FakeKing
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I Just Want To Abuse My Power 54
🕑 Added 2024-09-05 11:36:15 +0000 UTC"Crimes! Explain!" As soon as he left the room, Laeticia began poking his chest.
He had been right, she really was waiting outside. She didn't seem like the type who would purposely evasdrop on people, but he was glad he had kept his tone down nonetheless.
He looked away. "Sorry, I can't say. It's a guy thing." Kind of. "And don't worry, everything went well and Kotomine gave me surprisingly good advice. I think. I have to contemplate a little more before making my decision."
She pouted. "A guy thing...?" The tomboy saint withing her was now mad! "Also, saying you accepted Kotomine's advice is... worrying." She shouldn't be talking like that about a priest, but... it was Kotomine!
He shrugged. "Not really accepted it. More like... really listened to it." Maybe. Sort of. Not really. "Anyways, gotta go."
The girl sigh. "Ugh... you... fine. Just make sure to remember that you need to at least try to do the right thing. Always. It's okay to fail, but you have to try. This also means you have to try to not do the wrong thing." What was he, a baby!? He understood basic morality!
He totally did! "I'm not gonna rob a bank you know..."
She blushed. "Well, you were talking like you were!" He totally wasn't!
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"We meet once again, King of Japan." It was funny, as soon as he walked a bit away from the church, his target showed up, Gilgamesh.
He wanted the man's advice, but he had no idea of where he was. So his original plan was going to Skadi and asking her to track him down... Thankfully he showed up and made everything a lot more convenient. Especially since Yato imagine Skadi would not be happy at having to find the man who summoned her. She had forgiven and accepted Yato a long time ago, but he did not know if the same thing applied to Gilgamesh, after all.
Yato smiled. "Hey man! Good to see ya! How have you been?" He wondered what the golden kind did to pass the time.
"I drink wine." How did he know!? "And yes, I have been quite well... to a certain extent. I had been expecting a great battle between you and the Sun Goddess, and yet I saw no such thing. Why is that the case, King of Japan?"
Yato waved him off. "Eh. Honestly, I wanted one too, but she just kind of ended up being my sex slave..." He grit his teeth. "Who still hasn't done the sexing thing." Something was seriously wrong with this world!
The golden king snorted. "Do you plan on turning all divinities in your way into concubines?" He could respect that.
The Campione shrugged. "Only the cute ones." Yes, Gilgamesh could definitely respect that. "By the way, I need some advice. If you don't mind handing it out." Yes, the gaining advice first from Kirei and then from Gilgamesh. A great combination.
Gilgamesh laughed. "I am made of wisdom, and I indeed do not mind handing it out. Why do you even think we happened to meet, King of Japan?" Naturally he had come looking for him specifically.
He had to wait for him to leave the church however. Getting too close to the saint was dangerous... well, not really, but Gilgamesh would rather not stir the pot in another man's city. He would leave that for Yato.
Yato scratched his cheek, confused. "Because of coincidence...?"
Gilgamesh chuckles. "Believe what you wish. Anyhow, let me say what you need in case you wish to be a king... Do what you want! Don't listen to other people like a fool!" By the end his smile had been replaced by a scowl.
Yato tilted his head. "Huh? I haven't even told you what this is about yet..." Though from what Yato knew, it would be just like Gilgamesh to suddenly start screaming about king stuff with zero context.
The golden kind clicked his tongue. "Did you not hear? I am made of wisdom. I know what advice you seek... It relates to your harem right? About marriage?" And he had a lot of advice to give when it concerned marriaged.
Yato flinched. "Yeah..." How did he know!? Seriously!? Could it be... that Gilgamesh was a creepy stalker!?
Ew. He would only accept girl stalkers!
Gilgamesh continued, either unaware of Yato's concerns, or simply not caring. "So, as I was saying, a king does not listen to rabble. Clean your ears from whatever filth you have heard and go back to your normal routine."
Yato scowled. "Okay, so even I can tell there are some stuff you said that was wrong. Isn't a king supposed to listen to his advisors and stuff? That's like... something all kings did, right?" At least all good ones.
"And besides, if I shouldn't listen to people, then I shouldn't listen to you, but then I can't take your advice, meaning I should listen to people, but then I take your advice, meaning I shouldn't listen to people!" Woah, a paradox...
Gilgamesh raised an eyebrow. "You are falling into a pitfall, King of Japan. Just don't think too hard about it, and do whatever your heart desires." Wasn't that what Kirei had basically said as well...
But he had added some stuff about being a Campione or not...
Yato put a hand on his head. "But right now my heart doesn't desire following itself... I want to... I want the people I know to be happy. I think. Maybe. Also, I don't buy that thing about not thinking too hard."
He continued. "I mean, I'm never thinking too hard, and even I found it wrong. So... like... you are asking me to not think at all, which is theorically impossible unless I'm dead." Maybe he could pull it off with some effort...
Gilgamesh's eye twitched. "You...!" He took a deep breath. "Is this how the gods felt when they looked upon me?" He then shook his head. "Well, it matters not. I have given you the advice of a king, from one to another."
"However, if it's advice about Yato that you seek... perhaps I am not the best one to give you." Of course it was advice about himself that he sought!? What was this guy on!?
Gilgamesh put a hand on his chin. "Hm.... If you wish to hear this, perhaps the common man is the best one to say it." He nodded to himself. "Yes, that man will be useful. Especially since he's so great at guiding the young. A surprising talent."
Yato's eye twitched. "What are you muttering to yourself about?" He had gained a lot of respect for Gilgamesh after the Skadi thing, but now he was wondering if the king actually deserved it.
He was probably crazy, and also probably a stalker after all. Maybe Yato should get a restraining order to protect himself...
Gilgamesh glared at him. "A king does not mutter to himself. He thinks out loud." Sure... "Ignoring that, hear me King of Japan, go towards the Fuyuki Bridge. There you shall receive your answers... as long as you tell him that he must speak the truth, lest he dishonors his king's name."
Yato squinted. "Are you telling me to go meet a creep or something?" Should he call an adult? Or he could handle this by himself! And if it was a woman, he could turn the tables on her...
Gilgamesh waved him no. "I wouldn't see you towards a trap, that is unfit for someone of my station." Unless he felt like doing it, then it was okay. "Now leave. Follow my advice or not, I do not care." The old king had spoken.
If this new age king chose to listen, or chose to ignore this advice... it was up to him. Gilgamesh would not force his hand. Especially because he himself would rather if the boy did not go, and followed his previous advice of only caring about himself.
Yato nodded. "Okay then, guess I'm going home." And by that he meant he was going back to the hotel. Then he was gonna try to contact Waver for advice, it shouldn't be too hard.
Gilgamesh immediately stopped him. "You are going home!? Did I just not give you advice, King of Japan!?"
Yato looked away. "Yeah, you did. But you also said I didn't need to follow it so... I ain't following it."
"Follow my advice!"
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In the end, Yato decided to follow what the golden kind had said. Mostly because he felt he owed the guy somewhat. He had given him a top-tier concubine in the form of Skadi after all.
Though now that he got here... "Ugh, I see nothing special." Maybe Gilgamesh just wanted him to waste his time? That sounded like what a weirdo stalker would do.
"Lord Shibata! I have been looking for you!" Oh, Waver was here. Nice!
Yato raised a hand. "Wait a second man, I'm trying to see if I can see something special..." He squinted his eyes and looked over the horizon. "It's probably all shiny and gold. Make sure to tell me if you can spot it." Why didn't Gilgamesh give any description!?
Waver stopped in his tracks. "I... Okay." He actually began scanning the area, just like Yato had done.
Naturally the two didn't found a single thing, eventually a sigh left Yato's mouth. "You know what? Forget it. I think that guy was just making fun of me." And he was certainly going to pay for that one of these days...
He smiled. "So Waver, what ya doing in Fuyuki?" This was super convenient! Even more convenient than stumbling onto Gilgamesh! It was almost suspicious...
Waver bowed in respect. "I was searching for you, Lord Shibata, so that we may discuss the matter of your marriage." Oh, that thing. "Though I have heard some concerning things ever since I got here..."
Yato raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?" Did he have even more problems he needed to deal with?
Waver was trembling. "Well, from what I have heard your harem has more or less splintered? You were not even at your home, Lord Shibata."
Yato put a hand on his chin. "Ah, that's true. Though you shouldn't worry too much about it, I have been taking the steps to fix everything... With the power of dates!" Even if that strategy was in the backburner for now.
Waver blinked in confusion. "The power of... dates? That's news to me..."
Yato shrugged. "Basically, I'm individually calling the girls, and then going on dates with them. Which gets me their love! And then we go back to being all happy and stuff!" It also had the amazing side-effect of letting him kill Sakura's family.
Waver slowly nodded. "I see..." He did not.
First of all, he didn't really buy that they were in love with Yato in the first place. Mostly because he was a teenager who had gotten in bed with them due to his overwhelming raw power. Although he had to concede that some people would be attracted to that. Reines came to mind...
Leaving that aside however. "So Lord Shibata, may I ask exactly what you were looking for here?" If Waver was being honest with himself, he wanted to ask why Yato had recently used his authority.
However, he was actually afraid of that coming out as a bit too combative. So instead he would do his best to instead simply asking Yato what he had been up to in the past few days. Surely the usage of an authority would come up eventually.
And then after that was done, he could start to influence Yato into accepting the whole marriage thing. It would be a messy nightmare of course, but it was still better than the current situation, probably.
Yato raised a finger. "It's a pretty long story, but since you're nice I'll tell you." Waver was a bro like Gilgamesh, and yet he was not a stalker. Truly a powerful combination. "Okay, so I accidentally met this classmate of mine called Ayako... and she had the audacity to call my non-multiple wives rule stupid! I have a non-multiple wives rule by the way."
"Right... I actually visited your house before this and learned of it." His classmate had insulted him!? And yet Fuyuki still stood!?
It was in moments like this that Waver remembered that Yato was actually fairly great as far as Campione went. He certainly was far better than someone like Luo Hao.
Yato squinted his eyes. "Oh you did?" He shook his head. "Well, whatever." Was Waver a stalker too!? "So, since I didn't think completely changing my philosophy because of one girl would be wise, I went and consulted other people."
He continued. "The first one was this guy called Kirei Kotom—."
"Who!?" The priest!?
Well, Waver had surprisingly little against the bastard. The two had fought in the same war, but they hadn't exactly interacted much with each other. Still, hearing about that old conflict always made him feel nervous.
Yato waved him off. "I guess ya don't know him, but his daughter is part of my harem." He put a hand to chin. "She's terrifying, but since she's cute it's all good. Back to the advice thing though, Kirei said some stuff..."
"And then Gilgamesh said some stuff..." Both had been equally confusing.
Waver gasped. "Gilgamesh!?" And there it was. A name that brought way more terror into his mind than Kirei Kotomine ever could.
Yato had to be referring to someone else. Waver knew it was a bit delusional to think that, but for the sake of his own sanity he had now decided that Gilgamesh was a very common Japanese name, and that the King of Heroes wasn't walking around.
Yato tilted his head. "Another guy you don't know. He's like a super king or whatever." Damn it, not even Waver's delusional mind could deny that! "And he told me I should be super selfish and keep up my schtick."
Yeah that sounded like him... "D-did you listen to him...?" That would be bad. Really bad. This was Gilgamesh after all.
And speaking of that... It might be a little crazy, but Waver couldn't help, but wonder if perhaps he could talk Yato into confronting the Golden King and killing him.
It was common knowledge that Campione could not live in the same country, their egos always caused a fight. Maybe that could apply to Yato and Gilgamesh? The Golden King was basically a Campione in attitude, and arguably in power too.
But Waver could worry about that later. Especially since his mind was still processing Yato's casual admittance that Gilgamesh was just wandering around.
Yato shook his head. "Nah, I didn't. I mean, listening to his advice would just make my harem sadder."
That was... interesting. It meant the Campione was willing to at least try to change his attitude right? But if the answer was so obvious, why hadn't he arrived it at yet? Stupidity? Could be, but even Yato surely had his limits.
Yato sighed. "But then he said I should come here and look for something. I'm also apparently supposed to say that this thing should speak the truth is he doesn't want to dishonor his king. So I'm guessing it's a guy."
Waver's eye twitched. "Oh." That damned king had basically thrown the problem his way!? Hadn't it!?
But it's not like he knew what to tell Yato... No, he did know. He just didn't want to do it because Yato would kill him for it. Waver wasn't exactly suicidal.
But he definitely shouldn't hide from this. "I believe that refers to me, Lord Shibata." If he faked ignorance, there was always the chance of Gilgamesh appearing and showing his displeasure.
He did not know if that man was stronger than Yato or not. Waver was far too small to see their true size. What he did know is that Gilgamesh could act more like a Campione than Yato himself at times.
Yato's eyes widened. "Oh for real? Awesome. Then help me!"
Waver looked away. "The thing about that is... I might have to say some... uncomfortable things, Lord Shibata. They may displease you." And also the rest of Japan once Yato sunk it.
Yato smiled. "It's fine. You have my permission... no, my order to say it. As long as you're not insulting my parents I'll accept anything!" Mostly because at this point he was pretty desperate.
Waver took a deep breath. "Okay then, here it goes..." Was he really about to do this!? H-he couldn't do it! He was not that brave...!
And then suddenly he began imagining Yato if he looked like Flat. Things became a lot easier. "Have some common sense, you brat! Why are you even going around bothering people with something this stupid!?" He should stop, but now that he had started he could not.
Waver began letting out his stress. "Why are you complaining about taking multiple wives!? This is not some arranged marriage forced upon you, you were the one who sought them out! So just put a stupid ring on their finger and quit crying about dumb shit!"
He clenched his fists. "Seriously...! And if you don't wanna do that, then at least stop with these lame attempts at fixing the situation! Because people have been saying what you need to do, and it's something simple as hell!"
"But I know why you're refusing... It's out of petty pride, isn't!? You just don't want to admit you were wrong about this, so you're dragging it out like a dumbass!" Waver held himself back from punching him. "But your way isn't working! Your way was never gonna work! So either keep forcing it, or do what people have been telling you to do for ages now!" By the end Waver was struggling to breathe.
Yato blushed. "That's just like... your opinion. Man."
"Lord Shibata. Please."
"Yeah, I know."
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AN: There is now jizz on Waver's pants.
Comments
Deus
I unironically appreciate this arc for really showing how prideful Campione can be and showing the lengths Yato's specific brand of delusions can stretch but yeah hope it wraps up soon there's a tamamo that has been untouched for far too long
dad
I hope this arc is almost over, I've become about as annoyed as Waver was about it. Nothing much has actually happened for like, almost two months IRL time.
Yuval Roth
Divine waifus
jambas
Yato just abandon your harem and create harem 2.0 with the best girls: Waver, Kirei and Gilgamesh
DemiurgeMal
just lmao
Y. B. A.
Waver is the real MVP. Let's hope his intervention puts an end to this stupid arc. I honestly cheered when he lambasted Yato for... everything, really.
Pipeman
Yato's response at the end has utterly destroyed me.
