roarke
patreon
about art and trauma
🕑 Added 2025-07-06 19:39:46 +0000 UTC(trigger warning for grooming/CSA)
This is very difficult for me to post, but I feel that I have to speak up about what I'm going through in order to continue to work as an artist and to share my work online. I have been struggling with PTSD, as I've mentioned here before, and after beginning to write down my experiences it's opened the floodgates of all these repressed memories and things that I was completely dissociated from.
The way I started out making explicit art for commissions was through being groomed at a young age. There was one person in particular who directly pushed me into making explicit commissions, but due to the circumstances of my home life and the PTSD I was already dealing with at that time, there were multiple other people who led me down a dark path of breaking down my own boundaries to where there were simply none left.
I have written a blog post offsite about these things that I'm struggling with. I hope that it helps contextualize what I'm talking about, but please only read if you are in a safe enough mental space to handle it.
https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1724550
My hope is that sharing this experience with people who enjoy my work will help me regain a sense of control and safety over my own life. Healing will take time, but the bottom line is that I have a desire to create, despite this. My art isn't going anywhere, but I may be slow as I try to heal and get to a more safe place mentally, especially when it comes to explicit artwork. I will continue to share as much as I can, when I'm able.
Thank you for supporting me. 💜
Comments
TheMineKnight
I, for one, can only say that no matter what you do, no matter how you choose to move forward, no matter how you choose to heal, we will be here for you. Your art captures such beauty, such joy... and no matter how it began, you get to choose how it continues. I hope that you can take full ownership for your art once more, and find that same joy and happiness in making it that you already depict. I cannot possibly imagine what you've gone through, what you have been going through, and what you still go through on a day-to-day basis, but I am glad that you finally seem to feel safe and secure enough to share your struggles. Good luck on your journey to healing, safety, stability and happiness... I will be rooting for you every step of the way.
patch-of-shore (Damien)
*hugs* While I'm very thrilled we get to enjoy your art both of the spicy and not so spicy varieties, I'm sorry the start of it was bad for you :( You've got this, though, and I feel pretty confident saying a lot of us got you, too <3
