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Scales & Shadows Ch61: Sand and Sun
🕑 Added 2024-02-15 06:07:59 +0000 UTCA/N: This one's a big'un. SoW's next chapter is mostly finished, despite hangups in a couple of areas and a rather hefty fight scene. More surprisingly, the next Scales & Shadows chapter after this one is also done. I'm planning SnS -> SoW -> SnS for the next couple days. Ideally, I'll also have another SoW chapter out around this weekend, but we'll see!
I floated through the void, formless. Gone were my arms, and gone was my tail. I felt like I’d been here for an eternity, past faded memories of pain and something more. Regret wasn’t a familiar feeling, but spite… I had plenty of that. Not that I could remember why.
This wasn’t my usual dream, and the light that broke through the void burned away at me until I woke with a start—and a scream.
“Issa.”
It was Phaeliisthia’s voice.
Gritting my teeth against the pain, I hissed back a “What?”.
“Look at me.” Her voice was stern and laced with power.
I turned my head toward her, thrashing when I realized my body was bound by burning light. Well-carved ceiling beams gave way to fine silks over smooth stone walls I didn’t recognize. The room was bright enough to hurt my eyes, and that was before I saw Phaeliisthia’s glowing white eyes a finger’s width from my face.
They were narrowed in focus, neatly-trimmed brows above them bent.
I furrowed my brow right back, as my most recent memories fell back into place. “What’s going on? What happened to Sire Tyaniis?”
Phaeliisthia simply continued staring.
I hissed. “Get me out of this construct! Your magic’s got too much power—it burns!”
Phaeliisthia blinked, turning away just as her eyes grew damp. “Child… You poor thing.”
“Answer me!” I shouted, fangs clicking down.
Her voice softened, and she kept her head turned away from my gaze. “You let it in. After all these years, and all my lessons, you let it in.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Think, Issa! I know you struggle to do that sometimes, so think!” Phaeliisthia rose and faced me once more, nostrils flaring. “What did you do?”
“I don’t know!”
Phaeliisthia raised her hand, slender, clawed fingers twitching. I sucked in a breath, bracing for more pain. Instead, my former tutor let the hand drop, and the binds around me cooled—but they didn’t loosen fully.
“You are her then.” She nodded, and the gold caps on her horns flashed as they caught the light.
I blinked. “What?”
Her hand raised again, this time in a placating gesture. “You’ve… for lack of a better word widened your link. Where before the connection was a forced, incidental thing, now you have chosen to bind yourself closer to that not-quite-a-god entity that dwells in its own sad dimension. My magic was not any stronger than what has brought you comfort in the past—you are simply changed. Truthfully, such a process should have overwhelmed you—that thing should have forced its way inside and destroyed your soul in the process.”
What? When did I do that? From the moment the void flooded into our world, the night was a hazy memory—at best.
Phaeliisthia sat down next to me and I realized I was elevated above the ground. “Whether it is the blessing of Jaezotl that still holds tenuously within you—perhaps a mark of his favor—or some reason I can only grasp the coattails of, I do not know. What I do know is that you are you and not a mockery wearing your face and sifting through your memories.
“No godling would make callous demands of me while weakened, nor would they be so adamant of their ignorance. There would be bargaining and… I digress. You wish to know of your family: your sisters are fine—shaken, but fine. As are the other two who were with you.
“I do not know of your sire or those whom I did not leave the Palace with. We are in Ess’Lakzhiil, on the northern coast, and I’ve not risked leaving you to find more answers. However, I have constructs in flight to both the Grand Temple and my estate in Uzh. I must inform Zinniz of my imminent departure from the Empire, and the Jii’Ssyri of my compliance with the punishment for breaking our treaty.
“If they are not intercepted, we shall have our answers within the week.” She clapped her hands together. “There! Is that a sufficient explanation?”
“Why aren’t my sisters in here?”
“Were you even…” Phaeliisthia sighed. “Your sisters are staying in another room, though they may be out in the grounds today. I was not about to risk them if you were no longer yourself.”
“Can I—”
“I will bring them here.” Phaeliisthia raised her hand, sigils forming around it. “Issa, please do not leave this room.”
“Why?”
“Your eyes.”
A cold pit formed in my stomach. “Oh…”
“There is a mirror by your bedside. Water and dried meat as well.” She snapped her fingers and the near-burning magic vanished. “I will return shortly.”
I pulled myself up and watched her go. Her magic had burned—it wasn’t the soothing warmth I’d known. Just what had I done?
Looking around the room, I could see sheer curtains billowing over wide windows on the wall opposite the door. Salt bloomed on my tongue when I flicked it out, and I coiled myself up onto the oddly-raised bed. It was lamian-styled, and I sank gratefully into well-worn grooves covered in a light, gauzy fabric. I’d been dressed in the same fabric, in unfamiliar bright tones of orange and tan and pale blue.
After a deep breath, I shakily reached for the mirror by the bedside. Next to it was a plate piled high with simple dried meat that lent an undercurrent of spice to the smell of the ocean. Water beaded on the glaze of the pitcher next to it, and I reached for that with my other hand.
One long drink later, I set the pitcher down empty and lifted the bronze mirror to my face.
What in the world?
The emerald green of my eyes was lost in a sea of black.
Clang! The mirror had hit the floor, and I’d hardly noticed. Because I’d remembered.
When I’d left my sisters in the void to fight Anqi—that was when. Like opening a door, I’d let it in. I remembered the moment, I remembered when the shadows started to feel less like shadows and more like limbs.
The pain of my body being burned when the shadows were. The cold callousness that had invaded my mind.
I tried to reach for that moment, I tried to find the door to slam it shut again. I coiled tighter around myself, arms grabbing around one loop of my lower body and pulling my upper tightly to it as my mind whirled.
Deeper I looked, toward where I drew shadows from, toward where I slipped into dreams, toward where I hid and took refuge, toward where my sisters’ magic always guided me. I found it there, at the edge of that once-sacred space in my mind. Gilded halls and vaulted ceilings and a yawning portal to a frigid abyss.
There wasn’t a door anymore.
Eyes scrunched closed, I moved my mind towards it, and I slipped through all too easily. Inside was a new room, built like the rest. Except it wasn’t complete—columns and arches and impossibly-laid stones melted into blurred outlines which dissolved into nothing. There was no end to the room, but the abyss.
Shuddering, I pulled away, lest the presence find me. With a little effort, I slipped back into the golden warmth, then back out of my thoughts into the bed in the breezy seaside room.
Cold sweat dripped into my eyes, and my arms were slick against my scales. Muscles down low hurt from strain and I relaxed with a few deep breaths.
This is bad. What’s going to happen to me?
I tried to think about anything else, but I couldn’t get the image of Sire holding Aunt Zaiia’s arm out of my mind. Of her slipping and the pain of her scream. I saw Ussent Andriel Sunstrike terrified of me before he was swept away. Bodies piled up in my mind’s eye, and I hated that I could almost recognize some of them.
I needed to know what happened. But what of me? Would I be stable if left alone?
Would I do what Ussen Ezyna did and tear open a gash to the awful void I’d pulled myself halfway into? I hadn’t even noticed as it had seemed so natural, but I could feel acutely even the tiniest of shadows in the room. With a thought, I could slip from here to there, through the void, as easily as slithering. I could call them to me, even in the daylight—even if only for a short time.
Am I even lamian anymore?
I’d moved from staring at my hands to staring at the window by the time the door opened.
“Issa!” Kyrae and Ssiina shot forward, and I was wrapped up in a hug from behind.
I squeezed my eyes shut, still facing away. “…How long was I out?”
“Just a few more hours than Kyrae was,” Ssiina answered. “Just a long night. How do you feel?”
Her question was cautious, and I didn’t miss the pause right before it.
“Different” was all I could answer.
Kyrae hugged me tighter. “Phaeliisthia said you’re you still, Issa. She’s right, right?”
I tried to breathe in and hiccupped instead. “I… I don’t know.” My voice was a harsh whisper. “Maybe? I’m… something’s changed. I made a mistake—let something in and I don’t think I can push it back out.
“I’m scared.”I didn’t even mean to say it. The words just slipped out and I realized how hard I was shaking.
Kyrae squeezed tighter. “Issa…”
Ssiina slithered past us and threw open the curtains. “But you’re alive and well and I and Kyrae are here to protect you!”
So bright! I hissed, blinking until my eyes adjusted. Outside, squat trees waved their fronds in the breeze, and beyond waving seagrass I could see glittering blue stretching from below out toward the horizon.
I also saw Ssiina staring at me, and I watched as her mouth dropped open. “Issa, your eyes.”
I looked away. “Yeah, I know.”
Kyrae scrambled around me, but I didn’t let her see, twisting my head side to side, keeping my eyes scrunched closed.
“Issa!” she protested, grabbing one of my hands.
Immediately burning magic surged through me. Like my tail had been dipped into a too-hot bath, I jerked back and hissed. Kyrae let go, and I looked down at my hand. It was red and irritated, but it didn’t look too burned.
Unfortunately, I’d opened my eyes, and Kyrae stuck her head right in front of me. I looked into her green eyes and gulped. I’m sorry, sis, I—
“Your eyes are still pretty,” she said with a gentle smile. “Like emeralds glittering in the night sky.”
“Wha?”
“Phaeliisthia let us know what happened—at least that your curse had progressed.” She swung her other leg over to sit between two loops of my lower body and looked between me and Ssiina. “Ssiina’s just shocked, is all. I kinda thought this might happen.”
“You did?”
“You did?”
Ssiina and I spoke almost over each other: her shocked and me confused.
She spoke first. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It was just a hunch. But…” She looked me in the eyes again. “Do the sigils Phaeliisthia taught us just hurt you now?”
“Yeah.”
“Is that all they do?”
I stared down at my reddened hand, watching the skin flush back to its normal color. “Does it matter?”
Kyrae put her hand over mine. “It does.”
I pulled my hand away but she caught it. I glared down at Kyrae, but she didn’t flinch.
“It matters,” she said firmly, “because I need to know how I have to alter my constructs so they don’t hurt you.”
“I…”
“We’re not going to change anything just because your curse progressed. Even if Phaeliisthia had given up on you, we’d go to the void and bring you back.”
My vision misted over and I blinked to clear it. When I wiped the first tear away, it came back clear.
Ssiina slithered over and wrapped her arms around both of us. “So let’s enjoy the day, hm? What’s done is done, and we’ll mourn tomorrow.” She looked at me and her smile faltered. “Issa?”
“Sire…”
“What about her?” Ssiina leaned in close, and I realized that her smile had been forced, and her voice had only barely been holding steady.
“I saw Aunt Zaiia… she…hsssss.” I sucked in a breath. “I saw her coiled over Sire and then Aunt Ssyii screamed and then I passed out.”
Ssiina swallowed hard.
“That…” Kyrae started as if to fill the silence, but she needed time to find words. “She’s strong. There’s no way she didn’t make it out of there.”
I forced myself to nod. “Yeah! That’s gotta be true. We’re all here, right?” Maybe if I said it, I’d get rid of the cold pit in my stomach and the vise around my hearts.
“Did you see anything else, Issa?” Ssiina asked “What even happened?”
“Ussen Ezyna… well it was Ussen Anqi in the void, then Ussen Ezyna was the one who brought the void to the palace. Sire and Aunt Ssyii and… Aunt Zaiia were fighting her. I kept trying to help and maybe I did? Sire killed Ussen Ezyna, then it was like the void got really close and a hole opened between it and here and Zaiia touched it and it flowed into her. Sire tried to stop her and, well… that’s all I remember and it’s really fuzzy.”
“What?” Ssiina hissed. “I know she was bad, but would she really—”
“I believe she would,” Kyrae answered. “Maybe it’s because I’m an elf, but she just seemed thoroughly rotten.”
“She wasn’t so bad when I was little,” Ssiina said. “Really little…”
“People change. When Issa first got her power, she… went a little crazy with it.” Kyrae whispered.
“Really?”
My sister nodded her head at me. “Issa?”
“She’s right,” I said through a tight jaw. “I let it go to my head and I stopped listening to Kyrae and almost got us killed.”
Kyrae squeezed my hand and slid off the side of me and the bed to stand on the floor. “But you didn’t. Ssiina’s right, we should go outside. There’s nothing we can do but wait.”
I slid out of Ssiina’s hug and down from the bed. My muscles ached, but I didn’t feel any broken ribs. “Phaeliisthia’s healing worked on me at least. Let’s get out of here.” I didn’t feel like celebrating; the sunshine and welcoming breeze felt like insults. But I was scared what’d happen if I slipped too deep inside myself.
When we reached the door, it swung open and Phaeliisthia entered, closing it swiftly behind her. “I wasn’t listening in per se, but I do need to make sure you don’t leave here with your eyes as they are.”
I gulped—I’d almost forgotten. “Do I need to wear an eye covering?”
“You’d be blind in bright light if you did—more blind anyway. No, the answer is far more elegant. Do you think this elfoid form of mine is an innate talent?”
“I kinda did, yeah.”
Phaeliisthia scoffed. “Well it mostly is of my own design. And I can apply a similar treatment to your eyes.”
“Won’t it be obvious for anyone looking for sigilcraft?” Kyrae asked.
“Not if I hide it within a warding construct.”
“Someone could still pick it out if they were good enough.”
Phaeliisthia bent down and ruffled Kyrae’s hair. She froze, but relaxed when Phaeliisthia’s smile, for a brief moment, turned warm.
“The only people in the Empire who could pick apart what I can do will already know of Issa’s condition.”
Kyrae huffed, but I saw her smile through ruffled hair as she struggled it back into a semblance of order.
“Now Issa,” Phaeliisthia bent down. “Observe my finger and hold very still.”
The magic that washed over me was hot, but it didn’t penetrate, and when I was handed the mirror by a gold-taloned hand, I saw my eyes as they had been before that horrible night.
“Before we leave her, I expect you to learn this construct, or to adapt one of your own. The same goes for you, Ssiina. I won’t be around to maintain it, or to rebuild it should something go wrong.”
“Alright.” Kyrae nodded. “But… Do you know any more of what happened to Sire and our aunts?”
“Perhaps. I could not see through the influx of void, but I saw Hse’Aazh descend from the firmament into the Palace when the Jii’Hssen screamed. Not long after, the Jii’Ssyri arrived. If I had to wager a guess, I would not rule out even the impossible.”
Sire could be okay then! She has to be!
The mood in the room brightened, even the shadows. It wasn’t confirmation, but… surely Jaezotl would not leave his blessed to die in the face of a blasphemer?
“Do you have to leave the Empire?” Ssiina asked. “Couldn’t you arrange something? Surely the Jii’Ssyri knows what you did was right and—”
“I violated a treaty.” Phaeliisthia held up a hand, and I couldn’t read her expression. “I have no right of residence within the Empire any longer. Uzh will be returned to the full control of the Temple, and my estate to a successor.”
“You still have to take us to me and Ssiina’s spots.” I felt tears starting again, and I watched myself in the hand mirror. “You promised.”
“I did. But only yours is left, Issa.” She gestured to Ssiina who nodded sheepishly. “I believe your curious spirit will see you to lands abroad, and while I do not believe in fate, I do believe my reputation and mannerisms notable enough that you will not have much trouble finding me.
“Against all my expectations, I no longer feel a desire to retreat from the world. There is much to be seen, if only because I have never truly looked.” She clapped her hands. “But I believe you three were already on your way outside to get away from the cloying embrace of saccharine wholesomeness and mutual platitudes. Do not let me keep you any longer.” She swept her hands and moved to the side of the door.
As we passed, I turned around. “When do you leave?”
“I leave as soon as I have received receipt of my message to the Jii’Ssyri. If all goes well, it will be in four days’ time.”
I nodded. “I’ll miss you, Phaeliisthia. We’ll probably talk again before you leave, but, thank you.”
Phaeliisthia’s white eyes widened, and she quickly closed them, coughing into a hand. “Yes, well. I did my duty with excellence as befitting my station. Now go. Don’t let your sisters have all their fun without you.”
I grinned and spun about, racing to catch up with Ssiina and Kyrae. We wove through ornate halls, down several flights of stairs and open-air promenades, past busy servants and windswept gardens. Sand started to coat the floors, and spilled out the final arch onto a long, wide beach.
In the distance, a half-ring of cliffs surrounded us, plunging into gentle surf at the ends. The sand itself was so white my already blurry vision worsened, and I let my sisters lead me out onto its soft warmth. The heat was more a comfort than a burn against my scales, and I let myself sink down into it, swishing placidly forward.
Two figures were already coiled by the edge of the waves, and we moved through the dry sand onto the firmer, colder, wet. Honestly, I liked it a little better against my scales.
“Ussent Lyniss!” Ssiina waved. “My sister Issa’s finally up.”
Ussent Lyniss?
The two figures turned, and slithered toward us. I recognized Ussen Nistala Gyontael immediately, and I tried to offer a smile.
“Hssen Issa!” the ussent said with a broad smile. He was a small thing for a ke’lania, with a wide mouth and big, reddish-tan eyes. His sandy brown hair was kept shoulder length and like all of us, he was wearing light, almost gauzy clothing, although his matched his rock-and-sand-colored scales. “Raeni Lajiir Lyniss,” he introduced himself formally and bowed low. “It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, though I do wish the circumstances weren’t so dire.”
“Raeni Ssyri’Jiilits Issa,” I answered. “But you already know that. You can rise.” I managed to keep my voice steady, but all I could think about was saying the same thing that night, and what happened after. Sire, please be okay.
Lyniss rose. “I hope my family’s accommodations are comfortable.” He gestured around him. “Such an atmosphere I worry does not convey the most appropriate of tones.”
“It’s nice—very pretty,” I answered, which wasn’t a total lie. I’d like it a lot if I wasn’t part shadow and wondering if my Sire was okay.
“It’s uplifting!” Ssiina replied. “We shouldn’t begrudge the sun its mirth.”
Lyniss smiled, and it seemed genuine enough to me. “You are too kind.”
Ssiina ruffled his hair. “And you’re too formal! Relax a little.”
“Of course, Hssen Ssiina.”
“Just Ssiina, please.”
I glanced at Kyrae. She just gave me a half smile and a shrug. I guess Ssiina really hit it off fast with him. I guess he’s… cute?
“Hssen Issa!”
I reared back as Ussen Nistala slithered right up to me. Her warm brown eyes were wide, lower lip quivering, and she had her hands balled into fists while her tail thrashed about the sand behind her.
She looked down at the sand, shoulders quivering. “Thank Jaezotl you’re okay! When we got here y-you were really hurt—all of this is so terrible!”
“Uh… hi Ussen Nistala.” I lowered myself back down to resting height and let her grab my hand.
She frowned a little, holding it as her own hands shook. “A-are you okay? You seem distant—b-but then again I only know you from your coming of age ceremony. I suppose what I mean is that I’m happy you’re up and okay—you were really hurt when we landed here. Phaeliisthia s-sure is something isn’t she?” She swallowed. “I’m sorry if I’m too forward!”
“Uhh…” She’s really cute in the light. “Yeah, Phaeliisthia’s pretty incredible. Did you know she’s a dragon?”
Ussen Nistala giggled, and she seemed to calm down a little. “She f-flew us here, you know.”
“Oh yeah, right.”
Kyrae gave me a nudge from behind. “Oops! Sorry, slipped in the sand. Anyway, I’m going to go find a nice spot to sit.” She jogged off, leaving me with Ussen Nistala.
I looked to the other side and saw Ssiina and Ussent Lyniss slithering away along the tide line.
“Hssen Issa?” Nistala asked, tilting her head to one side in a way that did something to my hearts.
“Oh! You can just call me Issa—I’m not one for titles.” Am I blushing?
I was still really anxious about everything. Worried, scared, so much so that I wondered if I’d be sick, but… Ussen Nistala hardly knew me and she seemed to care. It was nice.
“Really?” She smiled and looked away when my eyes met hers. “You can just call me Nistala.”
“Sure!” I blinked and felt up by my eyes. “My eyes don’t look strange right now, do they?”
“Huh? No, they’re really pretty, that’s all.” She put a hand over her mouth. “Oh, my apologies, I don’t mean anything by that it’s just—”
“It’s fine. Thanks—I appreciate it.”
We coiled next to each other awkwardly for a moment, and I watched the tip of her brown-scaled tail tracing little circles in the sand. When a high-reaching wave flowed around us, perhaps a finger’s width deep, I jolted.
“Do you want to… maybe find the others or just take a slither along the beach?” I asked, words tumbling out.
“Oh! Sure! That sounds really nice.”
I hissed a soft agreement, half reached for her hand, and then pulled my arm back. Awkwardly, we moved next to each other and started down the beach the opposite direction from Ssiina and Lyniss. Kyrae, meanwhile, was piling up sand in a mound, magic shaping it into a chair amidst the surf as we walked by.
When Nistala realized what my sister was doing, she giggled. “Hssen Kyrae seems like she’s really smart.”
I nodded. “She is, yeah. Definitely the brains between us three sisters.”
“She didn’t smile until you woke up, you know.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Oh.”
We made small talk as best we could, and slowly warmed up to each other. By the end, I’d learned a little of her family, and she’d learned some of what my sisters and I had done at our glade back at Phaeliisthia’s estate.
Only the tame stuff, of course.
The rest of the day passed in a blur. And the next. All the while, anxiety started to bubble up about what had happened. The break was nice, but a monstrous tragedy had happened, and it wouldn’t do us well to ignore it.
Exactly as Phaeliisthia predicted, we received word from the Temple ahead of any mundane messengers. More than that, the message was apparently from the Jii’Ssyri herself, but I couldn’t tell that from the sigil construct shaped vaguely like a bird that had flown into Phaeliisthia’s room in the estate.
The message was, by necessity apparently, short. Just a few key words, and words I assumed would not become public knowledge quickly, or ever.
“Jii’Hssen unresponsive. Tyaniis unresponsive, gravely injured. Zaiia missing. Lassani to act as regent. Fifty-three dead.”
My hearts sank, and the few well-hidden shadows shook. Please, Jaezotl.
