant, the dude is always depressed and it is annoying. and unnatural. i get it but my sim is not only working towards a master pimp but is also a bit of a whore himself. so again always freaking dropping and his status does not call for him being depressed and mopey all the time
EllaNoir
Hi! Are your Sims a Master/Mistress and slave as well as in a D/s Dynamic?
Fred Carter
Please help, I've followed the guide exactly to get my slave to collared state, but whenever I try to collar them (either in a ceremony or privately) I don't have the option to collar slave, I have Present gift (doesn't do anything, won't present a gift) express gratitude, order to show submission but no collar slave option. Please can you advise me where I went wrong.
EllaNoir
It's on the post that is titled FlirtyFetishes: BDSiM August Update, at the bottom. Available for tiers $5+ for early access.
yellowflowerevy
Q~Q I have looked everywhere I cant find the link to download?
EllaNoir
Sims must have a Romance of at least 30% before the D/s Dynamic is prompted in the D/s Dynamic Pie Menu. I will send you a link for Discord in your DM!
Mookie
I'm having the same exact problem as you and did the same things to fix it. I can max on the d/s skills but I can't find the flirtyfetishes traits in the wicked attributes or do any of the actions
Snax Hexem
I cannot for the life of me get them to create a d/s dynamic. I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong. They have alt he traits and are maxed out on the skills they need. Also. I can’t find the discord anywhere. 😭
Coffin
Hello, your mod looks amazing and I can't wait to try it. Maybe I'm doing something wrong but I can't seem to get the mod to work for me. I've tried multiple different/up to the newest files and nothing changes. I even removed all my other mods and restarted my computer/the game. I've made sure its one folder in as shown. Even going as far as starting a new game. My sims game is up to date as of 6/2/24.
EllaNoir
Hi! My mod does not have prostitution. My mod is for BDSM features. Perhaps you are thinking of Nisa K's Wicked Perversions? If so, there may be an option in prostitution settings.
Sabine Ooms
I love your mod! I have been playing with it for a while now. The only thing I have not been able to figure out if you are able to solicit in certain hours. Because my sim even gets solicited during labor or at night when she is really tired. I decline them, but sometimes it gets really annoying when they keep calling. Is there a way to mute or put certain hours?
EllaNoir
You are welcome 🥹
Camille JOSEPHINE
Hey, thanks you for your work !
EllaNoir
Hi! The link can be found on the most recent post, typically titled something including the word "update." I hope this helps!
Gammer Girl
How do we get the link?
EllaNoir
Hi! I am looking forward to that as well! Please click the download link from the post labeled with Fix 3.20. Extract the zip file and transfer the FlirtyFetishes folder to your Mods folder. Ensure your game has allowed Mods in the game settings. And you should be all set! Let me know if you have anymore questions :)
Water is Life
Hi there. I just signed up. We are looking forward to trying the Mod but what is the process to actually install it?
EllaNoir
Hi! Do you have any packs installed with your game?
VistaStudios
for some reason the Masochist trait isn't showing up for me
EllaNoir
Can you please explain what issue you are having in depth so I cN better understand?
bj
Same Problem
EllaNoir
Hi! This is strange. Which troubleshooting steps have you taken to solve this?
AR
Hey sorry if I'm just missing something really obvious, but I've been trying to troubleshoot this for a few weeks now so I figured I'd ask. Nothing but the Sadist/Masochist social options exist despite having the traits/level of traits. Any ideas what I'm doing wrong?
EllaNoir
No, from the testing I did and no reports from anyone else of breaking, FlirtyFetishes is good to play.
Jaxx Miller
Did this mod break with the new update?
EllaNoir
Yes, always remove the older version and only have the newest! ☺️
Rex time
do i need to delete the old versions?
James Bender
cool i like both mods
EllaNoir
Hi! A lot of people play both and no one has ever mentioned to me a conflict issue.
James Bender
I have Kritical Dreams Of Surrender mod. will this mod conflict with it?. Because i like both of mods
EllaNoir
Yes!
Aelan Ryland
are your mods clear for the FOR RENT patch?
EllaNoir
Yes, it should! Just let me know if it doesn't.
Valornim
Can a sim with the Switch trait be both the master of one sim and the slave of another?
EllaNoir
That is understandable haha. I suggest taking a look at the FlirtyFetishes: BDSiM Guide I have provided for you here to learn about how to begin and what all you can do and expect in FlirtyFetishes! If you have any more questions the guide and walkthrough do not answer, please let me know. I hope you enjoy my mod and welcome to modding The Sims NSFW style ;)
kimi
no I completely missed that I don’t know how to do that. I just got the Sims on PC yesterday lol so I’m pretty new to all this sorry
EllaNoir
Have you added the BDSiM traits to your Sims from Wicked Attributes or the Rewards Store?
kimi
I'm not sure if I did it wrong
kimi
I don't know if anything is working. I've downloaded and extracted the files when i play the game the only new options i have outside of the whicke whims I think is a d/s role and to ask for it but then nothing after that and theres two other icon options that are blank
EllaNoir
Hi! Please explain what is is not working in detail.
kimi
I don't understand what I'm doing wrong I've downloaded so many different files of these trying to get it to work and they just are not
