Deadly Stories
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IM/DC Chapter 110
🕑 Added 2024-05-28 12:42:00 +0000 UTCHow the fuck did he sneak up on me? I raise my hands and my smirk turns to a frown as I see who it is. Jonah Hex. Once again how? Why was he not pinging on any of my enhanced senses? As if to answer my question. “Injun magic.” “Holy fuck dude Tallulah Black talks like a normal person, you guys went through history at a normal speed you must know that’s extremely offensive.”
Jonah Hex just spits a big mouthful of tobacco onto the floor before saying. “T-aint nothing bout it. Jus the way I talk.” He clicked over the other revolver aiming at my head before I cut him off before he shot. “That wanted poster is no longer valid. The group that put the hit out on me is gone. Bakuto, the man who put the hit out on me is dead.”
Now, why was a placating this crazed man over just snapping his neck? One, I could feel his plot armor working against that. Two, he’s fucking murdered Superman before. Chances are he has some shit in play that can take down supers as strong as me. I ask. “Those normal bullets in that gun?” I just chuckled. “What you think?”
How do I play this? I think he’ll still be aware enough if I make a portal under his feet, I can’t teleport away, something is stopping me. Probably the injun magic. What the actual fuck though, I don’t remember learning about that with my magical knowledge. Alright, well besides that it’s probably a drug or something I still need to think this through.
Two guns pointed at the back of my head, if I make any sudden moves he’s likely to pull the trigger. Super old-timey guy, probably super homophobic. Maybe he's self-conscious about his looks. I decide to telekinetically pull his pants down. Without even looking at what happened he just keeps his guns on me as he says. “I can’t cock my guns any more than they are. Jus imagine another cocking noise right now.”
I hear another set of revolvers cock as Tallulah Black entered from the corner. “It would probably sound something like that yeah?” As if the start of a storm, the rest of the women I fucked started to pile into the room. Like that one scene in Avengers Endgame where all the females protect the gauntlet, they also show up to ‘protect the package’.
I think I could have escaped but now I didn’t have to as he dropped his gun. “I know when I’m beat. Aint killin all these beautys protectin their man. Don quite understand it myself but if ain’t no one payin the bounty ain’t no reason to spill blood in front of all these pretty ladies.” Ahh yea, Jonah Hex’s weakness was women.
As he left he kept tipping his hat to them as they kept coming in. “Ma’am, ma’am, ma’am, ma’am, ma’am, ma’am, ma’am, ma’am, ma’am, ma’am, ma’am, ma’am, ma’am, ma’am, ma’am, ma’am, ma’am.” I couldn’t help but burst out laughing at how things played out. I just had to go kill a demon now and everything would be over.
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Gorgon sat in meditation in front of a crack in reality absorbing as much of the demonic energy as he could to strengthen his body. He was becoming a vessel for the Beast. One of the two swords on his back was the legendary blade Godkiller which most certainly didn’t live up to the name. It only made a god bleed. Grasscutter, the other sword on his back, had killed a god before.
An unassuming orb rolled to his side and as it exploded the demonic corruption was ripped from his body killing him in the process.
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I couldn’t help but gloat over his corpse. “I’m planning to fuck up Trigon and you think an incomplete vessel can stand against the weapons I’m making to defeat him?” That bomb was so powerful the crack was blown open and even injured the named arch demon inside. I grabbed the two swords and ran into the miniature hell dimension.
With no fanfare, I plunged the two swords into the body of the Beast as I maniacally chuckled. What kind of moron keeps two weapons that can kill him right at the front door of his realm being protected by a normal ass man? Well, not all demons were thinkers like Mephisto. He tried to fight back but I just kept cutting into him. What a stupid way to end a stupid fight I didn’t even want in the first place.
Somehow Grasscutter absorbed some of the demonic energy in his body as it sealed a portion of his strength in itself. It regained its distinctive red-tinged glow repowering itself back up to full power. I bound Grasscutter to me and placed Godslayer into my weapon storage. Now the two legendary blades had a wielder of equal caliber wielding them…
Was that too pretentious? I mean, I was definitely not the best swordsman on the planet but these things were like owning a piece of history. Even if I just put them up on the wall as decorations they’d be more useful than whatever the fuck the Hand was doing with them. I sighed as I was finally done with this ninja business.
Over the next week, I rolled out my plans on how to change the Hand from a criminal organization into a cultivator MLM company. They would become my salesman and try to hire other salesmen to get increased discounted prices on the pills. The entire business went from training and being misled by their peers to selling advanced orders of the chi pills… And also misleading each other to try and get ahead.
They had to join the Hand to get the discount on the pills and while ten percent doesn’t sound like much the pills that would allow someone to begin gathering chi cost ten thousand dollars. Even just joining the purchase of the first pills would have them signing a contract. Almost no one would read the entire contract but if they did they’d see that they would offer chi and prayers up to me whenever they tried to gather chi.
Most would take it as a joke more than a magically binding contract but I wanted to see if I could start gaining divinity to play with. There just wasn’t enough known about it and even though it was a magic source its secrets were still hidden from me. I think if I were to break into divinity though I would learn enough to make myself a powerful god in just a few years if I wanted to. While I could take it or leave it, the idea itself was pretty neat.
It was only a very small portion of chi, about one percent of what they would gather. Even then most would be burned up just making it to me but at the same time, it was millions of people doing it. In the next few days once the pills roll out for early testing, I would see how effective it was on a micro-scale before it was ready to be launched as a product.
Comments
ya_smerti
Oh Kusanagi-no-Tsurugi. Nice.
