FakeKing
patreon
I Turned My Life Into A Chuunige VN 10
🕑 Added 2025-04-26 20:45:52 +0000 UTCTime supposedly passed faster when one was having fun.
However, another way to perceive things was to say time passed slower when one was not having fun. And right now Shinsuke was not having fun at all.
Mostly because there was nothing to actually do at Illyasviel's cool mansion. She owned no TV, no computer, obviously no video game, no board game, nothing. Which probably came due her being made to fight a war, not to laze around.
Shinsuke wanted to do both though! "Can we suspend this resting session and go look for Masters?" Which is why he opened his mouth and ruined the comforting silence they had been experiencing.
He had just made his resolve about completing every heroine he desired some hours ago, he didn't want to... to rest that resolve away! Also, he felt pretty good after getting his wounds healed.
Archer let out a long sigh. "Ugh... I think I want that too." Her wounds hadn't actually yet ended.
But she had ran out of booze... either that or Illyasviel had simply decided to stop providing her booze. In the end the results were the same, Oda Nobunaga had gotten bored.
Illyasviel pouted. "Hm? Is there something wrong with my hospitality?" Neither Servant nor Master had mentioned anything about her hospitality.
But the homunculus wasn't dumb, she could read their faces pretty easily! She could see the boredom on it! And she didn't really understand why they were feeling that way either!
The answer was fairly simple of course, Illyasviel was used to this environment while they weren't. Shinsuke was used to constantly being entertained like any good modern high schooler, while Oda Nobunaga was used to constantly being entertained like any good historical overlord.
She was also used to Illyasviel's type of question. "It's nothing wrong, except you lack singers and more drinks and poets and more drinks and—"
"Stop your babbling." Illyasviel'a eye twitching. "But fine, if you two want to go out I shall accompany you as well... Night is about to fall anyways."
And that probably meant it would have fallen by the time they left the forest. At least that would be the case if they didn't use the Oda Nobunaga taxi of course, but the Servant would find it awkward to carry two people anyways.
Archer was thinking of this of course, and suddenly an idea came to her mind. "I wonder if I could my guns as magical brooms..." Then she could carry tons of people!
Illyasviel raised an eyebrow at the comment, but decided to keep her sanity. Instead she looked towards Shinsuke. "I do have to ask however, do you have any plans?"
Shinsuke shrugged. "Not in particular, although..." He squinted his eyes. "Hey, do you think it's possible to recruit a new Servant to my side?" He was thinking of Rider, naturally.
If he could get Shinji's little book... and not get tricked right afterwards this time, maybe he could get Rider permanently on his side.
"Of course not." Archer interjected. "This better not be your way of subtly complaining about me!"
Those were some funny words coming from the woman who had incentivized him to make Illyasviel into his ally after they defeated her. He supposed things were different for Servants though.
Shinsuke waved his hands, trying to calm her. "I have nothing to complain about you. You're cute, strong, smart. Basically the perfect Servant, really." He didn't hesitate to shower her in compliments.
So far Archer really had been great. So great that he even forgot she was supposed to be a hairy old man! So great that he had even tied his fate to one of Japan's most controversial historical figures.
Archer wasn't shy about receiving compliments. "Uhum, uhum, those are all very true, although... I'm the type that prefers to be called beautiful you know! Actually, most womer are!"
Oh? Shinsuke couldn't help but wonder if he had just learned a cheat code. "You're very petite though, so cute just felt more fitting." When he thought beautiful he thought Rider.
"Hah? What is that supposed to mean?"
"Seriously?" Illya interjected. She was even even more petite after all. "Actually... forget about it." She shouldn't be wasting time like these two idiots! "Why are you asking about recruiting Servants?"
Shinsuke hummed. "Because I actually think I could bring Rider to my side. But if only one Servant can be the winner at the end, then..." Then things would get complicated.
He would need to trust the coins into carrying his ass. Surely they would make some opportunity for Shinsuke to attain a happy ending as long as he really tried? He hated Visual Novels that ended in a bittersweet note.
Illya eyed his previously wounded arm. "Rider... isn't that the Servant who almost caused you harm?" Not she cared, but thinking about recruiting her sounded insane.
Shinsuke nodded. "Yeah, but I think I made a good first impression." And if he didn't, then once again he could only hope the coins would fix that.
Maybe Rider would take a cue from Rin and hit his dick with a head tackle. That would probably be nice.
Illya sighed. "Such comments make me wonder if I actually underestimated the amount of Oni Blood you carry." It wasn't about the quantity.
Well, it kind of was, but even if it was minuscule, his blood wasn't the thing guiding his actions. What was actually doing so was Shinsuke's newfound acceptance of his role in this chuuni world.
Illya continued. "That aside... Yes, you can theoretically recruit more Servants. The Holy Grail won't strike you down if you do so, but there are many complications..."
"Like for example, the fact that only Servant will receive a wish." That wasn't true of course, no Servant would receive a wish. For now Illyasviel would keep that close to her chest however.
Who knows what Oda Nobunaga would do if she found out.
"Another complication would be supplying the Servant with mana, since no human can sustain two servants. Though that could be handled if you also recruited the other Master however." Basically, if you made an alliance.
Shinsuke winced. "That would indeed be annoying..." He didn't want to partner up with Shinji of all people.
Though Illyasviel wasn't over. "Well... I suppose..." She stopped herself. Her idea was ridiculous, so there was no need to even mention it.
But Shinsuke was now curious. "You suppose what...?"
Illyasviel relented. "I suppose someone could be a Master of multiple Servants, as long as those Servants kept themselves sufficiently weakened. Honestly, with that method, one could even keep Servants after the war is over."
She continued. "Though without the support of the grail, it would probably take a very talented mage to keep even one Servant even with that method." The reason why it was a ridiculous idea was obvious.
Servants were weapons. So what would be the point of collecting multiple weapons if they would all become dull by doing so? It was better to bet all the chips on Archer.
What Illyasviel Von Einzbern did not know, was that her ridiculous idea came as a immense relief to Shinsuke.
The possibility of keeping multiple Servants around meant he actually had a chance of achieving a happy end. And while that need for talented mages was annoying, it was theoretically something he could handle.
Right now he had coined two Servants, Archer and Rider. Post war he could maybe keep Archer and then make Illyasviel keep Rider? He didn't mind them becoming normies. That actually seemed pretty good.
At first Shinsuke wanted to escape chuuni, then he embraced the chuuni, and now he was being told that there might be some normality post-chuuni. Did the world work on his favor or what?
Archer wasn't nearly as impressed however. "Who even cares about any of that stuff?" Well, Shinsuke did. "In the end only one Servant can remain standing, so any recruitment or alliance is made with the idea of eventual betray."
Archer grinned. "No that I'm against alliances or any of that, Master, but please keep what I said in mind." It was a tactic worth thinking about, but it had its flaws.
"Actually..." Illyasviel hummed. "Not all Servants need to die for the Holy Grail to be filled?"
"Huh?" Now both Shinsuke and Archer were confused. Especially Archer. She was supposed to know everything relevant to the Holy Grail War, after all.
Illyasviel elaborated. "The Holy Grail needs to be filled up to a certain amount, but not all Servants are worth the same." She put a hand on her chin. "Heracles alone... I'd say he was probably worth three Servants, maybe two or four depending if you want to be pessimistic or optimistic!"
Archer immediately raised her arms to the air. "So we can get multiple wishes!? Awesome!"
Shinsuke meanwhile, stayed silent. This sounded super good, way too good even, so he was waiting for the other shoe to drop.
"One cannot get multiple wishes." And there it was. "Once the first wish is fulfilled, the Holy Grail will most likely hibernate until the next war, storing mana for it." Illyasviel was making shit up.
The truth is that she didn't know what would happen if a Servant was spared and the war just kind of ended once the cup was filled enough for a wish. The Holy Grail War was a war where every servant... and she meant it when she said every, was supposed to die, therefore opening a door to the root. Any wish granting was just a misuse of it. Honey meant to attract flies to it.
Nobunaga clicked her tongue. "Tsk. How annoying... I wonder if a good Caster Servant could fix that..." As one would expect, now that she knew about the existence of multiple wishes, she wanted to greedily ge them.
Shinsuke didn't care though. "It doesn't matter! I'm hyped up now! So let's go and act, Archer!" As expected, the other shoe had dropped.
But it was a very small inconsequential shoe, so he didn't care much for it. He didn't need more wishes, the one to save Illya was more than enough. And as long as he could keep Rider and Archer afterwards, he would be a happy guy.
Nobunaga, seeing her Master get hyped... got hyped... "Yeah! Hell yeah!" A repeat of a previous scene!
"Wait you two... before you go making plans..." Illyasviel suddenly had a devilish idea. "I do know the information of one Master, if you want to hear it..."
It was time to start digging Shirou Emiya's grave! Even if she didn't know if he had summoned or not yet.
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Shinsuke Yamaguchi was a arrogant man. He thought of himself as the only one making true moves in the Holy Grail War. But he was wrong! Very wrong!
Rin Tohsaka was also making moves!
Her... first move. Which was summoning a Servant. So in a way, she had yet to even turn the console on and boot up this game. Maybe we should go see what Medea was doing instead—?
"Finally! It's done!" Rin Tohsaka was extremely tired, she had worked all night, and then all day. And with a wound in her leg at that.
Well, she had healed her bullet wound just after Archer had left, but strangely enough, she still felt it. Maybe it was phantom pain? Or maybe Oda Nobunaga had hit her with some special Servant ability.
Or maybe it was just Rin Tohsaka's body desperately reminding her that she was about to throw her life away if she kept involving herself in a war between legendary heroes.
No! That didn't matter! She had finished a summoning circle from whatever she managed to scrunge up after Nobunaga destroyed most of her workshop, and she wasn't about to back down now!
Rin had even skipped school for this!
Which was totally acceptable of course, and something that she should have done way earlier, but... Ugh, she had underestimated her bad luck, that was all.
Rin took a deep breath, and began chanting. "Silver and Iron to the origin—" She still remembered the words perfectly.
The summoning might not be as perfect as she had hoped, but that wasn't an excuse to slack off! She would still be summoning the stronges Servant! "Gem and the archduke of contracts is my cornerstone—"
And so, Rin Tohsaka continued on with the ritual.
But before that is completed, there is talk to be had about the Counter Force.
The Counter Force is humanity's mean of protecting itself from threats. Be it external threats or threats that come from the inside. The Counter Force will also prioritize humanity's continual survival over the individual.
Because of this, it has quite the bad reputation.
The Counter Force destroyed a country to kill this one guy! The Counter Force dropped a meteor on a baby so he wouldn't become Hitler II! The Counter Force forced Shirou Emiya into commiting yet another massacre which he will never remember!
Those were all indeed things the Counter Force had, and would do without hesitation, but it didn't always bring a hammer for everything.
It would use a more subtle touch if it thought it would be more efficient. The Counter Force was not stupid, the Counter Force was not foolish. Not everyone required massive force, sometimes a gentle push was needed.
The Holy Grail War in Fuyuki had been solved by both methods before. Stopping Angra Mainyu was essential for the survival of humanity.
Normally that would mean the Counter Force would at first lend Rin Tohsaka one of its workers, while also letting Artoria Pendragon in the war, a future worker. Typically that would be its subtle touch.
If that failed, it would then actually bring out the big guns.
Circumstances were different now however. A equally great threat to humanity... a threat named Oda Nobunaga, had been summoned. And so, a change in plans was needed.
"Come forth from the ring of restraints! Protector from the Holy Balance!" Rin Tohsaka finished her chanting.
And as her body burned, and her mind became dazzy, a figure appeared.
Funnily enough, this was the one world where didn't initially fail. Her Servant didn't drop from the skies with amnesia, it appeared right in front of her with all its glory. All the glory of a country conquering hero.
Tan skin, a red and black outfit, and a body that made Rin Tohsaka feel... warm inside. Let's put it like that.
The Servant... had her eyes closed.
"Hm... hello...?" Rin Tohsaka tilted her head, confused. Had she failed? Her Servant looked dead on her feet. Her feet, because it was a woman. "A-are you okay?" There was no way her luck could be this bad!
Suddenly the Servant's eyes snapped open. "Ah. The summoning is already done." She tilted her head. "Hello Master. Sorry for this, I thought I could get a small nap during the travel from the throne." Even as she said something absurd, she sounded completely emotionless.
"Oh." What?
Well, at least her Servant acknowledge her as her Master... that was a good thing, right? "That's... fine, I think?" Rin Tohsaka shook her head, and scowled. "For now just introduce yourself! What class are you!?"
It had to be Saber. The Servant carried a massive sheathed sword around, bigger than her whole body. She also had to be some Japanese figure of some kind judging from her facial features and her type of weapon.
Which was kind of exciting to think about. Much like Shinsuke Yamaguchi, Rin Tohsaka had cheated the system! Somehow...
Now one could only wonder who Saber was. Miyamoto Musashi? Minamoto-No-Yoshitsune? Sasaki Kojirou...? Considering the length of the blade, that was actually quite possible.
"I am of the Alter Ego Class." What? "And my true name is..." She suddenly raised her tone of voice, even as she still kept her voice with no emotion. "Majin Okita Souji!"
She sent her Master a thumbs up. "I'll fight by your side until my Spirit Graph collapses, Master."
Rin felt like she had just been shot again. This time in the brain. Was her Servant just Okita Souji? Why did she add the Majin moniker? And Rin accepted that, that only brought up the question of how someone as modern as Okita Souji became a Servant in the first place.
Actually, forget about all that. Alter Ego— Saber! Had said something far more concerning. "Until your Spirit Graph... collapses? What do you mean by that?"
"My Spirit Graph is unstable, so I'm certain to disappear eventually. Maybe before the war gets an opportunity to end." Her face became completely serious. "So we must speedrun the wa—"
Rin cut her off. "Please go back to the Throne. It seems I was given the wrong Servant."
Okita looked down. "Sorry, I think you wouldn't get a new Servant if I did that. I think you would just lose."
Rin started shaking her Servant's shoulders, completely forgetting she was dealing with a legendary hero. "I know! I know, damn it! Gaah! Why does this have to happen to me!?"
It had finally happened, the mast of perfection that Rin Tohsaka always tried to wear had throughly broken. Suffering defeat after defeat, her psyche was breaking down, leaving only the essence of her character.
That is to say, the pathetic side of Rin Tohsaka.
Alter Ego grumbled. "Please stop shaking me. It makes me dizzy."
"Please stop existing! It makes me mad!" Rin did release her though, but only to grab her own head in despair. "How am I supposed to get revenge on Yamaguchi now!? My Servant is going to crumble before I even get to him!"
Not that she would kill Shinsuke Yamaguchi of course, he had spared her life, so it was only right she did the same. Archer though... Archer was doomed... Or at least that's what Rin wished she could say, but her Servant was so worthless she was literally breaking down!
"Master." This time, Okita was the one to touch her shoulders. "Listen to me..." She would give some advice.
Rin had tears in her eyes. "I'm listening."
"..." Okita had fallen asleep. Again.
"Gah! You're worse than useless! You're a detriment!" The only good thing about her was her ridiculously hot body! But sadly Rin was not scummy enough to take advantage of that.
Nor was she self aware enough to even think about taking advantage of that.
Okita awoke once more. "Sorry, I just wanted to say that revenge is never worth pursuing."
"Shut up before you become my target of revenge!"
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
AN: Okita Alter! Does her and Nobu appearing but not Okita count as bullying? I hope so, I love bullying Okita. Jokes aside, I do love Okitan... Actually, I can't really say jokes aside when it comes to her.
Much like Nobu, her being a joke or not very much depends on the situation. Which I think is the best type of Servant for a fic like this. She is also unbelievably great! I love her! Tan girls are the best!
Oh, and Shirou might start getting targeted. It was inevitable really, since he probably has even worse luck than Rin. Hopefully he summons a cutie king to act as a shield or something.
Comments
mukash 18
Yama should cuck Rin once again by coining Okitan which somehow will fix her condition and then have hot NTR lovemaking while Rin peeps in bisexual jealousy.
GalloConTennis
Finally we are approaching the time of cutie king's lewdment, truly peak after peak.
