Kevin the Bored
patreon
133 Drugs?
🕑 Added 2023-08-03 15:25:23 +0000 UTCTurns out, bringing a small child into a very active night club gets you some very interesting looks.
Doubly so since literally everyone knows that it's a front for James' gang. My eyes drift over the various hearts stitched, painted and engraved all over the building.
He's hardly subtle about it.
Not that he really needs to be with the amount of cash he's got flowing in.
I don't know the exact numbers, but he's a ππ³πΆπ¨ ππͺπ―π¬π¦π³ running a π₯π³πΆπ¨ trade. Not only does he basically have the combined profit from three cities and a couple of towns worth of underworld activities, but he also has a monopoly on any and all the drugs he produces himself.
And I know for a fact that he's started selling his own stuff to other drug empires across the states.
I know because March called me while high off here tits to tell me about how space whales are eating our brains and how some girl going by Flechette was her soul mate or something, with some other deranged rambling about getting new minions that I listened to with half an ear until the line went dead.
I'd honestly thought she'd had a heart attack or something and just straight up died, but when I called up Clara to see if she could get anyone to check on her, I was informed that she wasn't even in NY anymore.
Apparently she hadn't been there in a while too.
A short questioning and a promise to visit later, and I learn that she's not even in the states anymore, because apparently she had a job as a bodyguard up in Vancouver, which is where Dragon lives, so I definitely want to visit at some point.
But anyway, apparently someone set up a portal between our earth, Earth Bet, and an alternate earth, Earth Shin, and has been using it to smuggle shit between earths.
Which, by the way, is π©πͺπ¨π©ππΊ illegal.
Ever since Professor Haywire ripped a hole in reality itself some, twenty years ago, not too long before I was born actually, the knowledge of the multiverse theory being true has stopped being anything to call home about.
Especially since everyone in every dimension basically collectively decided to ban interdimensional travel, so as to avoid any planetary scale wars.
Though, personally I think it was actually a mix between other worlds being scared of us, since something like 99% of all known parahumans are on Earth Bet, so it's safe to say we'd annihilate them.
But frankly we have too much shit to deal with already, like the Endbringers.
So the only thing passing through his portals is information, like movies and tech and such, which makes the thing March has gotten involved in quite a big deal.
Not that I'm going to help her. If she needs any help then she knows she can ask for it, and if she doesn't ask then I'll just assume she's got things under wraps.
Ah, I got distracted again, where were we?
Right, Hearts and Minds.
I should go see if Haywire wants to become a Clown, I'm sure he'd bring a lot of fun to the table.
Shaking my head, I try and actually focus on the world in front of me, giving Riley a pat on the back as I walk through the doors to the club, not being stopped by the pair of guards at the front who glare at me as I do so.
It's a good thing we came before the club actually opens, else this would be so much harder.
I do find it amusing the way all the buff guards and obvious career criminals keep glaring at me though, thinking they're tough.
I'm sure if they actually knew who I was that they wouldn't be so brave, but there's nothing I can do about it. After all, I'm just, uh, Awan Antara. I know nothing about anyone called Lusia or Tear, for I am just a humble, uh, middle eastern? Woman.
Is Awan Antara a middle eastern name?
Honestly, Antara only came to mind because I know it means 'Lovely Goddess.'
Eh, whatever, it doesn't matter.
Because as we walk up to the bar, I take note of a woman standing to face us, with an absolutely stunning body that immediately takes my attention.
I only stop ogling her curves when Riley elbows me on the side, snapping me out of my lust.
...It's been a while ok? I didn't want Riley to watch or hear me having sex, and I'm not exactly the quiet type.
The woman is dressed in reds and blacks, as expected, and she gives us both an appraising look before seemingly dismissing us, though the glare never leaves her face, even as she turns around and walks off, clearly expecting us to follow.
We didn't confirm who we are, but realistically, how many effective mother-daughter pairs are going to be coming in here?
"Come on then. No using your powers, if you have any, or I'll take your hands. Don't speak to around the Boss without permission and don't stare."
My lips twitch in a barely supressed grin at her 'menacing' words, and even Riley seems amused by them, clearly knowing that not only will I be able to protect her from anything the sexy lady tries, but also just how little it would matter to me if she toom my hands.
"Oh I wouldn't worry about that,~ we don't have any powers I'm afraid,~ just a pair of totally normal normals.~"
The look she sends back tells me that she's just been convinced that we do have powers, which sucks, because I felt like lying.
Guess I got carried away and made it way too obvious.
Ah well, it really doesn't matter even a little bit.
Soon enough, we reach a fancy elevator, and then proceed to ignore it completely, apparently, as the woman leads us to another elevator nearby that looks more like a supply closet.
Gotta love the misdirection.
"I wonder what the other elevator leads to?" I ask, turning to Riley with a smile, "do you think they have a pool full of alligators that it drops you into?"
That would be cool, like a Bond movie.
riley is clearly excited by the idea, while I get the feeling that we're wearing Ms Sexy's patience thin with how lackadaisical we're being.
Maybe I should offer her some help to unwind? She clearly needs to learn to relax a little.
The elevator opens and with another short walk, we finally end up in front of an opulent wooden door, and I'm relieved to find that she actually knocks on this one, instead of leading us elsewhere.
Seriously, how big is this place?
The door is opened by a woman, well, she looks like she just turned eighteen, and if it wasn't for his general age, I'd have been proud.
As it is, I'm fairly certain James isn't doing some reverse paedophilia and fucking her, so her state of dress is probably more a reflection of who she is as a person, than anything else.
"Ah, these the guests?" The barely legal girl asks, only getting a glare in response that has her rolling her eyes as she opens the door wider, moving to the side to let us through.
Glancing around, I quickly take note of the room, categorising everything from left to right.
First wall, boring. Desk? Boring, more boring stuff and- oooh!~ Definitely evil lab with bloodstained operating table!~
That's fun.
I also notice James, who is working on something or other with his back to us, and the first thought that comes to mind is that yes, he most definitely has grown taller.
Like, three πΊπ¦π’π³π΄ worth of aging taller.
Someone's been doping.~
He's also wearing a stupidly fancy suit that makes me want a stupidly fancy suit too. It's not like I couldn't afford it after all, because even after splitting Jack's 79 million dollar bounty, I still have tens of millions laying around.
That's how I bought the house me and Riley have been staying at. But the suit would just get wrecked immediately, so what's the point?
I also just had a fun thought.
The only people that actually know that Negante and Joker are both one and the same are the original capes in his gang plus Jinx, and these two are new faces.
Do you know what that means?
It means I can fuck with them and they won't be too terrified of me to do anything about it.
With that in mind, I give Riley a glance that she immediately understands, thanks to the wonders of trauma maturing her mentally enough to understand subtlety.
She hurriedly takes a couple of steps backwards while I do the exact opposite, breaking into a sprint straight for James, though I make sure to keep my speed within human limits.
"Jokerrr!!!" I scream out, putting on a deep voice as I jump at him, both arms spread wide to tackle him.
The next moment, I feel an impact fracture my ribs and find myself hurtling towards a wall, that I hit with a dull thud.
However before I can even fall to the ground, a wave of red energy slams be back into the wall, spreading to cover my entire body except my head as it holds me there, pushing on me with a decent amount of pressure.
Following the wave of red back to it's source, I see the sexy woman glaring at me, the energy coming out of one arm, with more of it pulsing out over her shoulders, as if to make her agitation clear.
She could probably crush a normal person to death pretty easily just from pressure alone, which I don't think is her strong suit anyway, and the other woman's punch would probably have killed an unenhanced.
Neat, guess they aren't weak then.
That's nice.
It's only then that James finally turns around, letting me get a good look at him as he takes in the sights.
Dang, he looks cool.
I'm kind of jealous, but if I do get an actually good quality costume, it's just going to break anyway.
Ah well, thoughts for the future.
Instead of directly saying anything, James just lets out a chuckle and shakes his head.
"Y'know, for some reason I actually thought you might have changed a little, given, y'know," James starts, clearly referencing my time with the Nine, to which I shrug, "but it's nice to see you're the same as ever."
"What can I say? It's a gift.~" I answer, completely blasΓ© about my 'compromising' position.
"Heh, sure. You can let her go Jack, she's not an enemy, she's a friend."
Riley flinches slightly at the name Jack, but otherwise sticks to staring reverently at James as he walks to the couches in the middle of the room; while the now names Jack reluctantly lets me go, clearly not happy about it.
But one thing sticks to my mind as I plop back to the ground.
"Wasn't she a dude last time I saw you?" I ask, thinking about when I was introduced to the gang as it started, and Siegfried took the position of 'Jack.'
James doesn't hesitate to answer me as he pours himself a drink, apple juice, as well as another drink for Riley, after which he reaches under the table and pulls out a bottle of wine.
Except when he pours it I know it is not wine. It's blood. A smile works its way onto my face at the thought of him having a drink ready for me.
"I've done some restructuring. She is my head enforcer, and currently my strongest fighter, she's very versatile. That over there is my new 'Queen,' she's basically just a bodyguard. The two that had their positions are now VIII and III respectively."
I catch on to a specific part of his answer and immediately find myself curious.
"'Currently'? You say that like you expect her to be overtaken? You looking to hire someone? Maybe Cu, if he's even still hanging around?"
He laughs lightly and I can't help but notice just how much he's changed.
It's a good thing, I decide as he starts talking.
I through him into a trial by fire when I left him, and he has very much risen above it, becoming someone I am unashamed to admit is incredibly cool.
"Yeah, Queen is going to overtake her eventually. Her power gets stronger every time it purges her body of any poisons, and since she's a hapless drug addict, that means she's getting stronger every day. She's only a Brute 6 now, but that will probably be upped to a seven after about a year."
Dang, potentially limitless growth? That's a good catch.
I notice that Jack seems to be both incredibly shocked and personally offended that James is revealing what I do not doubt is their most well guarded secret.
This kind of power is a big deal after all.
But I ignore her and focus on the woman in question instead.
"Aren't you gonna deny being a hapless druggie or something?" I ask, but she just shrugs in response with a lazy smile.
"Eh, I'm a drug baby. Thanks to my mom being a meth addict, I've been a druggie literally my entire life, and I Triggered because I didn't have any drugs at the time in the first place. Now my job is basically to just stand around this guy, and occasionally beat someone up, and I get all the top of the line smack as I want for it. I'd say it's a pretty good deal."
Huh, well. Fair enough I guess.
Can't really fault the logic, though I do wonder if she's actually being paid, beyond food and drugs?
Well, she'd probably spend the money on drugs anyway, so I guess it's just cutting out the middleman.
As I go to speak, I am beaten to the punch by Jack, who seems to have hit her limit with what she can tolerate.
"Boss! Why are you telling this woman all of this! If knowledge of Queen's power gets out she will be hunted down within the month!"
The smile he gives her immediately has her shrinking back on herself, despite probably being twice his age.
"Ja~ck. What did I tell you about questioning my decisions?~" He asks, his tone reeking of danger.
Why, I'm almost proud.
With her head bowed, and her posture submissive, Jack subconsciously takes a step back as she answers, her tone rapidly having switched from boisterous to fearful.
"That I'm just the muscle and you should do the thinking. I shouldn't doubt you. I'm sorry Boss, please forgive me."
What the fuck has he been up to, to get someone like her be so submissive?
Seeing the surprise on my face, James happily answers me, turning away from the woman as if she isn't worth his attention.
"She was in a bad spot when she Triggered. I helped her out, offered her a job. But due to an.. unfortunate situation, she's already on her last strike."
Y'know, scratch being almost proud.
I am incredibly proud of how far you've come, little James.
"Neat, well, enough of that. I want you to meet someone, she's a big fan of yours and I think you'll get along great!~" I say with a smile as I place a hand on Riley's shoulder, making her freeze up slightly as his attention falls on her.
Nobody says anything for a moment, and I awkwardly cough into a fist and give Riley a nudge.
"R-right! Uhm, I'm Riley. Uh, I like chicken nuggets and advancing science. Um, nice to meet you?"
Taking the hint that I want him to play nice, James gives her a smile that has her blushing, though I do also notice the way his eye linger every now and then.
I knew she'd be attractive to similarly prepubescent people!
"Well, people tend to call me Joker, but my name is James. It's a pleasure to meet you." James' greeting is followed by a short and awkward silence, before he picks the conversation back up, "you said you like science? Which branch, if you don't mind my asking?"
Happy to have something to talk about, Riley quickly answers.
"Biology! Surgery is my specialty."
"Oh? Biology is also my field, though I work more on chemicals, I can do plenty of surgery. Would you like to see the project I'm working on right now?" James says, gesturing to the lab half of his room, and Riley rapidly nods her head.
Both of them soon head over there and start talking with increasingly long words that go in one ear and out the other.
Any more than five syllables is just too much for one word.
Soon enough, I decide to just have a nap on the couch, because I get the feeling they will be at this for a while.
=================
A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!
James is doing the equivalent of showing off his toy truck collection, except it's an agent that stops the oxygenation of blood in whoever consumes it.
Also, James is like, suuuper rich. Like, over a hundo million, probably around 140 mill right now, but by canon start he'll have more like 700 mill available to him personally
Comments
Lucy Edwards
but I don't think I'm gonna be able to fit it in sadly xD
Lucy Edwards
I have this image in my mind of James having a full deck, so a King, Queen, Jack, all the way down from X to I to Ace, and all fourteen of them being gathered together in some shady warehouse, like when Shigaraki met with Overhall for the first time in MHA, with the Hearts sitting around on the crates at various levels, and James as Joker right in the middle, all of them gathered to meet with a 'representative of the Clowns' for whatever reason, and for Lusia to walk in similar to this chap, and to just be like "Joker! I made you a lunch- wait what are all of you guys doing here?" and then they'd be all dismissive or insulting to her, and James will say something like, "Oh, we're waiting for Tear" and Lusia will be like "Ok!" and do a little spin, pause, put down her backpack, and strip in front of them all to change into her Tear outfit, zip her bag back up, toss it away and give them all a grin, "Joker! I made you a lunch!"
Scarletmenace
I canβt wait for jackβs reaction if/when she finds out itβs Lucia~
