FakeKing
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As It Turns Out 10
🕑 Added 2024-09-18 14:14:06 +0000 UTC"Oh! I'm so excited! I cannot wait to visit your home, husband."
Elroy chuckled. "If I were you, I would temper my expectations." If she didn't, she would be severly disappointed. "Seriously, that place is super cramped." As one would expect from quite possibly Vale's cheapest apartment.
Penny giggled. "That just means being I will be as close to you as I want, a victory in my books, as Ruby would say!"
Yep, she was gonna be disappointed. "It's less that you can be as close to me as you want, and more like you're gonna be forced to get close to me..." He shook his head, getting rid of those thoughts. "But you will see what I'm talking about once we get there."
For now they had to collect their stuff, which is why they were back in team RWBY's dorm. And more specifically, his stuff. Penny didn't really any luggage, something they would need to fix over time. Even if it made her staying in his small apartment more convenient.
Speaking of team RWBY's dorm however... "And maybe we should clean this mess before we go..."
As one would expect, having six people staying here had made the room immensely disorganized. It wasn't exactly super great when Elroy had arrived, but it had certainly become worse these past few days.
Penny started excitedly shaking. "Oh! A fine idea, husband!" A nice little way to give back to team RWBY!
"I'm glad you agree, Penny." It shouldn't take too long. Hopefully.
And so they began their work. Elroy moving with the experience of a normal independent person, and Penny moving with the enthusiasm of a girl who really wanted to help their friends.
Eventually they stopped. "Husband, it seems we have an emergency..."
He nodded, glaring at his biggest enemy. "Yeah, I know. Do we re-establish the bunk beds, or just make normal beds...? I vote for the latter by the way." Ah, if Penny disagreed they would need to find a third party.
"I am not talking about the beds. It seems team RWBY received mail!"
He turned around to look at her. "Huh?" And saw that Penny was carrying a huge box. "When did that arrive?"
Penny shrugged. "I do not know. Perhaps it arrived during the morning and we were too distracted having that argument about whether Beowolfs were weak enough to lose their classification as Grimm?"
He looked away. "It was more like an argument between you and Yang, really." Although it was an amazing enough spectacle that he had been forced into watching!
Penny pouted. "I just do not understand her point! Why would personal strength matter? There are plenthy of very weak Grimm and—."
He cut her off. "Yeah, Penny, I get you." He actually didn't care. "Anyways, about the box... I guess we should just put it in a corner and ignore it. If it's not meant for us, then it's not meant for us."
Well, maybe for safe keeping they could take it to his apartment. Elroy would probably send a message to team RWBY about it, and hope that they were in a environment where they could answer.
Penny slowly lowered the box. "Very well!" They should indeed care about the privacy of their friends, or wives in Elroy's case. "I must say however, I am very curious about the creature inside the box..." She would just need to wait for team RWBY to get back. What a shame.
He scrunched his eyebrows together. "The... what?"
"The creature inside the box."
He paled. "Penny, is there something alive there...?" No way right? And even if there was, she was probably talking about some poor bug that had gotten lost in the packaging.
Penny confirmed yet again to Elroy, that if gods were real, they were cruel. "Yes, and a large animal at that. I heard him him breathing when I held the bo—."
Elroy screeched. "Holy fuck, we have to open that right now!" Who the hell sent something like that to team RWBY!? Why even!? Was this some weird racist thing and he would find a cat inside or something!?
He basically threw himself at the box, tearing it open as fast as he could.
Penny frowned. "And what of team RWBY's privacy...?" Sometimes she felt like her friends ignored rules when it was convenient to do so.
From the now opened mail leaped out...
"A dog. Some fucking psychopath send a dog through the mail..." He immediately hugged the poor thing. "Don't worry little baby, it's gonna be okay now, we are gonna find whoever did this and get them arrested for animal abuse."
The dog's answer was licking Elroy in the face.
Penny kneeled down and started analyzing the opened mail. "It seems it was not only a dog that was sent..."
Elroy became paralyzed. "Penny, you better not they somehow fit another animal in there..."
She picked up a piece of paper from the mail, got up, and then shook her head. "There are no other animals, but there is a bunch of food. And also this letter." She waved the letter around.
Elroy tilted his head. "I... What's the letter about?" Probably some psychopathic rant that would forever corrupt Penny... Maybe he shouldn't let her read it.
Alas, it was too late. "Oh! It is from Ruby and Yang's father!"
Elroy's eyes widened. "It is!?" As he shouted, it was almost like the dog tried hugging him back, as if to calm him down.
She nodded. "Yes! It appears that he is leaving his home for some time. He has sent the dog here so that team RWBY may take care of him." What unfortunate timing! Team RWBY was in a mission!
Somehow Elroy became even more pale. "Is he insane...?" He was definitely insane! "I... Penny, take care of the doggy for a bit!" He handed the poor thing over to her.
Her face became completely serious. "I shall defend him with my life, husband!"
"Great." She better! Now as for what he should do in this situation... call team RWBY probably, and just hope that they weren't super busy with something. And also hope that they actually had signal.
He took out his old scroll, and dialed Ruby... who picked it up, in a stroke of luck. "Hey Elroy..." She sounded strange.
"Ruby! I have an emergency!" Maybe that wasn't the best way to greet her.
But she didn't seem to bothered. "Um? Really? Then why don't you call Blake instead? Since apparently she's just the greatest little special princess that has ever existed!" By the end her voice had cracked. It was embarassing.
"Uh... Should I do that? Are you busy right now?" He could tell she was mad of course, but he didn't have the time to worry about that when he needed to do something about the dog.
Ruby immediately walked back. "N-no, calling me was the right decision, I'm just a little mad at you, 'kay!?" But she could ignore that pretty easily if there was an emergency...
Ah! There was an emergy! Who cared about Blake!? "Oh no! What happened!? Did the White Fang capture you!? Did you actually enter a life crippling debt!? Did Penny decide that humanity is inferior and should be purged!?" The last one sounded like the easiest to handle.
Elroy did not know what to say. "N-none of those Ruby... Why did you even mention the White Fang?" Well, he was married to Weiss Schnee, but that wasn't public knowledge just yet.
Ruby started stuttering. "N-no reason! A-anyways, I'm also not on a super dangerous mission or anything l-like that, so no reason to worry!" She almost gave the game away! "Emergency though! Talk please!"
Suddenly the dog was losing his spot as Elroy's number one priority. "Ruby... I..." Well, they had a Huntsman with them. It would be fine. "Look, your dad send a dog through the mail."
"Zwei!? He's there!?" Awesome!
Elroy nodded. "Yeah." At least he knew the dogs name. "I... I'm gonna be honest, I don't know what to do."
Ruby chuckled. "Don't worry, this is all sounding crazy to you, but—. Weiss, you cannot have the phone! Team leader orders! Where is your professionalism!? Ah! Please don't kill me while calling me a hypocrite!" Her voice drifted out.
Elroy's eye twitched.
Eventually a new voice talked through the phone. "Hey buster, what's up...?" It was Yang, and there was definitely disguised anger in her voice. "Did you miss Blake or something...?"
Elroy pinched his nose. "Your d—."
"Please don't leave me! I don't know what I did wrong, but I can change!" Yang cracked in a second, without even being pressured.
Penny was patting Zwei's head. "Is the call going well, Elroy?" It was not.
Before Elroy could respond to Yang, Ruby snatched up the scroll again. "Sorry for that! Everyone is... erm... pretty tense right now. So, about Zwei, no need to worry about him, he has Aura and stuff, so sending him by mail is just cheaper."
He really would never understand Huntsman culture. "I see... What am I supposed to do with him though?" Besides calling him the most precious boy in the entire world that is.
Ruby sounded apologetic. "Can you take care of him for a bit...? I think our mission might take some time. Like... weeks." Ah, she was already missing Elroy... and nothing else. Screw studying.
He scrunched his eyebrows together. "Yeah, I can do that, but... my apartment is pretty small. I don't think it's a place for a dog to stay." Not to mention how he wasn't even allowed to take pets there in the first place.
Ruby hummed. "Well, that's complicated... but I think team JNPR will be back by tomorrow, or even today at late night, so you can pass Zwei up on them." Jaune would accept it. Probably. Hopefully.
Elroy sighed. "That sounds fine..." But even a day in his apartment would already make Zwei sad! Unacceptable! "By the way Ruby, can I ask Ozpin to stay in you guy's dorm for tonight? So I can better take care of Zwei..."
It would definitely mess up his commute for work, and he would end up late, but... it couldn't be helped. A innocent animal's well being was far more important than his work after all!
Ruby sounded surprised. "Uh... sure! That's totally okay! Honestly, as far I'm concerned you can stay there forever!" Or at least until she graduated! "A-anyways gotta go! Grimm and stuff! Take care!" And like that she ended the call.
Penny repeated the question she had made before. "Did the call go well?"
"More or less."
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"Hey..." Elroy awkwardly greeted Jaune, who had come to answer the door.
The poor Huntsman-In-Training still looked half-asleep. "Hey Elroy." And he didn't like to see the luckiest man in the planet right in the morning. "Hey Penny." Penny was nice though. He liked Penny.
More importantly however... "Why are you guys carrying a dog?" Or at Elroy was at least.
Elroy's smile twitched. "So..." Now that he was actually here to request help, it made him feel a lot more awkward than he thought. "This is Ruby and Yang's dog. His name is Zwei." The dog barked.
"Cool." Jaune liked dogs.
Elroy looked down, a blush appearing on his face. "This is gonna sound a bit crazy, but..." Wasn't it awful to ask something like this of then when team JNRP had just come back from a mission!?
He looked at his wife. "Penny, support please." She was never embarassed of anything, so she wouldn't hesitate to ask something like this.
The robot pat his back. "Of course husband!" But that's all she did.
He sighed. "Jaune, I'm really, really sorry to ask this, but I need you to take care of Zwei for a few days..." Huh, the Penny support actually helped. Surprising! "I would do it, but my apartment is super cramped and—."
"It's alright dude, I'll handle it." Jaune honestly didn't mind. "Besides I'm sure everyone is gonna love him." Especially...
Nora. "Why do I hear the beautiful sounds of a beautiful animal!?"
Jaune chuckled and pointed at the door. "Let's come in."
Elroy nodded. "Sure..." He was going to be so late for work...
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Nora was playing with Zwei. "We'll take care of him! We totally will! And I might also steal him from team RWBY!" A rare moment when her archnemesis actually did something good for once.
Elroy smiled. "You guys have my eternal thanks... If something happens to him just give me a call." They had tons of food for him, but if something else was needed... then Elroy would use his savings.
Jaune smiled back. "You're welcome. Huntsmen like me and my team?" He pointed at himself. "We help people. We help them until they just can't accept help from anyone else!"
Ren sighed. "I do not believe that makes much sense."
Penny raised a hand. "It does. Allow me to explain, your team leader is most likely suggesting how he makes people dependent on him and only him. Perhaps he does this by eliminating competitio—."
Jaune sputtered. "No, I'm with Ren here! I said nonsense!" He was just proud that their first mission had gone super well.
And sure, it hadn't involved any combat with Grimm, but he still felt good. Because Jaune Arc had actually accomplished a mission! He had taken another step towards becoming a Huntsman! Nothing could ruin his good mood!
Elroy chuckled. "I don't know, I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to always believe my wife..." Penny nodded without a hint of irony. "Jokes aside though, I'm serious with my gratitude. I owe everyone here a big favor."
Jaune grinned. "You can thank me by making Weiss happy."
"S-sure...?" Was he still on about her?
Jaune slumped. "Sorry, I regretted as soon as I said it. Just buy lunch for us someday or something."
Pyrrha couldn't help, but giggled. "Yes, that would be adequate." Was it bad that she felt good about Jaune's chances with Weiss being completely and utterly ruined? It definitely was, wasn't it?
Elroy stretched. "That sounds good... I gotta go though, sorry." He looked down. "I have to rush to work."
Penny gave them a salute. "And I must follow him, so that I may protect him from danger, should that arise!" She thought a bit more. "And also because I enjoy spending time with my husband."
Elroy flinched. "I... just hope my boss likes you." He just knew saying no to Penny would be impossible. She was weirdly instant about things like these.
She was even forcing him to carry his weapon around. People at work would freak out!
Pyrrha let out a sigh. "You two are so adorable together..." She hoped to be like that with someone one day.
Jaune pouted. "Yeah, just adorable..." He hoped they would have a messy soul divorce. Whenever that was invented.
Penny tilted her head. "Um? Do you two wish to start a relationship with Elroy?" She picked both of their arms with surprising strength. "In that case, just touch him!" And then she proceeded to force them.
Elroy began apologizing immediately, a blush of embarassment on his face. "I'm sorry for her behavi—." But he stopped himself.
First Jaune pulled back his hand, scowling. "Not into dudes."
Pyrrha however... "Oh." She felt it, power running through her body, eventually concentrating a top of her heart, on her chest. "I-I think I'm gonna cry..."
Elroy felt it too, a weird sensation running through his body. It didn't hesitate at all to find its spot, concentrating around his neck.
Jaune looked between the two of them. "Cry!? Did something happen!?" Did Penny pull her arm too hard or something!? Now way, right!? Pyrrha was a Huntress! And one of the strongest in the entire world even!
Pyrrha... actually did start crying. "I-I'm so happy that I don't actually know what to say..."
Jaune gulped. "Happy!? Seriously, what happened...!?"
Elroy's gasped. "We... Soul Bonded." S-six women. He was now married to six women. He was already struggling with five, but now there was a new one to deal with. Could he maybe awaken a clone Semblance? Like, right now?
Jaune's face was filled with shock. "Like... seriously...?"
Pyrrha threw herself at Elroy. "I love you! I love you so much!" Destiny had smiled upon her! She had faced enough downs to get to the ups! She was now a married woman! She had Soul Bonded just like her grandparents!
Elroy fell to the ground. "Oof...!" Yep, this was a Soul Bond alright.
Jaune grit his teeth. "I don't know how to feel about this." He wasn't even jealous. Just kind of surprised. Did Elroy have magnets on his soul or something? Did the legendary Ozma Soul Bond with this many people?
Ren smiled. "I believe we should feel happy. Congratulations Pyrrha." Not that the redhead was listening, seeing as she was crying all over Elroy.
Penny raised her arms in victory. "Congratulations indeed! This is wonderful!" Maybe she should start making every woman in the street touch Elroy! That was sure to go swell if this was an indicator!
Nora squinted her eyes. "Team JNPR now has a mole..." And then she quickly went back to playing with Zwei, who was clearly more important than this mess.
Elroy tried recomposing himself. "Pyrrha..." How did one ask their new wife to stop crying on his shirt? And also to get up?
He immediately got her attention. "Yes, Elroy!?" She decided right there and then. She would be the perfect wife. She was a perfectionist after all, so it was only natural.
"You're kind of hurting me right now..." Just a little bit.
She jumped off, almost hitting her head on the roof. "I'm so sorry!" She had barely gotten married and she was already commiting domestic abuse!? Maybe she deserved being a spinster!
He began getting up. "No need to apologize for anything, I know this is pretty... shocking." He would know, he had now experienced it six times! "But first things first, we should probably go to the headmaster and—." He felt it.
Blake asking for his aura. Which he gave of course.
Pyrrha's eyes widened. "W-what's wrong!? Did you hit your head when you fell!?" Should she take him to a hospital!? Or Beacon's infirmary!? But what if that wasn't enough!?
Jaune muttered to himself. "We can only hope..."
Elroy shook his head. "No, I'm fine, it's just that... I think something is up with Blake..." He closed his eyes.
In front of him there were six shining paths. Purple. Yellow. Blue. Red. Green. And then another shade of green. Strangely, the purple path seemed to be slowly losing its glimmer...
He opened his eyes, and he was no longer on Beacon. "Uh..." In fact, he didn't know where the fuck he was.
Some kind of underground system? There were buildings around though... Remembering good ol' history class, he wanted to guess that he was in some part of Mountain Glenn? That sounded absurd though.
Not that the location mattered, what mattered was the situation.
Blake was on the ground, presumably passed out. She... and now him as well, were surrounded by White Fang. One of them being a massive man with a chainsaw. Not that he cared much since they were also surrounded by those giant Paladins that Atlas loved to brag about.
And Roman Torchwick was also there, because of course he was.
He grinned. "Uh indeed my friend!" He began tapping his cane on the ground. "Teleportation Semblance? You the kitty's teammate? What a poor, poor unlucky man..." That lack of luck maybe also explained his shirt. It was a mess!
Elroy was as pale as one could be. "And if I am...?" He put a hand on his weapon. Not that he could beat Roman Torchwick of all people.
The man had evaded and defeated actual full fledged Huntsman. Elroy's piss poor Aura control and the little he knew of how to use a rapier certainly would not be enough to defeat the man... and the White Fang... and the giant robots.
But maybe, just maybe he could somehow make a hole in their encirclement, pick up Blake, and then use Ruby's Semblance to get the fuck away. He didn't have any experince with it, but it was a do or die situation, so it didn't matter.
Roman chuckled. "Well, it doesn't matter if you are or aren't. Honestly? I don't even know why I'm talking with you." He twirled his cane around. "Maybe because I'm in a good mood? I do get to kill two birds with one cane right now."
Elroy drew his rapier. "Move aside, or I'll cut you down."
Roman's eyes widened. "Are you threatening me? Seriously?" He looked around. "Kid, just in case you have bad spatial awareness, I have giant robots. By the way, bad spatial awareness is an awful trait for a Huntsman, work on fixing that in your next life."
Elroy nodded. "Indeed, I cannot defeat every person here... but I can kill many." He absolutely fucking couldn't. "Alternatively, I can grab my friend, leave, and then you won't hear about me or her again."
Roman's jaw had hit the floor. "Kid... you have awful taste in friends. Seriously." He raised an eyebrow. "Gotta say, didn't expect that from someone who's friends with the kitty, I mean she's always so, so—."
The chainsaw wielding man stepped up. "The traitor's gotta die, Torchwick."
Roman sighed. "Correction, you animal. The traitor... and her little diplomatic friend, have to be interrogated." He bowed. "Sorry kid, but as long as you don't resist the torture, it will still be traumatic as hell, but not as bad as it could be!"
And that was enough for Elroy.
He picked up Blake, called for Ruby's Semblance, and then tried to make a run for it. Thankfully the leader of team RWBY did not deny his ask, so maybe he had a chance to...!
"Neo!"
A girl appeared in front of him.
Elroy didn't really care, he had already prepared himself to cut through whatever stood in his way, so he tried slashing at her with his weapon. It would be an awkward process to do while carrying someone, but...!
The girl dodged without issue, and grabbed his arm while smirking. Elroy had a feeling he was about to discover how a broken arm felt like, though he did desperately cover his entire body with aura... or at least he tried to.
But a familiar feeling ran through his body... it ran wildly, not as uncontrollable as with Penny, but definitely with more chaos than the rest of team RWBY. Eventually it settled upon his back.
The girl gave a silent scream, and instead of breaking his arm, kicked him away. He landed of the floor with a painful thud, and so did the unconscious Blake.
Roman had yet to realize what had happened. "Man, they don't make brats like they used to." That was just a shameful performance! With a swing that weak the brat looked like a Signal student.
He continued. "But they sure make them more romantic!" The brat used little red's Semblance... so either he copied it somehow, or... "It looks like I get to kill three birds with one cane! My lucky day, isn't that right Neo?"
But to his surprise, Neo didn't immediately agree. Really, she just looked absolutely panicked right now...
And a panicked Neo was never good. "Neo...?" Did the brat do something...?
Neo opened her mouth, and showed her tongue. It now had a tattoo. One that was not there before.
A Mark. "Damn it..." Maybe it was actually a unlucky day.
Comments
Ricardo Torres II
Love it
SanMarco Geddes
Bro absolutely love this story so far, keep up the great work!
Deus
Rest in Piss Yato I found my new favorite story. Unfathomably based and Neopilled decision FakeKing keep cooking
Some Guy
Neo is here hell yeah!
Laplase
The Man is gonna be the most protected person on Remnant with all his strong wives but, I hope he can get OP on his own to protect them too.
Iori Daemona Angel
The chapter got chaotic real fast lol
