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Scales & Shadows Ch45: Into the Fire
🕑 Added 2023-08-11 01:57:24 +0000 UTC“Finality is boring. Leave every door open.”
—Uru Farlight
“I guess this really is goodbye,” Ssiina said sadly, tracing her hand along one of the roots outside our old hollow.
Kyrae giggled, but there was a melancholy to the sound. “You make it sound like we’re parting from each other.”
Ssiina blushed and flicked her tongue out quickly. “Well, it’s just that this place is really important.”
I put my arms around both their shoulders. “We’ll be back! If Sire can visit here, we can too!”
“It’s not that simple, Issa.” Ssiina sighed.
“Then we’ll make it that simple. We’ll be hssen, right? And it’s not like we're directly in line for the throne.”
Kyrae shook her head, but I caught a smile behind her waving hair. “We can’t just do that, Issa… can we?”
“We can’t,” Ssiina confirmed as she slithered out toward the overlook, glancing at the turbulent water of the falls and the remains of our old makeshift dam. “You should both know the responsibilities we’ll have as hssen. Phaeliisthia’s at least mentioned most of them.”
“But—”
“And we can’t treat it as cavalierly as she’s implied.”
“Fine.” I slithered out next to her.
Kyrae took my hand and walked out between us, using me as a brace against the wind as her bare feet gripped onto the rock. “Wouldn’t it be good to be at least a little different? Use what other experiences we have in a positive way?”
“…Perhaps.” Ssiina admitted.
I coiled up, making sure to mind Kyrae’s legs, and stared out over the rolling sea of mangrove trees below us. “Do all hssen talk like us, or like Phaeliisthia? Because I think, for good or ill, our tutor’s rubbed off on at least the way I speak.”
Kyrae punched my shoulder. “You’re doing that on purpose.”
“Doing what?” I looked at her with honest confusion.
My elf sister’s eyes went wide. “Oh Jaezotl…”
“What?”
Ssiina laughed. “Nothing, Sister.”
“Oh now I really need to know what it was!”
“Shh,” Kyrae leaned against me right as Ssiina looped the end of her tail around me. “You’ll spoil the view.”
I pouted, but not for long. The sunrise that had lit the treetops with orange was moving higher into the sky. We’d need to meet with Phael to leave soon. Apparently, other factions were moving now and we couldn’t delay. My heart twisted.
“So we might not be able to come back here for a while. Hopefully we’ll be able to find a good home at the Spring of All Life, right?”
“Hopefully,” Ssiina said. “But there’ll be those who’ll seek to antagonize us. And others who’ll wish to get close just to ride our tails’ prestige.”
“We can deal with them!”
“Issa, we can’t beat them up.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
I groaned.
Kyrae took over for me, in her own way. “What about more subtle things? Not assassination, but power plays and blackmail.”
Ssiina ruffled Kyrae’s hair. “You’re already thinking like hssen, little Sister. But we should strive to set examples.”
“And that means being boring.”
“Hey,” Ssiina smiled with her fangs down. “I didn’t say we’d succeed, did I?”
I mirrored her look.
“…wish I had fangs,” Kyrae mumbled.
“Do you?”
“No, not really. I can fit in small places and use ladders.”
I hissed at her.
Kyrae hissed right back.
“Not bad, Sister!” Ssiina laughed. “It makes me sad how proper we’ll need to act.”
“But, you just said—and aren’t we not even that important for hssen?”
Ssiina uncoiled a little, and stared down at her scales and the forest below, whose green was not quite so deep. “That’s not entirely true. Aunt Ssyii has no children yet, and she may not wish for them.”
I cocked my head to one side. “So?”
Kyrae gasped. “Wait. Does that mean what I think it means?”
“Don’t keep me out of the loop!” I groused.
Ssiina put up her hands to stop us, and rose to a taller height. When she spoke, her voice had a dimly-familiar imperiousness to it. One she used sparingly these days. “Should Jii’Hssen Ssyii abdicate, the throne will fall to her next of kin, which would be our sire. However, Sire Tyaniis has refused the throne prior and is ineligible.
“Some would argue that this invalidates our own claims. However, by writ, Empress Ssyii could ensure our candidacy, in which case I am next in line for the title of Jii’Hssen.”
My jaw fell open, and for a long moment, I basked in the morning sun and simply stared at my sister. My sister who could well be Jii’Hssen, Empress, in the future. The thought hadn’t really occurred to me. People were one thing, the Jii’Ssyri and Jii’Hssen were another. They were figures—larger than life and untouchable.
But Aunt Ssyii had cracked that notion. Her familial warmth toward me, Ssiina, and Kyrae, and the way our sire talked of her had added a little bit of relatability to her larger-than-life personage. I tried to imagine Ssiina with serpentine hair and more arms, sized up far larger than I’d ever reach.
I couldn’t do it, and before I could stop myself, I snorted.
Ssiina blinked, then frowned. “Hey! I’m serious!” In that instant, her regal bearing vanished, and my sister was just my sister again.
“N-no—I believe you. I was just trying to imagine you like Aunt Ssyii and—snrk.”
“Issa,” Ssiina warned.
Kyrae giggled and popped up between us, standing on my lower body to do so. “Ssiina, try to imagine Issa like Aunt Ssyii.”
Ssiina froze, her eyes tracing up and down me. Then her face contorted like she was holding in gas and she made a choking, hissing sound.
I puffed out my cheeks and clenched my fists, but the comeback dried up in my mouth. Dimly, I felt the shadows, but in the bright of morning and through Phaeliisthia’s wards, they were weak. I did, however, remember that dream I had a year prior. The one right here in the grove that seemed like a vision of the future. Like all half-remembered dreams, the details were hazy, but I couldn’t shake the sense of déjà vu.
Nor could I see myself with snakes for hair and more arms. Could I see through my hair? Would I get dizzy? And wouldn’t the arms just get in the way?
“I-I guess I c-can’t,” Ssiina stuttered between giggles.
My cheeks heated up, and I squeezed her tail tip with mine. “Let’s just finish saying our goodbyes to this place. I want to go for a quick swim anyway.”
Ssiina tittered. “Of course, Little Sister.”
I hissed, and Kyrae took the opportunity to dart back down the rock toward the pool. “Last one in has to clean all our rooms!”
Ssiina and I shared a quick glance, then we turned, sliding all over each other as we raced for the water, sun playing off the ripples Kyrae made when she jumped in.
***
“A not-insignificant part of me wishes this won’t be the last time I deliver you three to the Emerald Palace,” Phaeliisthia rumbled. “Is everyone warm?”
My sisters and I let out a chorus of mumbled affirmatives from our pile in the center of Phaeliisthia’s saddle. She still hadn’t admitted it was a saddle, but I wasn’t going to call it anything else. I knew she wouldn’t dump me out, despite her numerous warnings.
To our sides, Phaeliisthias massive wings whooshed through the air, the tips so far out they were lost in the dense gray of the cloud we were flying through. Against a bright, glowing array of sigils, frost formed intricate patterns, and I snuggled closer to Ssiina and Kyrae. I may have lost our race earlier this morning, but Zinniz had cleaned our rooms, so I wasn’t really mad at them.
Behind us, in a neat pile, were bags and a couple wooden boxes filled with our things. I hadn’t realized how much we’d accumulated over the years. Clothing and jewelry mostly, but also tools and knives and trinkets. Somewhere in one box, packed tightly in linen above jewelry was a little green bird replica from our first Tuo’Esuzin.
For now, we were still dressed as Phaeliisthia’s students. I clutched at the hem of one sleeve nervously, running my finger along the silky-smooth, golden hem at the end. What would we be tomorrow?
Phaeliisthia was to relinquish us, at least officially. She’d promised to take us to Ssiina’s chosen spot on the way to the Spring of All Life, but beyond that…
I’ll miss the estate. I realized that I thought of Phaeliisthia’s manor and estate as home. Not in the “this feels like home” or “I could live here” sort of way, but in a deeper way I could only dimly recall feeling. My thoughts kept straying back there, to our secret glade and Phaeliisthia’s moonflower cavern. At least I’d been able to give a proper farewell to the former.
I’ll be back someday. I will.
Nothing was stopping us from visiting—not truly. But those visits would be planned, formal, and restrictive. No more long days wandering the gardens and nights spent reading in the library.
Only now was I truly starting to realize we weren’t coming home at the end of the day. Anxiety rose within me, and in the sky I had no embrace of shadows to chill my emotions.
At least I have a home to miss now. And I’m going to another one.
The thoughts were sobering. But I realized I only really knew Sire, Dyni, and Aunt Ssyii.
“Ssiina?” I asked.
She pulled herself up a little bit. “Yes?”
“What’s the Emerald Palace like?”
Her eyes brightened. “It’s big! You’ve seen that already, but all the halls are bright and polished, and there are murals and sculptures everywhere. There are ramps instead of stairs, and the rooms are a lot bigger and nicer than Phaeliisthia’s home—no offense.”
“They have no sense of taste,” the serpent dragon rumbled beneath us.
Kyrae rolled her eyes for some reason, but she kept quiet about that part. “Will I be able to navigate the ramps?”
Ssiina faltered, and her golden eyes dimmed. “We’ll work something out—I’m sure. I’m sure Sire’s already taken steps to have our wing altered.”
“You’ve mentioned this ‘wing’ before,” I said. “How big is it?”
Ssiina thought for a moment, placing a finger on her chin. “About as big as Phaeliisthia’s home, I’d say. And there are indoor baths! And all sorts of conveniences made of sigilcraft that I’m excited to figure out now that I know so much more!”
“Like what?” Kyrae asked.
Ssiina replied, and I quickly lost the conversation. Instead, I thought about living in a big beautiful palace. Just me and my sisters and our sire and Dyni and probably other servants including the two jerks I’d met three years ago.
But… who else. We’d met cousins Deziiya and Geliss. The palace had to be full of people, right?
“Ssiina?” I asked again.
“Oh, did I lose you over how to alter a merged sigil such that its output is inverted while maintaining its component hierarchy?”
“Yes, but that’s not it.”
My hssen-raised sister blinked. “Oh. Were you…”
I nodded. “I stopped paying attention a long time ago.”
Ssiina blushed, but Kyrae giggled.
I socked her in the shoulder, then turned my attention back to Ssiina. “What about the other people you know in the Emerald Palace? Or in Ess’Sylantziis? Friends to meet, enemies to avoid…”
Ssiina’s next breath hitched. “Hsss, well… You’ve met Deziiya and Geliss. Our other cousins Kysiss, Nozyn, and Jiana are a lot nicer, but I don’t know that I’d call them friends. Our other aunts and uncles besides Aunt Ssyii don’t like us because of Sire.”
“Oh,” I answered in a small voice. Does… does Ssiina not have friends?
After a moment of awkward silence, Ssiina continued, “Sire didn’t want me getting too close with other kids in the city—especially after that one time. And—”
“What happened that one time?” Kyrae interrupted.
“Oh… someone I thought was a friend only cared that I was hssen, I guess is the simplest answer. It wasn’t too bad at first, but… I don’t want to talk about it. It’s why I always hid what I was—or tried to—when I went out. I got to meet people—really meet people—that way.”
I moved around in the pile, ignoring Kyrae’s protest against the shifting scales, and hugged Ssiina. “I’m sorry, Sis. I’m not gonna let it happen again.”
“Me neither,” Ssiina replied softly. “A-anyway, inside the Palace, I mostly kept to myself I suppose? Some of the servants are nice—and this time I’m going to learn their names! But… that’s it. I don’t have any friends…”
I blinked back tears and hugged Ssiina harder. “Not true! You have me and Kyrae and you’d better believe we count! Those two jerks from yesterday prove that family isn’t a given, yeah?”
Ssiina nodded, just in time for Kyrae to join in, having wriggled free of her lamian prison.
“Issa’s right!” she added. “And I think Sire’s going to be better now, too. Plus, your debut’s coming up right after we get there! I’m sure you’ll make new friends, and Issa and I can help! Plus, there’s the Spring of All Life. We’ll be students there like under Phaeliisthia, so I’m sure you’ll be even more approachable and adorable.”
Ssiina started to mutter, “Adora—”
Kyrae coughed quickly. “Approachable! But you are cute, Ssiina.”
Our hssen-raised sister blushed. “Thank you, you two. And please, take me into the city once this storm passes. I want to experience what Ess’Sylantziis is really like!”
I nodded sharply. “For sure! And maybe we can even visit some of your new friends or take them with us!”
Ssiina’s smile shifted. “That would be wonderful.”
I blinked at her, unsure whether I was missing something. She waved my concerns away and dried her eyes.
Kyrae pushed herself up so she was completely between me and Ssiina. “And speaking of your debut… what will that be like? I know formal events from Phaeliisthia’s teachings, but I’ve not experienced one.”
Under us Phaeliisthia huffed. “There is only so much even one such as myself can do with sigilcraft, you know. Constructs of light are not conversationalists.”
I patted her through the saddle. “There, there.”
We pitched as Phaeliisthia’s wings missed a beat. “Issa…”
“I’m not sorry.”
“Impertinent little…” Phaeliisthia trailed off, and I had a good guess she wasn’t as mad as she was pretending to be.
After a moment of silence to be sure our tutor was done speaking, Ssiina cleared her throat. “There will be a formal ceremony in the south garden, near the confluence. There's a lovely hall there that I hope we’ll use. Ussen from all across the Empire will be in attendance, as well as what hssen wish to show me favor. Aunt Ssyii should be there as well.
I don’t think there’s any speeches or anything, except a short declaration by Sire. Then there’s food and music all the way into the night. We’ll also be dressed up formally for once, and I’m excited to see you two!”
“Wow…” Kyrae’s eyes sparkled.
I tilted my head to one side “For once? But what about Tuo’Antzin; didn’t we—”
Ssiina shook her head and slithered closer to me, grabbing both my hands in hers. “Certainly not, Sister. And you’re going to look gorgeous.”
While I was stunned, Kyrae came to her senses. “What about us, Sister? Won’t we be announced as adopted—or reunited?”
Ssiina blinked. “Oh! Oh yes, of course! I have no idea how that will happen. Perhaps you will enter a little after I have, and Sire and Aunt Ssyii will announce you?”
The Jii’Hssen announcing me as royalty. I knew it was likely going to happen, but that didn’t make the thought any less dizzying.
“Perhaps…” Kyrae trailed off. “I’m nervous, Sister. And more than a little afraid. What if I’m not really—”
Together, Ssiina and I took Kyrae’s hands.
“You have us,” I said.
“I’ll make sure the ceremony is wonderful for all of us,” Ssiina said in a regal voice.
Blinking away tears, Kyrae jumped against us. “I don’t want to be a—”
I cut her off. “You’re our sister. It’s as simple as that—there’s nothing else to it.”
“Thanks, Issa.”
“Nothing to thank me for. Besides, you’re cleaning my room when I get there since I had to clean ours, right?”
“Issa?”
“Hmm?”
“Don’t ruin the moment.”
Comments
asuka
goodbye phael ill miss her 😭😭
