Kevin the Bored
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36 Side-Quest x2 Electric Boogaloo!
🕑 Added 2025-03-31 12:49:37 +0000 UTCSorry about missing an upload, but I accidentally deleted like half a chapter and that shit is incredibly demotivating like you wouldn't believe and kicked me into a bit of a depressive slump for a bit. I'm cool now tho, probably. As well as I can be anyway, my head's all sorts of fucked up lol.
Anywho,
///
By the time I made it back to the Yuki-onna village it was starting to get dark out, but honestly, I think that might actually be perfect. I had an idea while I was crossing back over the lake to make this whole thing more palatable for me, and as a result, I think it'd be pretty appropriate to wait for midnight.
With that in mind, I'm not feeling so morose anymore as I am led back into the same room that I talked with Setsura and the hag in last time, both of whom were already there waiting for me.
"Good news bad news!" I cheerfully announce upon entry, plopping down on the seat opposite them and taking a sip of the water already waiting for me. It's not salty this time, thankfully.
"I'm half surprised there is any news," the hag comments. "I expected those idiot reptiles to start a fight."
Now that's just rude. She definitely wanted me to die while weaking the Kappa enough that all of her problems went away. Talk about an opportunist.
"Well before we get into that, I have a question if you do not mind?" I wait for a nod of assent before continuing. "I heard an interesting phrase from the Kappa that I did not get to follow up on. They mentioned 'the old ways' and I was wondering if what they were referring to was a universal thing among Yōkai or just a Kappa thing?"
Shirokoaka raises a brow rather imperiously and shares a brief glance with Setsura before she answers. "You humans are a young species. The old ways are how things were before humanity started spreading the idea of order and obedience. To put it simply, before the Human Realm was pulled out of the sea by Izanagi-Ōkami, everything was simpler. Perhaps you would call it chaotic. The weak would gather under the strong willing to defend them, and the strong would take and do whatever they want with the weak. Back then, it was our Queen who gathered our kind under her banner, protecting us from the old Kappa King, eventually even slaying him in battle. Not that it made much difference since the bastard's son, Kuzenbo, turned out even stronger. Nowadays there is a lot less fighting. The strong have had their fill and for those of us who predate the Human Realm, we are old. Tired. We've lost our appetite."
Holy crap how old is this hag? Even as I think that, I can't help but feel speechless. Not that what she said is overly shocking or anything. It's just the sheer scale of it all is as baffling as it is fascinating.
The human mind isn't really built for thinking about anything on too great a scale. We just physically can't comprehend it. It's the same with trying to explain or visualise a higher dimension. I remember reading about the idea of a tesseract, the math thing not the movie thing, and I remember trying to visualise it, obviously to no effect.
It's just crazy to think about. Especially from a first-hand account. Imagine if you could have a conversation with a neolithic human about what their lives were like and how they saw the world around them?
Kami, the more I explore this world the more I want to explore even more.
Shaking off my thoughts, I return my attention to the matter at hand.
"No wonder you have so many wrinkles, you really are ancient." I make sure to put the appropriate amount of wonder in my voice as I mutter out my 'realisation'.
Shirokoaka doesn't seem to happy by my words, but I do notice Setsura's lips briefly quirk up.
"You should learn some manners, Boy," the hag say, glaring at me.
"I have impeccable manners, thank you very much. I am simply making an exception for you." I smile as if the exception being made is a good thing, but quickly move on before she can retort. "More importantly, do you agree with the Kappa? That the strong should rule and the weak obey?"
"It is not a matter of should or should not," the hag returns after a moment more of glaring. "It is simply fact. We Yuki-onna are something of an exception in our attitude to this compared to most Yōkai, as we generally prefer to be left alone to our peaceful isolation. But our Queen will still always be the strongest of us. Individual power is more important among Yōkai than your kind often values it. I take it you disapprove? How human of you."
Man, all this casual racism would probably upset me if I cared. "Is idealism also something that we invented? I feel that that says more about you than it does me. Is it really so absurd to imagine a peaceful world where people don't fight and kill needlessly?"
The looks they give me is all the answer I need to that question.
It's not like I don't enjoy fighting and exorcising Curses and stuff, but it's not like every fight has to be a battle to the death.
On reflection, I think I'm being a hypocrite. Because I do enjoy fighting with everything on the line. It's fun.
I scoff at myself. I guess I just think it's fine when I do it. How unreasonable of me. I don't like being a hypocrite, so I guess that's something I need to work on. I'll think about it more later. Unless I forget.
"Well anyway, that neatly brings me back full circle." I place an elbow on the table and rest my chin on my palm to send them a relaxed smile. "Good news first, I have negotiated a potential solution to the lake dispute," both of them react with visible surprise, though nothing exaggerated. "Bad news is that I am going to have to beat one of you up, probably."
I'm finding that the word 'imperious' to really fit Shirokoaka, because I can think of no other way to describe the look she gives me at my claim. Setsura however seems to actually take my words seriously instead of dismissing me as a threat like the hag. Either she's just a cautious person by nature, or she's the more observant of the two.
"I believe you should elaborate," Setsura 'suggests'. "One could be mistaken for taking your words to be a threat."
"Nothing of the sort," I wave away the accusation with a smile. "Well, kind of. To be blunt, the Kappa decided that the old ways should be honored, and so I decided to throw my hat in the ring, as it were."
Does that phrase exist yet? Eh, I'm sure they get the point.
Shrugging the thought away, I continue, "Despite what you may think of me," I meet Shirokoaka's eye's so she knows I'm talking about her, "I am not actually an idiot. Idealistic and naïve? Maybe. But I am not blind. I know that a dispute that has been going on as long as the one between your two clans is not really something that can be solved through simple diplomacy. Which is why I always figured I would have to find a new angle. Though I will admit that I was hoping for a more friendly one."
"Stop skirting around the point, Boy," Shirokoaka interrupts right before I was about to get to the point, scowling at me.
"Don't worry, I am sure you still have a few years left in you, no need to be impatient." Messing with this hag is fun. "To the point then. I have decided that since neither of you can agree who gets the lake or how to share, I am simply going to take it myself and then lend it to you."
"Who do you think you are, Boy." The hag doesn't shout, but there is a heat to her voice that hasn't been there as we've been trading insults.
"I am afraid I must agree with Shirokoaka-dono here," Setsura says, also frowning. "You came here and offered to help as a neutral third party, not to dictate what we can and can not do."
"I know, I know," I backpedal. "I told you that I did not like this option. But you do ask a fair question Shirokoaka-chan," her brow twitches. "Who am I to act as if my will stands above yours?"
I was planning to wait until I left to tell them, but oh well, plans change.
With that in mind, I once again allow my aura to flow freely. Not all at once this time, but slowly. Releasing more and more of my Cursed Energy every second, and as the tension in the room steadily starts to rise, I continue to speak.
"Kazuro's father, Kazenro, told me that they would not agree to any kind of peace because the strong rule, and the weak obey. I found it a rather ironic thing for him to say to someone stronger than he is. You wanted to know who I am?" At this point, I notice some sweat start to gather on the hag's brow, though Setsura seems fine. I'm not surprised. She feels about as strong as Kiyohara did after our fight.
Though, because of the nature of her Technique, I'm certain that Kiyohara is still a far more difficult opponent.
Before I can get lost in thought, I lean forward on both of my elbows, resting my face between my palms as I send them a smile.
"My name is Narauko. I am The Strongest. You spoke of Michizane earlier? The Six Sighted Catastrophe? I cut his head off."
A moment passes before the silence is broken by the door slamming open and three Yuki-onna storming in, spears of ice at the ready.
The moment they do so, I reel my aura back in and raise my hands up in the universal sign of surrender and send them a disarming smile.
"Setsura-sama!" One of the guards calls out, but Shirokoaka interrupts her before she can say anything more.
"Enough!" She barks, making the three of them freeze in place. "Leave us."
The guards share a look with one another before collectively lowering their weapons and bowing in apology to all three of us. "If that is your will, Shirokoaka-dono, Setsura-sama."
I wait for the them to leave and close the door before turning back to the two in front of me
"No need to look so tense, Shiroka-tan," I got a full body twitch with that one, "Because there is actually a second, secret bit of good news! You see, I was doing some thinking on the way over, and I realised that the lake you guys have been fighting about is pretty big, and also not very deep. In other words, it's perfect for a festival!"
I finish by raising my arms in the air in joyful exclamation, though they don't seem to share in my enthusiasm.
"It's better than just fighting for the lake right? So here's what I was thinking. At midnight tonight, I will fight your best fighter and the Kappa's best fighter one after the other over the lake. We can invite booth villages out to watch, you can both cheer on your own side and decry the other, there could be food and drinks and maybe even some burning effigies or something, next time at least. Oh yeah, I was thinking we could make this a proper event, like Obon or something, a tradition. Traditions can bring people together you know? Give it a few centuries and all this bad blood might be a thing of the past. We can make it a tradition where the strongest of your villages will challenge me every ten years or something. Maybe one day you'll even be working together against me? Wouldn't that be cool? I think it'd be cool."
Ah, I got carried away.
It's kind of funny, but I was feeling a little bit sad about having to use my own personal strength to decided the fates of two whole villages of Yōkai, but then as I was crossing the village this idea got into my head and now I'm just feeling excited.
I'm definitely going to have to figure out immortality if I want to keep it up though. It hasn't even been a week since I told Tengen I wasn't sure if I wanted to be immortal or not, but the idea of starting a tradition and then seeing it still be a thing after a thousand years is awesome.
Then again, I could always just take on a student and have them carry it on in my place, and then their student and so on. That would be even cooler. It sucks that I have to pick one.
I refocus on the world as both the women opposite me scowl at me, and it's Setsura that tells me why.
"You look down on us," She accuses, "Speaking as if your victory is certain."
I blink.
"I mean... Yeah? I think you misunderstand. It is not that I mean to demean you, you are certainly strong. It is just that my eyes cannot meet yours without looking down. I am The Strongest, after all. I only have one equal, and you aren't him."
"You are insane," Setsura says as if only just realising, and I bark out a laugh.
"I am a Jujutsu Sorcerer."
Funnily enough, Setsura actually concedes my point with a reluctant nod of the head. I should make sure to tell Kamo-Sensei about this interaction at some point. I'm sure he'd get a laugh out of it.
I wonder what makes Tengen laugh? I suppose I'll have to find out sometime if she's a friend of Kamo-Sensei's. Sukuna pretty much only laughs at the expense of others, so I've been making myself the butt of my jokes with him in the hopes that he'll learn to stop being so malicious with his humour.
"So what do you think?" I ask after a moment of silence. "Are you willing to go along with this idea? It'll be fun~."
The two of them meet each other's eyes and have a silent conversation before Setsura answers.
"That depends on what you intend to do in the event of your victory?"
"You will have to share. I have my own stuff going on elsewhere, so after I win, I figure we could do it so that you Yuki-onna get the lake from the start of winter to the start of summer while the Kappa get the lake from the start of summer to the start of winter. If you both agree to it, I will come back every ten years so we can make a whole festival out of it."
"Why are you so adamant about turning this into a festival?" Shirokoaka asks.
I just shrug. "There is beauty in the world if you just look for it. A festival is a reason for people to see the beauty in the world instead of the violence. It's better to be happy than strong, I think."
"Has anyone ever told you that you are a strange human?" Setsura asks, and I can only chuckle.
"I believe you did. Like almost immediately after we met."
Setsura lets out an amused huff before a long sigh. "Very well, Narauko-san. The old ways shall be honoured once more."
"Awesome!" I exclaim, before her wording causes me to tilt my head curiously. "Once more?"
Shirokoaka once more raises her brow at me as if I am a particularly stupid reptile. "Do you believe that in all this time, we have not once attempted to solve this dispute before your arrival? Any wars have been our clan and the Suwa has been inconclusive."
"Huh. Good thing I am going to win then."
"Arrogant," Shirokoaka scoffs.
I send her a wink. "It is only arrogance if I lose."
Now I just need to go back and talk with the Kappa about the festival idea, and then probably go back and forth a few more times until midnight for a nice bout of ritualistic combat.
Such a unique experience; I can't wait.
///
Meanwhile, several Prefectures North
///
Walking through the mountainous forest that surrounds the temple he has taken over, Otakemaru finds himself thinking back to his fellow Daiyōkai's words; about the threat of the current era of humanity.
He doesn't like it.
Otakemaru turns to stare at the midnight moon up above and lets out a sigh. He doesn't think it's right to hunt people down purely out of the fear of who they may become.
Really, he just doesn't like violence in general. People just keep trying to fight him, and even though he tries to get them to stop, they rarely do, and it's not like he is just not going to defend himself.
He's just not very good with his words. He can never seem to say the right thing. He doesn't like hurting people, and he doesn't like Nurarihyon's plan either. It's wrong to kill people who haven't done anything to you.
Otakemaru believes that violence should be a resort held back only until it is needed for the defense of one's self or that of another.
Yet people keep calling him evil.
If he was evil, he would have made his home in some populated region or something. Maybe attacked the human capital to sit on their throne.
Instead, after finding a wife that he loves, he chose to settle down in an isolated temple hidden away in the mountains.
He just wants to live in peace with his wife, which is why he feels a rather upset when he senses the presences of a number of humans approaching his location.
From the feel of them, they're certainly Sorcerers, but he would wager that they are also members of the Principle Clans.
Those clans really hate his kind, though he can at least understand that is some respects. He is aware that a lot of Yōkai, Oni especially, are violent people. It's rather upsetting to him that he is burdened by their reputation though.
He just wants peace.
The humans don't introduce themselves and he is forced to hop backwards to avoid a spear of fire that impacts the earth and turns it molten in moments.
Decent power, he thinks to himself. It's obviously nothing compared to what he can do, but they are only human.
Seeing that their surprise attack failed, the humans finally reveal themselves, all but one of them anyway.
Five men reveal themselves surrounding him. Each of them has the scent of fire to them, making Otakemaru assume that they are of the Himejima clan. None of them are the current inheritor of Suzaku sadly. If they were, he could probably have used Sōjōbō's name to make them back off.
They were apparently close long before he was born.
As it is though, he is not confident that it is possible to have a peaceful resolution here. These humans aren't known to be a reasonable bunch.
That doesn't mean he won't try anyway.
After all, it is not just their lives that would be ruined by their deaths, but that of their families too. He doesn't want that many people to suffer due to his actions.
With that in mind, he starts releasing his aura, to show them that he is far more powerful than they are. Humans have pretty strong self preservation instincts generally. Often times it is all he has to do to avoid a fight, as most humans chose not to chase a losing battle.
But with these humans, that alone isn't enough, so he tries to use his words as well, to let them know that he does not want to hurt them and will not attack, but that he will defend himself if they do.
"Run while you can, Humans," he suggests to them, before informing them of why. "I will kill you. I am sure you have families too, yes? There are fates worse than death." Such as suffering the death of a loved one.
The humans all tense at his words and fall into fighting stances. He notices some of them start to shake and tilts his head, as it isn't cold.
"Vile creature," one of the humans spits out at him, voice full of hatred, and though he doesn't show it on the outside, on the inside the words hurt. "Are there no lows you monsters will fall to?"
He did it again. There is a misunderstanding happening.
He doesn't want to hurt anyone.
He just wants them to leave him alone so that nobody has to suffer today. Knowing that, he tries to clear up this misunderstanding before it can get any worse. In trying to do so, he tries to smile at the man.
The shaking increases.
"I am stronger than you. You cannot stop me from doing whatever it is that I want to do, which right now is to embrace a woman," his wife specifically, whom he just wants to go back to right now so they can snuggle the night away. "Your families will be vulnerable," emotionally, "After I kill you. I will not kill them because of you, but without you they will surely suffer enough to wish they were dead."
He's heard of plenty of people, human and Yōkai alike, that have killed themselves out of grief. he wouldn't wish that fate on anyone.
He hopes they will actually listen to him and just go home and leave him alone. Because he will kill them if they force him to defend himself, but he really doesn't want to.
"Taichou-sama," one of the humans whispers to the man that spoke earlier, and they both lock eyes with matching grave expressions.
"I know," the man responds, his voice heavy. "I will make sure they know of our honour."
Otakemaru is officially lost. He has no idea what they're talking about, but he thinks he's said the wrong thing again. His words never come out right.
Curiously, the man then produces a paper Shikigami from the sleeve of his robe, and after a pule of Cursed Energy, the butterfly shaped Shikigami turns ink black and then drops into the man's shadow and disappears.
That's new.
"Are you prepared to die?" Otakemaru asks, one last attempt to get them to reevaluate their current course of action. "Run back to your families and I will not kill you."
"Bastard!" One of the humans abruptly yells. "I will bring no such dishonour to my name!"
Before he can even question their words, the five humans all share resolute looks with one another before attacking without any warning.
Unfortunately, they really just aren't strong enough. Though it is fortunate for him at least.
He doesn't want to die, after all.
///
Sukuna
///
Watching the incredibly powerful Yōkai tear apart the attacking Sorcerers with brutal efficiency, Sukuna can feel himself start to smile.
When he got sent on this mission, he originally thought it would just be another boring one. He wasn't really wrong, it was just another Special Grade Curse, and it didn't even have the decency to have an interesting Technique. So he just killed it right away.
However, as he was making his way back, he noticed a group of Sorcerers trekking through the woods and felt he was bored enough to exhibit a little bit of curiosity.
That led to him masking his presence and following after them. He isn't quite as good at is as Narauko is, but that's just a matter of practice. He's still plenty good enough to hide from this trash.
He wasn't sure what they would lead him to. Worst case he would just kill them to sate his boredom. It's not like anyone would have to know, and what Narauko doesn't know doesn't make the idiot nag his ear off.
Such a whiny little lachrymose baby.
What he wasn't expecting, was that they would run into such a powerful Yōkai. It actually isn't his first time seeing one, he's actually met a couple of them. None of them lasted for very long.
But this Oni? It's power brings him back to Michizane, somewhere in-between when the bastard ran away and before he died.
How fun.
Narauko will be jealous. If there's one thing that will upset him, it's missing out on interesting experiences. Kamo is pretty similar, in that he hates when people withhold information from him.
It frankly doesn't take very long at all for the Oni to kill all the Sorcerers that opposed him, and Sukuna can admire the bloody affair for what it was. It's also nice to see that this Yōkai is so brutal and merciless. It means that he will now be able to better argue with Narauko that Yōkai aren't just like people.
He obviously knows that both are sapient life with their own varieties, but he enjoys arguing that all Yōkai are monsters to Narauko.
"I can see you," the Oni says, breaking him out of his thoughts. "You should have ran."
Smirking, Sukuna hops down from the branch he was crouched on and strolls up to the shirtless Oni with his hands in his sleeves.
"How could I abandon such an interesting sight? You are quite strong, this trash are the ones who should have run."
"I did tell them that," the Oni agrees, and Sukuna snorts a laugh.
Giving them the choice between death or sacrificing their family is about as far as you can get from telling someone they should flee, since the implication is that he would have followed them all the way back to their home anyway.
Both options led to death, one just led to more death than the other.
"Shame," Sukuna laments agreeably, crouching down to observe the wounds on one of the bodies and the residual energy left behind from the Oni's attack. "I am sure you would have preferred they ran."
The Oni sends him a smile that can only be described as vicious, and his already deep voice gains a threatening timber when he responds. "Finally someone understands."
"Haha, of course~," Sukuna nods, standing up and turning to face the Oni properly. "My name is Sukuna."
The Oni aborts a nod halfway through and pauses, tilting his head slightly before his eyes widen marginally. "Sukuna? The Special Grade?"
Sukuna raises a brow. "You know of me?"
The Oni nods. "A peer of mine wants to kill you in order to ensure you could not cause any suffering in the future. I disagreed with the notion."
Hah, that's funny. This demon wants to keep him alive because it thinks he will spread suffering, that's hilarious.
Narauko would definitely kill him, or maybe try to force him into a Binding Vow of pacifism or somethin equally inane. So naturally Sukuna will be doing nothing of the sort. Well, maybe. With how strong this Oni is, it would be a shame not to fight him.
"Who is this peer of yours? I do not believe I have upset any Yōkai." Except for the ones he killed of course, but no one but Kamo knows about that.
"His name is Nurarihyon. Oh, and I am Otakemaru."
"Nice to meet you." Sukuna is only half sincere, but that's half more than for most.
Otakemaru nods before glancing through the corpses around them, his expression not changing at all. "Are you not upset for your friends?" He asks, and Sukuna raises a dubious brow at him.
"I do not know who this trash is. I was just following them by chance."
"I see. In that case, if you will not run or die, would you like some sake? I could introduce you to my wife. It would be nice to share a drink with someone who does not misunderstand my words."
Sukuna thinks about it for a moment, but ultimately just shrugs his shoulders.
"Sure. I am not in a rush."
Sharing drinks with a big bad evil demon? That sounds like a pretty unique experience. He's already grinning at the thought of how much he will be able to annoy Narauko by rubbing this in his face.
///
A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!
The second half of this chapter is cuz I didn't want to write the coming fights right now and needed some filler. I mean, I already planned to have this kind of thing with Sukuna going on his own side quest, but I was planning to write them while Narauko was actually int he capital, but eh, whatever.
Also, first the omake and now this. Do I just like bullying Sukuna with misconceptions or something? I'm going two for two now. Idek why I did it. I was just reading Otakemaru's Type Moon wiki page and there was a line saying how he ignored his wife until she left him for someone else and got super jealous.
It made me think, 'what if he actually is emotional but just can't show it?' and then this spawned from my fingers.
I think it's funny. :)
Comments
Javen
somehow these dog eat dog worlds where person power are a real thing are so intresting to me. this conversation reminds me of a quote from one of my favourite novels: „in this world strength is the only virtue and weakness is the only sin“
Tallarn Arab
Sakuna is gonna rub this in so hard, I'm pretty sure naruko is gonna cry from missing out.
