Lee Jones
patreon
Cornershop.
🕑 Added 2021-08-20 21:39:33 +0000 UTCWent t' shop for snacks, some guy was like "I wouldn't go in there". I waited, sounds of smashing and screaming. A unhappy customer going wild at the owner. She comes out, flings a four pack of IRN BRU at the shop and it sprayed all over a baby in a pram. She goes away, I go in.
As soon as the door closes behind me I start browsing, and then there's a right racket. She's back, and screaming. Punching the shop. Actually punching it. With her firsts. A shop. The owner locks the door, I'm now trapped inside. I carried on looking for a snack.
Then I hear her, coming back harder. She's dragged a goddamn roadside litter bin to the shop and is using it to ram her way into the shop. Everyone's going mental. Some lassie in the shop trying to calm her down, opens the door to slip out and is immediately grabbed.
They start throwing punches. I still can't get out, the door is locked again. I looked outside the window to try and see Robyn as she's waiting in the street for me with the dogs. I didn't know how long I was going to be in there. All I can see is IRN BRU spray.
A van speedily pulls up, a guy jumps out and manages to get into the shop. He runs the shop with his wife. The woman is now screaming "he touched my fanny!". Her friend takes her to one side to quieten her up for a little. Everyone just looks at each other like "whaaaat".
By this point I can't even focus on getting a snack, and most of the shop is on the floor anyway. I looked at the floor and picked up a couple of Orange Yorkies and a Whispa Gold and went to pay for them.
The woman comes back screaming "he touched my fanny!", and the guy behind the counter looks mortified and says to me, panicked, "I didn't!".
"I know you didn't." I said, and paid and left.
