FakeKing
patreon
Sexually Harassing Heroines 02
🕑 Added 2024-06-04 12:37:44 +0000 UTC"Come Lucina! We must sell your very cool sword!" It was super expensive looking, so it would probably be worth a lot.
She was following him along. He had ended her forced paralyzes. "We will not just... sell Falchion!" Her ancestors would definitely haunt her! "And we have not finished discussing this marriage matter either!"
He grinned. "What is there to discuss? I proposed and you accepted it." Now they just needed to officially get married.
That wouldn't happen for a while though, considering he was so broke he needed to sell her super special shiny sword. Still, things would change eventually, and partners had to support each other through tough times like these.
Lucina seriously considered cutting him down. "No, you forced me to say yes!" And that obviously didn't count for anything.
Yuuma shook his head. "The goddess forced you to say yes. Can't you ses that this is a holy marriage approved by the Heavens themselves!? They have not struck me down, does that not say anything!?" It said they were super lazy.
They let some guy summon some super dragon and destroy a world by accident after all. It was clear that they didn't really give a shit about what he did with his amazing new power. Lucina didn't need to know that though.
Lucina grit her teeth in frustration.
And the worst part is that she couldn't really argue back. Lucina was extremely grateful for Naga, a goddess. So who was she to say that choosing this man had been a mistake?
Well, she had never met this goddess of his. So maybe he was lying, even if that was unlikely considering his power. Or alternatively he was actually a follower of a evil god.
For now however, Lucina decided to observe further. She wanted to know more about this so-called Demon King.
A sigh escaped her mouth. "Fine. I am indeed your fiancee." Did arguing with him even matter?
He was clearly insane to some degree, so he wouldn't change his mind so easily. At this point she might as well take the path of least resistance.
Yuuma smiled. "Ah, my succubus wife is so damn cute! Tsunderes are the best!" She didn't even know what a tsundere was.
She did know the meaning of succubus however. "Ugh, stop calling me that. I do not know how you have reached such a conclusion about me, but I'm a normal human woman." She hadn't even met a succubus during her life.
And considering the weird things she had seen, that meant a lot.
Yuuma shrugged. "You're clearly a succubus." He raised an finger. "First because I can only summon creatures. Humans are superior to all others, we would not be defined as creatures." Other things that wouldn't be creatures were elves and dwarves.
Lucina had plenty of non-human friends, so her reaction was instantaneous. "Do not speak such foul things in my presence, dastard!" Her patience was being tested.
Actually, he had broken through her limit all the way back in the alleyway.
Yuuma flinched. "G-got it... Sorry." Geez, why did he have to summon the super lawful good succubus!? Also, who the hell would say shit like dastard!?
"As long as you understand, you are forgiven." Honestly, for a man who wished to rely on the power of others, wasn't he a bit close minded?
Yuuma pouted. What was an adventure without a bit of fantasy racism!? This was so unfair...! Especially since elves got away with this shit all the time, but when a guy tried pulling it off suddenly it was awful!
"Forget that... Here's the other reason why you must be a succubus!" This one was the most solid logic of all time. "No other being could capture my heart as fast as you did!" It had been love at first sight!
"Suuuure..." That was unbelievably stupid.
And the worst part is that a healthy blush actually appeared on her cheeks from it. Was this a consequence of her non-existent experience with romance? That even such a foolish man... such a foolish child could make her heart beat faster?
It couldn't be helped however. Be it either because of her status, her seriousness, or the dire situation she used to exist in, Lucina had never been approached through a romantic angle.
So... So this didn't mean anything...!
The truth is that it really didn't, even if Lucina was unaware of it and the why of it. Yuuma's cheat was simple making the summoned creature slowly love their summoner, as it was advertised to do.
Yuuma pouted. "No need for that super sarcastic sure. Just admit you're a succubus already." Really, how hard it was to admit he was right?
Lucina rolled her eyes. "I won't dignify you with a answer. Just be ready to look like a fool once I prove my identity as a human." Hadn't she basically dignified him with an answer?
Now it was Yuuma's turn to roll his eyes. Why couldn't people admit when they were obviously wrong? This is why he became a NEET.
As they continued to walk, eventually Lucina interjected. "By the way Yuuma. Haven't we been in this place before? I recognize these streets." She was always aware of her surroundings.
Hajime wasn't really paying attention to his surroundings. "For real?" Now that she said, he did kind of recognize this place.
Lucina felt another headache coming. "Yuuma... are you lost? Were you not taking us to a merchant of some sort?" One who would apparently buy Falchion.
Yeah, over her dead corpse.
Yuuma looked down. "Well... I was just kind of hoping we would stumble onto a merchant. I mean, I'm new to this place too, ya know?"
She was going to turn him into a corpse.
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
"So what exactly do you two need?" The merchant they had found had the kindly face of an affectionate grandpa.
Both Lucina and Yuuma didn't buy it for a second. Nonetheless, this was the merchant that was recommended to them. Without a doubt this was a super experienced merchant who would pay as little as possible for whatever they had.
Still, this was the place that the random strangers they had talked to recommended. He was a merchant that would apparently buy whatever you had to sell, and naturally he also sold pretty much anything.
Both Lucina and Yuuma were wrong of course. The old man was of good character, which was probably why he was still a low level merchant stuck on the town of beginners.
Yuuma smiled. "We want to sell a sword. It's of pretty high quality."
Lucina glared at him. "We are not selling Falchion. That I promise you, Yuuma Abe." Oh, she said his full name. That definitely meant she was even more angry than usual.
He clicked his tongue. "Why are we having this arguement right now!? Are you seriously gonna start this in front of the merchant!?" In the end it didn't really matter when he could give her any order, but he still felt insulted.
"Start this right now? I have been saying ever since we met that I wasn't gonna be selling my sword. Dearie..." She said the last words with as much spite as she could.
Yuuma rolled his eyes. "What's so special about that piece of junk anyways!?" And then he realized he was still in front of the merchant. "I mean, it's very special, and therefore also very expensive."
Lucina huffed. "Falchion has been a family heirloom ever since the legendary hero Anri slayed the evil dra-." Yuuma covered her mouth with his hand.
"Yeah, I don't really care for fanfiction. Give me a reason why that thing is worth keeping when we so desperately need money." It better fire mountain sized light beams or something.
Lucina slapped his hand away and scowled. "It's very effective against dragons! Even the mightiest of those lizards would fall with but one swing!" She was exaggerating things of course, but Falchion was worthy of respect.
Yuuma growled... he was losing an argument!
Unless... "Hey Mister Merchant, does the Demon King have important dragons on his army?" For all he knew even the Demon King himself was a dragon. In that case, Lucina was right, Falchion was too good to be sold.
The merchant just wanted this couple to stop arguing already. "Um... yes? There are many powerful dragons among the Demon King's army."
Lucina's face immediately became smug. "See? We should keep Falchion."
But Yuuma wasn't done yet. "I don't mean fodder. I want to know if the Demon King and his closest allies are dragons or not." Anything could kill fodder, that's why they were fodder in the first place.
The merchant looked down. "T-the Demon King is no dragon... And he doesn't have any dragon generals either."
And so, it was Yuuma's turn to be smug. "See!? Falchion is useless...!" He looked at the merchant. "I mean, it's great! Wouldn't it be crazy to down a mighty dragon with one swing!? Surely that is worth a million Eris!" As he had learned, that was the name of this world's currency.
He didn't know if a million Eris was a lot yet, but he did know he needed at least two thousand Eris. He would need to pay for two Adventurer's Cards now that Lucina was here. If a succubus could even be an adventurer in the first place of course.
Lucina took a deep breath. "Falchion is not useless...!"
Yuuma raised an eyebrow in response. "Oh yeah? Name one thing it can do outside of that bum ass, Pokémon ass type advantage." Not that say that was truly useless or anything, but they really needed this money.
She had a answer to give immediately. Also, what was Pokémon? "There is never any need to repair the blade." Except for the hilt. And also, sometimes the sword just kind of started losing its blessings and you had to recharge with a complicated ritual and...
Look, you didn't need to repair it. Which came very in handy on a apocalypse, as Lucina had found out during her life.
And yet... Yuuma didn't seem very impressed. "Get that low-fantasy shit out of here! We are selling that damn thing!" Who cares about sword maintenance!? Unless it was a climatic battle, swords never broke anyways!
"We are not!" She had once heard Maribelle say all husbands were idiots. She had also heard Severa say all men were idiots.
Both were right, and somehow it was Yuuma's fault.
She continued. "Besides, only I can wield the Falchion anyways!" And that was that! Unless another member of her family wanted to purchase the weapon, selling it would essentially be a scam!
Yuuma flinched, but chuckled. "What a funny joke Lucina! Now never say it again!" He very much knew it was not a joke.
The merchant cleared his throat, getting their attention. He sent a smile towards Lucina. "Let me handle your lover, miss." He then gazed at Yuuma. "Listen here young man..."
Yuuma was sweating while awkwardly laughing. "Now my good man, I know I have been calling the Falchion useless, bu-." The merchant cut him off.
"Forget about that for a second young man, and instead listen to my tale." Great, exposition. "You see, I once had a wife... then she left me because of a similar thing to what you're doing." Ah, this exposition was even scarier than he expected!
He continued. "I understand that you feel the need to sell that sword, but it's clear that the weapon is dear to your lover. So be a man, and find another solution."
Yuuma pouted. "Look, I'm really sorry for your wife and all, but this is different." He puffed his chest in pride. "Lucina will never ever leave me after all!" Because she quite literally couldn't. Also, his personality was charming too or something.
The old man sighed. "I also used to think my wife would never leave me... Never make jokes about divorce by the way, it never ends well." That sounded... wise?
While Yuuma and the merchant argue, Lucina actually began putting her brain to work.
Another solution huh? Now that she thought about it, there were many if money was the only problem. However, Yuuma had frustratingly dragged her down to his level, and so she had put all her focus on arguin.
To make one follow his flow like that... It seemed she was wrong before, Yuuma Abe had his own form of charisma. And like everything associated with the man, it was absolutely awful. Owain would be green with envy.
Lucina raised her hands, and removed the tiara she always wore. "Excuse me, sir." She interrupt the merchant, who was scolding her foolish fiance. "Would you be willing to buy this?"
Yuuma gasped. "But that's...!" Lucina couldn't help, but be weirded out by his reaction.
The merchant smiled however. "Of course... but may I take a look at it first?" Lucina nodded and handed the tiara to the man.
To be honest, she didn't mind selling this at all. She had no true emotional attachment to it like she had to the Falchion, and the tiara wasn't anything special anyways. It also wasn't the type of fashion Lucina liked.
She just wore it because her friends said it looked good on her.
The merchant analyzed the tiara. "Um... I'm willing to pay a decent price for this. It doesn't seem to be enchanted or anything, but this is actual gold." He mumbled to himself. "How are you two struggling with money?"
The girl had a tiara of gold, and a magic sword. Meanwhile, the boy's clothes definitely weren't common, which meant they weren't cheap. Perhaps the two were nobles who had ran away from home? That happened sometimes.
Lucina put a hand to her chest, happy with this outcome. "Then please buy it. I would be very grateful." There, she had solved the money issue.
Yuuma suddenly raised his voice. "No! We absolutely cannot sell the tiara! It's way too important, and I wouldn't do that to you, Lucina...!" Even he had limits.
She let out a frustrated groan. "It's not really that important. I'm fine with selling it." Now what was his problem?
Yuuma bit his lip. "But... that tiara totally makes you into a cutie patootie! We can't sell the tiara or we will ruin your character design!"
They ended up selling the tiara.
Yuuma used their newfound money to buy a new one that was cheaper of course. Fake gold.
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
"Okay, checking in one last time. Do you get the whole stats and skills thing, Lucina?" He was teaching his uncultured wife about how RPG's worked.
She was clearly from a medieval world that didn't have mechanics like these, so it was very important to give her a tutorial. Well, worst case scenario the guild lady could explain things to her as well.
Lucina hesitantly nodded. "Yes, I believe I more or less understood the concept..." And what a troublesome concept it was. "It sounds like something mother would enjoy." And Owain and Cynthia.
Yuuma smiled. "Good. Then let's go to the counter and register!" He now had money, so his adventure was actually gonna start!
Well, Lucina was the one carrying the money. She clearly paid way more attention to her surroundings than he ever did. So a thief would have a much harder time trying to steal from her.
Lucina stopped him. "Before that... do you wish for me to pick any..." What was that term again? Oh yes. "Any specific class? You are our tactician, so I will listen to it." Well, she was assuming he would act as tactician.
He scratched his cheek. "Your class huh? Just pick whatever you want." He winked in her direction. "When it comes to this, it should be up to your personal enjoyment. So pick whatever you think sounds fun." He wouldn't steal the basic privilege of picking a class from her.
Forcing her into marriage though? Totally fine. Nobles did it all the time anyways!
"Very well..." Lucina was surprised. She didn't think such a controlling man would do this. She also couldn't really see what was so fun about choosing one's future combat abilities. Be it sword or spear, did it matter as long as the enemy fell?
She continued. "May I at least know what class you shall choose?" That way she could pick something that had some synergy to it.
He shrugged. "I don't really know what choices will be available to me..." Probably tons of legendary classes, since he was that guy. "But I'm hoping to be a support type. Like a healer." It just made sense with his cheat.
Her eyes widened. "Oh. That's not... not a bad choice at all." A blush appeared on her face.
Lucina had true respect for all who chose to pursue the path of the healing ways. Life was the most precious thing in the world, so those who brought back from the brink were great people. And to think this man would...
She shook her head. Her inexperience with romance was rearing its very ugly head yet again.
Yuuma grinned. "Ah, sucking up to the healer already huh? Very smart." Lucina didn't even bother to respond.
The two made their way to the counter, Yuuma waved at the girl from before. "Yo! Guess who returned!" He actually wished someone else was working. Talking with this woman was just embarrassing after what had happened.
Immediately the woman sighed upon seeing him. "You're still not getting a loan." She didn't have a high opinion of him, huh...?
He smirked. "No loan will be necessary." He motioned towards his fiancee. "Due to this beautiful woman over here!" Well, Yuuma was the one who summoned her, so maybe he should get all the credit.
Lucina lightly bowed. "Hello. My name is Lucina."
The girl at the counter tilted her head. "Um...? You guys friends or something?" She wanted to say the blue haired woman was way too hot to hang around this boy, but Kazuma and his party existed.
Yuuma chuckled. "Not just friends! She is my fiancee! And she's gonna be the one paying cards for both of us!" This time he wouldn't embarass himself.
The woman sent Lucina a raised an eyebrow. Lucina nodded in response. "Indeed, I am his fiancee." She could have argued otherwise, but it would be futile.
The woman at the counter snorted. "Hah, you went begging your fiancee for money." She was totally jealous! Why couldn't she date a dude who paid stuff for her!?
Suddenly Yuuma didn't feel so good about himself anymore. "J-just make our cards please..." Today was just not his day. He should have probably figured that out when he got killed.
The woman nodded. "Of course, the money first however."
As asked, Lucina paid the woman two thousand Eris. And they still had a pretty sizable amount of money remaining to buy equipment and the like later. Though that equipment was probably gonna be very basic, at least if they also wanted to buy food and find a place to stay the night.
The woman motioned to some device. "Please put a hand here one of you two. This machine shall transcribe your stats and create a card. Then we can a pick a class!"
Yuuma quickly got excited. "Me first! Me first!" He put his hand there as ordered, and the device began doing its work.
And then an idea was born in his mind. "By the way, can you like... keep the details of our cards down low? I don't want anyone to freak out when a legendary class shows up." At least not right now! He needed a cooler moment to reveal himself.
The woman rolled her eyes. "I am legally required to do that if you ask." Everybody always thought they were gonna be the legendary one... "That said, I'm also legally required to report to the guild in case you have an avaliable class called baby eater or something."
Yuuma gulped. "Makes sense..." He hoped forcing Lucina into an arranged marriage hadn't given him a evil class...
The card was finally made.
Yuuma started to sweat as the woman started reading it. What legendary class had he pulled!?
As requested, the woman kept her voice low. "Um... Pretty average stats all over the board." Hah? "HP, luck and magical power are actually pretty decent, but..." She flinched. "You aren't becoming a wizard with that intelligence, that's for sure."
What was that supposed to mean!? "S-so what classes are available to me...?" Surely a great one!?
The girl squinted her eyes. "Well... You can become a Merchant or an Adventurer, but I wouldn't recommend those two. They completely suck... At least Merchant sucks for killing monsters." She wasn't gonna elaborate more than that!?
"Now speaking of actually viable classes, you can become a warrior because of your HP, or a Priest because of your magical power. I'd recommend the latter, since its rarer." He must be a man of faith if that option even appeared.
Naturally Yuuma had become a man of faith as soon as he learned about how Heaven actually existed. It would be kind of stupid to just ignore that.
The girl continued. "In essence, these are all starter classes, but that's still better than what some people get." A certain piece of perverted trash came to mind.
She looked away from the card, and gazed at the boy, expecting disappointment.
And she actually found him smiling. "The Priest class is the healer one, right!? I totally want that!" In the end he wasn't too disappointed. He still got to play support in the end.
The woman was surprised for a few moments, but soon enough she recomposed herself. "O-of course." After finishing the process, she gave the boy his card. "Make sure to not lose this, no matter what."
Yuuma Abe was officially an adventurer. A Priest of level 1.
He immediately showed his card to his companion. "Look Lucina! Isn't this super cool!?" Typically people didn't show other people their cards, but Yuuma was unaware of such a cultural taboo.
And even if he knew, why would he hide his stats from his fiancee?
Lucina smiled. "It is very cool indeed." She didn't see the appeal, but there was no need to be rude. For once Yuuma was actually acting like a normal and excited teenager after all, and not some perverted lunatic.
She would make sure to encourage this behavior when given the opportunity.
However, she then noticed something. "Wait, your card reveals your species?" Right there on Yuuma's card there was a section that called him a human. A completely normal human.
"Um... I guess so?" His eyes widened. "That's...! You can choose to not make a card if you don't want to, Lucina...!" It would reveal her status as a succubus to everyone!
And then the guild lady would be forced to report this to her superiors, since succubus was clearly a evil species! Lucina would get executed by the government or something, and he would become a widower at such a young age! This was horrible!
And in such a horrible situation, why did Lucina look so happy. "Don't worry my fiance, I insist on making my card." She walked over to the machine, and put her hand on it.
Yuuma's heart was about to explode. "But...!" But nothing could be done at this point. This was about to become a dark isekai.
The card was made.
The guild lady picked it up, and much like before, she started silently reading it. Differently from the time with Yuuma's card however, her eyes widened, and she covered her mouth to stop a scream.
Yuuma prepared himself, this was definitely bad. There was no way he was gonna abandon his fiancee to her death though, so he would have to grab Lucina by the hand and run the fuck away from here.
To his shock however, the guild lady didn't press any big, secret red panic button or anything.
She just started reading Lucina's stats, whispering all the way. "Every single stat besides luck is amazing...! With this you could pick any class you want to except for Merchant! A-and...!" There was just no way.
Lucina blushed. "And...?" She was a humble girl, so this wasn't good for her. Now she felt especially glad Yuuma had asked the receptionist to hide their cards.
For once that man had shown some wisdom.
Ah, and it went without saying, but she wasn't surprised at all that her luck wasn't particularly high.
The guild lady had to use all her strength to not scream. "And the princess class is available here...!" Which meant Lucina was without a doubt a princess of some sort. Or that class would never show up.
How hadn't she noticed Lucina was something special!? She had a weird mark on her left eye, and that was totally something a important person would have!
Lucina flinched. "Well, that's because..." Could she blame her stats for this one? Probably not. She had to tell the truth. "Please don't be alarmed, but I'm actually-."
Yuuma cut her off. "Nobody cares about your backstory Lucina, those cease to matter in isekai. Now just pick a class already." Bringing up old shit in a situation like this was just wrong! One must abandon their past.
The guild lady immediately glared at him. "Watch what you sa-!" But she stopped herself. If this man was Lucina's fiance, then what was he!? A high ranking noble of some sort!? Perhaps he was a prince!?
Lucina cleared her throat. "Excuse me... Please calm yourself down." If this kept up, soon enough people would notice something weird.
The receptionist recomposed herself. "R-right." Or at least she tried to. "P-please pick a class your highness...! I mean Lucina...! I mean...!" She couldn't mess this up, Lucina could totally get her killed or arrested.
Lucina tried her best to calm her down with a smile. "What would you recommend for a offenss focused fighter who uses a sword, and doesn't wear heavy armor? I'm a bit inexperienced with this whole concept."
The guild lady raised a finger. "Normally the best class for that would be Swordmaster, but I just recommend picking up Princess instead your highness...! It's a class with tons of potential and-."
"Then I accept the Princess class." At this point Lucina just wanted this woman to shut up.
The guild lady nervously chose the class for the supposed princess, trembling all the way. After that was done, she wordlessly handed the card over with as much respect as she could.
Naturally the first thing Lucina did with her new card, was show it to her fiance. "Read." She had obtained the proof she needed. And so it was time for his lunacy to finally end.
Yuuma raised an eyebrow. "Um... What exactly? Your class is pretty cool, I guess." He actually thought being the Princess class was pretty lame. Lucina had been nice to him when he showed his card though, so he was paying that back.
"Read the race section."
"Ah, okay." He squinted his eyes. "It reads... human." Like a normal one. And not a demon made to steal the life of man through the power of sex.
Lucina had to stop herself from crackling. She must not descend to his level. "Indeed. Keep that in mind. I. Am. Human." She had won.
And to Yuuma that was unacceptable. So he immediately started thinking of ways to fire back, while analyzing her Adventurer Card. Quickly something came to his mind.
He would take her down. "Lucina, here in your card it says you're on your early twenties. I'm fifteen by the way." He didn't know if she had read it once he showed her his card, so a reminder was necessary.
"Okay...?" He was very young indeed.
He grinned. "What the hell are you doing being the fiancee of a fifteen year old? You're a grown ass woman, have some damn shame!" That's right, even if he lost the battle, winning the war was still possible.
Lucina took a step back. "Do not act as if I had a choice in this matter!" That was very much true.
Yuuma was delusional enough to ignore that truth. "And you shouldn't act like I didn't see you blushing a bunch of times today. You little weird individual." Even if it was definitely the fault of his cheat power.
"Ugh...!" It was over. Her life was over.
"Shotacon."
"I... I don't know what that means..."
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
AN: I thought about making Yuuma a good ol' adventurer like Kazuma, or giving him a unique class, but... nah. Writing a "standard" class sounded fun. So Priest it is.
Comments
Iori Daemona Angel
I do too, this good comedy, everyone dumped on Kazuma too at first.
Infinite Daze
Hope the reaction on QQ doesn’t get you down. I’m enjoying this fic for what it’s worth.
Deus
Everybody gangster till Yuuma starts Redo Of Healering people
