Kevin the Bored
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5 The Obligatory Roflstomp
🕑 Added 2025-08-17 07:30:38 +0000 UTCYo I did it again.
This is the last time I swear, I'll go to bed rn and have a rest day and will totally encourage healthy habits within myself instead of continuing to overexert myself, promise. =D
I'll do my best to get back to Heian next time I'm writing. And on the subject. Crazy coincidence, but my other fic that's on hiatus rn has 51 chapters tagged on my patreon, and Heian is at 52 right now. I sure hope there aren't any implications in that lmao.
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"Ew, what the hell are you?"
The supposed Owlbear roars at her, apparently not happy with her instinctual greeting.
Kierra feels like it's justified though. She came here expecting a cute little Owlbear she could play around with, maybe even domesticate.
But she supposes that she underestimated just how mutated it was.
For one, it's covered in tiny tentacles, which is not fun in any way. But there are also a bunch of eyes everywhere, it has an odd number of limbs, two and a half mouths and is dripping way too much black blood to be healthy.
Kierra floats above the mutated beast and watches as it rages at her, unable to do anything to a target that can fly.
"I feel like the Quest should have specified that you were one of that guy's spawn. Or at least related to it in some way." Kierra's normally aloof avatar frowns, squinting to glare down at the beast in disgust. "Tsk. You really shouldn't exist in this world. [Jacob's Ladder]."
The heaven's above split as a ray of golden light pierces the clouds and falls upon the beast like the hammer of God, instantly erasing it down to the atomic level. As well as everything else in a 100 metre radius.
Looking down at the remaining crater, Kierra muses that perhaps it was overkill to use a 16th Tier Spell on a beast half that in level.
She just really hates the madman that caused all that Lovecraftian crap to exist in her game. Cataclysm number eight.
Sighing at the unpleasant memories, Kierra decides that since she is here, she might as well look around for any more Corruption to destroy. Maybe see if she can find an Owlbear to play with since they're apparently in the area.
It's nearly two hours later, long after she got rid of the Corrupted corpse buried deep in some cave that was likely the cause of the Owlbear's mutation, that she gets the feeling that something has happened.
"Something has happened," she happens to think by happenstance as something happened to have happened.
It only takes her a moment to track the source of the feeling to her [Mark of Muninn] and, curious, she takes a peek to see what's going on and immediately lets out a resigned sigh.
"Crime will continue to exist in any world. Well, I'm done here anyway."
Kierra isn't someone to go out of her way to help people for no reason. But it's difficult to ignore what looks like a violent kidnapping when it is real instead of a game. Especially when she's not even busy with anything right now.
"[Perfect Unknowable] [Warp]."
Between one moment and the next, Kierra finds herself floating above the scene of the crime just in time to watch the Cleric guy get knocked down next to the girl she marked.
Kierra decides against interfering directly and takes a moment to observe. No one seems to be in any immediate danger anyway.
She manages to hear some interesting terms being used through the conversation. Of most interest being 'Red Robe' and 'The Cult'. The former two words were given enough emphasis to imply that it's some kind of important Title. The latter however, was prefixed with what could have only been a capitalised 'The'.
Which means that it is the preeminent, or perhaps sole Cult in the Kingdom. That interests Kierra very much. She loves Cults, they're the best. Unless they worship Corruption, then they can go die.
After all, successful Cults are always full of loot! Cults don't care about wealth after all, not the real Cults anyway. To them, wealth is just a means to an end. Everything is. Which means they usually have a vault full of stuff they have collected with religious fervour, all in the name of summoning their God or whatever crap.
But what really pulls her attention is when the group's Mage summons a board of light, ostensibly to carry the captives.
Why does what she can only estimate as a 2nd Tier Spell interest her so?
Simple.
Because she has not seen that Spell before.
And that? That is exciting.
So she dispels her [Perfect Unknowable] before they can scurry off like the little worms they are.
"Before you go, I have a question."
All eyes fall on her, but she just settles on looking at Mox. Entirely because she's a hot catgirl. The rest are all just muscly men. Eyyyuck.
None of them respond right away, and Kierra is honestly surprised that she didn't immediately get attacked. Kierra would have, in their situation.
"Please help u-!" One of the downed men tries to call out, breaking the silence.
However, he is quickly silenced by the bandit Mage, and Kierra watches with great interest as to how he does so.
"[Silence]!" The Mage incants, summoning forth the necessary Spell circle.
Now, Kierra is naturally good at judging how strong someone is. If she is facing a Warrior or a Rogue or whatever, then she can only make a rough estimate. But for a Mage?
She is The Mage. The moment his Spell circle finished forming, she knew exactly what his level was.
It's so clear to her, to Kierra Kalashnikova. It's in the speed that he draws the runes, the light of the circle, the excess mana falling out from his lack of efficiency, the speed that it spread, the amount that casting it reduced his mana. All these factors and dozens more all coming together with crystal clarity in her mind. So certain it almost feels foreign.
643. Second Tier Class, basic Race, elemental focus on Wind, terrible affinity with Space.
Some of the runes used in the [Silence] Spell are also used in other Spells, as is typically the case since it's a language. With Kierra's insane stats and experience, she is able to pick out which runes were drawn faster than the others and determine even where his speciality and talents lay.
He's not very talented, is her sad conclusion.
Seeing her not reacting to the captive's plea, the rest relax minutely, though they are still tense.
Kierra is curious to see the eyes of the three men fall on the catgirl, since she just assumed that the biggest dude was the leader. Or maybe she's just their 'negotiator'.
"I'm always happy to help out," the catgirl says, and it honestly takes Kierra a second to even realise that they're responding to her earlier question. She assumed they would just attack her. "What do you want to know?"
Hmm. Strange. Kierra's brow would furrow if her avatar wasn't so inexpressive. I know they aren't just lines of code anymore, if they ever even were, but surely interrupting something like this should be enough by itself to draw aggro, right? Since when did bandits negotiate?
However, a moment later she notices how their eyes rake over her body, or more specifically, her equipment. With that, she figures it out.
Just from looking at her, she is obviously incredibly wealthy. Her clothes are Highest-Tier equips, their quality is literally beyond mortal ken. Combine that with the fact that she interrupted this whole thing without concern and without them noticing her approach, and it becomes impossible to just assume she's only rich and not also powerful.
They're surprisingly cautious.
"Two things," Kierra answers. She waits a second to see if she will be called out on how she said she only has 'a' question earlier. None of them say anything. "First, you, Mage. Show me that Spell again, I have not seen that Magic before."
There are some confused looks shared between them, but then the one she assumed to be the leader speaks up. She doesn't miss how his gimlet eyes never leave her.
"She's an Elf," he explains to the Mage. "That Spell was only invented, what, 80 years ago? She probably slept through it."
Hah, he's got a sense of humour.
That kind of sucks actually. It humanises him.
"Ah. Okay. Here, [Magic Cart]."
The Spell circle forms in less than 2 seconds, which considering his level, tells her that it is a 2nd Tier Spell.
"Hold it," she orders when she notices him about to dispel the Spell. Her tone makes them all tense all the way back up again, but she ignores that.
Her hand stretches out to the side, so as to not alarm them, though they are very clearly still ready to act.
Studying the Spell circle intently, Kierra begins trying to replicate it, manipulating her mana exactly as she sees in his circle. Well, not exactly. Her mind keeps informing her of changes, minor alterations that she seems to instinctively understand will improve the Spell.
All said, it takes roughly seven seconds for her to be done.
"[Magic Cart]," she intones, causing the circle she crafted to flash and create a shining board of soft blue light.
It is visibly smoother than the other one in the area, but that doesn't seem to surprise anyone.
"Next question," Kierra moves on, dispelling the cart and sucking the little mana used back up. "Tell me about this Cult you mentioned."
That isn't a question, but again, no one seems to be willing to point that out.
"I don't know much," the catgirl starts, clearly trying to distance herself from The Cult first. Luckily for her, Kierra doesn't think it's a lie. "All I know is that they really hate the Church. No one knows why, but they love collecting and disappearing Clerics of the Church and talented Mages. I don't know what they do with them or what their goal is, I just need the money and don't ask questions."
Kierra almost snorts at the blatant attempt at garnering sympathy.
The catgirl shivers down to her tail because, unfortunately for her, Kierra's avatar's aloofness does not stop her from smiling.
She designed this character from the ground up, and one important part of the 'overpowered-immortal-mage-that-looks-like-a-small-girl' aesthetic, is the condescending smile.
"Shame. If you had more useful information, I might have felt motivated to be kinder to you."
Catgirl's eyes narrow to slits. "So, I suppose we can't be like ships in the night, then?"
"Did you ever think leaving was an option?" Kierra asks, genuinely curious.
A second later, they all have their attention grabbed by one of the thugs when he abruptly screams out in pain and collapses, blood pouring out of every orifice on his head.
Interesting tactic.
"Nix! What did you do!?"
Ara~, there seems to be some fear in them, now.
Kierra slowly raises her hands in a 'who knows' gesture.
She felt one of her defences trigger right before he collapsed, so she is fairly certain that he tried to teleport behind her. Presumably one of the Rogue Class' many backstab Skills.
"Who can say~? Clearly it didn't work out too well for him though, whatever he was trying. Perhaps you should surrender?"
The bandits all grit their teeth, but after sharing a glance seem to come to a decision and attack her directly.
The big guy rushes at her with a greatsword, the catgirl hops backwards while pulling out a bow and knocking an arrow while the Mage begins casting a Spell. She also notices a bird divebombing her way.
They're all so slow.
Even if she's a Mage with stats skewed heavily towards INT, she out-levels them so badly it's not even funny. Her Physical stats are probably still higher than theirs. She is three Race advancements ahead of these level 600s weaklings.
Kierra hops down from her branch and lands with a soft crunch just in time for the catgirl's arrow to ping off of her Passive anti-projectile barrier.
[Force Push]
The Tier 4 Spell hits the charging brute like an invisible sledgehammer with the sound of a gun going off as he disappears from his position. Literally turning into a blur barely visible to a normal person's eye, the man is launched through at least two trees and off into the distance.
Turning her attention on to the Mage next, Kierra sees what she believes to be a [Vacuum Blade] nearing completion.
Another arrow pings off of her Passive as Kierra casually sends a tether of her own mana into the Mage's Spell circle and completely rewrites the formulae in a fraction of a second before forcing its activation.
The Mage cries out in disbelief as his own mana forms a [Bind Person] Spell and immediately locks his limbs in place.
Peering off to the side, Kierra notices that the catgirl has done the smart thing and chosen to flee. Unfortunately for her, running away isn't really an option for her. Not like the tamed bird that ran away the moment it got close enough to recognise her strength. She doesn't feel the need to chase a bird down.
"[Blink]." Kierra appears directly in front of the catgirl floating at eye level. "Hey. Do you surrender?"
The catgirl freezes in place with her instinctively swung knife pressed against Kierra's exposed neck. There's a moment of silence where the girl stares with wide eyes at the point of contact. Kierra feels like she might as well explain.
"I have a Passive called [Low-Level Damage Immunity]. It negates all damage I take below a certain threshold. Kind of useless most of the time really, since nothing that weak is going to be dangerous anyway, but it can be situationally useful against certain DoT effects."
The catgirl slumps, her knife falling from a lax grip.
"We never even stood a chance, did we?" I don't even dignify that with an answer. "Heh. You're a Titled, aren't you? What horrid luck."
"Could be worse," Kierra says while holding out a hand which the woman obediently takes. "I'm not a sadist, after all. [Blink]."
They reappear silently inside the clearing, though the silence is soon broken by a couple of the bound fellows wriggling violently. She decides against removing the [Silence] Spell for now to spare herself the shouting.
Seeing that there's only one person missing, Kierra turns back to the catgirl and points near her friends.
"Sit."
The woman obediently scampers to do as told, her ears and tail drooping in such a way that makes Kierra feel slightly guilty. She has always been more of a cat person than a dog one.
"[Blink]."
She appears in front of the presumed leader, who was also running away.
He naturally swings at her on instinct, but he's not a hot catgirl so she doesn't even allow him that much leeway.
"[Phantom Weapon]," she incants just as his sword is about to hit her, causing the blade to swing through her as if it is an illusion. Enchanting your opponent's weapons is a tactic that stops being usable around level 900, or against anyone with already Enchanted equipment.
It's fun though. Really funny.
"[Velocity Lock]," she says as his freshly Enchanted sword exits her from the opposite side of her that it entered. "[Raise Earth]."
The former Spell prevents him from slowing his swing down at all, which causes him to start spinning in a circle like a cartoon character. Which is when the latter Spell brings a chunk of the earth up a couple of inches, perfect for him to trip over.
Maybe she lied a little bit about not being sadistic.
Letting him finish tumbling to the ground, Kierra gets bored and decides against letting him think he might still have a chance. "[Bind Person]."
He immediately goes stock still, so she connects a tether of mana to him.
[Blink]
The world blinks once more, leaving her standing above nine fellows.
That girl is staring at her again.
The thought hits Kierra out of nowhere, bringing her eyes back down to the blue-green of that orange haired girl.
It shouldn't be something that garners any special attention from her. Literally everyone here that is now unconscious is staring at her. It's not surprising with everything that just happened.
And yet, there is something about this girl's attention that feels different.
Curious indeed.
"Cat." The catgirl bandit straightens her spine in an instant, staring up at Kierra with total submission. It's a really good thing that Kierra isn't a horrible person, otherwise she would definitely do something horrible right now.
Instead, she just gestures to her unconscious and magically bound friends. "Collect your friends in a pile and sit on top of it."
She gets to work right away. Clearly she is someone with a very simple lifestyle.
'Follow the strong'.
Kierra isn't sure how she feels about that ethos, but Lore-wise it's most prevalent among the Demon Race, followed closely by the Beastmen. The difference being that there have been a bunch of civil wars among the Beastmen about it between factions that want to follow that ethos and those that want to be civilised instead.
That isn't to say that there isn't the same divide among Demon kind, but that's a more complicated situation from an outside perspective. Demons aren't human after all. They may look similar, but they aren't. So trying to understand their culture with a Human brain can be pretty tough.
Shaking away the useless thought, Kierra turns back to the victims here.
"I'm going to release you now. I was just passing through so I don't want anything from you, and you're all poor and weak so please don't offer to insist on paying me back. You cannot afford to."
Kierra remembers that girl at the Guild trying to rope her into some classic, old fashioned isekai adventure. Probably would have ended up with her coming into some manner of conflict with some manner of corrupt noble who probably has some manner of involvement with the slave trade.
Thus resulting in Kierra having to go to war against a ring of slave traders, either ending up having to make some difficult choice, or with a happy ending surrounded by busty women that are so happy to be freed from slavery that they willingly choose to be her slave.
Yeah, hard pass on that, thanks.
Kierra stopped consuming non-FWO media around when she started playing the game—except for when it was updating—but she did read a few manga and stuff in school.
So she just knows that if she did not say anything, one of these people would end up insisting that she spend the night at their home, no doubt after somehow finding out that she is staying at an inn. Then she would have to taste their spouse's homemade special something or other that will somehow be better than trained professionals, despite that really not making sense if you think about it.
Then said spouse would end up revealing some terrible past, probably involving an illness that will kill them in anywhere from the next day to five years down the line. Kierra would naturally then cure them, thus somehow resulting in the Church hearing about her and some hot-headed, far too assertive firecracker initiate hunting her down to either demand she submit to the Church or to beg relentlessly for teachings.
Going by how the party of victims all gathered themselves up with only some subdued words of thanks, Kierra thinks that her plan has worked out pretty well.
"U-um. Honoured Lady Witch?" Surprisingly, it's the cat that breaks the silence.
"Yes?" Kierra looks over to see the three unmoving bandits piled one on top of two like a triangle, with the cat sitting on top of the top one with her hand against his neck.
"I, um. I think you killed Rack."
What kind of a name is Rack?
"Ok."
The at blinks at her before returning to subdued silence after a moment, visibly disappointed.
What, was she supposed to freak out and feel overly empathetic grief or something? Dude was literally just kidnapping these people. Also, from the way he talked about the girl with weird eyes being cute, he's probably a rapist too. That seemed to be the implication there.
Plus there's the whole cult thing. Yeah, even if she killed them all, Kierra would not be the bad person here.
Though, she is a little bit curious as to how she accidentally killed someone, so she decides to give it some thought. Nearly fifty million points in INT mean that just putting in a bit of thought is enough for her to have her answer right away.
[Bind Person] is a 9th Tier Spell; the upgraded version of [Hold Person]. Rack was a Tier 7 Mage, as Spell Tiers are named by their peaks rather than their beginning, making a level 600 a Tier 7 spellcaster.
So when she forced him to cast [Bind Person], the Spell put too much strain on his body and killed him. If he'd have just cast the Spell himself, he would have been fine, if entirely drained of mana. It's just the fact that he wasn't in control of it, which means he must have been fighting the flow of his own mana instead of leaving it be. Thus resulting in his own mana tearing him apart from the inside out.
Mystery solved.
Moving on, Kierra turns back to the victims. Except for the interesting girl, they've all collected themselves around the unconscious Cleric, not realising that Kierra has sneakily ensured that he will stay asleep for a while.
She really doesn't want anything to do with the Church. Stupid Devs always think they're funny.
Ignoring the group, Kierra walks up to the girl who is once more staring up at her with wide eyes. Seriously, is it her hat? Is it too big and aesthetically appropriate for a mysterious Witch?
"You were staring at me at the Guild as well. Why?" Getting straight to the point and asking questions is the easiest way to cure curiosity. More at 7.
The girl blinks as if somehow only now noticing that Kierra is standing right in front of her.
From her position seated on the snow, the girl is actually able to meet her eyes, and Kierra can still only see some mix of shock, a bit of fear, and a lot of awe.
"Y-your aura," the girl answers after a too long pause, her voice a revering whisper.
Ah, Kierra thinks, understanding the situation. This girl must have the [Magic Vision] Passive too. That explains it. Even if it's just my mana level from when I was level 1000, to someone with [Magic Vision], my aura should have taken up roughly the entire building. She doesn't seem like she's even advanced her Race once, she must be terrified. Still, [Magic Vision] is impressive. Lore-wise, being born with that Passive, or talent in non game terms, would be a sign of a magical prodigy.
It's impressive honestly. Archmage Aerion is an NPC that comes to mind as one with that Passive, and he was a proper protagonist type of character.
"It's fluctuating."
Kierra's thoughts screech to a halt as the girl finishes her sentence.
Fluctuating?
Kierra smiles. Perhaps her widest in this body smile yet.
She can see the fluctuations?
"What's your name?" Kierra asks, still smiling down at the suddenly nervous girl.
"Flamelle." The response is nervous, but credit where it's due, she doesn't stutter again.
Kierra doesn't pay any attention to that though. There are no thoughts in Kierra's mind as her next words pass her lips.
"Flamelle. Become my student."
"Eh?"
"I will treat you well," Kierra continues as if she didn't hear her.
"Wait wait wait! What do you mean!?" Flamelle yells out, waving her arms wildly in front of herself.
"I mean what I say and I say what I mean," Kierra responds, looking the girl deep in the eyes, putting all the sincerity she can force into her body's aloof voice. "Be my student."
This girl saw the fluctuations in my mana. That might not seem like something great to the uninformed. Even those who know what it means wouldn't be able to fully understand Kierra's insistence. Not unless they understood exactly how good of a Mage Kierra is.
For there is no such thing as 'perfect'. Not really. Well, if you want to be pedantic, there is a difference between 'broad perfect' and 'specific perfect'. Like, getting every question right in a test is a perfect score. That kind of perfection is too specific, it's unimportant.
But what about in combat. A perfect sword. A perfect shield. None of these things exist.
In that vein, there is no such thing as a perfect concealment. They all have faults an flaws and exploits and tricks. Unlike swinging swords, which is really about dedication. Magic is all about attention to detail.
This, barely trained, teenage, child. Saw the fluctuations in her mana.
A perfect concealment might not b possible, but Kierra is about as close to that as one can get, specifically when it comes to her mana. With everything else, Fly—the Rogue in her party—obviously surpasses her ability to conceal herself.
But mana? Kierra has no less than one hundred Passives stacking together that boost her mana control, and even more Passives that specifically focus on aiding in concealment, and some more bonuses from her current equipment set. Though, admittedly not much of the last part, since this is a Boss rush set, so concealment bonuses are kind of pointless to have.
Finally, and most importantly, even if it might seem like a smaller detail, but she cannot emphasise enough how significant of a factor this is, no matter that it is only five words.
Kierra Kalashnikova is The Mage.
Flamelle isn't even level 500!
Talented doesn't even begin to describe this child. Kierra would be willing to pay to be her teacher. She has taken on a few students over the years, but that was as Player and NPC, and none of them have been this talented anyway.
Keeping in mind that the first of her students ended up becoming the Sixth Cataclysm, and this Human child has even greater potential.
Kierra wants to see how far they can go. Flamelle isn't a Player, so her growth still won't match up to Kierra's. The game was only fully released for nine years after all.
But Kierra is willing to spend the next few decades rising this girl far above Aerion's level. It would be another notch to her characters incredible Lore. Another incredible accomplishment to add to her favourite story.
Then there is the motivation that Kierra would simply find it incredibly upsetting for someone so talented in Magic to not be allowed to flourish for whatever reason. But she can admit that her selfish desires are the most driving ones.
But what more can be expected of a big bad Archlich like her?
"Y-you'll really let me be your student?" Flamelle asks her, looking up at Kierra with big, wide eyes full of wonder.
"All you have to do is say yes."
Flamelle rapidly starts nodding her head, seemingly struggling to even speak. Kierra realises that her display of Magic earlier had probably impressed the girl. Good. If it hadn't then she'd have been willing to go higher than Tier 8.
"I accept! I mean–uh, yes! Yes I accept!"
Heh, cute.
Nodding once, Kierra rises back to full height, ruffling Flamelle's hair as she does, and casts her eyes about before clapping her hands once.
Everyone's attention obtained, Kierra clears her throat and speaks. "Let's go. Time to speak with the city guard. [Magic Cart] [Magic Cart]."
Two glowing blue squares appear in the air. One for the mysteriously still unconscious Cleric and the other for the criminals.
[Telekinesis]
The cat was piling her friends onto the other cart without having to be told to, so Kierra decided to reward her by using Magic to speed the process up. Including depositing the cat on top of the pile.
Now, they could walk back, it wouldn't really take long.
However.
Kierra has just obtained a student, and only casting 8th Tier Spells might give Flamelle the wrong impression that she is scrutable. No. Kierra must be inscrutable to her student.
"[Warp Gate]."
With her incanted words, a large, swirling sphere of dark colours snaps into existence beside them, attracting the appropriate sounds of impress from the spectators.
And impressed they should be. Unlike [Warp], which is a 13th Tier Spell, [Warp Gate] is 16th Tier. Considering these people find level 1000 impressive, this might actually be a Spell they consider Divine. That would be pretty embarrassing.
For them, to be clear. It would be embarrassing for them.
Kierra could cast three new [Warp Gates] every second forever. It's not a Spell that should be in the realm of the unfathomable.
Regardless, they all pass through in short order, with only a little bit of hesitancy on behalf of everyone other than her and the unconscious.
They are greeted by a hastily assembling guard formation. One that, upon noticing their arrival, immediately looks ready to enter a war. Kierra can smell the green on them and is reminded that it has been 100 years since anything exciting was going on in this world and how humans don't tend to live that long.
Realistically, inexperienced guards is a good sign for the world at large. It's just a little bit boring.
"Halt! Identify yourself!" Some dude she dubs Mr Guard in her head shouts at them.
Kierra sighs.
This is gonna be a whole thing, isn't it?
It was, in fact, a whole thing.
///
D:
Okay I really need to just spend a few days sleeping lmao I have been writing basically non stop for like 3 days now. I'd write a longer a/n, cuz I like talkin to you guys, but I have been writing literally since I got up roughly 15 hours ago, I am drained, both mentally and physically cuz my sleep shcedule is about what you'd expect.
So I'm going to bed instead :P
Leave comments and share your thoughts! I'll read em' when I wake up this evening.
Comments
Lucy Edwards
I think ur talking about that Leadale one or smth. I couldn't get through the anime tbh
Kz3838
Thank you for the great chapter, stay safe out there and keep up the good work!
Orchamus
What a wonderful ficlet so far. I now need to go read the story that inspired it, so just gonna say this chapter in particular, along with her meeting with the other demon, are what really tickled my fancy so far. I'm reminded of that one LN with the High Elf Cayna(or Caina it's been a bit) . Also I also hope that you don't stall out on Narauko's story at the 50+ mark😁 lolol
