Kevin the Bored
patreon
136 Money Money Money
🕑 Added 2023-08-06 22:47:38 +0000 UTC"Road trip?" Hearing the dull, if slightly inquisitive voice, I turn to my right, coming face to face with Mimi, the burn scars in the shape of cigarette burns marring her face just as prominent as ever.
Facing Mimi with a smile, I put my keys in the ignition for my brand spanking new car, a Koenigsegg ccx in white. I only remember what it was called because the car cost me over two million to buy, including getting it delivered.
It's definitely a waste of money, but I ๐ข๐ฎ kinda rich, so I might as well, right?
"Yup,~ just a short road trip to The Big Apple,~" I answer.
"But what about Ell-"
Cutting her off before she can finish her complaints, I rev the engine of my car to drown out her words, causing her to snap her mouth shut.
"Don't worry 'bout it, we'll see her soon enough, I just have some business first, then we'll go see her, ok?"
Without waiting for an answer, I immediately start speeding down the interstate.
I bought the whole car, so I am going to use the whole car, which means my pedals are going to be hitting the floor.
I mean, what's even the point in having a supercar if you don't drive over 200 mph?
But, while the rumble of the engine is incredibly satisfying, I'm honestly a little disappointed by the speed. I guess it just isn't as impressive anymore, I mean, Alexandria flew me way faster than this, and while I don't know exactly how fast I can move, I could definitely overtake a normal car just by foot, so it's a lot less impressive than I thought it would be.
Still, even with the speed we're travelling at, we manage to only arrive at New York after nightfall.
Of course, the city is still bustling even at night, and I notice a large number of eyes on us as we navigate the streets, and briefly I'm struck with the thought that they somehow know who I am.
But then I hit zero to sixty in three seconds and remember why they're staring.
I probably should have gone with something more subtle now that I think about it, but to be fair, I don't think anyone is going to be expecting me to be driving this around.
Soon enough the bustling streets are replaced with quiet roads as I drive through Staten island until we reach our destination.
Pulling into another of my new houses, I park inside one of the spots out front, all the while I simply admire the house, since it's my first time actually seeing it in person.
Though, when I say 'house,' it's more like a mix between a mansion and a fucking ๐ค๐ข๐ด๐ต๐ญ๐ฆ with the stone brickwork.
This purchase put me down another few million, and I'll probably run out of money at this rate, but it's not like money is difficult to get, so I'm just going to keep spending it.
I've never lived in luxury before, so why not indulge.
And indulge I surely do. Five bedrooms, eight bathrooms, a pool, a hot tub, indoor gym, a fucking ๐ด๐ข๐ถ๐ฏ๐ข and around an acre of land.
My car actually doesn't seem out of place here, and since it's twenty minutes away from New York proper, it probably isn't going to get destroyed by a cape fight, which is a nice bonus.
Turning the car off, I get out and walk up to the front door, Mimi following behind me, and then I simple knock and wait.
It's not like I have the key with me. I've left the house in the hands of my very capable butlers after all.
After standing around for a few minutes, I realise that no one is opening the door.
My esteemed butlers must be in bed or something.
Briefly I contemplate just kicking the door open, but I don't want to break my fancy new house, so instead I just take out my phone and dial a number.
It rings.
And rings.
And rings.
Then it stops ringing, and I can't help but notice how I am not currently in a phone call with someone.
Feeling a mixture of annoyance and amusement, I call them again.
It rings.
It rings again.
And-
๐๐ญ๐ช๐ค๐ฌ.
"Finally, jeez, I thought you weren't gonna pick up.~" I immediately greet them pleasantly.
"Uhh, h-hello? Who is this? And why are you calling me?" A drowsy voice answers back, clearly having just been sleeping.
Ok, so when I said 'esteemed butlers,' what I actually meant was that I'm letting a collage couple stay here not just for free, but for a small wage, so long as they keep the place tidy for me.
Though, I was surprised at how easy it was.
After all, the house was bought in Mimi's name, not that I'm going to tell her that she technically owns it, because she doesn't, thanks to some legal jargon I don't understand.
Point is, though Mimi is now a free woman, it's not like people don't know that she was Burnscar, but I guess students just really need the money if they were willing to work for a former mass murderer and 'recovering' drug addict.
"I'm the one who owns the house you're in dumbass, and I'm outside the door, come open it already before I get annoyed.~"
I hear a faint 'shit!' as the line goes dead, and after focusing on my own naturally enhanced hearing, I can hear the sounds of a pair of people fumbling around as they no doubt hurry to dress themselves.
Soon enough, the door is slammed open by a guy in dress pants and a hastily buttoned dress shirt, with one of the buttons in the wrong button hole, not that he's noticed.
As soon as his eyes land on me, they grow as wide as saucers and I push my hand forward before he can utter any words.
"Hey there!~ Name's Lusia, nice to meetcha!~"
His mouth opens and closes for a few seconds before he resorts to just pointing at me in shock, turning his face from me to Mimi.
"B-but I thought she-"
Interrupting him before he accidentally lets Mimi know she technically bough this place, I speak with a raised brow.
"And you can't think of any reason why I would have to use someone else's name?" I rhetorically ask, causing realisation to dawn on him.
"Ahh, right, cuz you still have a kill order right? How does that even work, like, legally speaking? Since you're legally dead, does that mean you don't have to pay like, parking fines and stuff anymore, since you're not technically an American citizen and thus not under the jurisdiction of any of our laws?"
So much for being afraid.
Seeing my deadpan look, the guy scratches his cheek sheepishly.
"Sorry, I'm studying law, so I'm curious. Oh right! Uh, come on in?"
Huffing in amusement, I enter, Mimi following behind as the guy holds the door open for us.
"Take us to the kitchen please," I say, admiring the shining, faintly golden walls. There's even a chandelier.
We make it to the kitchen without fanfare, though despite being just a kitchen, I'm pretty sure there's more space here than anywhere I've ever lived before.
The guy's girlfriend is already here, midway through preparing some coffee, which is nice.
She's wearing the same clothes as the guy, and both of them look pretty average. Brown hair on both of them, short for the guy but long for the girl, who also has some freckles. They both even have the same eye colour, and if not for the simple fact that the girl's face is more angular compared to the guy's more square shaped face, I'd think they were siblings.
The coffee is prepared and served in silence, the two 'butlers' clearly nervous, though not nearly as fearful as any normal person would be when sitting next to a pair of serial killers.
though, I guess Mimi is technically a retired serial killer.
taking my coffee when offered, I take a tentative sip, not bothering to wait for it to cool down, because superpowers are awesome.
Meh, it's alright.
Got nothing on Yoshimura though. I wonder if that old guy's still kicking it or not?
"So," I say over my mug, smirking at the way they both startle, "is there any surface you two haven't fucked on yet?"
Both of them take a moment to process my words, and the looks of surprise on their faces get a laugh out of me, but when they don't respond, I just roll my eyes and speak again.
"Chill the fuck out, don't bother thinking about me as the kill order having villain, because I'm not going to make a mess in my fancy ass house, and I'm only like, twenty, so I'm barely even older than you. Just think of me as a rich friend who is probably involved in crime in some way, 'kay?"
The two of them lock eyes for a moment, having a silent conversation until the guy gulps and speaks with a forced casualness.
"Well, we've only been here for about a week, so we've only done the obvious spots."
"Sam!" The girl shouts out in surprise, scandalised at his admission before turning to me, only to find out that I'm already laughing again.
"Obvious places?" I ask with mirth, putting my forefinger to my chin, "so the pool, hot tub, master bedroom, balcony? and obviously this counter, right?~"
The girl looks a mix between horrified and embarrassed, but Sam just matches my grin with his own.
"Well, the pool was actually next on the list."
Laughing some more, conversation flows well enough until I finish my coffee, mostly it was just me and Sam talking about dirty things and teasing his girlfriend, Maddie, so that was fun.
He tried to ask me about law stuff, but I had to inform him that I didn't know what the fuck he was talking about, though I did decide to put him in contact with some people I've come to know at some point.
But despite spending millions on the place, I'm not actually planning on sleeping here, so once I put my mug down, I get to my feet.
"Welp, I actually gotta go, but Mimi here is staying. Take her to a room and light any fires. I don't know when I'll be back exactly, but for now it is your job to take care of Mimi. Any plans you had coming up, cancel them."
Both of them nod their heads obediently, and I turn to leave, only to pause a few steps later as I remember something.
"Oh yeah, I'm taking your car, mine isn't exactly subtle, where are your keys? Also, I'm going to send you both twenty grand, that's just for like, pizza and shit, whatever Mimi wants, keep the change, and you can borrow my car if you want."
Both of their faces light up at the mention of getting paid, Sam's especially as he catches my keys, not hesitating to throw his own back with a smile.
I make my way to the garage to be greeted with a true shitbox of a car. At a generous guess, you could probably sell it for half a grand.
It starts with a couple of snaps from the exhaust.
Maybe less.
But it's exactly what I need, since Clara doesn't stay in a place high end enough for my fancy car to go unnoticed.
Of course, she doesn't know I'm visiting, but that's half the fun really.
Who doesn't love surprises?
=================
A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!
what a boring chapter, but I need to pass some time and set some things up, and you need to trust me on this, because the pay off is gonna be huge. Trust, this chap and the next couple totally aren't to buy time for the sake of a joke that will only last a line or two.
....it'll be funny.
trust.
Also, just cuz I forgot, but this is basically what Riley's outfit was, just with the shirt being black and the tie being red
Comments
Lucy Edwards
lol, fair enough. she's the girl with the elite who lusia seduced to have a spy
Scarletmenace
This was fun. Sounded like the start of a sitcom given the situationโฆ. Also, I forgot who Clara is lol
