Kevin the Bored
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2 Job Interview?
🕑 Added 2023-11-06 21:15:42 +0000 UTCProtectorate ENE Headquarters.
2009, June 12th, 10:30.
The Protectorate Headquarters, otherwise known as PHQ, of the Parahuman Response Team's East North East branch is a refitted oil rig sitting out in the bay, a massive translucent barrier extending from the structure to either side of the bay, making the horizon seem oversaturated as one looks through it.
The barrier was originally designed as a bubble that covered the PHQ, however it was refitted by the late Protectorate ENE leader Armsmaster to be used as a flood barrier in response to the global flooding caused by a fight between two S-Class threats. However, the barrier has since become pointless, as after six long months of flooding, sea levels have returned to their normal levels.
Inside of the PHQ, the Director of the ENE branch, Emily Piggot, sits in her office alongside Miss Militia, watching her monitor with some level of incredulity while waiting for Assault and Battery to join them.
"Ne ne, Zou-chan?"
The monitor is split in two, each feed showing a separate cell. In one cell is a young, doll-like teen with fading makeup, pure black hair down to the waist, pale skin, an incredibly lithe, four foot ten frame and an earnest expression. They are wearing the standard prison sweats, black, with the word 'Villain' printed across the shoulders and down the right leg in white, with a white t-shirt with the same word in black.
"Hai hai, Suzu-kun?"
The other cell shows a young woman with long, snow white hair, tanned skin and pleasant features that are also marred by fading makeup. She is the taller of the two by almost an entire foot, with curves that speak of a maturity that her companion lacks. She is wearing the same outfit, except that she's ripped the bottom of the shirt off, turning it into a rough crop top to show off her toned stomach, and is wearing the upper half of her sweats around her waist like a skirt. They both have the same black eyes.
"I thought of something funnier than nine hundred and seventy-six."
The cells are a pair of the lower security ones here in the PHQ; normally not where parahuman prisoners would be placed, but they were given leeway by Miss Militia on Assault's word that they are being cooperative.
"Lemme hear it."
Being that they are in the lower security cells, they are not completely boxed in, having actual bars between them and the hallway, instead of a solid wall. This allows both of the prisoners clear view of each other. Something that they have been taking advantage of since they woke up this morning to entertain themselves.
"Nine hundred and seventy-seven!"
As Director Piggot watches the pair burst into laughter again, for the nine hundred and seventy-seventh time, she can only conclude that she has been right all along.
"Ne ne, Suzu-kun?"
It's the only logical explanation for how they can still act like this. They woke up a little over four hours ago, in a prison cell. Since then, for four. Hours. they have just been repeating the same. Shitty. Joke. Over. And Over.
"Hai hai, Zou-chan?"
It's the only way she can rationalise what she has been watching. The only way she can accept that anyone would entertain this for four hours.
"I thought of something funnier than nine hundred and seventy-seven."
Parahumans are all insane.
Thankfully for Director Piggot, the knock on her door that she was waiting for finally comes, and she mutes the feed right as Assault makes his way inside, not waiting to be called in. She is far too used to his lacking adherence to protocol at this point to even bother scowling at him, something she is sure he counts as a win.
"You're late."
"Sorry, sorry; I had a bathroom emergency," Assault relaxedly answers, a cheerful smile on his face.
Until his partner, Battery walks in after him and elbows him in the rib, which he pretends hurts him. "He's lying Ma'am. He was watching cat videos."
Assault pouts at the 'betrayal', an unattractive sight for a man of his stature. Though the pout quickly fades away under Piggot's glare, replaced by a careless grin. "They were some really cute cats; silly little guys~," he admits with an unconcerned shrug, "but we're here now, so what's up, Boss?"
She holds her glare for a moment, though it's Battery that sweats nervously as a result, Assault not minding the glare one bit, before eventually just shaking her head minutely and moving on.
With one hand, she grabs the top of her monitor and spins it around, allowing the pair of Heroes in front of her to see the two prisoners, once again laughing with each other. "You are the ones who encountered these two, and you are the ones who said they would be cooperative. Miss Militia is going down to interrogate them shortly; now is your chance to share anything that might be useful for her to know."
Looking at the two of them, both sitting cross legged and facing off-screen, clearly looking to each other, Assault grins a little. "Ah, those two. Yeah, I was thinking we could flip 'em; they seem fun."
"You're recommending them for the Wards?" Piggot asks, getting a simple nod from Assault, and the silent support of Battery. "Well, that's generally the plan when dealing with underage Villains anyway. Now, do you have anything for Militia other than 'they seem fun'?"
Assault just shrugs, as if the pair being fun was all the relevant information needed. Battery however, speaks up in his place. "For one, while we have been able to do a full background on Rei Suzuya, we haven't found anything on Juuzou."
"Yes, Juuzou is likely an alias. I plan on having her blood tested to find out who she really is."
"Uh, wouldn't that violate the Rules, Ma'am?"
Director Piggot waves Battery's concerns away. "Not if she agrees to become a Ward, then it'd just be procedure."
Conceding the point with a nod of the head, Battery remembers one more little detail. "Oh, and I noticed that Rei would refer to Juuzou with the suffix of 'chan', while Juuzou refers to Rei with 'kun'."
Miss Militia seems to understand what she is getting at, and is quick to elaborate for the other two. "In Japanese they use suffixes a lot, and 'chan' is used for children, girls generally, while 'kun' is usually used for boys. Which would mean that Rei Suzuya is a boy."
As she finishes speaking, their eyes are all drawn to the monitor on Piggot's desk. Even though only Assault and Battery can see it, the other two still remember what the 'boy' looks like.
"...Are you sure about that?" Assault asks, gesticulating at the incredibly effeminate looking teenager.
"Yes. He in detainment, and has been stripped and searched accordingly... I assure you, it was quite the surprise."
"You don't say..."
"Regardless, I think it's about time you start those interviews, Miss Militia."
"Yes Ma'am." Nodding her head, Miss Militia picks up a manila folder from Piggot's desk and moves around the desk, giving the pair of Heroes a nod as she exits the room.
Moving through the PHQ's halls, she soon makes it down to the cells. A simple nod is enough for the 'warden' to get up and follow after her, keys in hand. Soon enough, the pair reach the familiar hallway.
Walls of steel and concrete, lined with steel bars, each showing the same empty room. One bed, metal and fused with the floor. There is a shower built into the wall, five foot high, and an Indian style toilet beneath it. A flatscreen TV is embedded into the wall, protected behind thick glass walls.
They're not exactly homey, but they are still better than the higher security cells.
"-of something funnier than one thousand and three."
Her lip twitches slightly as she gets closer to the pair. She really thought they'd stop at one thousand.
As they get closer, Miss Militia's eyes turn to her side as her walking partner mutters to himself, "oh my god shut the fuck up."
Deciding to ignore that, Militia puts on a professional smile as the two Villains finally come into view.
"One thousand and four!"
She waits for both of them to stop rolling on the floor with laughter, somehow still finding the joke funny, before clearing her throat.
"Oho! Visitor!" Suzuya yells out, jumping to her feet and slamming her smiling face against the bars, not seeming to mind the impact or the way it makes her long black hair spill over her face, and reaching both of her arms out in a grasping motion. "Give to me my freedom! I trade all my money! I have ten American Dollar!"
Before Miss Militia can give a response to that, there is a bang on her opposite side of the hall, and she is entirely unsurprised to see Juuzou's face pressed against her own cell, her arms holding the bars either side of her face as she stares intensely into Militia's eyes.
"I will give you twenty dollars to refuse her ten."
"Nani! Betrayal! How could you do this to me, Zou-chan!?"
"You ate my burger!"
"Two weeks ago!"
Turning to the two adults, Juuzou puts on her most serious expression. "She just said that she is guilty and should not be given bail."
"LIES!!!"
Right as Juuzou opens her mouth to fire back, a crisp clap makes her pause, and all eyes turn to Miss Militia, who is standing there with her hands held together, and a smile on her face that, despite being covered nose down, is still easy to recognise.
Now that she has their attention, Miss Militia turns first to Juuzou, "I know Japanese," before turning to Suzuya, "I'm going to be interviewing you both, starting with you, Suzuya-san. Please step away from the bars."
Completely misinterpreting her words, Suzuya steps away from the bars while giving Juuzou an incredibly smug smile.
"Dumbass," Juuzou replies to the smirk with a roll of her eyes, her voice droll, "interviews are procedure, she's not just saying that as an excuse to let you go. You'd have to have at least twenty five dollars for that."
"Eh?"
Suzuya's wide eyes meet Miss Militia, who does her best not to react. "You would need at least twenty five dollars."
Immediately following her words, a cloud of depression seems to form over Suzuya as he hunches his shoulders and stares at the floor. He doesn't make a sound as the 'warden' unlocks his cell, and just wordlessly follows him out into the hall.
Only to trip and fall right on his face with an oof as soon as they start leaving.
From his place on the ground, Suzuya looks up at the two adults in front of him, and then rotates his head to behind him, where Juuzou is slowly bringing her leg back into her own cell from where it was used to trip him.
"Suzu-kun."
"Hai, Zou-chan."
"...Watch out."
"...Thanks."
///
It didn't take long after that for Suzuya to be lead into a closed room. Four walls. No windows. One door and one big mirror. Inside there is only one simple desk, with a chair either side of it. In the corners opposite the door, there are a pair of tall plants, and there's a small stack of extra chairs in the corner behind the open door.
It could hardly be considered an interrogation room, but that is only on account of the pair of Villains being so cooperative, otherwise Suzuya would be in cuffs at the very least.
Instead, he is casually lounging in his chair, tipping it onto it's back two legs with one of his feet on the side of the table for balance. Both of his arms are just dangling by their sides as he looks around the room with undisguised curiosity, a happy smile on his face.
But it only takes a short moment after he gets comfortable for Miss Militia to enter the room, folder in hand.
"Sorry for making you wait, Suzuya-san," Miss Militia starts off as she takes her seat opposite him, placing her folder on the table and giving him an eye smile under her scarf.
Suzuya responds by giving her a double thumbs up, smiling even wider. "No Problem!" He says, before pointing to the wide mirror opposite him, "is that a one-sided mirror?"
She nods her head with a light smile. "Just like in the movies." she says in Japanese, sounding like she is agreeing, but not really. "Would you be more comfortable if I speak Japanese?"
Contrary to her expectation, Suzuya actually shakes his head negative. "Īe. Zou-chan say I never learn if I never listen."
"I see. And how long have you known Miss Juuzou?"
Suzuya just shrugs his shoulders, his eyes tracking Miss Militia's power, a green mass of energy constantly shifting between various weapons, as it transitions from a knife in her belt to a pistol in her previously empty holster.
Miss Militia notices the curiosity, but pushes forward without addressing it for now. "You don't know?"
"Īe."
"Can you make an estimate for me? A guess?"
"Year? Years? Maybe? A while."
It worries her slightly that he doesn't seem to have much, if any, sense of time. It indicates a rather poor home environment, which is admittedly expected here, but nevertheless disheartening to hear. "I see. Was she a member of Restaurant Innocence before or after you?"
"After. Papa got Zou-chan at discount because she killed some of Papa people and whoever owned her before wanted to apologise or something. Very embarrassing." His smile takes on a slightly wistful tune as he thinks back to all the times he's teased Zou-chan for being cheap.
Meanwhile, Miss Militia only finds her concern growing. "Miss Juuzou was sold to, uh, Big Master, I'm assuming that he is 'Papa'?"
"Hai hai. Papa is Papa." He nods his head, as if conveying a piece of wisdom.
Hiding her discomfort at a teenager referring to a known Master as 'Papa', Miss Militia decides to steer the conversation away from that for now, deciding to get more details from the elder of the two, as Suzuya is clearly too innocent, relatively speaking, to understand the gravity of her situation. "...Right. Suzuya-san, could you tell me a little about yourself, and your family?"
"Hai hai. I am Suzuya Rei, I'm probably fifteen, I like sweets and the funny way people fall over when they die." Miss Militia almost chokes on her saliva, not expecting to hear such words so casually. "I don't like coffee, Zou-chan says it good, but it just bitter. My papa is Papa, and my mama is Mama, and I have all my bones inside my skin."
The happy smile that he wears doesn't match his unsettling words, and Miss Militia really doesn't think she wants to know what he meant with the last part about his bones.
"Probably fifteen? Do you know the date? Or the day you were born?"
"No clue."
"I see. Do you know who your family is?"
"Papa and Mama."
"The two adults who were with you in that warehouse? The parahumans?" She clarifies, only for Suzuya to give her a puzzled look.
"That's what I said?"
Miss Militia considers how to phrase her next question, before soon coming to the realisation that there's no real easy way to ask. "...Right. Are you...aware, that they are not, in fact, your birth parents?"
"Uhuh. Papa and Mama kidnap us for violence in movies and sex on TV. I do not really know what that means, but Zou-chan says it what happened."
"A-and, you're not, uh, bothered? By this?"
"Not really. They die anyway."
"R-right. Well, moving on. Have you put any thought into what you are going to do moving forward?" At the confused head tilt that she gets in response, Miss Militia continues, "what are your plans for the future? What will you do next in life?"
"Uh... Jail? You catch us, we go to jail? That how this work?"
Hearing the genuine confusion in his tone, Miss Militia finds herself feeling slightly confused. "Do you.. do you want to go to prison?"
"No?"
"Then- Never mind. In that case, how about an alternative?"
"Al-er-what?"
"Alternative."
"Oh! Yes, I give information on Zou-chan for smaller jail time!" Suzuya exclaims with a sudden excitable energy.
Miss Militia twitches slightly, mentally lamenting the fact that it's never this easy to get any other criminals to give up information. "That is not what I meant. My offer comes with no jail time whatsoever-"
"I accept!"
"You didn't even hear the-"
"No jail! I accept!"
"Could you please just let me-"
"No sweets in jail! I accept!"
"I legally have to tell you-"
"Accept!"
"Su-"
"ACCEPT!!"
Sigh.
It ended up taking Miss Militia an embarrassing amount of time to actually explain to Suzuya that her offer was to join the Wards instead of facing jail time, and rather unsurprisingly, Suzuya's decision didn't change after hearing the actual offer, though they will need to go over more details at a later date.
After that, she simply brought the happily humming boy back to his cell, where Juuzou is still sitting in her own cell, looking at them with a grin as they return.
"Don't worry, Zou-chan! I never sell you out!" Suzuya exclaims as she is locked back in her cell, and the 'warden' moves to open Juuzou's instead.
Said girl puts on a proud face and wipes away an imaginary tear as she leaves the cell. "I never doubted you, Suzu-kun!"
Miss Militia only shakes her head slightly, smiling at their antics as she leads the grinning girl away, only to notice something slightly unsettling.
The very instant that Juuzou turns the first corner, she suddenly seems to...change.
The change immediately puts Miss Militia on guard, but the girl just keeps walking, not seeming to notice the abrupt tenseness in Miss Militia's body. It's only after realising that Juuzou is not going to attack that Miss Militia calms down and returns to walking by her side, now paying far more attention to the girl than before.
Her smile from before that seemed so mirthful and genuine is simply gone, replaced by an indifferent expression with flat lips and lazy eyes. Where she was moving with energy before, now her steps are calm and measured. The whole 'air' she is giving off has changed from that of a buoyant, excitable girl to a calm, aloof woman. She even seems more mature than just a moment ago, walking taller than she was before.
The first thought that comes to Miss Militia's mind is psychopathy, but if that was the case then it would be unlikely for her to let the fake personality drop, which makes her think sociopathy, only to dismiss that too, because then it would be unlikely that she would bother with a fake personality.
Both could still be correct, but Miss Militia thinks it more likely that Juuzou is simply putting on a fake smile for Suzuya's sake. She's seen this sort of thing happen before, in fact it's actually quite a common thing when a number of women are kidnapped for the eldest to put on a fake smile in hopes of making things easier for the younger girls.
That kind of dynamic doesn't usually happen with men, funnily enough.
It's kind of depressing that Miss Militia even has as much experience as she does with slavery, but it's hard not to with a rage dragon gang lord living in her city with his 'brothels'.
Still, soon enough she is in a familiar position, only with Juuzou sitting opposite her this time.
Just like Suzuya did, she leans back into her seat, propping herself on it's back legs with one foot against the side of the table separating them. Only, unlike the childish curiosity that was clear with the younger boy's posture, Juuzou rests one arm on her raised knee, while her other elbow rests against her chair's armrest, allowing her to rest her face against a closed fist as she stares squarely forward, looking unblinkingly into Miss Militia's eyes.
"That's not a one-sided mirror, is it?"
Blinking at the unexpected words, Miss Militia briefly glances at the large mirror behind her, before turning back to Juuzou with a raised brow. "And what makes you say that?"
"Well, the boys in blue only started using the mirrors cuz cameras were too big back then, but these days you can make cameras the size of pin. So logically, you'd use cameras for observation, which would leave the mirror as a red herring or something. Plus, I imagine it'd make whoever's being interrogated more comfortable if the room matches with their expectations from movies and the like."
"Quite the impressive deduction, Miss Juuzou," Miss Militia says, surprised once again. It's not like anything she said is particularly ground breaking, but the fact that she noticed and articulated it all gives quite the insight into who she is as a person, "but is there a reason you felt the need to point that out?"
Clearly she's smart, and any smart person knows that it would be better to keep their intelligence hidden in the kind of scenario, so clearly she has some reason to have revealed her hand, so to speak. Miss Militia is curious as to what it is.
"Because now you know I'm not an idiot-" Bingo "-we can skip the pointless formalities of a softball 'totally not an interrogation' interrogation. Just get to the point and outline what you want and what it will cost, and I'll do the same."
Straight to the point huh?
To be frank, Miss Militia finds the blunt, straightforwardness rather refreshing. Much better than schemers and the like. Politics can be tiring. She's more of a soldier than a politician anyway.
"Alright, I can respect that. I want you to join the Wards. You'd be on probation for six months, when a review will be held to decide if you can be taken off parole. You'll still be paid, though your wage will be reduced while on parole, and I would like to know some more about you. Name, family, age, stuff like that; core details."
"You don't want me to talk about Papa? What even happened to the others anyway?"
"No. We can talk about that, and your power, another time. For now, this meeting is just about you and your willingness to join the Wards. As for the others, Party Trick managed to escape in the confusion, but the other two are in custody."
"Hmm." A shrug passes through her shoulders. "Sure. Well, I'm Juuzou right now. I probably have an actual name, but I've been getting passed around for most of my life, and whoever 'owns' me at the time generally gives me a new name. I don't remember my family, my name or my age. I don't want to go to prison, and I don't really care about Papa like Suzu does, so I've no problem going turncoat."
Miss Militia gives the girl a welcoming smile, clear even with half her face hidden by the warmth in the older woman's eyes. Only for her expression to freeze as the mood in the room abruptly changes.
It only takes a second to see why, as Juuzou pushes a little against the table, propping herself further back and tilting her head up so that she can look down her nose at the Hero, and when she speaks, her tone is filled with sadistic condescension.
"Even if it means I have to play 'Hero' with you deluded fools~."
Taken aback by the sudden vitriolic words, Miss Militia takes a second to respond, and even then, she struggles to come up with the words. "W-what?"
"You heard me, Hero~," the mockery in her tone is clear and heavy as she looks down on the Hero, "I'll play the part, all smiles and sunshine and rainbows. I'll let you dress me up in your ridiculous clothes and give me another stupid name to add to the pile. I'll be the perfect little picture of a reformed Hero or whatever the fuck you want."
Juuzou gives a a quick shrug before kicking her foot from the table, using the moment of weightlessness to cross her arms under her bust before the chair hits the floor, the sound seeming to resonate louder than it should.
Then, her expression changes from one of vicious mockery to a bright, innocent face, and if not for the previous conversation, Miss Militia is unsure if she would even realise that she was being lied to.
"Don't you worry Miss Hero~! I'll do my best to make the world a better place~! You can count on me~!" She even finishes off by making a peace sign and winking at Miss Militia. "Of course, I'll have a condition or two~."
Miss Militia simply makes a 'go on' gesture, making Juuzou give her an even brighter smile, before dropping the act completely, her face and going blank and voice bland. "I'll be wanting to negotiate my time off, and you're not taking Suzuya away from me. We're a package deal. So long as those two conditions are met, then I honestly couldn't give a fuck about having to play Hero. It's hardly like it can be any worse than my life up until now, after all."
As disconcerting as the obvious psychological issues are, Miss Militia decides to focus on the positives, such as how the two clearly seem to care about each other, to some degree at least. She'll need a therapist, obviously, both of them will. But a part of the Wards program is to help young parahumans not fall into the bad side of the law.
Clearly the girl has some distaste of the Heroic profession, but that's hardly an unheard of opinion from the perspective of victims. It's difficult to reconcile with the fact that there are people claiming to be Heroes who save people when you've suffered so long without anyone saving you.
So Miss Militia doesn't judge the young woman for her views, and only hopes that she can provide a stable, healthy environment for them both to heal and grow in.
"Your conditions are hardly steep, I'm sure they will be accepted," she says with an eye smile, choosing to repay hostility with positivity, "now let's get you back to your cell for the night. This will all be sorted out in just a few days, you'll be sleeping on proper beds in no time, I promise."
Her goodwill only gets an eyeroll in response. "Yeah yeah, I get it, you're real nice."
Miss Militia makes sure to watch the younger girl closely as they return to the cells, and she finds herself morbidly curious as she watches Juuzou close her eyes, and then open them as a whole new person, her demeanour changing in an instant back to how it was before she left.
Yet, it's with a smile that Miss Militia watches the young woman skip back to her cell.
"Sorry, Suzu-kun! I totally sold you out!"
"Nani!?!"
///
A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!
This chapter took me like 5 fucking days to write lmao. 4k words tho, so there's that.
Yeah, I'm deffo gon be doing longer chapters this time 'round. Also, I thought this would be fun like writing therapy, but then I realised that therapy is a lot easier to write than an interrogation :(
Also, I have no idea what these characters are, Juuzou going all serious wasn't something I thought was gonna happen, it just sorta did...
Also, I'm getting back into anime, it's probably noticeable with my writing lol
Comments
Scarletmenace
Thankos for the chapta!
