Deadly Stories
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IM/DC Chapter 98
🕑 Added 2024-05-15 01:09:49 +0000 UTCWe finished dressing and slowly walked towards the park. I would rather not have my secret getaway fuck pad destroyed because they were upset they were losing. I hope they were watching me as I unfurled a big blanket and started setting up the picnic I had prepared. Eh, we were going to need to eat anyway. We might as well make the most of needing to leave the house.
We were sitting on our blanket as I fed Carol before the first wave of ninjas attacked us. Taking them out and sitting back down we were greeted with the second wave. Then before we could even turn around greeted by the third wave. Waves became a flood of ninjas as I made a game out of breaking the same leg on all that I fought against.
So they just had a thousand ninjas waiting around nearby in case something went wrong. What the actual fuck. I called out. “What the fuck, are you guys ants? You guys don’t have anything better to do than wait around for me?” As if to spite me even more continued to show up. I really regret having Carol here now. I wish I could just outright kill these men for making the mistake of fighting against me.
We fought for eight hours straight. There were piles of crying ninjas as Carol began breaking their legs in the same spot as well. This couldn’t be cost-effective. We had to take down over five thousand ninjas. They couldn’t have more than twice that amount in the city. As if to prove me wrong another wave of mindless ninjas appear.
I call out. “Yo, I’m getting bored of this. I’m going to take this phone here. You can ask him for his number to talk to me, I’ll be hiding in SHIELD until this shitstorm blows over.” I made a portal and teleported me and Carol out of that mess. I still couldn’t wrap my head around it. Was that their entire plan? Just throw numbers at me for a reason I didn’t even know. What the hell did they want?
I yawned as I scratched my back. I walked over to the intercom before clicking it on. It would ping up to Director Carter’s secretary. “Yo Bab’s. If some ninjas show up, give me a call. I’ll go deal with them. They’re attacking me for some reason… I don’t know why. I’m gonna get some sleep until then.”
I turned back towards Carol and gave her a big smile before trying to be cheerful. “Well, sorry about the awful first date. The fights normally happen before the sex, not during.” She walked over and put a piece of paper in my pants pocket. She made sure to take her time as her hand explored. With the same playful smirk that was always on my face, she gave me bedroom eyes before saying. “Let’s pick back up where we left off after you get this thing sorted out.”
I watched her walk out of the room before I cursed loudly to myself. “Fucking cock blocking ninjas.” The few magical scientists still awake in the main room look over at me. I say loud enough for everyone to hear. “Sorry about that. It’s just ninjas showed up to kidnap me right as I was in the middle of having sex… I guess most of the time I’m having sex so it was more likely to happen than not but still!”
About four hours of sleep later I finally got the phone call. Without stating anything else the guy on the phone said. “Meet back at the park.” With that, the phone hung up. God, I hate the mysterious aura they’re trying to exude. I am one of the hundred, I know who the leaders are and how they got beat by the frat bro CEO Danny Rand.
The moment I teleport in a hundred flying shurikens come in my direction also several hundred bullets. The main question is, how did they know exactly where I would teleport? The answer is they didn’t. The entire park was just filled end to end with ninjas. Like two hundred and fifty thousand ninjas.
I teleported away and called the guy back. “That was your plan? Are you fucking stupid?” The man didn’t speak for a few seconds before asking. “Can you come back to the park?” I could only sit in complete bewildered silence. I knew cultivators were stupid compared to other people but this is insane. “Can you put someone with a brain on the phone? You clearly have brain damage and I don’t understand your plan.”
Some shuffling before a woman spoke. “Come back I promise we won't fire on you.” I let her speak as I worked on a tracking spell. “We only want to work together. Yada yada yada. Blah blah blah. Charlie Brown adult talking. Static noise. A monkey aggressively screeching. Benedict Cumberbatch saying penguins incorrectly. Loud moaning from Cassandra.”
I shifted through my different baffles as I didn’t listen to the dogshit she was saying. I knew she just wanted to lure me back to an ambush. I portaled into a building overlooking the park. A dozen or so higher-ups sat around looking into the park all turned towards me. One by one I telekinetically lifted them up and crushed their throats.
I couldn’t recognize any of them. Sure they had a paltry amount of plot armor but it was almost negligible. The only one I thought I knew would have been a whip-wielding woman named Whiplash I think. No, probably a relative or something, definitely not the original. She wasn’t attractive so I squashed her head as well. It was hard to tell if these guys were special. In the comics, they’d have insane costumes that made them stick out instead of a white shirt and jeans redheaded man or a mousey girl in a red top and biker shorts.
The info I was absorbing from them was pretty good. I know the leader was that headless guy right there and that these guys overlooking what was happening was the second circle of the hand. We’re dealing with Xianxia logic now. They have to kill a potential threat no matter if they could have made a deal with them. They tried overwhelming me with numbers.
I killed the second circle guys and found another convoluted ranking system. Now I need to keep killing my way up the circles(not related to the magic circles) I did get some good info from them at least. The way they use chi is really, really funny. They thought the only way to gain chi was through fighting.
Unless you had insane mental control you would only be able to gather chi at a thousandth the rate of actually meditating. These were still fodder though so they were probably taught incorrectly on purpose to cripple their growth. Xianxia's rules were to keep everything secret, backstab everyone you get the chance to, and make the dumbest decisions possible every time. So far they’re going along perfectly with the playbook.
