FakeKing
patreon
Adventure Awaits! Huzzah! 07
🕑 Added 2025-03-17 16:18:53 +0000 UTC"Hey, Grandpapa, how did you meet Sir Kris?" As previously discussed, they had decided to ask Mycen about his connection to Himmel's guardian.
Himmel had wondered if there would be some hesitation before someone actually asked the question, but nope. Celica went straight for it as soon as breakfast started, truly the power of a dumb, unsubtle brat.
He supposed he shouldn't have been so surprised by it. It wasn't like it was some taboo question or anything... but Kris had been such a mysterious figure for such a long part of his life that learning more about him felt wrong.
Mycen scratched his beard. "A curious question, but one that has a boring answer. We simply stumbled on one another as outsiders and got along." Ah. He was right, that was boring.
Alm sighed, clearly just as disappointed as Himmel. "Really? I guess old men just naturally attract each other."
Celica glared at him. "Alm! Don't say rude things!"
Immediately the green-haired boy flinched. "What's wrong with telling the truth?"
Mycen chuckled. "It depends on what truth you are saying, Alm." What a strange thing to hear from a knight, but Himmel understood the sentiment. "Though Kris isn't exactly old, he's a spry young man. And definitely nowhere near as old as me."
Celica raised an eyebrow. "Truly? I guess he doesn't have white hair yet..." Not that such a trait meant much in this world. Kliff and his mom existed. "But..."
Alm finished for her. "But he has a mustache and stuff! And... and... Himmel calls him old man sometimes!" That was true.
Though Himmel did it mostly due to his appearance. Because, as usual, he didn't know something about Kris, in this case his age. For all he knew, his guardian was a thousand-year-old dragon in disguise.
Mycen chuckled yet again. "Poor Kris... if he heard all this, his heart would break." Nah, the guy had a heart of steel, if he even had one at all. "He is actually quite young... I believe. I never learned his actual age, but he certainly looked youthful when he showed up."
Himmel muttered to himself. "The wonders of a mustache..."
Mycen immediately nodded, a strange look on his eyes. "Indeed!" Even his tone of voice had gone up. "This does not matter much for Celica, but you two young boys should remember that a man's facial hair defines his character." Ah. So this is what the old knight was passionate about?
As Himmel looked at his beard, which was clearly very well cared for, he realized he should have reached that conclusion way sooner.
Alm smirked. "If that's true, then I'm going to have the greatest beard ever! Even better than yours, Grandpa!" It was weird imagining an Alm with a green beard.
Really weird.
Mycen obviously appreciated his grandson's desire to be manly. "With your lineage, of that I have no doubt, my boy." Yep. Much like he had inherited some bullshit from his Jugdral ancestors, he would inherit Mycen's beard.
Alm smiled. "Awesome!" And then looked at Himmel. "Hey, let's be beard brothers!" That sounded... like something.
Himmel looked away. "We'll see." He didn't know what look he was aiming for when he actually grew up.
Were the girls of this world into pretty boys or manly men!?
And he didn't know anything about his parents either, especially when it came to looks. Would he have a feminine face? A handsome one? There were many possibilities.
In the end, whether he would have a beard or not depended on whether his wife liked beards or not.
Celica interjected. "I, for one... um..." It was clear that she was struggling to put her thoughts into words. "While I think beards look... very knightly, not every man needs one." Ah, so she was trying to politely say beards sucked.
Truly a conundrum for the ages.
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Life could be unfair sometimes. Really unfair.
One just needed to look at the brats of his village. On one hand you had little guys like Tobin, who were pretty poor and had nothing going on for them. On the other hand, you had people like Alm, who had super special marks and were raised by cool knights, and...!
Fuck Alm.
"Down you go!" The green-haired boy shouted as he raised a blunt weapon to the skies.
Celica looked like she was about to cry. "Don't shout while hitting me!" She was begging him to stop, but Alm was pretty merciless when it came to beating little girls.
Wow.
Himmel couldn't help but mutter silently to himself. "I could have made Celica panic at my metal stick too..." He did have the power of actually being an adult after all!
Still, he couldn't train with them because he had promised Kris to only start when he became twelve. Playfighting would be okay, of course, but this was different since Mycen was officially teaching them.
And Himmel could only watch.
Is this what being a cuckold felt like?
"I yield! I yield!" Naturally, porn Celica gave up once Alm threw her to the ground with sheer strength.
The little boy was a little monster. "Hah! Of course you do!" And that grin of his was probably traumatizing the hell out of Celica. "I guess we know who the older sibling is now!" Insolence.
Celica glared at him. "Still me!"
Mycen's chuckle cut through their argument. "You two shouldn't be arguing about such matters." The old knight was clearly happy about the whole sibling thing.
What a fool. He did not know such a powerful tool was simply being used to cuck the shit out of Alm. Yes, for now the boy may be happy swinging his sword at a cute girl, but one day Himmel would be thrusting his sword in a sexy woman! He would have the last laugh!
Mycen crossed his arms. "Instead, you two should be analyzing your own flaws in combat." He looked at the boy. "Alm, you are incredibly talented, but you are far too aggressive. Keep fighting like that, and your stamina will end before your opponent's life."
Alm pouted, displeased at the criticism. "I won, though." He pointed at the downed Celica.
Mycen nodded. "Against her, but that shall not continue should you face a different opponent." He took a wandering gaze at Himmel, clearly considering the idea of training him...
But eventually he looked away. "Perhaps some of your other friends could teach you that..." Oh no.
He was going to train the village brats before Himmel got an opportunity to do anything. This was some kind of punishment for grooming two young girls, wasn't it? Perhaps Lady Mila herself was staring down at Himmel with disgust.
Mycen shifted his gaze to the girl on the floor. "And Celica, you too are talented with a sword. Perhaps just as much as Alm... and yet you have the opposite problem he does. You are far too passive. Which is why you got overwhelmed."
She flinched. "I didn't want to hurt him..."
Alm snorted. "Couldn't have done so even if you wanted!" He sure was getting cocky... and Himmel couldn't even teach him a lesson.
She gritted her teeth. "I could have!" Maybe next time she would.
But for now, Mycen raised up his voice. "Make sure to try next time, Celica, but for today that is all." He couldn't push their young bodies too far, it would probably hurt more than help.
Alm dropped his blunt sword in a second. "Okay! Let's go play, Himmel!" Somehow he was still full of energy. Even after all that. That had to be his weird brand.
Himmel sighed. "Sure, but..." He walked over to the downed Celica.
"First you should at least help her." He extended an open hand to the poor girl.
She took it with a smile and got up. "Thank you, Himmel, Alm has much to learn from you." As far as he was concerned, that was definitely not the case.
Alm had the great quality of not manipulating the emotions of young girls, which immediately put him above Himmel in pretty much every moral standpoint. Not to mention how the young boy was actually improving through his own efforts instead of being an adult cheater.
Alm scratched his cheek. "Comparing me to Himmel is a bit much, don'cha think? I'm not reaching him anytime soon." Eh, all he needed were a few years.
Celica smiled. "Shall I compare you to a piece of dung instead? You can easily reach that." A kid's way of saying piece of shit!?
Alm sputtered. "Y-you're mad at me, aren't you!?"
Himmel had to cover up his own laughter. "Um? What clued you in, Alm?" He shook his head. "But let us leave any insults for... another time." He held Celica's hand tighter. "How about we take this poor lady on a stroll as an apology for now?"
Celica did a little curtsy. "That sounds amazing, Himmel."
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Himmel had to give it to Alm, he had an amazing sense of aesthetics. Or perhaps an amazing sense of exploration, considering he had found this place instead of actually building it.
Alm cleared his throat. "So... do you guys think it's neat?" His eyes were constantly shifting from Celica to Himmel, seeking their approval.
It was clear that the young girl was awestruck at least. "This place is beautiful, Alm!" Of course she thought a field of flowers was an amazing thing.
Well, he couldn't blame her. "Yeah, this place is great." There were flowers of all types here, some of which his studies told him shouldn't even grow near a place like Ram Village.
It was certainly special.
Alm let out a relieved smile. "I'm glad you two think so..." He blushed. "S-so am I forgiven for winning that fight, Celica?" It seems the poor brat didn't want his big sis mad at him, how cute.
Sadly, the girl was seemingly not satisfied. "I was about to say yes, but after that comment... No, you are not forgiven!" She sure was hard to satisfy.
But Himmel had a feeling he knew what was going through her cute little head.
Alas, Alm certainly did not. "B-but..." He looked like he was about to cry. A weird thing to see with him of all people.
It wasn't a bad strategy, though. Celica was polite and kind by default, so if Alm started to cry, she would forgive and forget immediately. That was just the type of person she was, just as Alm was a fierce, protective type.
But without addressing the issue, this could repeat itself, so Himmel decided to lend a hand. "Alm, she's still mad at you because you're going about things in the wrong way."
Alm tilted his head. "I-I am?"
Himmel nodded in response. "Yes. Celica isn't mad because you won the fight, that would be pretty ridiculous." She wasn't competitive like Tobin. "She's mad because you're an ugly winner." Alternatively, one might say she's a sore loser.
She had the power of being a cute girl, though, so she could get away with it.
Celica excitedly clasped her hands together. "Yes, Himmel! That is exactly it!" Now she could get a true apology!
"I still don't get it..." Or maybe not...
Himmel sighed. "That's fine... Just make sure to think about it, okay, Alm?" He got a nod from the boy. Hopefully one day he would learn how to control his violent tendencies a bit better.
But for now, Himmel wouldn't worry about it. "Forgetting about that though, what do you two want to play?" Maybe they could make a crown of flowers? Alm would probably think it's unmanly though.
Sucks to be him, Himmel would be bringing Faye and Celica here in the future.
Celica awkwardly cleared her throat. "Actually... before we do anything, can I ask something...?"
"Of course, go ahead." He wondered what she wanted...
"I'm just wondering why Grandpapa didn't train you, Himmel." She looked down. "Maybe you could have beaten Alm." Probably, but he was an adult, so it wouldn't accomplish much.
Alm smirked. "That's because Himmel can be a bad kid sometimes, so he's like... grounded. For forever."
Celica let out a silent gasp, as if the notion of Himmel being a bad child was something impossible for her to conceive. It was equal measures cute and equal measures concerning.
Himmel rolled his eyes. "That's not really it." Leave it to Alm to exaggerate. "Me and Kris have a deal. He will officially begin my training once I reach the age of twelve... and I'll be learning not only swordsmanship but also magic." A worthy trade as far as he was concerned.
Alm's smirk got wider. "Yeah, and the deal is happening because of your... badness." Amazing. "If you want to know the story, Celica, Himmel here used to practice magic so much that he hurt himself. So he pretty much got banned from it."
Surprisingly, however, Celica seemed a bit excited. "Himmel knows magic!?" Did she have some interest in it?
Well, he loved any and all chances to brag. "A bit. Honestly, I just know how to make a little spark." Or at least he knew how to... years ago. It was possible his body had forgotten.
"That still sounds amazing, Himmel! Could you show us!?" In a field of flowers? That sounded like a disaster in the making.
Alm interjected. "Um... Celica, did you forget it already? Himmel is grounded until the end of time, so he can't."
The girl whimpered. "Oh... yes, I'm sorry." It was clear that she was looking forward to the light show.
Well, it wouldn't have been anything special. Even at night his spark could barely be seen, and it was currently daytime. Not to mention how there was always a chance of Himmel failing it, he had never achieved consistency, so...
Screw it. "I'm forbidden from training magic, but I doubt there's anything wrong with showing what I can do to a friend." Kris would definitely get mad if he found out.
Sadly for the old man, while Himmel had tons of respect for the man who had done his best to raise and educate him, the needs of his possible future wife far outweighed those feelings. Himmel was a medieval simp after all! Which was actually popular around these eras!
Celica's eyes widened. "Truly!?"
Alm hummed. "What he is saying does make sense..." It didn't, but the brat was a brat. He would fall for any shitty logic.
Which was good for Himmel. "Okay, you two, stand back and watch!" He would need to be careful, even a little spark could turn into an inferno in the wrong hands.
He extended his arm, opened his hand, and...
Created a fireball. "Woah!" Which he immediately extinguished. Avoiding a disaster far bigger than what a measly spark could have created.
Celica seemed impressive though. "That was magic!? So amazing..." Since her expectations were low due to the spark comments, she ended up being even more awestruck.
Alm quickly agreed. "Seriously! How did you go from those little lights to that...?" And then he realized something. "Wait, are you okay, Himmel!?" Magic was tiring. If a spark was enough to make his friend almost pass out, then...!
But Himmel was okay. "Yeah, I'm fine." He was just a little bit pale. "As for what that was... I guess I'm just growing older." His life force was growing mightier.
Yes, he may not be training yet, but he had certainly not stagnated. The seeds he had planted a long time ago were growing!
He still wouldn't forgive Kris, though.
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
He had forgiven Kris. "This is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me." He was looking at the eyes of his eternal companion. And for once he wasn't talking about grooming a young girl.
Kris laughed. "I'm glad you like your early birthday gift... Any true warrior needs a horse after all." Even if she wasn't exactly a horse just yet.
His guardian had come back from his short journey with an adult horse for himself and a filly. A young horse that would grow with Himmel and eventually be ridden by him once he grew up.
Mycen chuckled. "True that." The old knight had his own majestic partner. "However, can you take care of two horses, Kris?" He couldn't help but worry.
Even he, an old retired knight, struggled with it. Which is why he was considering not purchasing one for Alm and Celica at all. They were expensive creatures to raise, especially those bred for combat. Which Kris' purchases clearly were.
Himmel's guardian smiled. "It's fine, I'll manage. With that said..." He looked at Himmel. "I will be supplying the resources to raise her, but you will be utilizing them, understood, Himmel?"
Himmel didn't hesitate to agree. "Sure! She will grow without issue!" For she was the most special little horse in the entire world.
Kris let out a relieved sigh. "That's good to hear... A boy must bond with his mount from a young age after all, it will gain you trust. And that trust can become the most valuable thing on the battlefield."
Himmel patted her head. "I know. History has taught me that." There were many legendary heroes who would have died like fools without their trusty steeds.
Also, horses are cool as fuck. That's all Himmel needed to know.
Kris nodded. "It's good that you remember it... Although one more issue remains. What shall you name her?"
His reply was swift. "Epona." Such chances could not be wasted!
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
"You really love Epona, don't you, Himmel?"
He tilted his head. "What gave you the idea, Faye?" Not that it was untrue. Epona was his one and true love! Platonically speaking.
Faye looked away. "Maybe because you brought her here...?" Ah. "And you bring her everywhere you go...?"
Himmel patted the head of his amazing filly. "I mustn't leave her alone. Just as I shouldn't leave a friend alone." Although bringing a horse to a field of flowers was perhaps not his greatest idea, she was trampling over everything.
Faye pouted and stole a glance at Celica, who was focusing on her own little project. "Yeah." She was most definitely jealous.
Himmel knew what was going on, he had kind of neglected Faye while Kris was out on his little mission. Still, he was trying to fix that by bringing her along on this little adventure. Hopefully he hadn't lost too many Faye points!
"Finished!" Celica's shout suddenly cut through his thoughts.
He sent her a happy smile. "Hoh? Can we finally see it?" She had insisted on working on it alone, but he was pretty sure he knew what she was doing.
It had once even been his idea, even.
Celica proudly presented a crown of flowers. "Look, Himmel! Look!" It looked like a mess.
But at the same time, it looked beautiful anyways.
He approached her, Faye following along. "A wreath? I didn't expect you to be an artisan, Celica." He knew it was coming, but he had to at least act surprised.
Faye gasped at the sight. "It looks beautiful...!" Should Himmel say a cheesy line, like not as beautiful as you?
Celica had to cover up her giggles. "I'm glad you two think so... I have been working really, really hard at it!" She blushed. "There were a lot of failures, but today I finally finished it!" It took a surprising amount of effort, didn't it!?
He definitely had to compliment that. "And as one would expect, a perfect amount of effort led to a perfect result. Fine work, Celica." It was sure to gain him tons of Celica points.
Faye looked down. "It's not that pretty..." And maybe lose him some Faye points!?
As one would expect, grooming two young girls was super hard! Especially when they were side-by-side!
Celica totally ignored Faye's comment. "I-I'm glad you think so, Himmel... Because I want you to have the wreath." Her blush became even more prominent. "I know it's not exactly manly, but it's the only way I could think of paying you back for what you have done for me..."
Himmel chuckled. "I don't really care about... manly stuff, really." He did play house with the two of them. "Any gift from you is far more precious than words could ever express, Celica." He took the wreath with pride.
It made Celica immensely happy, especially as he put it on his head. "And no wreath can express the gratitude I feel for you, Himmel."
Contrary to Celica's healthy blush, Faye had become pale. "I-I should learn how to make a wreath." He interrupted their moment, putting her little hands on Celica's little shoulders. "Please teach me, Celica!"
The girl nodded, even as Faye shook her. "O-of course! I was planning on giving you one as well... eventually!" With her declaration, the shaking stopped. "Everyone here is so kind..."
"Himmel, Alm, Grandpapa, Kliff, Tobin, Gray, and you too, Faye..." She pondered for a moment. "I can't help but wonder why everyone is so nice to me..." Because she was cute. It was hard to be mean to cute things.
But that was not the answer she wanted to hear. She needed something a bit more magical. "Because it's only natural to help one another, Celica. We live in the same village after all." A bit of a naive perspective.
But she was a child, it was fine to say this to her.
Surprisingly, her smile became a little bit restrained. "Is that why you help me, Himmel?"
He shook his head, he knew exactly what to say. "No. I help you out of selfishness." Because he was grooming her! "I like you, Celica." Hopefully this would avoid the gay bestie zone!
Her eyes widened. "I..." But before she could continue...
Faye jumped between them, a desperate look in her face. "A-and you like me too, right, Himmel!?"
His plans were going swimmingly. "Of course, Faye." He had to answer between chuckles, as steam left her ears. Now this was the good village boy life, screw being some stuffy noble! He wanted more of this! For ten years at least!
And then, almost as if to immediately ruin his happiness, a scream ran through the fields. The scream of an adult.
Celica immediately looked at where the source had come from. "Someone's in danger in the forest!" From the shout, it sounded more like someone had just died in the forest.
Himmel's body tensed. "Let's go back to the village then." He knew what to do. Call the village's militia in case of bandits or some wild beast—.
And Celica was already running. "We have to go help!" Said the girl who hadn't even hit puberty yet.
His eye twitched. "Damn it...! Wait!" And he, the boy who had also not hit puberty just yet, followed her. With Epona, loyal girl that she was, following him.
"H-Himmel, don't leave me!" And speaking of loyal girls, so did Faye.
He could only hope that it wasn't anything too bad.
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
It was far worse than he had expected.
"I'll rip your entrails from your body, demon boy! It will be a death far more painful than you can even imagine!" A mounted Zofian knight was furious. His left eye... was no more, a cascade of blood was descending from it.
"Feel free to try, you piece of dung!" And Alm was holding a bloody stick. Alm had taken the eye of a mounted knight with a stick. Demon boy indeed!
But the knight and Alm were not the only issues. Not only were there two other mounted knights and two unmounted ones, but the rest of the village brats were also here, poor Kliff was even crying.
This wasn't good.
He immediately looked at Celica, expecting her to burst into action, but... the girl was now trembling. As soon as she saw the knight, she became even more pale than Faye. Had that mysterious past come to haunt her?
It didn't matter, he had to step up before Alm got killed. "What's going on here!?" But as one would imagine, it was hard to sound intimidating when he looked and sounded like a little boy.
The wounded knight glared at him. "Another village piggie? Do all brats have a death wish or something!?" Were all knights this violent? Himmel still had no idea what had even happened in the first place!
Alm pointed his stick at the knight as if it were a legendary weapon. "If you try and hurt my friend, I'll take your other eye!"
The knight clicked his tongue. "Brats..." But then his one eye fixated on Celica. "Huh...? Well... perhaps losing an eye was a worthy trade after all..." He raised his spear to the skies. "Well then, time to make corpses out of pigs."
The poor girl immediately hid behind Himmel. "No..." She was shaking like a leaf.
Himmel took a deep breath. "I suggest you watch your tongue, sir, lest you lose something far more important than an eye. I do not know what is occurring here, but this village is home to an esteemed knight of far more renown than whoever you are."
Alm nodded. "Yeah, and I kicked your butt!" Which was cool, but Himmel doubted that could be repeated. Miracles were rare for a reason.
Which is why he was revealing Mycen's existence.
The knight scoffed. "What a joke, threats from children..." He raised a hand, covering his missing eye with it. "I did shamefully lose this, but I'm sure the princess will more than make up for that shame."
Princess, huh?
Holy shit. "This is your last warning, sir, stand down. I'm sure a healer of some sort may yet treat your eye, but giving one's life back is impossible."
The knight raised an eyebrow. "You sure talk fancy, kid." Thank Kris for that. Etiquette training. "But... why am I even talking to a brat?" He prepared his horse.
He really was going to run through some kids. And Mycen was certainly not yet here to stop it.
But Himmel wasn't just going to accept death. "I warned you!" It was a useless effort. He definitely couldn't beat five knights, but maybe they would stop if they saw even more resistance than just Alm.
So Himmel pointed his hand at the knight and cast a fireball. Immediately he felt fatigue, but it was his only weapon.
Which the knight casually cut in half. "Magic at that age...? Disgusting village of demons." Alm taking his eyes was indeed a miracle. Or Himmel really sucked.
He chuckled. "Welp, as a good knight, I'll make sure to wipe you all out!" He was going to take charge with his horse. Not at Himmel, of course, Celica was too close.
But at Alm. A wooden stick would not be enough to defend against that.
"Alm!" He couldn't let that happen, so he rushed at him.
With far more speed than he knew he had.
And with far more strength than he knew he had, he held the knight's lance... and lifted him off his horse. "Demon brat...!" Himmel threw him off the creature.
The knight, who had just been thrown around by a child, fell to the ground without being able to do anything about it.
The forest became silent.
