FakeKing
patreon
A Hundred Girlfriends Who Really Love You... In Another World! 32
🕑 Added 2023-12-02 22:07:44 +0000 UTC"Um... So I want this girl to be my second wife. Yeah." I motion to a shy looking Wolbach. To my great surprise she didn't immediately kill me, instead she decided to have a talk with my fiancee.
Eris eyes roam over us, first to a dead looking Megumin, then to me, and then finally to my maybe new wife. My heart stops once she scowls. "I don't like her, she doesn't get the pass." Wolbach immediately gasps.
The Dark Goddess raises her hands, trying to object to her fate. "Excuse me Miss Eris, but why, nyah...!?" I don't get it either! My War Goddess hasn't even had a dialogue with you... Is she feeling threatened by your red head characteristics!?
Eris grits her teeth, I genuinely don't think I have ever seen her this angry. "Because you're a disgusting faker!" She says with so much spite that I almost jump back in fear. "Adorable cat pupils... Cute nyah's... They're all just offensive if you don't have fluffy ears and a equally fluffy tail!" For real? Where is this level of culture coming from!?
Wolbach raises a finger, there is hope in her voice. "I can...! I can add those though! Minor shapeshifting like that is easy for me!" Right, like your horns! And to prove her point, Wolbach does a cute wink and suddenly she has fluffy cat ears... that look just like those Chomusuke had. "See? Well, I didn't do the tail, since you need specialized clothing for that, nyah." I will acquire those as soon as possible.
Eris blushes, and her expression shifts to what I can only describe as godly awe. "O-okay! Y-you're in! You're super in!" She then looks at me. "As expected, you have amazing taste!" I know, I even recognized greatness beneath the eyes of a cat... Urgh.
Wolbach claps her hands together. "Great! This is coming along very well! I was expecting a few... complications once I learned you were engaged Subaru, but..." She sends Eris a smile. "It seems your fiancee is quite the amazing woman!" Buttering up Eris already? You really are suspiciously okay with this.
Eris for her part doesn't respond, I think her heart may have exploded. You know, I'm beginning to believe my fiancee has a thing for beast people... I wonder if I can find some fate cat ears around, or if that would be considered offensive.
Megumin suddenly pulls on Wolbach's sleeve. "Um... if you can do stuff like that, can you return to being Chomusuke? Please...?" Ah, you're still in shock huh? That's understandable, but if your cat makes her return I might kill myself.
Wolbach frowns, but pats Megumin's shoulder while doing so. "Young lady... I... I cannot return to Chomusuke. Even if I did assume that feline form, which I Admittedly could, I would still have my human intellect." She then shudders. "And I do not wish to be a cat anymore, urgh, so many rats." Understandable!
Eris raises an eyebrow. "Wait, Chomusuke...? Isn't that her cat?" She finishes by pointing at Megumin. "The hell happened to it? Why has it suddenly become a super ho-, a very mature woman?" I could hear what you were about to say, it's fine.
Still, I'm surprise you're having sexual feelings for Chom-, Wolbach. You did almost puke when thinking about Rudeus after all, and I will admit that some part of me thought it was related to us being soulmates. Could it have been your natural reaction, or...
Or did my feelings influence that? Darkness gets genuile hurt when I mean my insults after all, and so it would make sense that a girl might hesitate to go after someone when it makes me uncomfortable. I also wonder if this goes both way...
I'm very well aware that I have fallen in love with Eris after all, so does that mean that if she truly hates me getting together with someone, I would feel sick too? Well, at least I know that if Eris tried to hurt my feelings I would definitely die.
I clear my throat and respond Eris' question. "Um... Wolbach here is actually the Dark Goddess of Sloth and Violence. She got split up... somehow, and one of those sides was Chomusuke." Eris nods, it seems she's not so easily surprised by gods anymore.
Wolbach awkwardly laughs. "Me a Dark Goddess...? Ah, there's no way I'm hiding that after Aqua babbled so much huh?" Yep, though you pretty much confirmed it with your actions. "Well, I promise that I'm not that violent or slothful!" So far that seems to be the truth.
Megumin pulls on her sleeves again. "Chomusuke..." Please don't call her that. "If you're a goddess, does that mean Aqua is one too? I don't think my brain could handle if that was the case, but please tell me the truth." Please lie.
Wolbach shrugs, a smirk on her face. "I'm sure that woman considers herself to be a goddess, but she's just a very, very delusional woman." Megumin sighs in relief, it seems she won't lose the little sanity she has left.
Eris squints her eyes towards Wolbach. "So how strong are you? If you really are a goddess of violence my expectations will be high." Then her eyes widen, her face immediately reddens. "A-and you better not be a swordswoman!" You're still insecure about that!?
Wolbach waves her off. "Don't worry Miss Eris, I definitely don't know how to use a sword." Now it's Eris' turn to sigh in relief. "I'm a master magician though! I can use all kinds of spells! Actually I'm not very good at healing..." That's why we have Aqua, so it's okay.
She continues, a proud smile on her face. "And as a goddess who has a lot of mana, specially one with a Yin Affinity..." That's the same as me! "I can even teleport super far! I'm pretty full right now, so I could even go to the Asura Kingdom in a blink." That really is amazing...!
And apparently Wolbach is not done with amazing us. "But that's just if I decide to teleport without any preparation. If I actually had the time to make some magical circles, I could teleport multiple people all the way to the Dragon Continent even." I... I just brought home a taxi service! "Though I'm not Perugius... I would definitely be beat after that." Who cares about some guy who might or might not be a NEET!?
Eris' jaw hits the floor. "That's...! That's way more amazing than anything I can do..." Oh no, this is bad. If Eris gets sad then I will get sad... And if having Wolbach here hurts her, then I will have to... to kick out this poor Dark Goddess.
Before I can console Eris however... Wolbach does it in my stead. "Oh, don't worry about that Miss Eris! People's value aren't decided by their ability, it's decides by their hearts." Her smile is like that of an angel, this is truly the teacher of MMT. "Make sure to love your heart, okay?" Entranced by her fluffy ears, Eris can only nod.
Megumin's eye twitches. "Hey, now that I think about it... Isn't this a bit too much? Where is all of this acceptance coming from?" She's muttering to herself, and I'm trying my best to not feed the flames by ignoring her. If Megumin reveals that she's the one who rejected me she's dead after all...
I fake a cough. "So your affinity is Yin... Which means you have a Gate, correct?" It's obvious why I would be interested by someone who has the same affinity as me and is also a goddess. Maybe she can give me a cheat... Not that I need one. Wow, I can't believe I just thought that, of course I need a cheat!
My second fiancee...? Nods. "Yes, though I also possess a Fire Affinity." My eyes widen at that, I didn't even know it was possible to have more than one, and Wolbach chuckles at my reaction. "Oh, don't be so shocked! Cases like mine happen sometimes... I'm pretty sure Aqua has a Gate with an Water Affinity and a Yang Affinity for example." Water huh? Makes sense.
Yet again Megumin contemplates the unfairness of the world. "Why is this Purge King casually talking and laughing with his second fiancee while his first fiancee laughs? What the hell is this?" Don't forget that my second fiancee is-, was your cat.
Eris smells the opportunity in the air. "Oh! Can you train Subaru in magic? He has a Yin Affinity too!" As expected of my amazing teacher, she won't miss any chances of making me strong. Well, I would certainly appreciate tutelage from Wolbach.
The Dark Goddess nods. "Of course! It doesn't matter if he's a beginner or an experinced mage, I will do my best to teach my love anything he wants!" She giggles. "Time spent bettering one's self with their beloved, how joyous." You...
Eris' eyes slowly widen, there's a happy gleam on them. "You totally get it! I have been teaching Subaru swordsmanship and there's nothing better than seeing him improve! It's like... having a kid! I think!" I don't like that comparison, but alright.
But back to Wolbach... Isn't this a bit too weird? Isn't she being a little too nice? A little too accepting and understanding? Actually screw a little, she being really, really nice, and all of that! Isn't she a goddess of violence!? Shouldn't she be swearing to paint the streets red for my betrayal!?
This might be... This definitely is... A golden encounter. Just like when Lalatina showed up in our room, this woman is the type who's chances of appearing in the gacha called life are one in a billion. Honestly, I might have to sacrifice an animal to Goderis or something!
Eris then makes a thinking pose. "And speaking of things that are for the purpose of Subaru improving... Where is Darkness anyways?" Completing her most important mission yet...
I sigh, sadly my crusader is out of my reach. "She's... she had to stay back, to hold back Aqua." The goddess was screaming bloody murder after all. "That said, once that dumbass Priestesses drinks herself into falling asleep, she will try to sneak back in." Sleeping with three woman huh?
I don't think our bed will allow that, but I'm sure Darkness is fine sleeping on the floor... as usual. Still, if Wolbach is gonna sleep with us today, which she probably will... does that mean I won't be able to fuck Eris.
That actually makes me rather annoyed, even though I should be happy with the opportunity of getting a decent night of sleep for once. I guess people were right, sex really is addictive... And sadly I think it's too early to try and fuck Wolbach, not that Eris would allow a threesome anyways.
Wolbach crosses her arms and huffs. "That woman really is annoying! Eating that poor crusader's night with her nonsense." She looks at me. "Make sure to thank your... sex slave later, okay Subaru?" I nod, stupefied.
This is an angel through and through, which is why I must speak up. "By the way, the Darkness thing is totally consensual." I couldn't bear if she looked at me as if I was trash. I don't care if she's a Dark Goddess or whatever, clearly those pointy ears are hard at work.
Wolbach giggles. "I see, I thought so, since she looked so happy... Though, I'm not unused to working with bad guys..." Wait, are you the Demon General as well!? "So if you want to be a bad boy, feel free~." I don't care how good I was in my past life, I don't deserve this.
Obviously when a pure beast elf girl says those words, there is only one possible way Eris and I could react... We start to drool. Our minds have been emptied and filled with lust and love... true love even. And definitely true lust.
However, that is the final straw for Megumin, who steps on the floor. "Okay, what's going on here!?" She points at Wolbach. "Why are you so okay with this!? Don't you see this guy is like Scumzuma, except worse because...!" Tears appear in the corner of her eyes. "Because he actually hurt me!" I'm sorry! Please don't fight your superior angel form!
She then points at Eris. "And you...! I do not want to judge your decisions, but have some pride! Punch Subaru and kick Sensei away fro. Here!" The possibly Demon General quickly shakes her head in denial, she clearly doesn't want this bad end.
Eris grits her teeth. "Who the hell do you think you are to give me relationship advice? You're lucky you're a kid, or you would be missing a few teeth...!" For some reason, I feel thankful for bald men who use spears... Weird.
Megumin scoffs, her eyes are blazing crimson. "You're just saying that stuff because you're a swordswoman...! If I had my staff here there wouldn't even be dust left of you!" I know being prideful is your thing, but please know your limits! "Besides, I'm gonna be an adult soon!" That's just because this world is weird.
Still, this is going into a bad direction. "C'mon everyone, let's not fight...! It will end badly for everyone!" Mostly for Megumin, who will probably crumble into a thousand pieces as soon as Eris lightly touches her. Mages are typically squishy after all.
Eris crosses her arms. "Fine, you're right Subaru." As always my War Goddess surprises me with her sudden bursts of maturity. She may be a violent meathead, but she's a caring violent meathead. My CVM!
However, Megumin is clearly lacking that maturity. "You shut up Purge King! You're the one messing..." She lets out a sob. "Messing up everything in the first place...!" I... I see, it's not that she lacks maturity.
It's simply that I'm the worst person ever to try and talk her down, in fact everything I say will only piss her off more. And I won't lie, that does make me anxious... Eris has limits, she will only tolerate so many insults towards the people she loves, and Megumin will keep pocking the hornet's nest.
Thankfully Wolbach intervenes. "Young lady... am I right to assume that the hurt Subaru caused you was romantical in nature?" The Arch Mage gasps. "At least that's what my memories as Chomusuke are telling me, but they are blurry so... I would like confirmation." Yes! Please fix this for me!
Megumin blushes just as red as her eyes. "Don't talk about that stuff Chomusuke! It's supposed to stay between us...!" And so the cat betrays it's master... A pretty common thing really.
Eris raises an eyebrow. "Hah? Do you like Subaru or something? If so just say it..." She looks at Wolbach's chest. "I don't think you're Subaru's type, but..." It goes without saying that when she's talking about type, she's remembering the body type I tend to gravitate towards.
Still, it's surprising that Eris is okay with the idea... Maybe she's taking pity on Megumin because she's a kid in her eyes? That does sound like the swordswoman, she wouldn't feel threatened by a loli after all.
Megumin looks down. "I already...! I already said it damn it!" And before she can receive any response, she runs off crying. Wow, tonight I stole her cat, and I drove her to tears... Soon I might become worthy of a scary title like Purge King.
Killing intent flows the room, surprisingly it's not a common ability, I know Nina can't do it... The girl who can is Eris. "She's the one, isn't she...?" As expected, my War Goddess figured out who rejected me, she may slow, but she gets there eventually.
I put my hand on her shoulder. "Calm down Eris... I will handle this eventually one way or another... Megumin is my friend after all." Maybe I can find her a boyfriend... Yeah, like hell. MMT belongs to me.
The killing intent filling the room disappears as Eris takes a deep breath. "Fine. Just know that I won't accept her, she tried humiliating you." She really didn't! She's the one who probably felt humiliated...
Wolbach looks at the door. "I... I will talk with her eventually too. She may have not said it, but she's probably mad that I took you in as a pupil so easily." The pride of a student huh? "Well, it's not like I'll teach you Explosion Magic or anything, she doesn't need to feel jealous." No big booms for me...
Eris raises her eyebrow. "And why is that? If that kid can learn something, so can Subaru." I doubt it. Not only is Megumin a genius, she has also been presumably training with magic ever since she was very young.
Wolbach waves her off with a disarming smile. "Oh, don't worry Miss Eris. It's just that Explosion Magic is a waste of effort and time... I tried to warn that girl, but she never listened to me." Poor Megumin just can't win...
The Dark Goddess looks at the door. "Anyways... I understand that I'm the newcomer here, so I'll be leaving for tonight. I don't want to intrude after all, and I do have some comrades who are probably wondering if I found what I was looking." She then sends me a wink. "I did, by the way!" Ah, she's too much!
And because of that I can't simply let her go. "Wait! You can totally stay with us for the night! We won't mind... I think." I send a questioning look towards Eris. If she says no, then it's no, I guess.
My War Goddess clears drool running from her mouth. "I wanna see a beast girl get messed up...!" And then she realizes what she just said. "I mean... You can totally stay! If we let a sex slave with us, there's no way that wouldn't also apply to the second wife!" Your goals are clear for all to see.
Wolbach thankfully ignores Eris' perverted comment and chuckles. "You two... you know what? Sleeping here does sound nice." She bows, much to our surprise. "Thank you very much for being so accommodating Miss Eris, I know this may sound unbelievable... But I really do love Subaru." Goddesses with soulmates are scary, they really go forward without hesitation.
Eris huffs, and looks away. "Don't worry, you're cute! Also, I can tell by your eyes that you appreciate Subaru!" She nods to herself. "Someone who likes beast people is decent, someone who likes Rudeus is good, and someone who likes Subaru is great, it's that simple!" What Eris brand logic!
I too lay in my support. "And to be honest, you're the one who has been super accommodating so far... I seriously expected to have a headache by now, but you're super sweet." It's like a reverse Aqua! Actually she's the reverse of most girls I have met.
Wolbach sputters, it's incredibly cute. "W-well, I have been dealing with massive headaches recently, so you two are super nice compared to that. Let me tell you, the other Demon Gen-, actually let me not tell." You're definitely a Demon General!
I don't care much though, it's better to have you by my side and all, specially when I plan on killing the guy eventually. I have a promise to keep to Aqua after all, even if she has her quirks... And even if I'm not exactly good at keeping promises.
I yawn. "Okay then, let's end the night... We can check out your friends tomorrow." I'm beat, probably as a consequence of seriously drinking for the first time. I hope this Goddess of Sloth gives me good dreams.
While in bed, I'm assaulted by the constant noise of Wolbach moaning. Probably because Eris is molesting her... How cute, she's exploring her boundaries...! Maybe one day a threesome might even be on the table.
But that day is not today, so I close my eyes and drift off to sleep, it's the best one I've had since I got here...! Thank you my darling Wolbach!
/////////////////////////////////////////////////
"This should be the place." Wolbach is leading us to a cafe. Apparently her comrades said if she didn't come back last night, they should meet here... Apparently there are three of them. A mage who's here to attend school, her master who is an elf... very nice.
And a merchant named Otto. I'm obviously suspicious of who he is, but apparently he won't come to the cafe since he's busy. Which means I will only meet up with him tonight, together with Nanahoshi and Kazuma.
As soon as we enter the cafe, the Dark Goddess waves to a table with two people. "Fern, Frieren! I'm back!" The two people in the table wave back and I'm... I'm... I'm awestruck. I'm at a loss for words. The world has become brighter.
First there is a cute purple haired girl... who nobody has time for. Secondly there is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen...! An elf with silver hair, as if she was crafted by the gods themselves!
Thank you for sending me this incredible gift Lady Eris! This is why you're better than Aqua and Wol-, I shouldn't shit talk my fiancee, specially since she has been so nice to me. Oh no! I used my wife slot!
But surely... surely Eris will understand? That a man has basic needs, that a man has great dreams! That a true man aims for the silver haired elf no matter what cost! Okay, there are certain costs a man must not pay, but that is simply because paying them would make him unworthy of an elf...
"Subar-." I do not know how to act, I do not know how to think. Save me Eris, save me Lalatina, save me Wolbach...! For today is the day that my sanity perishes... Must I call upon Satella!? Is this the unwinnable situation!?
Something pokes my shoulder. "S-U-B-A-R-U! Stop spazzing out!" Ah, an angry Eris has appeared, she's folllowed by a concerned looking Darkness and a even more concerned looking Wolbach!
And now that I have returned to reality, I realize that I'm sitting down. "Sorry, my bad Eris." Geez, because of my little freak out, the purple haired mage is looking at me like I'm some sort of freak. Thankfully the elf girl looks indifferent... I should look into her eyes. No, I shouldn't.
The red head sighs. "You must be tired, I guess." Actually I'm not tired at all. Maybe it's because I actually had a full night of sleep today... And maybe also because of Wolbach. Though I'm not exactly sure what a goddess of sloth can do.
My fiancee continues. "Anyways, as I was saying, this is my fiance, Subaru Natsuki. That's pretty much everyone in our little group." Ah, I missed introductions from our side, that's too bad.
The mage nods. "I see, he's exactly the type of guy who would accept Red's delusions." O-oi! Don't insult me out of nowhere. Not because I mind it of course, but because now Eris is entering attack mode...!
Thankfully the rest of my party isn't that violent. Wolbach for example, ironically enough is just pouting, while Darkness looks mindly offended. Ah, if I had to handle three Eris' this city would probably be just a big red pool at this point.
Ah, and Fern doesn't know Wolbach's true identity as a Dark Goddess... and as a Demon General, and I'm hoping to keep it that way. Hopefully Eris won't babble her name, that might lead to a fight too.
The purple haired girl bows her head a little. "I'm Fern, It's incredible nice to meet you all." She's surprisingly polite... as expected of someone who is the pupil of a silver haired elf girl...! And that's why I don't look at her eyes as she raises her head.
She then motions to the woman sitting besides her. "And this is my master, Frieren." Ah, she has a cute name too, though Wolbach had already told me that. Now all I need to do is find out the color of eyes...!
Yellow meets green. "It's nice to meet you all." How strange, even though our eyes have met a shock doesn't run through my body. This can't be right, some mistake just happened right...? But no matter how much I look, no love is awakened.
Which means... which means...! That this silver haired elf girl will only ever feel disgust towards any romantic advances towards me... Can someone kill me now? I know this is arrogant coming from a guy who slept with two women, while another slept on the floor next to him, but I don't want to live anymore.
And it also doesn't help that the elf is silently staring at me for some reason. Her green eyes really are something else... It's even sort of funny really, green is the color of envy after all... Makes me wonder if Satella had green eyes too.
And it's then that I notice that everyone around us is glaring at her, and yet she pays no mind... It's definitely worse than what it normally is for Sylphie. Is a slight change of hair color tone really that important...? I guess I shouldn't be talking.
Frieren slowly looks down, breaking eye contact. And so the conversation progresses as normal, with Wolbach grinning. "See Fern? I told you that I would find him! And that he was real..." I'm as real as they come. Heh.
The mage nods. "I suppose so, though..." She looks at my pendant. "Well, I would prefer not to offend your boyfriend." Then don't say anything! Should I be expecting you to be from the Axis Order!?
I look away. "No offense taken, since you didn't say anything." I definitely took ofense. "Anyways, are you looking forward to your first day? You're a Special Student, right?" And one who actually deserves the position.
It's hard to see due to her stoic mannerisms, but she does frown a little. "Yes, I'm looking forward to learning more magic." Funnily enough I haven't learned a crumb of magic. In that place they won't teach you anything if you don't actively pursue it.
For the first time the elf smiles. "It will be nice Fern. I know you have been anxious about it since yesterday... But no one is going to bully you." To be fair she does seem very bullyable. Though most girls seem that way to me nowadays, because I'm scum.
Darkness pats my shoulder. "And besides Miss Fern, my master here is a Special Student too! He can introduce you to the rest of the class." And speaking of introductions, did you really introduce yourself as my sex slave when I was lost in my own head!?
Fern sighs. "I do not believe I want to be associated with a man who owns a sex slave and is engaged to two people." The sex slave thing is consensual though! "Again, no offense Lord Subaru." Don't call me lord, it's weird.
Suddenly Frieren interjects. "Subaru... Subaru... That name is not familiar at all. Strange." Yeah, it is a name from another world. "Tell me Subaru, have we met before?" I would definitely remember you if I did.
I shake my head. "Nope, this the first time I'm meeting you." This is also the first time my heart has been shattered into a thousand billion pieces. This isn't fair damn it! She's way too god damn cute!
I wonder, is this how Rudeus felt when I stole Eris from here? This indescribable emptiness that is eating up my being!? If so, I'm sorry! Well, not really. Drama aside, this isn't that big of a deal, as I said before, I have two fiancee's already... and Lalatina.
Frieren closes her eyes. "Strange. I can't help, but think of enjoying a nice coffee with you in the mornings..." Is she hitting on me!? No way right!? These are my delusions speaking right!? I mean, she's not my soulmate!
Fern gasps. "Master...? Are you okay?" Is this behavior unusual to her? The mage's body language certainly seems to suggest that, since she looks genuinely confused and worried. Great going as always Subaru Natsuki.
Frieren then opens her eyes. "Yes Fern. I'm alright..." She then looks at the window. "Today is the day huh? I suppose it has been... nice enough." I don't know what she's talking about, but Fern shudders.
The mage's anxiety is clear to be seen. "W-well, I was actually thinking we could... explore more of the city. It's a magical one, so surely it has to have a few interesting trinkets to be found..." Is she afraid of going to school...? Could she be a fellow NEET!?
The elf scowls. "Fern, enough wasting time. We go speak with the principal today, I... I won't easily budge on this." At the end she sends me a look of confusion for some reason, like she's trying to figure out something.
Well, I approve of her actions. A strong hand is needed for someone to escape their NEET futurr after all. And worst case scenario I'll introduce Fern to the angel known as Megumin... But then again, why? I already have Wolbach right here...
Fern clenches her fists. "I..." She's looking around now, as if looking for an excuse to escape. This looks pretty serious... To think NEET's would exist even in this age, now I can't even blame the internet.
I try my best to send her a comforting smile. "Fern, it's gonna be okay. The academy isn't filled with bullies or anything." Well, there are those two beast girls... But Rudeus keeps a tight leash on them, so it's fine.
She immediately glares at me in response. "You..." And for a short moment our eyes meet, a familiar shock runs through my body. Her stoic face becomes completely red, how adorable... Wait!
This isn't fair! Why am I getting the apprentice, but not the master!? Not that I have anything against Fern, she's actually pretty cute, but...! But...! There's no way this is okay, right!? Some sort of mistake has to have happened!
The mage looks down, her blush is still there. "Nevermind. Just don't bother with this, Lord Subaru." I can see her elven master grinning, oh boy, I have a feeling this won't go well.
Still, now that I know she's my soulmate... I definitely can't let her lose to the power of NEETdom. "Seriously Fern. I'll introduce you to everyone, there are so many incredible people there... you won't believe it." Yeah, there's Megumin, and Ariel, and Sylphie, and... and...
Luke? Zanoba? Well, I guess Cliff saved me from Megumin continuing her speech that one time. But that's about it really... It goes without saying that Rudeus is trash that should stay very far away from my soulmate.
She sputters, and with that Frieren's eyes widen. "T-thank you Lord Subaru." The elf's grin is becoming bigger and bigger, like that of a mom who is seeing their kid finally find a lover. Actually this might be exactly what's happening here.
But that doesn't matter, what matters is showering this girl with compliments. "Besides, you're pretty cute too. That's basically guaranteed popularity." Even a magical academy still follows standard school rules.
Fern suddenly gets up, and then bows. "My apologies. I have to retire to the restroom." After saying that, she basically leaves like a flash. Maybe I went too far? I didn't mean any harm though, so surely it's fine.
Frieren chuckles, my heart explodes with joy, and pain. "I'll go to the restroom too." She's making a smug face too, apparently unwilling to let her appreciate escape.
She's way too cute...! This world is cruel!
/////////////////////////////////////////////////
I gotta calm down my heart... Gotta calm down my heart...! "What was that...?" Looking at that man's eyes felt like losing myself into the world's most beautiful painting. There's no way that's normal right?
The door opens up behind me. "That's unlike you Fern." D-did my master follow me just to torment me!? I turn around and see, that is indeed her, and she has a cocky grin on... Which is a bit unlike her.
Though she has been acting strange ever since got in that cafe, since she seemingly refuses to take her eyes of that... man. Wow, what a-, not the time to think about stuff like that me! If I don't do anything, my teacher will die!
I take a deep breath. "What do you mean by that master? I've simply needed to use the restroom." A normal activity. There's nothing suspicious about it unless you're a stupid elf who's reading things deeper than she needs to.
She raises and lowers her eyebrows a bunch of times. "Did you use it?" I tilt my head in confusion. "The magic that sees through clothing I mean? Was it big? Small? Average?" You...! Are acting way too strange.
I blush and look down. "Of course I didn't use it. That would be... a invasion of privacy." He's someone I just met, and his love life is clearly already more than messy enough. I have far more important things to take care off.
Frieren pouts and crosses her arms. "How boring... Well, make sure to work hard Fern! You two are Special Students, and he's not a Milis faithful, so you have a chance!" She sends me a thumbs up.
What's... what's happening right now...? Why is she energized? Is she that happy that she's about to die, or is it something else? Could it be related to that man? There's no way she's that happy about messing with my relationships right?
But I might as well play along. "I... I have no idea how to seduce a man." That's true enough, I suppose. "Besides, it's not like I'm okay with him being married too..." The Axis Order's view towards polyamory will change depending on who you ask.
Some say love is love, and... that's what he used to say... Some say that monogamy is the right path, usually those from the sects in the Holy Kingdom. And some say that the Book of Aqua reads that stealing someone's spouse is based and poggers... Not that anyone has any idea what that means. Lady Aqua is a goddess of many mysteries.
Frieren raises an eyebrow. "Oh? So you would like if a man belonged to you and only you...?" I nod, but I don't actually care much. "I see, then don't worry Fern, I'll give you a foolproof strategy of stealing him from Red and those two others..." You're okay with making Red sad!?
My master raises a finger. "First, yesterday we passed through a suspicious merchant and I bought a potion that melts clothes." You really are like a child! Must I keep my eyes on you every second!? "So you pour that on yourself in front of him, and then..." And then...!?
She sends me a little flying kiss. "You give him one of these...! That's a classic strategy you know?" P-powerful! Way too powerful, it master ever does that to someone, specially with the potion's effects, they will definitely die...
But I might as well try to keep her invested in this. "I lack your... unique charms. Please help me more master. I know you wish to... do that. But I'm in need of your help." I have tried countless times to buy us time by having master make a similar promise to the one she did years ago, but...
She's always rejects it, so my hopes are low. But maybe... just maybe... she will accept it this time? For once she seems genuinely interested in something after all, even if it's as stupid as my non-existent love live.
After some time thinking, she nods. "Sure! As your teacher I suppose it's my responsibility to guide you through this... He wouldn't forgive me if I didn't." Wait, this is actually working. "Besides... for some reason this feels familiar... this whole day feels familiar in fact." I'm so happy I could cry.
She sends me a smirk. "Okay Fern! I'll help you seduce that man! And once he gives up his marriage to be with you, I'll kill myself!" I... I actually bought time! I was dangerously close to disaster, but I did it in the end.
I awkwardly smile. "Please help me ruin that man's marriage then." I must never, ever ruin his marriage. I'll just have to kill whatever feelings my stupid heart has.
That's right, my master will kill herself if I succeed so... While we sabotage his relationship in the shadows, I'll also help it flourish in the shadows... If I keep this up forever, then master will live forever.
I'll keep trying, and failing to seduce that man until I'm an old lady if necessary!
