Kevin the Bored
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43 Self Affirmation Therapy
🕑 Added 2024-08-28 07:38:51 +0000 UTCApril 26th
12:30
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When one person's happiness conflicts with another's, it can only lead to misery. At the same time, when one person's misery conflicts with another's, it only leads to greater misery.
So, what is the solution to create happiness in the world, without reducing everything to misery? Is a net positive possible?
Obviously, the world isn't as black and white as all of that, there's a lot of nuance to it. But still, to answer the question, Jester thinks it's pretty simple.
You just have to accept that everyone can't be happy. There will always be misery.
But, there is an exception.
What if, one person's happiness is another's misery?
Then, at least one person can live happily.
Ultimately, if you were to ask Jester; you can only attain true happiness once you learn to enjoy the misery of others.
It's easy to reject such a line of thought.
She understands. Death, for instance, is permanent. But it's not something limited to the victim alone. Everyone has connections, and their death will sever all of those connections.
When someone dies, people cry. They mourn. A piece of their life has been cut out, and it hurts in a way that spills no blood.
Truly, death is a tragedy.
Isn't that unfair?
What gives them the right to bring so much misery into the world?
People should be happy. Everything is so much better when you are happy.
That's why she decided on Clowns. Because nothing represents joy as well as clowns. It's literally the entire point of their existence.
To laugh, to smile, to feel joy. These are all wonderful things.
Jester doesn't want to experience anything but joy in her life. Perhaps she's a coward for that, but why is it cowardly to want to avoid pain and suffering?
Isn't that just logical?
She doesn't understand.
So when people mourn, when they grieve and they cry, it just pisses her off.
The dead are dead. What gives you the right to bring misery into the world by mourning them?
If you can't be happy,
You should just die.
"Whatcha thinkin' 'bout?"
Jester looks up from her coffee and meets No Face's eyes, or rather, John's, since they aren't in costume right now.
"Salmon," Jester lies, turning to the window while sipping on her drink.
They are sitting by the front window in one of the few cafes still open on the Boardwalk. The sun is out, shining bright despite the recent troubles the city has faced.
A short distance away, she can see a large group of people working on rebuilding a building that was atomised by one of Bakuda's many bombs.
"Liar."
Jester turns the focus of her eyes to the glass instead of beyond and takes in her current face. It's nothing special, just a blonde haired blue eyed girl of average height and average appearance.
She can't make herself too beautiful when she hangs out with John, because he's as average as it gets, and people stare at beautiful woman a lot more when they're hanging out with average men.
It gives the fools the idea that they have a chance. "If she'll settle for him, I can win her over," and other such thoughts. Really, men can be so silly sometimes. Well, not like she's any better.
"What do you think the future holds, John?"
Not that they're on a date or anything. Time never stops passing, and they often have free time. What else are they going to do when they have nothing pertinent to do? Dramatically sit on a throne of bones? That gets boring quick.
Usually the answer is to play board games, except for monopoly. Someone brought that out during a Walpurgis and Jigsaw fucking died. He'd only just joined too, and she loved the little games he'd orchestrate and stream on FoolsNet. But this time they felt like getting some coffee. Except John got tea instead. Bleh.
"What's with the abruptly deep question?" John's sips his own drink, making obnoxious slurping sounds, before continuing with his dull and bland voice. "Are you going through a midlife crisis or something? How old are you?"
Things feel calm. It's strange. Less than a week ago, the city exploded. Then the gangs have basically been in open warfare. The city is barely avoiding being declared an urban warzone. Yet, enough time has passed that people are adapting.
The gangs are keeping their warfare to a few specific areas, and the rest of the city has gotten organised enough that the chaos left is a controlled one.
"I don't know how old I am. Twenty three, I think? Maybe?" Jester tilts her head with a finger on her cheek. "And I'm not going through a crisis."
"You're too young for a midlife crisis." John opens the wrapping on the complimentary biscuit that came with his drink and bites it in half without even dipping it in the tea.
"I'm not going through a crisis," Jester repeats.
"You're not?"
"I'm not."
"Sure?"
"I'm sure."
Jester's eyes turn back to the Boardwalk and follow a small group of friends as they laugh and push each other around. Two of them are holding drinks in both hands, while two others have each other in headlocks.
Their clothes are all a bit dirty and scuffed, and their shoes are all caked in dust and tears and stains. It's the same for pretty much everyone, really. Running water and electricity has been damaged in a lot of places by the bombs.
Two days ago, people were too afraid to leave the house except for essential supplies. Even then, neighbourhoods would move in packs and basically raid a supermarket for everything they all need before retreating.
People still aren't going out alone if they can help it, but the initial fear has worn off, and people are moving on, even as the sounds of gunshots basically hasn't stopped for longer than an hour at a time since the bombs.
"You didn't answer my question."
"About the future?" John asks, turning to enjoy the view same as her.
"Yeah, that one."
"You want to know what I think the future holds?"
"Yeah."
"Hmm, that's a tough one." John sips his tea and makes a face of disgust. "Some bits just hit my tongue, so bitter."
"Just answer it." Jester offers her coffee and they swap without a word.
"Can I get back to you later?" He sips her coffee and hums appreciatively
"No."
"Sure?"
"Positive."
"Even if I say please?" Jester's lip twitches.
"I'll kill you."
"So?" He raises a brow.
"I'll kill you ten times for every second you don't answer starting now."
"Well where to begin," John immediately capitulates without his tone so much as wavering. "If I had to sum it up, I'd say the future doesn't look very good."
"Hmm? How's that?"
"Well... People like you exist."
Jester's eyes meet his through the window's reflection. "What's that supposed to mean?" It sounds like an accusation, but she's smiling as she says it.
He shrugs one arm. "The world will never know peace so long as people like you are alive."
"That's prejudice."
"Oh?" He raises a brow and smirks lightly. "You didn't answer my question earlier. What were you thinking about?"
She pauses for a moment at his words, and then a wide, shark-like grin splits her face in half. "I was thinking that I should cause a scene~, it's too peaceful~." she answers, her tone no longer casual, and instead joyful and ridden with madness.
John's growing smirk makes her pout for a moment, but she quickly bounces back. "I see your point, but still, I fundamentally disagree~."
"Hmm? How's that?" He asks, copying her earlier wording.
"Because I am selfish, and so long as I am happy, I think the world is a wonderful place~."
"Haaah," John shakes his head and pushes himself to his feet. "Dying might only be an inconvenience for me, but it's still inconvenient, so I'll be taking my leave."
Saying so, he reaches into a pocket and pulls out a few bills that he leaves on the table, waves briefly to get one of the waitress' attention and points at the money before he leaves, so she knows he isn't dining and dashing.
"Have fun," He says as he walks away, waving goodbye over his shoulder.
"I always do~," Jester answers with a smile.
Now alone, she reaches across the table for her cup, finding it still has some coffee in it, which she sips at.
"Bleh," she sticks her tongue out and glares at the coffee, "It's cold."
A waitress approaches and very purposefully ignores the money on the table. "Can I get you anything else, or are you okay for now?" The girl asks.
Jester turns to her with a friendly smile on her face. The girl has chestnut brown hair, matching eyes and is wearing a store uniform of a simple nice shirt and pants. She has a clipboard held up to her chest with both hands and a welcoming smile on her face, something much more genuine than the typical customer service smile.
"It truly is the case that nothing brings about a sense of community better than tragedy," Jester says in answer.
Her words are such a non sequitur that it takes the waitress a moment to process them properly. "Um.. what?" She asks after an awkward silence.
"I was just thinking out loud, ah, what's your name?"
"Oh, I'm Sydnee, nice to meet you?"
"I'm sure it is, Sydnee," Jester smiles. "Tell me something, in the past one hundred years, during which times did the world experience the greatest sense of community spirit?"
"It was during the Great Wars," Jester answers without giving Sydnee a chance to speak. "Those wars were also when humanity experienced it's greatest technological innovation. So, it makes some things pretty clear to see, right?"
"Um, Miss? Are you going to order anything?" Sydnee asks, starting to get somewhat uncomfortable with this random woman's ranting. Jester ignores her.
"Chaos without order can lead only to destruction, but order without chaos leads only to stagnation. So the question becomes, would you rather stagnate forever, or face destruction and finally improve? Chaos is dangerous for sure, the death counts of the wars are enough proof of that. But chaos has it's benefits. I truly believe that we humans can accomplish anything as long as we have the drive to strive for our dreams. And what better motivation is there, than the looming threat of destruction?"
"Uhh, Miss?" Sydnee takes a step back, feeling increasingly unnerved, but before she can, one of Jester's arms lurches forward and grabs hold of her own. Immediately, Sydnee realises that the woman in front of her is a Parahuman. The grip around her arm isn't tight enough to be incredibly painful, but after just a moment of jostling, she can tell that the grip feels like steel, completely unyielding and unnatural.
Her face rapidly starts to pale, her eyes widen, knees shake and she drops her clipboard, while Jester's face too starts to pale, and then keeps paling until it is unnaturally white, like paint, with a wide, growing smile.
"You see, chaos is the answer, it is the only way to advance~. Without it, we can only stagnate. How boring would that be~? It would seriously suck~. The weak will die, both body and spirit, and the strong will thrive. A greater humanity will be born~. Isn't that cool~?"
Jester flops back into her seat, dragging Sydnee forward a step with a yelp, though she is too afraid to do anything else. Most people have a fight or flight instinct, but Sydnee is among those who instead have a fight or freeze instinct, and she knows she can't fight.
"Honestly, I hate community spirit, it's such a boring lie~. Because despite what I said earlier, the wars also saw massive increases in crime, because the so called 'community spirit' is incredibly fragile. All it is, is the weak gathering together in the hope that quantity will become a quality on it's own. What are you, ants? How boring~, how stagnant~. The exceptional should be the ones thriving, not the boring masses who can only find strength and confidence in a crowd~."
Her face abruptly twists into a scowl and Sydnee whimpers as the grip on her arm tightens. "How pathetic." Jester spits out, before immediately bouncing back to smiling.
One of the other servers notices that his co-worker appears to be in a jam and approaches to help. His angle of approach leaves him unable to see Jester's snow-white face.
"Maybe it's just a symptom of being an only child, but I believe that if you can't thrive alone, then you don't deserve to rely on anyone else, y'know?" She pauses as if she expects the waitress to answer, and shakes her head when she doesn't.
"Well whatever," she says as she pushes herself to her feet, pockets John's cash, and releases Sydnee to stretch her arms above her head, her back arching like a cat.
Finishing her stretch, she turns her eyes back to Sydnee, who clearly doesn't realise the full extent of her situation, since she is still standing there.
Smiling at the girl, Jester says, "I'm going to kill you now, for no particular reason at all."
Putting actions to words, Jester's arm transforms into a large serrated blade from her bicep down.
Sydnee's eyes widen, and she opens her mouth as if to scream. Yet she never gets the chance to, as Jester's arm swings up in a blur, cleaving through her body from the waist to the neck on the other side.
The sudden movement brought the eyes of everyone in the café to them just in time for Sydnee's upper half to slide off her lower half. Both halves hit the ground and someone screams. Jester ignores them.
Instead of paying attention to the growing panic around her, Jester simply kneels down and grabs one of the kidneys that have fallen out of Sydnee's open wounds.
A waitstaff rushes her and swings a fire extinguisher at her head, but she stops it cold with her free hand. He tries to pull his makeshift weapon free, but her grip is unyielding.
"Well someone's fight or flight instinct is defective~," Jester comments as she rises back to full height and smiles at the shaking man staring at her with wide eyes.
Not breaking eye contact, Jester brings Sydnee's organ up to her face and gently glides it's edge over her lips and further up her cheeks in an extended smile.
"I left my makeup at home you see~," she says before abruptly lunging forward and slamming the fist holding Sydnee's kidney into his face with enough force to shatter through his teeth and into his mouth.
He tries to pull away, to struggle and defend himself, but she ignores all of his attacks and simply uses her free hand to grab him by the hair so she can push her other hand down his throat, forcing him to swallow his peer's fresh organ.
His eyes bulge so much it seems they will pop out, and she knows that the blood filling his mouth stops being Sydnee's alone as the soft tissue of his throat tears at her rough treatment.
"Y'know, I've realised something recently~." Jester doesn't stop pushing until her elbow reaches his mouth, obviously using her power to thin her arm out a bit so he doesn't simply die. "Things have been too orderly~," she muses to herself.
"Well, that's not quite right. What I meant is, I have been too orderly." Once she's done, she pulls her arm out and he immediately collapses to the ground and starts vomiting and coughing and crying too.
"Seriously," she continues, "All this chaos with shit blowing up, and I didn't even orchestrate it! What the fuck is up with that!!" She kicks him in the ribs hard enough that he flies into one of the other fleeing customers and slams them both into a table, sending plates and cups crashing to the ground.
"It's not like I don't have my own plans or anything, but Bakuda has shown me that I've really lost my touch. I've been so busy planning long term, that I forgot what matters. I've been too orderly, restraining myself for the sake of future plans. Well, fuck that! Limiting myself has never been my way. I feel like I'm going through a revelation here and no one is even paying attention!" Both her arms turn into large serrated blades and Jester rapidly extends them and lashes out at the building around her, cutting through the walls and collapsing it on top of herself.
"Maybe I have been in a slump," she mutters to herself under the rubble. "Like sure, I've been kidnapping some people for my Frankenstein project, but when was the last time I just caused a slaughter for the hell of it? When was the last time I really let loose?"
Lying under the remains of the restaurant, Jester starts to shake. "Heh. Heheh. HehehehehahahaHAHAHA!!" The rubble explodes as Jester bursts into the open air, laughing like she's high. "God, this is so EMBARRASSING!! HAHAHAHA!"
Calming down from her fit of laughter but never losing her wide smile, Jester pans her eyes around, takin in the sights. Some people, mostly those who escaped the café are running away, alongside long-time Brocktonites who just know that if you see a group of people running in Brockton that you join them.
However, the majority of the people she can see are all just staring in her direction with varying degrees of shock.
Jester gives them a grin that none of them return. "Oh well~, there's no point in dwelling on the past~. Might as well just enJOY THE PRESENT!!"
Jester launches herself forward and simply tears the first person she reaches in half. That's when the screaming starts.
People bleed, and they die and they scream.
Jester laughs.
There was no style or method to her actions, she just turned herself into a whirlwind of death. Rush the closest person, cut them to pieces, rush the next closest person, punch through their chest, rush the next, tear them apart.
Over and over again. She doesn't focus on killing blows, though very few will survive.
By the time three minutes pass, the blood of over two dozen people have been spilt and another two buildings have been ruined, including the one that Jester saw people trying to rebuild.
Coming to a stop, Jester realises that there's no one left in her immediate vicinity and lets out a relaxed chuckle. "That was fun~," she voices to no one as she rolls her neck.
Still, as much as she'd like to keep going and tango with the Heroes that will no doubt be there within the minute, she actually does need to be somewhere in.. ten minutes.
"Dang, I'm gonna be late,~" she whines out loud and kicks a disembodied head with a pout.
Oh well, better get going before the Heroes arrive and she ends up even later.
With that plan in mind, she sets to leave only to notice a weird distortion in the air at the end of the street. She turns just in time to watch space warp in a way that's really disorienting to look at and deposit little Vista on a roof a short distance away.
They make eye contact, well, Jester can't see through the girl's visor, but she assumes, and Jester freezes like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar.
She understands that Vista being here means that other Heroes will join her literally within seconds if the little space warper isn't distracted. So, thinking quickly, Jester grabs the nearest corpse, that is mostly intact, and lobs it at the girl as hard as she can.
the body falls apart mid-air, sending blood and organs spraying around and sufficiently traumatising Vista enough that Jester can dash away without being noticed.
As soon as she is out of line of sight, Jester turns up the speed and runs as fast as she can, which is very fast.
It's not particularly difficult for her to avoid any other people, and if she can't ignore them she just kills them quickly and keeps moving until she is far enough away that she doesn't think she will have to worry about any flying Capes.
That's when she takes the more expedient route of travel that is the wonderous rooftops. Brockton Bay is mostly two and three story buildings, so it's not even difficult to run as the crow flies.
She hears plenty of sirens and sees a few emergency vehicles zoom down the street to where she's coming from, but nobody notices her.
Truly, she is the greatest escape artist. A master of disguise and not getting caught! She chuckles to herself at her thoughts.
So it is that Jester drops down into a random alley with a grin on her face and a body flushed with endorphins and painted with blood.
Glancing around the alley, she belatedly realises it's occupied by a small group of teenagers crouched in a circle smoking cigarettes and drinking canned beer staring at her in shock.
"Tsk, that's illegal y'know~?" Jester says as she does a quick headcount.
Three boys, one girl. Only one of the boys is white, the rest of them are all black. White kid looks like a typical stoner, the other two dudes look similar enough that she doesn't bother to separate them in her mind and the girl only stands out by virtue of being really pretty in a classically feminine way, but choosing to dress like a street whore. She even has a purple streak in her hair that does not look professionally done.
Not a good dress choice for a black girl who's fifteen at best in a city like this.
"Uh, I'm pretty sure it's illegal to have that much blood on you." The girl responds in a tone that tries to be casual but comes out with a slight waver.
"Aisha!" One of the black dudes harshly whispers at the girl, rotating between glaring at her and fearfully glancing at Jester.
"What? I'm just sayin'. 'S not like she can complain about a little underage drinking, I doubt she ended up looking like that following the law."
"Please, shut the fuck up!" The same guy, or maybe the other black one, whispers back, visibly trembling.
Is she being racist right now? Nah, they just really do look alike, same hair and everything. Maybe they're brothers? She doesn't really care. Though, now that she's thinking about it, she did just kill a lot of white people.
If anything, that would be racist.
"This is for equality~!" Jester exclaims, making the teens all jump and turn to her.
She lunges forward as a blur, grabs both black dudes by their heads and slams them together. Neither has time to scream before their heads turn into mush in her hands, splattering grey matter all over her and the remaining guy's faces.
"Bleh!" Jester exclaims while the other two scream. "I got brain in my eye! Fuck!" The guy stumbles backwards and falls onto his ass while the girl tries to run, but Jester kicks her into the wall hard enough to break a few ribs.
"Kidding~," Jester turns to the girl with a grin and turns her eyelashes into mini windscreen wipers to clear her eyes of gore. "I was just curious if either of you would take the chance to book it~. Good on you by the way~, as a reward for your quick thinking, I'll kill you last~."
It's not like the girl will be running again until she gets some rest.
Giving her one last wink, Jester turns deeper into the alley where the stoner boy is and saunters up to him.
"W-w-wait wait wait wait! No no no nonononono," the guy continues to mumble as he crab crawls away from her.
"Yes yes yes yesyesyesyeseseseehh~," Jester mocks, sticking her tongue out once she starts to fuck up the word. "What's that called?" She absently asks him while stepping on and through his shin. "Semantic satiation?" She continues even as bone cracks and shatters and the boy screams like a dying pig.
"Hmm," she brings a finger up to her chin, "No, I think that's when you repeat a word so many times it starts to sound weird. Eh," she shrugs, "Who gives a shit?"
Done talking, Jester simply continues walking, her next step going through his opposite thigh, then though his hip, then his ribs, then, finally, her boot comes down on his whimpering, tear stained face.
Crunch.
Jester lets out a short sigh and turns around, briefly pausing to enjoy the sight of an alley full of corpses. "Welp! Best get going then~," she says to herself as she starts to leave, her body shifting as she does so.
Her skin darkens, taking on a sandy tan and her hair lightens until it turns pure white. As it does, she takes a beanie out of her pocket and tucks her hair under it, because white hair stands out.
Then again, so does bloody clothes but she has a bag near hear with a change to switch into.
However, right as she is two steps from leaving the alley, she pauses, her leading foot only touching the ground at the heel as she stops mid-step.
Her head tilts to the side and her brows furrow. Something... Something happened.
Turning to the side, she looks at an empty, relatively untouched part of the alley and stares at the wall, feeling a strange feeling not unlike déjà vu. "Aisha?" She whispers to herself, the name coming unbidden to her lips even as her now sterling green eyes scan the empty wall.
"Aisha as in the wife Muhammad fucked when she was nine? Why the fuck am I thinking about this?" She mutters to herself, deeply confused.
"Ahh, fuck it, who cares, I'm already late. Tsk, I'll buy muffins or something on the way so I have an excuse."
Shaking off whatever that was, Mary strolls out of the alley, her mind entirely occupied by what flavour of muffin to buy.
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A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!
Dun! Dun! Duuuuuunn!!!
I have no idea how many of you saw this coming because I can't remember how obvious the hints I dropped were, but my plan of straight up asking people "What do you think about Jester and Mary" seems like it would kind of be a giveaway.
So yeah! There are some shenanigans going on! ψ(｀∇´)ψ
It's so unfortunate for those three people to have been in that alley, talk about wrong place at the wrong time. Oh well, I'm sure there's not going to be any repercussions to Jester killing all three of those three teenagers who numbered only three... ;]
Also, what do you think about the title? I made myself laugh when I came up with it xP
Ah shit, I just remembered that I wanted to write in more character interactions so you don't forget everyone, but I forgor :(
Next chap for sure.
