citationpod patreon

October Bonus: My Immortal

🕑 Added 2022-10-26 20:21:44 +0000 UTC

Comments

WelcomeToFalse

The bloody cereal! “1%! Ahahah. 2%! Ahahah…”

Sunday Morning Hotdog

StOp fLaMinG U pReP!

Norabobora

I don’t particularly like citation needed. I pay for the membership exclusively to listen to the my immortal bonuses, at least once a week. Please do more shitty fan fictions!

Jasamnajbolja

This alone was worth the money boys!

Mark Siefert

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”

Matthew Herr

You guys HAVE to do more of this! So funny!

Spacecat

Okay, min 10 gets funny

Spacecat

5 minutes in and my second hand embarrassment is almost too much to keep listening. Yeah sure i wrote that bad when i was 16. Yes i wrote fanfiction. But at least i wasn’t stupid enough to publish it. Probably because I didn’t have my own computer.

One I'd Nick

There is something so beautiful about other people reading terrible prose that makes me so happy. I will give more money to listen to Tom read the next 2 chapters so I can hear him mutter "Jesus fucking christ" before he starts every sentence.

Nicolette

I think this is gonna need to be another podcast. Noah doesn’t need sleep! Tom can spend time with his family when he retires! I need this like you need more of my money

Nicolette

Two votes

James F

When do we get the rest

Tanya Walters

Honestly this was worth subscribing for. Gonna have to keep this subscription active forever

Alex Watts

I truly hope that we get to hear Eli read the entirety of this masterpiece, but afterwards might I recommend Steven Segal's self-insert deep state conspiracy First Nations-appropriating masterpiece The Way of the Shadow Wolves?

Els

This episode was amazing. Have you seen the videos Strange Aeons has done on My Immortal? Cause it's... interesting: https://youtu.be/0JodBp-r9jM

Hard in Hightown

I needed this

Rob Johnson

This was ridiculously funny.

Michelle C

I hate you for this. 😩😂

that 9 fingered lesbian

ulysses? more like ellipses. i’ll see myself out.

Nathaniel Arnold

I'm crying (blood, obvs) right now at Tom having to experience...............this.

Square root of negative one

Hey, it’s been 4 days, will you ever finish that ellipses

Jay

Thank you for that, I laughed so hard I had to pull the car over and then wait to hear the rest until I got home so I wouldn’t crash. Or wee. Or both. If you aren’t already working on a new Terrible Fan Fic side podcast then we’re clearly not flamming yous guys hard enough. Don’t be preps…….. we need more please Motherfuckers.

Trina Cairns

That was AMAZING. It was worth four years (and counting!) of my Patreon subscription just for this! ❤️🌹🥳😅 Could barely hear your laughter over the top of mine until I stopped breathing, crying so hard!

Dan Duivel

I am so glad I finally joined the Patreon for this show. I'm only 15 minutes into the episode & I'm cry-laughing so fucking hard!

Reluctant Skeptic

I would be insanely happy to hear you guys comment on Ulysses.

DrgDragon

My boss asked me if I was ok..... Apparently me laughing so laughily at work had him concerned. I look forward to the next 10 chapters

Meghan Florip

My immortal is a timeless masterpiece. I’m so happy you guys are now experiencing it too. Please do more. Ignore the flammers

Mara

I was all in for My Immortal, but I’m way more in for the guys falling in love with this bizarre garbage gem. Please do more.

Insertrandomquotehere

So I've done bad fanfic reading panels at conventions (something I'm now normally against as as if people want to write something its not really harming anyone and why not just let them have their fun escapism or fantasy, but by the same token if you put it out there...) But yeah, my immortal was always the one that takes the cake for WTF. Whether its the clothing descriptions (we once tried to look up how many of her described items of clothing actually exist, quite a few), Ebony's "earing angsto'meter" (25 earings - she's gonna blow), "we've secretly replaced Ebony's sex ed textbook with the assembly instructions for ikea bookcase, lets see if she notices" level sex scenes, Her yelling Crookshanks at Voldemort to stop him (in HP universe, Crookshanks is Hermione's cat), and of course the great spelling and overall nonsensicalness of it Consider this my positive REvow for you to continue

That Julia Person

I listened to this on my evening walk. So now everyone in my city thinks I'm an unhinged person who laughs maniacally at things the voices in my head say to me.

Square root of negative one

I almost want to read the rest of this, and I hate myself for it

Ty Stephens

DO MORE YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!.............. -Dumbledore

Grandy

I cried multiple times and spewed food all over the table. I should have known better than to eat.

Matty B

Last Episode of PiaT pods, it was Eli all along.

cadavermouse

Alright, this was worth the price of all the admissions! Should be used for clincal depression...will be more effective than all the drugs in a flying Mercedes.

Else Black

I laughed so laughily at this It’s my new hyperfixation

Patricia Lucas

This is the best effing thing I've ever heard - I'm counting ellipses until the next part!

Shawn Morris

I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who was laughing laughilly at this episode. 🤣

Jess Donovan

If you guys never did a bonus episode for anything anywhere ever again, this would make up for it.

Jay Voigt

This was the most wonderful morning ever!

Karin Parker

This was definitely worth becoming a patron! I am still laughing, and I finished listening 5 minutes ago 🤣

IncaLaddr

This. This is the content I pay for. Bravo guys! I've know of the existence of this fanfic for a long time but still, getting to hear it for the first time is... Wow 😂

outaspaceman

Thanks to the original show, I surprised some young persons by recognising they were referencing MI .. I’m now a cool old person..!! (They said so, it must be true)

Square root of negative one

Also, are we SURE Eli didn’t write this?

Square root of negative one

The notes before each chapter make this so much better

cadavermouse

That was about as far as I got before I started chuckling. By the end I was laughing and gasping for air................ much like Eli's pug.

Lime Green Morpheus

When I was a teenager I was a very big fan of Harry Potter and My Chemical Romance while also being slightly goth and suffering from crippling anxiety and depression, but honestly I could never have made up this elaborate dumpster-fire monstrosity. This episode was absolutely hysterical and I definitely looked crazy while cracking up in my car.

Tammy DeWael

This may be the funniest thing I’ve ever heard read on a podcast. It’s been a lousy few days and this definitely brightened the mood.

Miles Greene

I tried listening to this while driving and I had to turn it off because I was weeping with laughter and couldn't see the road. Bravo!

David Zak

This is the funniest thing I've ever listened to on a podcast.

TenaciousB

Screaming. Absolutely screaming. Please, please let there be more of these. I laughed so hard my face hurt. I needed this so much today. Thank you from the bottom of my cold dead heart.

Matthew Maxon

God damn it! I sprayed coffee on dashboard again! I had to pull over from laughing so hard!

cadavermouse

Okay, I'm starting to laugh but this is still excruciating.

cadavermouse

Oh my god please stop.

Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-burstein-von-knacker-horowitz-aucher Hautkopft of Ulm

I love this so much....I can't wait for the next 10 chapters.

candice cole

I’m almost certain Robbie Coltrane got an advance copy of this episode and faked his death in order to avoid being Cameo’d and therefore in anyway associated with this fanfic.

String Bass Theory

I’ll admit, I’m invested in it. No flams from me

Unofficial_Opinion

Infinitely better than the Holy Babble

Poogan

This is the BEEEEEEEEST. GAM and vulgarity for charity have prepared you well for this moment.

Nora

This is painful. I'm five minutes in and this is so fucking painful. This might be the first Citation Needed episode I can't finish.

Pterrorsaurus hex

So was this written a few weeks ago, or has Eli not heard the news of Robbie Coltrane? Because I'm pretty certain the man is no longer on Cameo.

Mama Llaga

I genuinely thought you couldn’t top the Frank Dux article, but your reading of “My Immortal” shattered my expectations. I laughed so hard I nearly came. On account of being “Dumbledored”, my new preferred euphemism for being edged, I wish to offer a suggestion for the next bonus episode so that I may finish. “The Eye of Argon” is such a badly-written heroic fantasy novella, readers are left feeling the author, Jim Theis, had access to three thesauri and no dictionaries when writing it. I was introduced to The Eye at a sci-fi convention where a copy was passed around the room and read aloud, one paragraph at a time. You’re out if you break either of the following rules; 1) you have to read it as written, warts & all, and 2) you can’t laugh, snicker, chortle, scoff, or giggle. Let me know if you need help finding a copy… https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Eye_of_Argon

William Evan Barnes

Oh my god, more of this please! This had me cry-laughing. Also, I won't stop flamming da podcast until you do more of this, you mother fuckers!

MouthStache

Welp....................................................... Now I need a spin off podcast. "Gawd Awful Fan Fics".

Julie LaVoice

I made the mistake of trying to take a drink while listening to this episode. It did not go well. If there is more terrible fan fic that Eli will dramatically read for us, I am here for it.