Kevin the Bored
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32 Side-Quest Completed!
🕑 Added 2025-02-14 23:41:29 +0000 UTCLooking between the kid and the turtle guy, I almost don't regret losing the bet with Kamo-Sensei.
My Yōkai knowledge is a little rusty, or rather, I just don't know a lot. But lucky for me, these two are pretty recognisable. The kid is probably a Yuki-onna. A snow woman. Though, perhaps Yuki-onago is more accurate, since she is more of a girl than a woman.
I'll just call her Yukihime instead, cuz what little girl doesn't like being called a princess?
Wait, maybe not actually. What if it's offensive for Yōkai? Eh, fuck it, I can always apologise. I still feel bad for accidentally hurting her, so I'll call her a princess in the hopes of making her smile.
The other guy is easier, he's a Kappa. Granted, I only actually know Kappa well enough to recognise it because of a game I played in my last life that had Kuzenbo in it, who is the king of Kappas.
"FIGHT MEEEEEE!!!" The Kappa yells out again, puffing himself up and half crouching into a wide stance.
"Why?" I ask, and the Kappa blinks and sort of just stares blankly at me for a moment, as if my question has stumped him.
He quickly shakes himself out of that though, and returns to shouting. I'm not sure if he knows what an inside voice is. Then again, I don't know if Kappa even have an indoors or if they just live in ponds or whatever.
"I HAVE BEEN DISHONOURED BY THAT BRAT!!!" Mr Kappa yell, pointing to the kid. "YOU STAND IN HER DEFENCE!! YOU MUST TAKE HER PLACE IN A DUEL OF HONOUR!!!"
I sigh at that. My ears are ringing. Does he really have to shout everything?
"Alright, alright, I will duel you, just please stop yelling."
"THIS IS GOOD!!!" He yells, ignoring my request entirely.
Sighing, I crack my neck and offer him a bow, one that he rushes to return, and get into my own stance. Only to be interrupted by a very loud turtle.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?"
"Preparing to fight?" I answer, half asking.
The Kappa shakes his head and gestures to his own wide stance. "THE MOST HONOURABLE DUEL IS THE SUMOOOOO!!!!"
My expression falls flat at his excitable declaration. "...Haa?"
The kid giggles, but the Kappa ignores that and literally huffs steam out of his nose while retaking his stance.
What are the rules for sumo? I have no idea. Just smack the other guy out of the arena or something.
Alright now I'm kind of curious. I wanna play sumo. I'm not fat, but neither is he, so I don't think that's like a rule or anything.
"Alright, but shouldn't we have an arena first? I could make one but I don't know how big it should be?"
Once again, my question seems to stump the Kappa, and I start to get the feeling that he isn't very bright.
"I WILL MAKE AN ARENA!!" The Kappa yells after a moment, and then he turns to his right and starts slowly shuffling his feet, carving a groove out of the ground.
As he does that, I walk over to the kid and crouch down next to where she is still sitting, Selfish Deer having moved over to sit behind her, turning itself into a pillow to lean on. It's a cute sight.
It's also cool that I can use Reverse Cursed Technique for my Shikigami. I had never even thought about that before. I've obviously tried to reverse my Technique before, but it didn't work. I never thought to try and reverse my Shikigami's Technique.
Kami I fucking love my Technique so damn much. It has just gone from being effectively an eleven Techniques Technique to potentially twenty one or twenty two Techniques in one.
That's so fucking cool!!
This life of mine truly is a blessing.
Shaking my thoughts from my head, I give the snow kid my full attention, absently noting that she mostly looks human. The only things that give away her race is the unnaturally ice white hair and the colour of her eyes that are a set of blue and yellow rings instead of being a solid colour.
"Hey there, Yukihime," I begin, getting a rewarding happy smile from the title. "How are you feeling?"
"I am okay!" The girl cheers, and I can't help but pat her on the head for the cuteness, causing her to flush with embarrassment and start fiddling with her hands. Cute! "Thank you for saving me Sorcerer-san!"
"I am happy to help," I say with a smile. "And my name is Narauko by the way. Are you the one causing this blizzard around us?" I ask even though I'm already fairly certain of the answer.
"Oh! Um! Yes! One moment!" She exclaims, and then she scrunches her eyes shut and visibly strains her focus.
Too cute! I'm overloading! Damn that one pregnant woman for making me feel paternal! I'm too young for this shit!
Damnit, and now I'm thinking about all that crap Nagiko was talking about, what with all the marriage.
On one hand, I kind of want kids now. But on the other hand, the idea of having responsibilities makes me feel ill. One of the reasons I was so happy with this new life back as a kid was because I was free from all the sense of responsibility that felt like chains around my neck.
I don't want responsibilities! I want to be free!
My dramatic thoughts are put aside when I notice the surrounding temperature starting to rise, and I glance around to see snow melting and the sky clearing out.
It's kind of impressive how much power this kid has in her little body. She clearly has absolutely no fine control or skill whatsoever, but this snowstorm she conjured was pretty wide reaching.
If I had to put it in measurements, I'd say she has about a third of the reserves that Sukuna and I have. It doesn't sound very impressive when put like that, but we kind of have a lot. Like a lot a lot. Even at only a third, she has more Cursed Energy, or rather Youki I guess, than I think anyone else I've met. Maybe Tengen has more? I don't know, she's difficult to get a feel on.
"I AM DONE!!" I hear the Kappa yell, though it would have been difficult not to with how damn loud he is.
Seriously, he doesn't have to shout that much. Is this just a Kappa thing or a him thing? I really hope it's just a him thing.
Is that racist to say?
...Maybe?
Shaking the thought away, I look over the arena that the Kappa made. It's just a big circle carved into the ground. It's also super wet and muddy because of all the melting snow. His feet are coated with mud, but I notice that it doesn't seem to affect his balance.
Probably shouldn't be surprising since Kappas are at least semi-aquatic.
"One moment!" I call out to the Kappa before turning back to the kid. "So apparently I've gotta go sumo wrestle this guy," I hike a thumb over my shoulder at the Kappa. "But if you're cool to wait a minute, I'd be happy to escort you to your home after?"
Heh. Cool. Yuki-onago. Pun. funny. Hehe.
Anyway.
The kid stares at me for a moment and then nods her head. "I'll wait, Narauko-san!"
Chuckling at her enthusiasm, I ruffle her hair as I stand, earning an indignant squark, and walk over to the arena the Kappa made.
Normally I take my scarf off when I fight, because it's already earned a few tears and I don't want to destroy it, but I don't bother here. Perhaps it is rude of me to not take this seriously, but he just isn't strong. I'm not worried about my scarf being dirtied.
It's not like I'm so vain as to really care about getting muddy, I have a bunch of spare clothes for exactly that reason, because they have been destroyed plenty of times in battle.
But that doesn't mean I won't avoid getting covered in mud if I can, and thanks to the footwear of this era, I won't even have to worry about getting any mud on me at all.
Not when my opponent is so weak.
"My name is Narauko by the way," I say once I step into the arena, and my words make the Kappa rapidly straighten himself.
"THIS ONE IS NAMED KAZURO!! LORD OF LAKE SUWA!!!"
I sigh. Obviously he can't introduce himself quietly. I'm kind of disappointed he isn't Kuzenbo. That would have been neat.
As I am about to respond however, I am surprised when a much higher pitched voice beats me to the punch. Metaphorically that is.
"It doesn't belong to you! Meanie! Bully!" The kid yells, seemingly outraged.
An outrage that is matched by Kazuro the Kappa as he gasps at her.
"YOU DECEPTIONER!!" What? That's not a word. "I HAVE BESTED MY FATHER IN HONOURABLE COMBAT!! WHAT WAS HIS IS NOW MINE BY RIGHT!! I AM THE NEW LORD OF LAKE SUWA!!"
"It's not your lake!" The kid shouts right back. "Stupid! Bowl-head! Idiot!"
"Ahem," I cough, interrupting their arguing for the second time today. I can't really tell, but I'm starting to guess that the Kappa might also be about as young as the snow kid. "As interesting as this is, I believe we were in the middle of something?"
And it is interesting, but I figure I can ask an adult about the situation once I bring the kid back to her home instead of relying on argumentative brats for information.
"YES!" Kazuro immediately agrees. "LET US NOT ALLOW THIS VIXEN TO DISTRACT US FROM OUR FATED CLASH!!"
...Vixen? I glance at the girl. Vixen really isn't the word I would use. Maybe bratty? Though that feels uncharitable. She's only been a brat with Kazuro, who honestly kind of seems to have it coming.
Also, fated clash? Since when did this confrontation get upgraded? Does he just like being dramatic? Is that why he shouts all the time? Because he thinks it's dramatic?
Now I'm starting to feel bad about how I'm about to completely trounce him. This went from a potentially fun experience of trying out some sumo to feeling like I'm about to beat up a kid.
Dang, way to spoil the mood.
Oh well, I'll just go easy on him.
"Sure," I agree, picking up a rock and watching as he falls into the classic sumo stance. "When this rock hits the ground we will begin."
Just for fun, I then copy his stance, finding that it feels interesting. It's just so completely different to my normal way of fighting that the wide, grounded stance provides such a unique feeling.
Damn, now I'm going to have to experiment with different stances and fighting styles, just to know how they all feel.
Despite complaining in my mind, my smile only grows wider at the thought, and before I can get further distracted, I share a nod with Kazuro and then toss the rock lightly into the air.
Kazuro's countenance shifts the moment the stone leaves my hand, and to my shock I notice as Touki rises from his skin, covering his body in the transparent white fire of his lifeforce.
Interesting.
I would like to continue to mimic him and use my own Touki, mostly just because it feels like the respectful thing to do. Unfortunately, I still struggle to call upon my Touki when I've still got a full tank of Cursed Energy.
Imagine trying to find a fist sized bubble of lukewarm water hidden somewhere inside of a pool of slightly colder water. That's what it's like trying to find my Touki through my Cursed Energy. It's basically fucking impossible without at least draining some of the water first.
Oh well. It's not like I think I need to enhance my body to win this, I just think it'd have been more polite.
The stone hits the ground and both of us burst forward, smashing into each other.
I am completely just copying what I saw in that one sumo match I kind of vaguely remember seeing in a movie or something, but I have enough strength to make up for a lack of familiarity with the sport.
The force of our collision sounds out like a gunshot and sends the mud at our feet flying away from us.
Kazuro seems shocked that I matched his strength, and that moment of pause costs him as I grab hold of his shell and lift him bodily off the ground.
He starts to move then, trying to pull himself out of my grip, and to my surprise, he actually succeeds, pushing my arms apart and forcing my fingers off of his shell.
Kazuro drops to the ground with a thud and then instantly launches himself forward, practically jumping at me in an attempt to shoulder check me out of the arena.
However, unlike him, I do not freeze in my shock, and when he tries to capitalise on my being off balance he fails to react in time when I simply allow myself to fall backwards and to the side a little.
Then, right before his shoulder check can hit me, I lift one foot and grab onto the front of his shell, leaning further to the side and out of the way, almost to the point that my back touches the ground.
Using my own body as a pivot, I then allow Kazuro's centrifugal force to spin us around at a tilt. Kazuro's face brushes against the ground where my back was a moment ago, and only when the spin starts to rise do I let go, sending Kazuro hurtling out of the arena and into a tree with a rather shameful scream following him.
Embarrassing.~
Kazuro impacts the tree with a dull thud and a crack of bark before falling to the ground, and I watch as the tree slowly tilts and falls on top of him.
That was kind of disappointing. Though, I don't think it's entirely Kazuro's fault. I'm just not much of a wrestler really.
But try as I might to make excuses for him, I can't quite silence that little part of myself that says that the fight could have been fun if only Kazuro was stronger.
For a moment, as I stretch out my back and watch Kazuro push the tree off of his face and slowly climb back to his feet, I feel as though the world is a thousand miles away. As if space itself is stretching to isolate me. As if I am truly alone.
And then a tiny little white haired missile impacts my side and I look down to see the kid smiling toothily up at me and all is once more okay.
I am not alone. Strength isn't the only means through which to build connections.
Besides, Sukuna is still out there somewhere. I can wallow about my strength after our fight.
"That was awesome Narauko-san! You were pshhow! And he was like bemow! But then you were like swiiinsh and fwoosh and he went aaaah-pow! So cool!"
Dear kami she is so adorable! I'm taking psychic damage!
Infected by her enthusiasm, I smile down at her and ruffle her hair. "Thank you, Yukihime," I say, making her preen, before turning back to Kazuro, who has since risen back to his feet, caked head to toe in mud. Not that he seems to mind.
"We good?" I ask him.
Kazuro straightens himself and then bows respectfully at me. "YOU HAVE PROVEN YOURSELF VALOUROUS AND HAVE EARNED MY RESPECT!! I WILL RETURN TO MY CLAN FOR NOW! SHOULD YOU EVER VISIT, YOU SHALL BE TREATED AS AN HONOURED GUEST, UPON MY WORD AS THE LORD OF LAKE SUWA!!"
"It's not your lake!" Yukihime all but screeches at him.
Predictably, Kazuro puffs up at the accusation. "YES IT IS! THE WATER IS OUR DOMAIN AS PROUD DESCENDANTS OF KUZENBO!!!"
"Then I will freeze the lake every winter for a thousand years until you learn!" The kid yells back, her words kind of jolting me with the reminder that Yōkai lifespans are completely different to humans.
"THEN I WILL BREAK YOUR ICE EVERY WINTER FOR ONE THOUSAND YEARS!!!"
"Fine then!" Yukihime huffs.
"FINE THEN!!" Kazuro huffs in turn, turning on his heel and stomping away.
Kids, I think with a fond roll of my eyes.
Honestly, if these two weren't so clearly different species, I'd suspect them of being siblings.
"Well then, Yukihime. I suppose it's about time we get you home, yeah?" I ask and she nods into my mud-free kimono, her arms still wrapped around my waist.
So I simply reach down and pick her up, depositing her on the back of my neck, giving her a shoulder ride, much to her audible joy as she squeals and then starts giggling, glancing this way and that from her new height.
It only takes a simple question to have her raising an arm and giving us direction, and then I am walking, with an excitable kid leaning side to side as she enjoys observing the world from so high up, ooh-ing and aah-ing all the while.
Gah! Why are kids so cute? I reject responsibility! But I don't want to be a deadbeat! Why does life not always have easy answers!
Stupid paternal instincts. I blame.... Who can I blame? That one pregnant woman again? I probably shouldn't. I don't want to accidentally Curse her by complaining so much.
Who's the god of children around here? I think Suijin is the god of motherhood and fertility and child birth and such, among other things, so fuck it, I'll blame him.
Please don't smite me though.
"How are you so strong, Narauko-ue?" Yukihime asks from above, leaning forward enough that she is looking at me upside down.
"Ue?" I parrot, avoiding her question, because there are people weaker than me that train an equal amount to me, and I don't want to tell a kid that I'm just talented as well. "You don't have to refer to me so respectfully. -San or just without honorifics is fine, I don't mind how you call me."
"Okay Na-san!" The kid chirps out, seeming rather pleased with herself. "What kind of Yōkai are you?"
Eh? Does she not realise I'm a human?
"I'm not a Yōkai, Yukihime. I am a human."
The kid pouts at me and crosses her arms petulantly. "Nuh uh! You're definitely not human!" The girl exclaims, but then she droops and as she continues, her voice comes out soft and fragile. "Humans are scary," she says, "But you aren't scary at all. You're safe. So you can't be human. You're just shapeshifting." Just as fast, she brightens back up and grins at m. "I bet you're a Nekomata!"
"Oh? What makes you think that?" I ask while mentally digesting the fact that the kid on my shoulders has probably just been a little bit traumatised by those Sorcerers who seemed to be hunting her or something.
I should probably say something. Better to avoid letting feelings like this fester into something worse.
"Because you feel like a cat, and you stretch like a cat, and you smile every time you walk through a sunbeam, and sometimes you smile like a cat too, and you hair feels really nice and my big sis Setsura-nee has a Nekomata friend and you remind me of her, and also, uh, you fell from the sky! And cats are really good at landing!"
The kid nods to herself as if proud of coming up with that final piece of 'evidence', which is just adorable.
I could try explaining that I am not a Yōkai of any kind, but I get the feeling that she just wouldn't believe me. So instead I decide to do the exact opposite.
"You're right, you got me. I am a Nekomata," I 'admit,' and just as planned...
"I don't believe you," the kid immediately retorts, almost making me snort. "Why don't I believe you?" She asks again after a brief moment of confusion.
"Because I am a terrible liar. The worst you've ever met," I answer, somewhat proud of the idea of weaponizing my terrible lying talents. Before the conversation can return to the previous speculation, I speak up again, silencing her.
"Yukihime," I say, my voice serious but soft as I tilt my head all the way back to look up at her. "Those humans were from the Nakiri clan," I start, and I don't miss the way she tenses up at the name. "They are one of the Five Principle Clans and a part of their duty is to kill Yōkai."
This isn't the kind of thing I want to talk about with a kid, but frankly, in this world she would be in more danger ignorant than not. Survival comes first.
"But I hope you can understand that the Five Principle Clans are not the entirety of humanity. I will not tell you that they are the exception, because it would be wise as a Yōkai to have caution around humans. But please do remember that there are good humans out there. It is possible for Yōkai and humans to be friends. Just... Don't let the actions of those Sorcerers cloud your judgement of all humans."
Yukihime droops, slouching down morosely. It saddens me to see her sad, but I still think it's best to confront this early, before the feelings can harden into something poisonous.
The walk from then is mostly silent as Yukihime gets lost in her thoughts, and I feel the way her hands clench and unclench from where she has threaded them through my hair.
As my bangs are pushed in front of my eyes, I realise that my hair has actually grown pretty long. I've been so distracted by all the fun stuff that I haven't cut it in a while. I'll tie it up later, or cut it if it's annoying.
Eventually however, the kid does bounce back, as all kids tend to, and I spend the rest of the walk talking about all my friends and telling stories of some of the missions I've been on until Yukihime abruptly straightens.
By now we've reached near the base of the mountains that were once so far away, and she looks around of a moment before pointing in a specific direction.
"That way!" She exclaims, excited and relieved and nervous all at once.
Obediently, I do as I am bid and walk until we enter a clearing near the base of the mountain that has a frozen pond in the centre of it.
Pulling on my hair like she's Remy from Ratatouille, Yukihime guides me towards the frozen pond.
"C'mon!" She exclaims, hurrying me forward.
I'm not entirely sure what she expects, but I can make some guesses, so instead of voicing my curiosity, I just step forward and onto the frozen pond.
The moment my second foot touches the ice I feel a momentary sense of vertigo, and then I am somewhere else.
The surroundings that were once full of trees and light snow are gone in place of a giant frozen lake.
The air feels weird too. The same but different. Kind of tangy? Or minty? It's not an easy thing to describe. There aren't any words I know to describe these senses.
The point is, that it is interesting.
Glancing about, I see that we are standing on a small frozen pond in the centre of a small wooden platform that is built in the centre of a rather large frozen lake.
Ahead of us, there is a thin wooden path that leads from here, across the frozen lake, and to the small village that stands by the shore.
I also do not fail to notice the high number of powerful presences sequestered away inside of said village. Nor do I fail to notice the group, of whom I can only assume to also be Yuki-onna, standing right in front of us, full of frantic energy.
Whatever heated conversation was happening before our arrival pauses ad the half dozen or so Yōkai all jerk at our appearance. When the entirety of their attention falls on us, they very quickly transition from shock, to relief when they see the kid, to then hostility when they see me.
Luckily for me, their scary glares are interrupted when Yukihime pushes herself up until she is standing on my shoulders, and then launches herself at the only man among the group of women with a cry of, "Hakurei-nii!"
The man rushes forward to catch the child missile and hugs her close, falling to his knees as the two of them start sharing rapid hushed words of apology.
It's a rather heart-warming scene, and I find myself smiling at the beauty of it all. Of the clear love shared between them, the relief at being in one another's presence once more.
Sukuna's never this happy to see me, I think with a mental whine, half amused at the image of Sukuna ever being even remotely sentimental.
Honestly, if Sukuna ever acted like that, I legitimately just would not believe that he wasn't someone else wearing his skin or something.
Unfortunately, my thoughts as well as my viewing of this happy reunion are interrupted when I abruptly find myself with three spears of ice pointed at my throat and a rather upset old lady glaring hatefully at me, which is just rude.
I haven't even done anything yet.
So naturally my response is mature and well thought out.
"Yuki-baba, don't you know glaring gives you wrinkles?"
///
A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!
I've actually been busier this last week than I have been for a while and yet I seem to have written even faster. What does this mean?
Also, Yuki-baba means snow hag if you don't know. Or snow granny, depending.
Also also, Reiti was originally going to be based off of a Touhou character, but their name is Letty Whiterock, which is way not Japanese enough, and the translation was just the same thing but in a Japanese accent, so I translated it into Shiroiwa Reiti. Reiti is just Letty and Shiroiwa is literally just white rock, basically.
Why did Touhou not just translate her name for the japanese version? I don't know, I barely even know what Touhou is. All I know is that bad apple has been made a million different weird ass ways on youtube.
Comments
Tallarn Arab
Funni
Lucy Edwards
now
Eldar Zecore
Could be something to focus on when he eventually starts traveling, find some Dojos and such
Drim
When's next chapter?
Drim
Can't wait for more!
cocobum
Thanks for the chapter.
Virdan
Classic Naruko calling people old
Maitreya
No bro 😭, you should never talk about a girl's weight, age and appearance and he casually said that 🥶
Maitreya
It would be a good deal considering he doesn't have a weapon
Orchamus
Amusing, now perhaps he'll focus on martial arts? Could probably use a bit of real instruction in such. Also 😂, telling an old woman she'll get wrinkles.
