Deadly Stories
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IM/DC Chapter 18
🕑 Added 2024-03-26 04:40:00 +0000 UTCHawkeye got to the real reason he was sent here. He pulled out a note and handed it to me. I unfolded it and looked at the list of names on here.
Peter Parker, Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent….
The list contained many of the superheroes and villains. I thought I knew what this was but asked anyway. “This is a list of people you want to know more information on, correct?” Hawkeye nodded in confirmation. The list had over fifty people on it. “What do I get for each person.”
“You’ll get twenty thousand for information on everyone you recognize on this list. We need a detailed report on at least half for you to get the entire am-.” I cut him off. “Pass. Anything else?”
He looked at me again before stating. “Any information you provide on any you’ll be given five hundred and any of the top ten on the list you’ll be give a thous-.” I cut him off again. “Pass.” Sighing frustratedly he asked. “What do you want from our partnership?” I looked down at my drink before finishing it in one go.
“I want a one million dollar salary as a consultant.” Hawkeye just gulped as he pulled out his phone and talked to someone on the other end. In the next few minutes Nick Fury entered and sat down on my couch across from me. He tried to play the silent game again but I wasn’t having it this time no matter how long it took I wasn’t going to be the first to speak.
“We can’t do a million a year. Frankly speaking you’re not worth it.” I kind of half expected him to go this route so I decided to cut the legs out from any of those arguments. “I know what happened to Brainiac and Ultron. I know about fifty names you didn’t write down and I can explain why your readings about five years ago were going crazy. I know that SHIELD makes 1.5 billion annually and you can afford higher people at my price and they’re far less valuable than me. I’m offering this deal to you because shopping around for a better price isn’t worth my time.”
I breathed in before speaking the word. “Thgil!” I held my hand out while imagining a light turning on. A ball of light appeared in my hand and I continued my pitch. “I know more about magic and the evolution of humanity than anyone else. You spend eight hundred million on upkeep for the helicarrier and quinjets. Magic can literally teleport people.”
I smirked before continuing. “Also you can keep tabs on me more easily so you can show up and collect my semen you little jizz goblin.” With that Clint Barton spat out a mouthful of beer and started coughing as it went down the wrong pipe. I think about it more and decide to take a risk.
“If I was the director I would set twenty million for the magics department for SHIELD, then you could just pay me out of that.” Becoming the head of a new division would draw a gigantic target on my head to all the double agents. Nick looked at me with a stern expression before asking. “Why do you have a problem with me?”
“During the alien invasion from the race of aliens that wiped out the martians you specifically held back SHIELD from helping with the construct created near New York. Just about every year New York is attacked by a large-scale threat and every single time you do nothing to help.”
I sighed because I knew what I was about to say would torpedo my chances of ever working for SHIELD. “To be frank Sir you’re a massive coward and you shouldn’t be running SHIELD. Peggy would be very upset about what you’ve done with SHIELD and if you do end up hiring me I’ll do my god’s honest best to get someone more competent to replace you.”
Once again I’m over sharing but to be honest meeting SHIELD has been a disappointment. It was like meeting a movie star you looked up to and realized they were a jaded dickhead.
“In every world ending event when you could have helped them win you just disappear. You run away and go hide in one of your bunkers. It was funny in the comics but looking at it from a world I live in now you sacrifice a key pivotal role as one of the leaders of a branch of the military to run away and hide. I bet the first thing you thought of when I took out that HYDRA agent was that you could still beat me in a fight.”
We sat in silence and I really thought about everything that’s happened. Nick Fury was never this stubborn and even in the comics I thought something was off. “I have to ask a fairly probing question. Are you a skrull?”
