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Chapter 60. Krozball

🕑 Added 2025-03-15 07:59:32 +0000 UTC

Comments

K

Loved reading the practice match scene. Went back for seconds.

SubtleStubble

It was the other spear. I felt it played very realistic. As the teams spear for the past however many years, she is bound to have strong opinions on what a spear should do or moves that should be used. Her personality is also stubborn. That combined with the fact that she likely feels threatened that adom will take her position on the team , and she's bound to be at least slightly antagonistic or know-it-all in their first encounter.

Aidan Scullion

Excellent chapter. When's next one? 🥺

Andrew Nichols

I like the references, there's only so many ways to twist it, but this is a great way to do that. I liked the duel part, but like, what's with this whole, the red team was hung up on rules or something? I doubt Adom knew how to conduct it the way they saw as PROPER or whatever, so they really shouldn't have been surprised about him using tactics to outmanuever them? Just seemed like an odd spot. I like the names of the positions as well, and there's only one ball. Heck of an easier way to write, not keeping track of 3-4 other variables. Ball in goal, vury simple

BenjiVoid

Same. Just confused me, and I think it could be better.

Scion

It'd be cool if he buys out a percentage of the information Network, helps out with the Smiths buying a percentage of them. And makes his money lady in charge. Better to help home field before moving on

Scion

I took it as slang

Michael Olson

Ahh qudditch, oh sorry, krozball. The staple sport of magical schools everywhere

BenjiVoid

At some point someone says he's good for a "first year". I assume that's a first year of the sport, but it's confusing as they're usually called third years. And I'd say it's first season or first try rather than first year. Unless that's supposed to be "third year"

Dylan King

Honestly this fealt very much like it could be its own complete arc (similar to Krieg Chess or the tournament arcs in stormweaver) i think this has a lot of potential, it's got all the tension of the fights but it feels like it's achievable for Adom, his friends and their competence level. Great work

Ace_the_owl

A quick note - I didn't have quite the time to properly edit this chapter as I'd have liked. I had promised the next chapter to be available in 4 hours, and thought it would be better to upload it now, before something makes me unable to do so later. I only managed to read through it twice, but I think it's ready enough for Patreon. Please feel absolutely free to point out any inconsistencies you spot! I've written 10 chapters ahead of this one and had to make a few changes along the way, so there might be things I missed about the plot here. Hope you enjoyed this one! I've been mentioning Krozball quite a bit, and it was inspired by things I used to watch as a kid like Galactic Football or Wakfu with their Gobbowl. I wanted something similar for this world. This will essentially be our "tournament arc" for the story, and I should mention it will be much more violent than what's portrayed here. This chapter wraps up all the plot threads I wanted to establish, and now we can properly start with Adom working toward completing those threads for Book 2.


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