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Employee of the Month (8/20)
🕑 Added 2021-08-13 13:35:33 +0000 UTCHordak’s sanctum was a… not good place to be. For anyone, Horde or otherwise, and particularly not a good place for the absolute lowest step on the totem pole in the Horde. And yet, Kyle was nowhere else but standing at the threshold of the sanctum, summoned there with no explanation, the looks on Rogelio and Lonnie’s faces making it clear they not only didn’t know anything more than he did… but they also knew that it was very much not a good thing.
But being late to Hordak’s sanctum seemed like the one thing that would make being there worse, so, mustering whatever reserves of courage he believed he might have and trying not to whimper too loudly, Kyle stepped through the doors and hoped for the best… or at least, the not-worst. A not-worse that was immediately achieved as Hordak was focused on welding something and not paying attention to him! Score!
...or at least, a temporary not-worse. Because now Kyle had to get Hordak’s attention, and...
Suddenly, Shadow Weaver’s voice broke from behind him, declaring, “His name is ‘Kyle’ and he displayed tremendous magical potential… until we calibrated the scan.”
As Kyle whirled in surprise he saw that Catra and Adora’s terrifying, treasonous mom wasn’t there. It was just… that really weird winged gremlin with the tail that was… Hordak’s son? Lonnie said a girl in Force Captain Octavia’s squad once woke up in the middle of the night to find that thing staring at her from the ceiling, but all Kyle could really think about was how creepy it was to hear Shadow Weaver’s voice-
“Do you have a reason for being here, Kyle?”
Oh yes, Hordak. The much more terrifying presence in the room.
“Sir! No, sir! I- I mean, yes, sir! I was told to, uh, told to be here and report for further instructions from, um, you, uh, sir...”
With every word spilling from his lips, Kyle’s confidence in the message he’d received dropped lower and lower. Were bottom rank grunts like him ever sent to meet with the leader of the Horde with no explanation other than a text saying to go there? But… but the guards let him through and- oh who was he kidding, he was so dead, so very dead and-
“Ah, yes,” Hordak nodded as Kyle’s heart—like a fool—dared to hope. “With recent issues with… personnel, Force Captain Catra has devised an initiative to promote loyalty within the ranks.”
“Ohh...” Kyle nodded, mostly thinking about not being dead, “Because Entra-”
Red eyes narrowed into slits and if they could shoot lasers, Kyle was not finding out as he shut up as fast as humanly possible to not bring up the Horde’s latest high-ranked defector. And also, he shouldn’t mention the time the universe got… whatever happened to that universe they all briefly remembered living in. Or… actually, he shouldn’t mention anything. Ever. At all. Just smile and look attentive and survive this meeting.
And fortunately, Hordak continued, without any eye lasers. “Catra has proposed a system of recognizing outstanding contributions to the Horde through a program we have titled, ‘Employee of the Month.’ You, Kyle, have been recommended to be that employee. For this month.”
Kyle just stared. For a good long while. Even as his mind was dimly aware he had to say something, he wasn’t… could he turn this down? As in, could he actually say, “no” to this, or would his self-preservation kick in if he tried? But could he… could he believe that he was somehow more deserving than… well, everyone. Lonnie, Rogelio, that busted stun rod they were using to prop up the nightstand Rogelio leaned on too heavily, there was not a shortage of people who contributed more than him to the Horde’s success.
But… was he going to tell Hordak that?
“Th-thank you, sir!” some instinct of his training said for him.
“Very good,” Hordak nodded, turning back to his… whatever it was he was building in here. “Report to Force Captain Catra to receive instructions on her plan to shore up the defense of...” he glanced at a data pad, his eyes narrowing, “Gallenia. It’s an outpost built on a seized town south of Plumeria.”
“G-Gallenia, sir?” Kyle asked, like an idiot. He knew about Gallenia. He’d heard that the trees came alive at a Princess’s command and sacked the entire base. He’d heard she devoured men whole.
Hordak nodded. “Yes, the previous garrison was,” he glanced at his datapad again, “‘devoured by woods…’ Well, whatever that meant, I want it held to continue pressuring Plumeria from the south. They’ve been… distressingly effective in repulsing our attacks, and I expect you to fortify our position-”
“Y-you want me?”
Hordak looked up from his datapad with a look that could nearly kill. Might actually cross that line, from the way Kyle’s heart feared to even beat in his presence. Hordak’s eyes cut a path right through him, rendering eye lasers wholly superfluous… except if he did have them, they probably hurt a lot more.
But Hordak mercifully broke the silence. “I will only tell you this once, and I will not hear it repeated to anyone. But you, you were born on this planet. You do not understand the world you truly live in. But I do. I know what it means that my enemies here are a loose collection of Princesses. I know that the most successful offensive action I have launched against those Princesses in the past years was at a Ball. A Ball that my agents were personally invited to. This is… this is not the kind of conquest I was created for.”
He turned away, his fists clenching as Kyle reminded himself he needed to breathe while Hordak forgot he was there to focus on his monologue.
“I fought the Uncelorads on the ice sheets of Hashtuk,” he continued, as though those words meant anything to anyone here, “Masters of war-sleds, drawn by great ice worms and bristling with weaponry! I still remember my final duel with Anthalak the Bold, the two of us facing off atop my War-Citadel, a true final battle, one worthy of remembering! Shirtless, bare-knuckle boxing, no technology, no armies, just two men caught in the immortal struggle that defines...”
His words began to trail off, a sign that Kyle had learned meant he had already screwed up without realizing it. Something emphasized as Hordak’s eyes narrowed into red slits—why was their side the one run by a guy with glowing red eyes!—and he growled, “Am I boring you, trainee?”
“N-no sir!” Kyle shot out. He may be a failure in every regard as a soldier, but he knew to give the correct answer to a question like that. “Report to Force Captain Catra, hold Gallenia against the Princesses, and… f-fight a man with my shirt off?”
Hordak slammed his fists against the table, causing Kyle’s legs to utterly fail him as Hordak bellowed, “DO YOU BELIEVE THIS IS A JOKE?”
“N-no, sir, I-”
“BECAUSE YOUR WORLD IS!” he raged, hurling his fist into the wall before turning to glare at Kyle. “My second in command is named Catra. She happens to be a Cat woman. This is the world I find myself in.”
“Well, uh,” Kyle idiotically cut in, “your name is ‘Hordak’ and you run the Horde, so-”
“I KNOW WHAT MY NAME IS!” Hordak roared with a voice that reminded Kyle that he had yet to discover the limits of terror he could feel in this lifetime. But then a device began to beep and Kyle realized he was not going to be killed today as Hordak swore under his breath and turned back to his work. “You have your orders,” he growled, “so get out of my sight. And… congratulations on your selection as Employee of the Month.”
Kyle could not leave the Sanctum fast enough, practically scrabbling across the floor on all fours, until he reached the door… and then did something very stupid.
“Is this… is this a reward? Or… am I being punished?” Kyle asked, feeling his stomach wildly disagree with his choice to remain at the door to ask a question.
Hordak just stared back at him, impassively. “I suspect we will both find out,” he said, before turning back to his work.
LINE BREAK KYLE
Kyle had been in bad situations before… in fact, most of his time in the Horde had been nothing but bad situations. But! He had people who had his back! Like Rogelio, and Lonnie, and… well, hopefully Catra? But as he headed from Hordak’s Sanctum to Catra’s quarters, he suddenly began to wonder if he wasn’t heading from one bad situation to another. And also… how was he Employee of the Month? Was this a prank or… or was “being sent to Gallenia” something everyone but him knew was on the table, and so he was the only member of the Horde to not “not it?”
That… that was sounding really plausible… b-but, if it was, Rogelio would have warned him! Maybe Lonnie wouldn’t, but Rogelio… Rogelio just always had his back. They were a team, but even among teammates, Rogelio was just… he was just so super great. A-and it was just professional admiration! Nothing… well, maybe it was a-
Kyle’s thoughts were jolted right back to reality as he realized he’d almost walked past his destination. He needed to get his head in the game, pull it together! He was Employee of the Month! And… and if he didn’t pull things together, he might wind up dead, so he was very much on the clock to shape up.
Knocking on Catra’s door, however, revealed that it wasn’t properly shut and so the door creaked open as soon as his knuckle met metal. Which was bad, sneaking up on Catra was very bad, and what was even more bad was that Catra didn’t realize he was there, able to see what she was doing, looking into a mirror and…
“Hey, Adora...” Catra said into the mirror, then shook her head before trying another approach. Narrowing her eyes with malicious glee, she looked down at the mirror, imperious and sinister, as she whispered, “Hey, Adora...”
But she shook her head again, unsatisfied with this approach. Kyle thought maybe to interrupt—this could probably go on a while—but he’d almost been murdered by Hordak immediately earlier in the day, so… maybe he’d be better off just waiting?
Not that Catra could even notice him, she was so focused on the mirror as she stared into it, her eyes shifting from menace to savage delight to vengeful rage before settling on a heavy lidded look, one where Catra ran her tongue over her lips and then, in a breathy voice, exhaled, “Hey, Adora...”
“Hey Kyle!”
Of all the skills of a Horde Soldier that Kyle lacked, enduring surprises was becoming the most deeply necessary one, and that was doubly true ever since Scorpia had basically become their immediate superior.
“Look, I know we all love Catra, but you can’t just be standing in the doorway looking at her! It’s creepy, and the Horde is not about creeping! Well,” she corrected herself, “there’s some creeping in the stealth division… and I think there’s a Force Captain called Creepor who… kind of specializes in this, but that’s a mission action! When it comes to talking to each other-”
“Scorpia!” Catra’s voice interrupted the ramble, each syllable a razor sharp reminder that Kyle was very afraid of his former teammate, a fear exemplified as she added, “And you, Kyle… how much did you see?”
“Nothing!” he lied, “I just- I didn’t want to interrupt you w-with t-telling you that I’m… I’m Employee of the Month now?”
Scorpia shook her head. “Oh Kyle,” she said, the disappointment heavy in her words, “Lying is just not… you’re just not good at it, there’s no-”
“Wait. Wait.” Catra cut her off. “Employee of the… he actually did it? Did Hordak seriously name you Employee of the Month?”
Kyle looked from one terrifying woman to another before stammering out, “...Yes?”
Catra immediately doubled over in laughter. Quite literally doubled over, just laughing and laughing in a way that made it really hard for Kyle to remember why they were friends before she wiped a tear from her eye. “Ahhhh, Kyle, I had no idea he actually thought I was serious! I was just… making fun of him as he tried to, I dunno, figure out HR the way he tries to figure out everything, so I suggested making an Employee of the Month and giving it to you. I seriously didn’t think he’d do that, like, seriously didn’t think it.”
“Oooh!” Scorpia clacked her pincers together, “How’re we celebrating? We gonna get cake? Streamers? Our party planning budget is a teensy bit drained because we, uh… don’t actually have one, but come on, Catra, we gotta celebrate this!”
Catra began to shake her head, but Kyle couldn’t let the conversation get sidetracked before he got the answer to the “going to be eaten by a Princess” question. “Hey, uh, Catra, if this was just a, a prank, d-does that mean I… don’t have to go to Gallenia?”
But Catra didn’t even stop laughing as she shook her head. “Oh no, no, you’re definitely getting shipped to Gallenia, that… that place is a mess, and I don’t want to go there, so-”
“Aww, don’t fret little buddy!” Scorpia said, bringing one of her claws down hard on Kyle’s shoulder, “Hey, Catra, how about that experimental power army Hordak wanted to start field testing! We can kill two birds with one stone-”
“Can we not say kill?” Kyle asked.
In vain.
“-and have Kyle test the power armor while defending Gallenia!”
“Hmmmm,” Catra stroked her chin, “Yeah, I hear that thing’s working now and not just… shooting its pilot when its targeting matrix-”
“It WHAT?” Kyle cried.
Catra shot him a contemptuous look. “Chill, Kyle, I said it’s not doing that anymore. Just don’t stand in front of it while it’s on for too long. Anyways, yeah, Gallenia’s a tough mission. Get the power armor and let’s see if we can get some mileage out of Employee of the Month!”
“I’m on it!” Scorpia shouted, slamming her claw’s together before she raced off to get whatever it was that was going to keep Kyle from getting eaten by trees. Which brought back the question Kyle shouldn’t have asked Hordak, but really just had to, just like he had to ask it now.
“Am I… am I being punished?” Kyle asked Catra, who just shrugged in response.
LINE BREAK KYLE
Gallenia was… not the Horde’s finest outpost, that was for sure. Any thought that “devoured by the woods” was poetic license or hyperbole was firmly put to rest as he saw the thick roots and branches that still held the twisted, rusting hulks of what were once the original defensive features. A cannon’s barrel was knotted like a pretzel by the vines that entangled it, and the original perimeter wall had been literally burst open by something that only left upturned dirt as a trace. The new defenses seemed… even more paltry next to the ruins of the old one.
So he was being punished.
But Kyle wasn’t giving up! Not yet! No! Not ever! He might not be much, but… but he was a soldier of the Horde! And he had power armor! Those two things would carry the day!
Marching up to a Horde soldier who was currently loading boxes into a truck, he looked him right in the visor and said, “Soldier! I’m… Kyle,” realizing he didn’t actually have a title, other than “Employee of the Month,” which felt like… the wrong thing to say. “And I’ve been sent here from the Fright Zone to reinforce-”
“Yeah, yeah,” the soldier waved him off, “You’re here to try and keep us from running away, I got it.”
Kyle just stared in surprise. He knew he wasn’t the best of the Horde, but even he wasn’t so… utterly undisciplined. “You- you were thinking of running away?” he asked, trying to put it all together.
The soldier shook his head. “Not thinking. Doing. And if you’re all the Fright Zone’s sending… yeah, we’re hauling out. You should too.”
“What.”
“Listen—you’re from the Fright Zone, those of us on the Front have learned how to read reports like this,” he thrust his datapad into Kyle’s hands. “And if you see outposts going dark in a line without warning… it means, first of all, it’s a small force that people can’t see coming. Like, not the regular Alliance irregulars a three person force. And also, it means that they’ve got Princess support. And usually, that doesn’t mean the local Princess. When she comes around, she usually brings some local forces with her, big numbers, they show up on the scouting report. When they don’t... that’s Princess of Power territory, and their Queen, so that’s just… that’s it, man.”
“...And the third guy?” Kyle asked, trying to stay atop the information he was getting.
The soldier just shrugged. “I dunno his deal,” he admitted, “but from reports, there’s also a guy who’s generally there? Anyways, those three mean we’ve lost, so let’s just pack up what we can and then tell Force Captain Catra that She-Ra mentioned her name while she was blowing up our base so she gets distracted and won’t get as mad at us.”
He turned to grab some more gear, only for Kyle to grab him by the arm. “We- we can’t leave,” he protested, “We’re soldiers of the Horde! We’ve trained for-”
The soldier only pried him off, like one would do a particularly stubborn cat, and crouched down to stare him right in the eyes. “Listen, I’m sure you have some kind of gimmick, some crazy secret power—I’ve seen enough action to know what it means when the Fright Zone sends in a Specialist—but listen to me: at best, you are delaying the inevitable. Our best bet is to limit the damage we’re gonna take, and I say this with the knowledge that, if we stay, the two of us are the damage this base is about to take. They sent a Princess to take Gallenia last time,” he gestured to where a thick, gnarled vine still had the legs of a Bot caught in its crushing grasp, “and they’re about to send the Princess of Princesses. I’m. Leaving.”
And with that, he put the last box in the truck and headed to the cab. He gave one last glance, as if to ask, “You coming?” and all Kyle could do in response was stammer out, “I… I have power armor?”
So the soldier just got in the truck and turned the ignition. Kyle… figured it was the smart thing to do in his situation.
LINE BREAK KYLE
Alone. No backup. No… no friends. Just… a doomed fortress, a suit of power armor that was as likely to kill him as anyone else, and the inevitable threat of a Princess coming in to stomp him right into the mud. And not just any Princess. She-Ra. And the Queen of the Princesses. And some guy who- wait, wasn’t She-Ra the Queen of the Princesses? How did that work? He knew Brightmoon was the center of the Princess Alliance, but… if it was an Alliance, did that mean the Queen had any authority over the others? What made her a Queen, anyway?
A question he felt he was about to get some answers to as he heard a voice say, “I dunno, Bow, it really seems like this place is actually abandoned… it looks like they left in a hurry.”
Now was his time to shine, and even as he felt the ice-cold tendril of terror slither through his guts, Kyle proved himself a soldier of the Horde as he dashed to his power armor without a thought. It was one of Entrapta’s last projects before she defected… lot of people had been leaving, Kyle realized. Adora, Shadow Weaver, Entrapta, that guy he just talked to… but no matter! For the Horde, for the Fright Zone, for Lonnie, Catra, and especially Rogelio’s respect!
The armor itself was more of a bipedal combat vehicle than “armor,” built on Entrapta’s principles of “You can always make things bigger!” Usually, this ended poorly, but as Kyle leapt into the cockpit, he felt reassured by how much metal was encasing him as he fired it up.
A reassurance that turned to confidence as he began to operate the armor, each step thudding against the ground loud enough to shake the tools on the nearby tables. Stomping his way outward, he knew the Princesses could hear him, but he felt that he didn’t need the element of surprise to win! He could just burst forth from the hangar and-
Hey! Kyle knew the name Bow was familiar! It was that guy he met in prison, who they captured from Princess Prom! He fired an arrow that bounced harmlessly off his metal chassis as Kyle laughed with the maniacal glee of someone who was actually winning for once. Even the other two, the pink girl who was the Queen of the Princesses (apparently less fanged than intelligence reports depicted her as?) and She-Ra herself seemed taken aback by his arrival.
“Prepare yourselves!” Kyle laughed (though he knew they couldn’t hear him because he didn’t know how to turn on the armor’s loudspeaker system and Entrapta’s manual was useless), “For the might of the ALPHA CANNON!”
He raised the armor’s arm cannon to point right at She-Ra and hit the FIRE button… only to hear the loudspeaker system finally start working.
“OPERATOR NOT RECOGNIZED,” a harsh, metallic voice boomed, “USE OF PRIMARY WEAPON DISABLED.”
“It’s- it’s me! Kyle!” he yelled in vain, “Um, Trainee Kyle?” he tried as the armor didn’t respond. “From the Horde?” he added in a panic.
“OPERATOR [KYLE] IS NOT RECOGNIZED, ENTERING STANDBY MODE.”
“Wait, Kyle?”
Kyle’s eyes shot up to where She-Ra just… shrank down and lost about three feet of hair as- wait, Adora?
“You can’t be serious,” Adora groaned, “Okay guys, it’s cool, it’s just Kyle.”
It was one thing to see the other two immediately drop out of their combat posture, but to hear Adora say it was “just Kyle,” even if, yes, his power armor had deactivated on him as it announced to everyone that it wasn’t going to work—thank you for that, Entrapta—it still really hurt his feelings! Popping open the hatch, Kyle jumped down from the armor and glared at Adora… which wasn’t really his skill, so he knew it wasn’t threatening, but he wasn’t not gonna glare at her.
“You...” he growled, even though Rogelio told him he only sounded more like a puppy when he did that, “You’re She-Ra?”
The three of them stared at him in confusion, then exchanged a look before Adora finally ventured, “You… didn’t know?”
“Nobody tells me anything!” Kyle said, throwing up his hands, “All I knew was that my friend, Adora, left the Horde without telling anyone, and also, now there’s an even bigger Princess that we’re supposed to be afraid of! I didn’t think they were the same thing!”
Adora threw up her hands. “Well! A lot of things were going on, Kyle! I discovered that the Horde was evil and that I was She-Ra on basically the same day, and I’ve been spending the last few years fighting the Horde, so no, I didn’t really remember to notify you that I’m also She-Ra!”
“That’s- that’s just the point!” Kyle shot back. He could see the other two had the same expression he saw whenever Catra was on one of her Adora rants, the look of being caught up in someone else’s personal business. But Kyle wasn’t going to sit back for the sake of politeness, not in the middle of a battlefield! “You just left without telling any of us, you know, the people you grew up with, who look to you for guidance!”
That got through to her, Adora’s anger suddenly breaking as a blush of shame bloomed across her face. “It’s… I tried, I tried to tell Catra, to get her to join me, but it didn’t- it didn’t work…”
Kyle briefly felt his natural instincts as the peacemaker kick in at the sound of Adora’s regrets, but no. No, he was not letting anyone walk over him for this. He had a point here.
“Why didn’t you try to ask me to defect, huh?” he asked, marching right up to Adora’s face as he added, “You asked Catra, of course you asked Catra, but, what, me and Lonnie and Rogelio? You didn’t think, ‘Hey, maybe I should ask my other friends if they feel like defecting?’ Because, I dunno, if you asked me, maybe I would!”
“Well...” Adora asked hesitantly, “Would you defect to the Princess-”
“Well I can’t defect now!” he cried, “If you really meant it, you would have asked earlier than this! And you!” he whirled on Bow, startled to suddenly have Kyle’s finger in his face, “When you were our prisoner, you were the only person to actually listen to me in years. Because- because maybe I have some crummy friends,” he punctuated this by glaring at Adora, “but at least they don’t pretend to listen to me to garner my sympathy, only to exploit it to distract me during a jailbreak! And, yeah, saying it out loud, I now realize that that’s entirely plausible behavior from a prisoner against his guard and, yeah, I was specifically warned that you might try to do that, but it still hurts!”
Bow had nothing to say to that, which was pretty bad, because Kyle still felt like yelling at someone to vent his frustrations, but he’d basically run out of people to yell at!
“And- and I don’t know who you are!” he yelled at the Queen, “But you’re hanging out with these two, so I’m sure you’re a jerk!”
It probably would have come off as a more effective condemnation if Kyle wasn’t crying while he yelled it, but he’d been bottling up his feelings for so long and two out of three of this group had really hurt his feelings! Panting, feeling the heat in his face and the tears tracing down his cheeks, he stared at the three of them, the unstoppable force who most Horde soldiers would rather flee than fight, and just glared at them for being bad friends.
“Wow,” Bow said after a while, finally breaking the silence. “You’ve… you’ve got a lot of things you’ve been holding on for a while, don’t you...”
Kyle felt his lip quiver. He really did.
“I… I think it’d be… really awkward if we beat you up after that...” the Queen awkwardly mumbled, rubbing her neck.
“Yeah,” Adora sighed, “I mean, we have to retake Gallenia for the Alliance but… I think we have to… I don’t know if we can actually… fight you to take it…”
Kyle stared at them as their meaning suddenly broke through his anger.
“Did… did I just… win?” he asked, feeling hope, for the first time in days, hope that he’d nearly forgotten the feeling of. “Did I… Did I just beat you?”
Adora’s eyes narrowed, reminding Kyle that he hadn’t won yet as she growled, “If you rub it in-”
“No,” Bow cut her off, “Adora, look at him… he needs this.” Then he offered Kyle an encouraging smile and saluted. “Force Captain Kyle: I guess the Horde won this one.”
But before the Queen could object to that, they were all surprised by the mechanical voice from behind them bellowing. “TARGET IDENTIFIED: [KYLE]. AUTOPILOT IS ACTIVATED AND MAXIMUM FORCE IS AUTHORIZED. INITIATING TERMINATION PROTOCOLS IN 3… 2...”
And though Kyle immediately cowered behind a crate as taller Adora with really long hair tore through the powered armor with her crazy magic sword, he still felt that… that he’d actually achieved something. That he’d held Gallenia. Maybe it was a victory by bumming everyone out, but for Kyle… that was more victory than he usually got.
And he was going to savor it for-
“TARGET [KYLE] LOCATED, ACTIVATING DEATH-CANNON-MK3.”
Once those three defeated the murderous, autonomous combat armor that was trying to destroy him, of course!
