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FML DIY #9 RESULTS! Time to vote!!
🕑 Added 2021-08-21 19:21:37 +0000 UTCVote on YouTube til September 1st. https://www.youtube.com/c/NotebookMovies/community
Stinking Robbers RELOADED: A Not-So Quiet Place By TrillBill
Today, after a year of fighting with my ex over property he stole from me. I decided to take matters into my own hands... and break into his house. Don't worry, I'll make it look like a burglary so he'll never be the wiser. Once inside however, I couldn't find a single damn thing of mine! I was about to abort the mission, when the Burrito Barn Breakfast came calling. So, fine. I'll leave him a big turd instead. What's he gonna do? Have it tested for DNA? (laughs) But before I could release the demons within, I heard my ex-boyfriend come home!! Not wanting to get caught literally with my pants down, I decided to clinch my cheeks and hold it til I could find my way out of his house. I managed to somehow avoid him as he moved around the house. Only to end up in his closet, stinking up the room! I could barely hold on a second longer when he discovered me and said “I knew it was you. I recognized that smell anywhere. Breakfast fish sausage burrito?” Busted by own butt....FML
ENDING: He's talking to her at the front door.
EX: I dunno why you keep thinking I have your stuff! We didn't date long enough for me to steal anything from you.
AMELIA: Wait, you're Gregg Bartlett right?
EX: No, Gregg Williams.
AMELIA: ohhhh shit. I knew I should have put last names in my contacts.
EX: Oh, so you broke into my house for nothing now?
AMELIA: yeah (laughs) Hey....uhh, you might not want to look in your sock drawer. Ya know the one in the closet. In fact you should throw it away along with all the contents. Yeah, okay well bye!
She walks away.
Cut To: Him opening his sock drawer and screaming
The Stowaway Inspired by Doggie Toilet by Datguy 386
Today, my dog stole my lunch from the Burrito Barn. Turns out, its not made for canine consumption either, because I found happy little accidents all over my house. But I was not gonna let it ruin my day. I have a date tonight with this guy I've liked for literal years. I was very forward with him and sent him ALL the right signals, but he seemed uninterested and...I might be overthinking this, but he seemed repulsed and didn't want to touch me. When we arrived back at his car, he didn't want me to to get in. Even Suggesting I get an uber?! That's it! I called him out on his shit! He pointed out that I had poop....ALL OVER the back of my shorts...I immediately pulled them off apologized and tried explaining my dog and he pointed out “You didn't wear any underwear today, I see.”.....FML
Gas n' Go by MrViscom78
Today, I was running late for work. My drunk ass must have forgotten to set my alarm last night. So, I got dressed and out the door in record time. For breakfast, I stopped at the local Gas N' Go and grabbed a coffee with a reheated Breakfast Burrito Barn Brand Burrito Wrap. Prepaid for gas and made it to work with a minute to spare!! WAIT! I forgot to fill up my gas tank!!....FML
ENDING: She pulls up to the pump to find someone else pumping gas at her pump. She runs up to them and says;
Amelia: Hey, excuse me, I was already pumping there.
Customer: There was no one here when I pulled up.
Amelia: Well, I know, but I had prepaid and then forgot to fill up. Can you believe that? (laughs)
Customer: Actually, I can't. I'm more likely to believe that I'm the 100,000thcustomer and just got Eleven Dollars and eleven cents in free gas as my reward.
Customer gets in the car. Amelia mumbles in anger.
Amelia: I was trying to get 11.11 for luck....Damn it.
