FakeKing
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Love, War, And 05
🕑 Added 2024-12-09 12:44:16 +0000 UTC"Yo! I'm here!"
He lightly knocked on Denji's door. Ayumu still didn't know how to feel about the events of the past day, but he felt like having some fun with his friend was bound to clear his mind.
Also, he kind of wanted to tell Denji about it. He didn't know if it was just to seek advice, or to brag. A guy shouldn't brag about cheating right? That was kind of like bragging about money.
"Comin'!" A bit after screaming, Denji opened the door. "Yo Ayumu. Did you brought the snacks?" He had been looking forward to this, hadn't he?
Ayumu raised a bag full of the trashiest foods he could find at a supermarket. "Yep." He tried entering the apartment, but Denji stopped him.
He was frowning. "Great. But before that, I gotta tell you... the rules." He seemed strangely serious about this. "Nayuta ain't here right now, she's walkin' the dogs, but she's gonna be back soon. You have until then to adapt. Got it?"
Ayumu gulped, but nodded. "Got it." What kind of crazy rules would these be?
Denji raised a finger. "First of all, no opening the doors of the other apartments in the complex."
Huh? "Y-yeah, sure? Who would even do that anyways?"
Denji raised a second finger. "Second of all, no opening my fridge."
Well, that sounded a lot more like a normal rule. Though saying it out loud like that made it sound kind of rude. "Sure dude. I bought the snacks and drinks anyway." No need to steal Denji's food.
His friend smiled from ear to ear. "You bought drinks too!?" But then wiped his smile away, clearing his throat. "Okay, so pay attention now. The third rule is the most important one!" He had Ayumu's full attention now. "No. Kissing. No matter what, got it?"
"Dude, I'm not gay." Ayumu's answer was immediate.
Denji took a step back. "The hell?" Was it that surprising?
They bonded over their mutual desire of banging woman. Did Denji maybe think he was bi? "Yeah, sorry dude. But like... this isn't a date. I really came here just to watch a movie." And to investigate! "Sorry." Wow, he had never rejected anyone before.
Denji's eye twitched. "I get that! I'm asking what brought this up in the first place!"
Ayumu tilted his head. "Well, you bought the no kissing rule, which kind of implied you thought we were gonna kiss. That's not gonna happen, by the way."
Denji shook his head. "I'm not gay either! I'm just telling you the rules." Um?
If it wasn't referring to Denji, then... "Okay then. Like I said the other day, I'm not a lolicon." Denji's sister was safe. Especially since he had no desire to cheat on his girlfriend yet again.
But then again, he kind of knew Asa better than he did Fami, so maybe he should dump the latter for the first. However, wasn't that kind of a dick move? Acting like love cared about that? Fami basically confessed to him, so he should stay with her.
And now his head was back to that complicated situation, just great...
Thankfully Denji quickly pulled him out of it. "I still don't know what that is, but whatever. You know the rules now, they may be weird, but ya gotta follow them if you don't wanna die."
Ayumu gave him a happy thumbs up. "Don't worry, I won't go around making your sister uncomfortable. I gotta say, though I knew she was young, but I didn't think she was this young?"
Denji raised an eyebrow. "What is it now...?"
Ayumu crossed his arms. "It's just that she's still on that age where she thinks seeing someone kissing is icky, right? That's the only reason I can think for such a strange rule."
That was the conclusion he had arrived for the kissing rule, but he still couldn't make sense of the door one. The fridge was pretty understandable, so there was no confusion there at least.
Denji's eyes widened. "Woah, I never thought about that. You're totally right on the money." Of course! He was Detective Ayumu right now, after all!
And Detective Ayumu was finally allowed into Denji's apartment. There he noticed strange demonic objects such as...
"You have a fart chart?" Why did Denji have a fart chart? That is to say, something that kept track of his, and Nayuta's farts?
Denji grinned. "Yeah. Nayuta thinks it's funny." Fair enough. "And she's totally right. It's awesome, ain't it?"
"Let's just start the movie." In the end he chose to not make any comments.
The movie he had picked was some random horror flick with a interesting cover. It had been cheap to rent too, so even if it was bad, he wouldn't have minded wasting money on it. Him and Denji opened one of the snacks, and started watching.
But their movie was interrupting by the sound of dogs barking. "She's comin'. Remember the rules."
Ayumu rolled his eyes. "Oh no, I'm having a sudden irresistible urge to open the fridge..."
The door finally open, and for the first time Ayumu laid eyes on Denji's little sister.
Nayuta was kind of scary looking.
Which was a weird thought to have about a kid that clearly was in her early teens, and yet that was the first thing that came to his mind. The second thing was that Denji had way too many dogs, who were currently attached to her waist.
At least until she released them. It was a small miracle that they hadn't dragged her around though. It was also another miracle that not one of the dogs had a problem with Denji's cat.
They ran into the room with no care in the world, and Ayumu had to take quick action so that they wouldn't get their hands on any of the food he had bought. This type of food was already awful for humans after all, dogs shouldn't get their paws on it.
And while he was occupied with that, Nayuta pointed at him. "Who are you...?"
Denji scratched the back of his neck. "That's the friend I told you was comin'."
She hummed... and then sniffed the air. "He smells strong." This again... Well, that was to be expected.
Ayumu didn't really see any ghost hanging around her though, which was strange. The only other devil that had been like that was the Bat Devil, and Ayumu had presumed he had simply missed it on the heat of the moment. Clearly there were still tons of rules he didn't know about.
He smiled towards her. "So I've been told. I bought food as an apology though."
Nayuta's eyes widened. "You're forgiven! She excitedly ran towards him, joining the dogs in trying to take the food.
Though Ayumu didn't have to defend himself against this one. Even if he kind of wanted to, since it would definitely be an adorable sight.
Denji scowled. "Wait a second Nayuta, ya haven't even introduced yourself! And don't eat too much or you will get sick!" A rare showing of Denji's big brother's abilities were unfolding before his eyes...
Alas, they were not strong enough to work on Nayuta. "It's okay, I just won't get sick." She claimed while munching on a snack. What a fearsome creature.
Denji growled. "Na-yu-ta!"
She let out a groan of annoyance. "Fine... I'll introduce myself."
"That's not—!"
"I'm Nayuta, nice to meet ya." She excitedly waved at him.
He chuckled. "Nice to meet you too Nayuta. My name is Ayumu Sanada, your big brother's classmate. Speaking of him, you should listen to what he says."
"Nah." Amazing. "Y-your name is kind of dumb by the way." Where did that come from...? And why the stutter?
Suddenly, he found himself being confused. "I see...?" He wasn't the type of person to get angry at a little kid though. Especially when that little kid was the sister of his friend. "Well, your name is very cute."
She took a step back. "O-of course it is!" And then quickly ran towards Denji. "So, what were the two of you doing anyways!?" She sure seemed excited.
Now seeing this side of her, it was kind of funny that he ever thought she could be scary in the first place.
At this point Denji had seemingly recovered from her bratty attitude. "Just some dumb horror flick." Hey, Ayumu thought it was dumb too, but since he had picked it, he would appreciate it if Denji hid his opinion!
Also, they were watching the movie during the day. Which automatically made this experience worse than what it probably should be.
He continued. "Don't worry, we're gonna finish it soon, then ya can watch your cartoons or whatever."
Nayuta pouted. "I don't want to! Restart the movie! I wanna see it too!"
Denji raised an eyebrow. "Hah? You wanna have tons of nightmares again?"
The girl snuck a glance at Ayumu, and glared at Denji. "T-that never happened! Now let me watch the dumb movie already!"
Denji relented. "Fine... Don't complain' later though." He shifted his gaze towards Ayumu. "Sorry, I guess we gotta start from the beginnin'." Something which Denji didn't seem excited to do at all.
Who knew his friend was such a movie snob? It wasn't that bad...
Ayumu just sent him a thumbs up. "Sounds good to me." And so they restarted the experience.
If before the movie hadn't been scary because it was day, now it wasn't scary because of the chaotic feeling in the apartment. There were tons of dogs running around after all, and Ayumu couldn't even begin to imagine how Denji had acquired permission to have so many pets in this type of accommodation.
It also didn't help that Nayuta was constantly talking during the movie. "Kyahahahaha! That guy is so stupid!" She started elbowing Ayumu, repeatedly. "Ain't he!? Ain't he!? Ain't he!?"
She had surprisingly strength, so he had to hide a wince. "Yeah..."
Denji shushed. "Nayuta, no talkin' during a movie!" His friend's tone of voice suggested this was a matter of life or death.
She huffed, but acquiasced. So they returned to the movie...
Until she started laughing again. "Wow! Who would get scared of stuff like this!" She poked Ayumu's cheek. "You're a scaredy cat! Ain't you!? Ain't you!?"
Ayumu suddenly understood why Denji was tired all the time. "Yeah. I'm constantly terrified."
She snorted. "Hah! Just stay behind me then, pathetic weakling—!"
"Na-yu-ta! Ya gotta stay silent durin' movies! That's like... a rule of the universe!" Once more, her big brother scolded her.
She blushed. "I-I got it already." Did she though? "So stop embarrassing me...!" After she complained, they went back to watching the movie.
This time they actually managed to watch the movie until the end. Although Nayuta would occasionally hum to herself, clearly having way too much energy to just stand still for an entire movie.
"Okay! That was great! Let's watch the next one!" Shd was about to receive some bad news.
Ayumu chuckled. "There isn't a next one, I'm afraid." This was never meant to be something long.
He got to hang out with Denji a bit, and to see if there was anything crazy suspicious about his friend. In the end, Detective Ayumu concluded that even if Denji was Chainsaw Man, he was still Denji. So everything should be alright.
Her eyes widened. "Seriously? Already?"
He began getting uo and nodded. "Yeah, I only rented one movie." He didn't know Denji's family was composed of cinephiles. Next time he would rent more than just one movie.
Nayuta pouted. "Then go and rent another one! Now!"
Ayumu had to hold back laughter. "Maybe another time." What a spoiled little princess. Who was maybe a devil.
Her expression twisted in frustration. "It's an order...!" And she slowly began lifting her hand.
Which Denji switftly lowered it. "You sure are actin' even more bossy than normal today..." So this wasn't just a normal Nayuta, it was a super Nayuta!
A sigh escaped his mouth. "Nayuta, renting movies ain't cheap. You can't just ask him to rent more." Denji pat her head. "Just be glad he brought anythin' to begin with." That's right!
Not only had Ayumu brought the movie, but he had also paid for the food! In such circumstances, he was basically God! Could he really say that with an angel inside of him? Would he get punished by the heavens?
Nayuta snorted while looking at Ayumu. "You're broke? Pitiful."
Denji's jaw hit the floor. "We're the broke ones!" And now Ayumu couldn't resist laughing anymore.
Which apparently made Nayuta angry. "W-what's so funny!?" She was pointing her finger at him as if it was a gun. Considering she could be a devil, it might actually have been one.
He took a deep breath to recompose himself. "At nothing Nayuta. You're just a really charming girl." Mostly because she made Denji frustrated.
That completely turned her frown upside down. "Hah! And you're a uncharming boy!" However, instead of just taking the compliment, she decided to once again be competitive against him.
Denji hadn't been lying when he said she was a brat. Or maybe it was Ayumu's smell making her uncomfortable? Asa's lookalike clearly didn't like how... sweet he supposedly smelled, and Denji thought it was too strong as well.
It didn't matter in the end, at her age being like this was cute, not annoying. "True, I could never come up with something as amazing as the... fart chart." He was snickering as he talked.
She tilted her head. "The f-fart chart...?" Oh?
Denji pointed at himself, anger overtaking his face. "Don't give her all the credit! It was a joint effort, right Nayuta!?" She did not respond.
Because she was currently staring at the fart chart, her eyes screaming that she was having PTSD attack that could break any man. Maybe Ayumu shouldn't have pointed the existence of the chart out? At the end of things, Nayuta was still a girl, after all.
After a few moments, she returned to reality. "Nope, I had nothing to do with it." She spoke with no emotion. "It was all Denji. Any presence of mine when relating to that chart is completely fabricated."
Denji tilted his head. "Hah...? No it wasn't—."
"Shut up!" After letting out her frustration, the girl ran away. More specifically, to the bathroom, since she didn't have her own room.
Denji scrunched his eyebrows together. "Seriously, what the hell bit her today?"
Ayumu smirked. "I can't talk about her whole behavior, but I can guess why this outburst happened." Having a... fart chart with your brother was one thing, a stranger seeing it was a completely different matter.
He looked at the door of the bathroom. "Reasons aside though, I think we should leave her, give her some space, or she's gonna grow up to be crazy."
Denji shrugged. "Sure. But since when were you the little girl expert?"
Ayumu was already leaving. "Never say those words again Denji. Please." The police wouldn't hesitate for a second before arresting him!
The two boys leaned against the fence of the apartment complex, just relaxing.
Denji took a deep breath, and put a hand on his neck. "Hey... um... Thanks for comin' today. It was fun." Wow, he rarely ever got to see the delinquent-looking boy show his softer side. "I've been stressed lately, so I needed that."
Ayumu waved him off. "I should be the one thanking you. I was stressed too before I came here." But not about the angel stuff, funnily enough. "Next time I'll try to find a better movie though, since I'm pretty sure you didn't like this one."
Denji lightened up. "It's a'ight. Bad movies make you appreciate good movies more." He really was a cinephile.
People truly did show new sides of them when you least expected. Even though he knew Denji for a long while, it was only now that he was learning about that fun tidbit. And also about the chainsaw dog guy.
It made him wonder... maybe he should open up too?
"Denji... I have something to tell you."
"Spit it out."
Ayumu took a deep breath. "I got a girlfriend."
"Gah!?" His friend almost fell from the complex.
But Ayumu wasn't over. "And I cheated on her." Maybe he should fall off the complex. On purpose. He still wasn't sure how he was supposed to go about this.
"Ah...!?" His friend was looking at him as if he was crazy.
Ayumu sighed. "You wouldn't get it. Since you never had a girlfriend and all." Um? Since when did this turn into a bragging session? "But I have woman throwing themselves at me in droves, my popular phase started."
Denji rolled his eyes. "Screw yourself. For a second I almost believe ya." Hoh? Denial sure was special. "No way you can get a girlfriend before me! That's like impossible."
Ayumu squinted his eyes. "Oh yeah?"
"Hell yeah!" His friend was grinning from ear to ear. "You just don't have it like I do!"
And now Ayumu didn't feel bad about bragging. "Would you be willing to put your metaphorical money where your mouth is? That is to say, you're willing to bet on that, buddy?"
Denji snorted. "Sure! I'll do your homework for a week... no, a year if you get a girlfriend before me!" He rose the stakes really quickly! "Naturally, if I do it's the reverse! That okay with ya!"
The boy extended a open hand, Ayumu shook it. "That's okay with me. Does the bet have an end date though?"
Denji thought on it for a moment, and then nodded. "Yeah. It's until the end of high school. If we both fail, we kill ourselves." Understandable. "Good luck, you'll need it—."
"Denji, I wasn't lying about getting a girlfriend and then cheating on her." It went without saying that this bet was completely worthless.
Denji didn't even do his own homework after all.
And speaking of him, it looked like he was considering that ultimate loss condition he talked about. "Really?"
"Really." A bond had been betrayed.
At least Ayumu got to get his scumbaggery out of his chest, so that was good.
Comments
RJKY
The fart chart was peak fiction.
