FakeKing
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I Turned My Life Into A Chuunige VN 09
🕑 Added 2025-04-15 14:56:24 +0000 UTC"Look at my cute little Master." Nobunaga began patting Shinsuke's head. "Making enemies into allies already, I'm so proud."
Was she really? "Is that the case? I thought for sure you would be against this."
Nobunaga shrugged. "I'm not against it at all. When you defeat an enemy, you have two paths before you. Either you grind them into nothing, or you recruit them. Both paths are valid." Her gaze shifted towards Illya. "Just make sure to keep a short leash on her."
Illya's eye twitched. "I'm no dog."
Oda Nobunaga grinned. "Dogs aren't the only ones who wear leashes."
Shinsuke, feeling that an argument might emerge from this talk, decided to interject. "Let's have the leash talk another moment. For now, let's hold a strategy meeting, Archer."
Archer raised an eyebrow. "Hm? You have something you want to talk about?"
Shinsuke nodded. "Of course. We still have plenty of daytime ahead of us... so let's choose our next target." Or at least a place where to find their next target. "There's no meaning in remaining iddle."
Right now they had eliminated one Servant, but five more remained, the Holy Grail War was far from over. That said, they had took the lead, and Shinsuke wanted to keep it that way.
Nobunaga hummed. "There totally is though." She chuckled. "I'm beat after all! I need a rest day! And you're pretty beat up too, Master!"
"..." He wanted to rebuke her, but he did not.
If he was being honest, he didn't feel all that beat. With that said, Archer was bleeding all over the place. He missed the fight against Berserker, but clearly he had done a number on her.
"Forget about resting, we should take you to a hospital." That was the answer he arrived at.
If his Servant suddenly dropped dead because of some untreated wound that would... Well, it would suck to say the least.
To his surprise though, she shook her head. "Nah! As long as I have mana, and my core isn't damaged, I'll heal. I just need time, really." How convenient.
Illyasviel interjected. "Speaking of healing however, how did you even get that wound in your arm, Shin?"
Shinsuke sighed. "I got beat up by Rider." He raised his messed up arm. "A friend of mine treated the wound though, so it's not too bad."
"It looks pretty bad. That friend must have been an amateur." Illya squinted her eyes. "How about we go rest on my castle? I'll heal your wound there."
Shinsuke tilted his head. "You can heal people?"
"It's fairly easy for an alchemist." She was an alchemist!?
Well, that surprise aside, he needed to put some serious thought into this. If he accepted her offer, not only would he enter her base, he would also let her mess with his body. Both which would presumably give her the opportunity to turn the table on him.
"Okay then, let's go." In the end he accepted it.
Right now Illyasviel was his heroine, and she didn't seem too mad at him despite the whole thing with Berserker. He went through the trouble of making her an ally, so he might as well take advantage of the benefits she provided.
Illyasviel curtsied. "Very well then, I shall welcome you, and your Servant, as guests."
Nobu raised her arms to the sky in cheer. "Wohoo! I hope there's good food there!"
Shinsuke hoped that too.
[HR] [/HR]
"Welcome back, Lady Illyasviel." They were greeted by two maids, one smiling and one nonchalant.
Right there and there, Shinsuke summoned a coin and— Stopped himself. The maids were downright breathtaking, so he had been surprised by a moment— Also, one had super big boobs— But he was trying to escape the chuuni, not add more chuuni to his life.
There was also one thing that abou them that bothered him. And that thing was their resemblance to Illyasviel, clearly they were related someway or another.
But... they looked like adults, while Illyasviel looked like a child even though she was nineteen. So how old were these hags!?
The smiling maid shifted her gaze to Shinsuke. "I see you have... allied yourself with an enemy Master." Ah, her smile was now shaking. "Is that truly wise, milady—?"
"Berserker died so I have no choice. Now go make us something to eat." Illya wasted no energy trying to soften the blow.
Mostly because she didn't want to embarrass herself explaining just how exactly Berserker had kicked the bucket. Besides, as far as she was concerned Sella and Leysritt deserved no explanation anyways.
"What!?" As one would expect, Sella did not take that very well. "Berserker was defeated!? How!?"
Archer pointed at herself. "He couldn't handle all of me." Which wasn't a lot. Archer was really petite.
Sella's eyes widened. "You...!" What kind of hero could take down Heracles in the Archer class!?
Illya huffed. "She doesn't matter right now. What matters is that we have guests, and you two have the job of making them feel welcome, or it will bring shame upon my family's name."
She chose to not talk about how she herself had brought shame by losing miserably before the final Servant was even summoned. That didn't matter right now.
Sella wanted to talk more, but before she could, Leysritt bowed. "As you wish, Lady Illyasviel."
Sella imitated her. "Y-yes, of course. We shall prepare food for the guests." In the end they were just homunculus maid's made to assist Illyasviel Von Einzbern.
Nothing more, nothing less.
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"So, does it look bad?" Shinsuke asked as she looked over his arm.
He wasn't expecting something too bad though. Not only because Sakura had treated it, but because it was never that bad in the first place. It wasn't like Rider had broken it or something.
"Hmmm..." But Illya's face seemed troubled, for some reason. "Your ribs are also wounded, right?"
Shinsuke nodded. "Yeah. I got kicked there a bunch." It was probably a miracle those hadn't broken. Even more so than the arm.
Illya sighed. "I'll check them then." He didn't understand how she was checking them at all.
All the girl did was touch him with her hands. While she did it, a burning sensation spread across his body, though it didn't hurt, it was just a bit uncomfortable.
And to make sure she wouldn't suddenly try to swap his heart and brain with rocks, Archer was watching her. Though Shinsuke doubted Archer understood much of magic either, even if she had her naked thing. It just didn't seem like her type of thing.
Illya raised an eyebrow. "Well, that's interesting."
"What's interesting?" Suddenly, he felt a bit worried. "It's never good to hear that about your own body."
Illya smiled. "Don't worry, your body is fine. Healing it is not gonna be too bad, even if the amateur who tried helping you cause more damage than she solved." Eh, he at least appreciated Sakura trying...
Even though it was her brother's Servant who did it...
She continued. "The thing that's interesting is that you seem pretty capable of ignoring pain, above a natural level. Your body has some mechanism to numb pain when you are in danger."
"You mean adrenaline?" That was something everyone had! It would be like a chuuni story to try and make seem it special.
Illyasviel frowned. "No, not adrenaline. Something more." Something supernatural. "I think you might be a descendant of an oni... It explains your higher than average Magic Circuits too."
He did not know what a Magic Circuit was. He did know about onis though. "I... don't think I'm a oni... Yeah..." He didn't have the horns. Or the grotesque appearance. Or all the other scary shit associated with the mystical creature.
"That's because you are not an oni. You have... A very small percentage of you is an oni. Definitely not enough to affect your life in any meaningful way." Unless he started fighting people. "It's not exactly a uncommon thing, you know?"
Stuff like that was all over the world. Maybe Shinsuke's greatgreatgreatgrandfather had sex with a mystical creature or something. It didn't matter much, it just made him more attractive bait for researchers.
She continued. "Even so, if you're curious, just check your family history and see if you find something weird."
Shinsuke hummed. "I'll do that once the war is over..." On the outside he was calm.
Inside however, he had never freaked out so much! He had oni blood!? That was so chuuni though! Had it always been that way!? Or was the coin affecting him someway!?
He met a god and got artifacts from them. He had oni blood. He summoned Oda Nobunaga (Girl). Could it be... that the world wasn't chuuni, he was!?
No way right!? There was no way he was the chuuni factor that was changing everything, right!?
"So Shin, can I start healing you, or are you going to keep staring at nothing?"
"Ah, yeah. Please heal me." He had entered in shock.
After all, his wish was to end his bond with the girls... but was there any point in doing that if he himself was chuuni incarnate? It was certainly a massive blow to his resolve.
Maybe he was making a big deal out of nothing though, Illya had said it was normal. So as she healed his wounds, he began calming down.
Though sometimes did enter his mind. "Hey, can the summon of a hero be affected by who you are?"
"What do you mean?" Even as she healed him, she was capable enough to question him.
"It's just that now I'm wondering if I summoned Nobunaga because of this oni blood thingy." In the end chuuniness might have saved him after all.
Nobunaga, who had stayed silent so far, finally decided to interject. "What would onis have to do with me? I'll have you know I was their greatest enemy!" She was their greatest enemy in general.
Shinsuke flinched. "It's just that... you know..."
"I know...?"
"Nothing." She just gave a demonic aura, damn it! "You're just demonically cute, that's all." In the end he ran away with a compliment.
Thankfully, Archer bit the bait. "I sure am! And I'm angelically cute too!" Shinsuke had no idea what was angelical about her.
Illya huffed. "That distraction aside... let me actually explain what Shinsuke asked." She didn't like Nobunaga.
It wasn't due to some quirk of Nobunaga, nor was it due to some jealousy. It was something far more primal, pure instict. Like a serial killer in a dark alleyway, sometimes about the Japanese legend screamed danger. It was a bit creepy that Shinsuke could ignore that.
But it wasn't the time to think about that. "Yes, certain factors can affect the summoning of a Servant. If you bring a legendary sword into the ritual for example, you might summon a hero who used that sword during their life."
"I doubt you had any item like that however, so what was used was most likely your body." His oni ancestry was probably too weak to affect anything, however. "Oda Nobunaga must be compatible with you."
Shinsuke suddenly went pale. "I-I see..." He wouldn't deny that he got along with Nobunaga.
But... this was more weight into the idea that he was the chuuni factor here. And if that was the case, then—
"Hahaha! It's good to see Master and I are destined partners!" Nobunaga suddenly began patting his back. "Seeing as we are winning so far, I approve of this relationship!"
"Yeah, me too." Hopefully she wouldn't change her mind if they lost though. "But a lucky streak can only go so far, before fate knocks you down..." He mumbled to himself.
And then realized that saying such a thing was super chuuni! Damn it!
"Hah, don't I know it, Master."
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Shinsuke had been worried about the food that Illyasviel's maid had been preparing.
Not because he feared for their quality, but because he was scared of them being poisoned. That fear faded away as Illyasviel and Archer started to eat without any reservations, however. Although maybe he shouldn't be so confident, seeing as he was clearly the only normal.... normal-ish human here.
Although It was kind of hard to be afraid of the food when Nobunaga was eating like the second coming of Goku.
She was laughing while eating too... "Gyahahaha! Sent compliments to your chef, little gal! This is delicious!" It was a miracle she wasn't choking on any of it. "I love Japanese food, but getting something different once in a while is super nice!"
"Right... I'm sure my maids appreciate your compliments." Illyasviel was straight up disgusted at Archer's behavior.
She could accept Shinsuke lacking technical proper equitte fitting her table, since he at least ate like a normal human being, but Nobunaga... Perhaps she was the one with oni blood in here after all.
Shinsuke interjected. "Speaking of them... who are they exactly?" He squinted his eyes. "And who are you?"
Illya tilted her head. "What do you mean?"
He blushed. "It's just that... maybe it's just a mage thing, but I'm pretty sure being nineteen and looking like a kid isn't normal. And the maids also look super similar to you, so—"
"I am a homunculus." It was something any mage would be able to tell with a glance, but Shinsuke Yamaguchi was no mage. "And so are my maids, though we were created for different purposes." And she was created with a different method...
She continued. "They were created to serve me and aid me during the Holy Grail War. I was created to win the Holy Grail War."
Shinsuke flinched. "Oh. Sorry about that." Well, not really. Still, it did make him feel a bit bad.
Though he had used a coin to bind their fates, so maybe ruining her life's purpose wasn't too bad in comparison. Actually, both were pretty bad in comparison.
Nobunaga chuckled. "Hah! You don't need to apologize to her, Master! Giving yourself a new purpose everytime you lose your past one is the core of the human experience. Not that she is one! Hahaha!" She sure was feeling boisterous.
Maybe it was the wine. Shinsuke hadn't touched it yet, but he was pretty sure Archer had already downed more than five bottles of it. Seriously, who was the oni here!?
Illyasviel looked down. "I suppose you're right..." A new purpose... Well, there was the idea of torturing her brother!
If the idiot had yet to summon a Servant, she was pretty sure she could pull it off. Failing that, maybe she could strike once Shinsuke took that Servant down. And Shinsuke would definitely do that, she didn't lose to a loser, after all.
Still, after that... "I don't think I will have much time for that, however." She felt ashamed of even saying it. It felt like she was asking for pity points for her enemy.
Shinsuke was now confused. "I don't plan on killing you unless you try to stab me in the back, so—"
"That's not it, Master." Archer stopped him. "As a homunculus, this isn't about her dying to an enemy. It's just that... as a homunculus, her shelf-life is probably right. Ain't that right, little girl?"
"That's right... I won't get to live for much longer after this war." It wasn't too bad.
Illyasviel had come to more or less accept it. Although she had accepted it with the idea that she would have plenty of fun during the war. Something that had now gone out of the window, more or less.
Shinsuke suddenly didn't feel hungry at all. "Oh... um..." Shit.
He here was, thinking about using his omnipotent wish to get destiny divorced, while this girl had been potentially fighting for her life. There was no way she planned on wishing for anything but a longer a life, after all.
He always knew that some people would have more reasonable wishes than him of course, but he still didn't like directly hearing it. Especially since his wish was now in jeopardy. There would be no running away from the chuuni, if he himself was chuuni.
Archer, apparently seeing his discomfort, decided to help him. "Master, don't go feeling bad 'cause of a sob story. And well, if you do feel really bad about it, just do something about it."
It was strange. He had expected her to tell him to complete ignore Illyasviel... which she had done to an extent, but at the same time she told him to give up on his wish if he wanted to?
"Do something about it, you don't mean...?"
"I mean exactly what I think. Use your wish on her if you want to." She talked as if it wasn't a big deal. "A wish is supposed to be used on something that makes you happy. You wanted to fix a mistake of your past, right? If that makes you happy go for it. But if Illyasviel living makes you happier, than go for it instead."
She grinned. "Life is pretty simple. If you like something, pursue it. If you dislike something, discard it. Leave the higher thinking to philosophers." It was a supremely hedonistic view of the world.
But it was something Oda Nobunaga deeply believed in.
And it was something that resonated with Shinsuke Yamaguchi. He was the one that summoned her, after all.
And more than that, he was the stupid idiot who desperately wanted a girlfriend no matter what.
They weren't the only people there however, and Illyasviel felt insulted. "What kind of idiotic idea is that? A wish isn't something to be spent without thought." Especially for her—
"Thought isn't my strong point." Shinsuke had made up his mind. "Illyasviel, I'm gonna save you." Like most of his decisions when it came to heroines, it was something made on the spur of the moment.
But it did matter?
Why was he even pursuing a normal life and avoiding "chuuni" anyways? Was he scared? Afraid of leaving behind normalcy like some cutter cookie protagonist? Yes, that was exactly it. He had been afraid of leaving behind common sense.
He should have abandoned that fear the moment he got his coins.
Looking back at it, even before the idea of chuunibyou came into his life, he had been afraid of getting more than one girl. He had always went for it, but he had always been afraid. Why? Because it was a hard thing to do? Hard to managed? Wasn't that the fun of a harem lifestyle anyways!?
He chose Illyasviel Von Einzbern. He chose Rin Tohsaka. He chose Sakura Matou. He chose Rider. Yes, not all of those decisions were made with a lot of thought, but they were his decisions.
He would discard the idea of discarding them.
He desperately wanted a girlfriend, so surely ten girlfriends would be even better anyways! Even if he had no idea how he would avoid killing Rider.
And apologize to Rin.
And get on Sakura's good side.
It was a long journey ahead.
"Save me...?" Illyasviel couldn't believe it. Just as she couldn't believe her little heart had actually sped up.
Shinsuke nodded. "Yeah, save you. Because it's gonna make me happy!" He pointed at himself. "And that's a promise, you hear me!?" And in VN's promises couldn't be escaped from!
Nobunaga started clapping. "Ah...! I feel like a proud big sis right now! I never got to feel like that before!" No comment.
Illyasviel couldn't comprehend the sheer absurdity of this whole scenario. "What kind of mess is inside your head, Shin!? You would waste a wish on me!?"
"It's not a waste! It's a investment!" Yes, that had been the logic behind coining Illyasviel from the beginning.
"It's the wrong choice, is what it is!" She slapped the table in embarrassment. Not that it did much.
"I don't make wrong choices, I just make choices! Choices that I refuse to regret!" He was a man guided by his heart, not his brain. "That's just how things are..." And speaking of choices made by his heart...
He turned around to Archer. "Nobu!"
"Yes!?" Her Master was hyped up, so she was too.
"Let's keep working together." He summoned a hidden coin, and began praying on his head.
Just because Archer was cute. Yes, it would make the war way harder to manage, but it didn't matter, because Archer was cute.
Well, that and Shinsuke Yamaguchi was also losing himself to the hype right now.
"Of course, Master! Let's keep our partnership going for as long as it's fun!" At that moment, Oda Nobunaga had her fate intertwined with another.
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AN: Like a pendulum, Shinsuke went from the idea of cutting off the connection from the coins, to completely embracing it. Mostly because Nobu is the worst possible influence on him.
And also the best. She is the Gilles to his Ryuunosuke after all. Honestly, even if he hadn't used the coin on her, they might have fucked eventually. Though Nobu being Nobu, she would only ever genuinely become his... "loving" girlfriend with the coin.
Well, coining two Servants is also a big problem in a war where only one Servant is supposed to come out alive, but Shinsuke has given up on rational thought! Nobu! Nobu!
All that aside... Oni blood. That's a thing. Shinsuke is no Akiha, much less a Shuten or anything crazy like that, but it is something.
Comments
OppaiMeme
Of course she is! Nobu played Fire Emblem all over Japan back when she was alive. She was probably the evil emperor though, lol.
Kaustrios
Nobu really is speaking like a true fire emblem character But more importantly Shinsuke finally embraced the chuuni! And Nobu was already born and molded by the chuuni anyway
RJKY
It's a good thing Gilgamesh is around, and that he counts for more than one Servant. His death will save the Waifu Servants.
