A Joke
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One Piece: Desperate
🕑 Added 2021-10-01 08:13:45 +0000 UTCChapter 118:
***
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WHOLECAKE MASSACRE:
Admiral Higumo, also known as Bear D. Max has single-handedly ended the Big Mom Pirates’ tyranny in the new world.
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The paper continued listing off more and more about Max’s accomplishments. Akainu sat on his desk and looked at the newspaper with a frown, but a small smile at the same time. The Five Elders didn’t like this at all, but they couldn’t do anything about it now.
Even Akainu was a little surprised by Max’s moves and how he had pulled it off. Because even though he had killed off so many people. No one said anything of how he did it and Big News Morgan was the only survivor of the incident and he had kept his mouth shut about it.
Suddenly the door opened, Sengoku came in with a copy of the newspaper and a huge smile on his face. He just went and laid down on the office couch.
‘He has been doing this every time a big incident happens.’ - contemplated Akainu. He knew that the old man now would just sit there and chuckle to himself every time the new Fleet Admiral got angry or annoyed at something.
“Ahh~ it’s so good that these things are no longer my problem.” Sengoku stretched and yawned, before closing his eyes and going to sleep.
Akainu wanted to kick the man out, but in the end, he just sighed and didn’t do so since the marines that still respected the ex-Fleet Admiral would be in a riot if he treated the old man ‘unfairly’.
This job had come with a lot more politics involved than he had thought. So every one of his moves had to be calculated and thought about.
“I heard that some brat from the Worst Generation brought a crate full of 100 still beating pirate hearts. How did that go?” *pfft* Sengoku couldn’t hold the chuckle back at the end.
Akainu didn’t answer the question, because the old man already knew what had happened and just wanted to stir the pot because he was bored training new Marine Recruits.
***
-Max POV-
I was in my ship with Negan to my right and a clown-nosed pirate stood in front of us. Skinny Joey had captured him while he was in one of the casual arrests.
“Bear D. Max! You are a great Admiral, there must have been some mistake. I am not a pirate at all! I hate pirates with a passion and even my family was killed by pirates.” Buggy tried to make some excuses for himself and I just let him go on.
“We found you in captain’s clothing and you even have a bounty on your head. What’s there to look more into?” Negan questioned the clown.
“There is a lot to look at!” he said, pointing at his red nose. “See? This is all-natural? Also, I run a successful circus. I would never be a pirate!”
“Really?” I asked amusingly. “Then how does a circus function and what is the rate at which you pay your freaks? What about the jugglers? Do you have a safety contract about the stunts? These are some basic circus stuff that you should know.”
Talking money with him made Buggy confused and it made me seem like I knew what I was talking about. But I didn’t know about it at all and just talked about basic things like employees’ wages, but made it sound like it was complicated.
Making simple jobs sound super hard to others was something easy to do. I could see that Buggy was confused, and he thought I would catch him in the lie if he said anything that didn’t line up with what I ‘knew’.
“Uhhh...I…” He didn’t know what to say anymore and was scared. By now everyone knew how we treated Pirates ever since Impel Down was destroyed. Buggy went down on his knees and begged. “Please let me live!! I promise to do anything you say!”
“Anything?” I asked. Now there were quite a lot of things that came to mind. Yeah, Buggy could be quite useful. Especially since I needed a pirate to do this job.
“Yes…” he looked fearfully, wondering if he was doing the right thing and the malicious smile didn’t make him feel any better.
“We are gonna make a Warlord out of you,” I told him and his face paled in fear.
“Boss-man, you are making that evil smile again,” Negan whispered.
“Shut up, I am having my moment here,” I told him jokingly. We always messed around like this in these situations.
“No boss, it’s scaring me too.” He showed me his arm which had chills. But I could see his lips twitching, trying to hold back a laugh and how he would look at Buggy. Negan was doing all of this because… he thought it was funny seeing Buggy squirm.
***
-Caesar Clown POV-
I looked at my newest patient, a man who looked like a bird but talked like a human. He had come here and told me to find the cure for the poison in his body. I had better things to do, but the bastard bird-man paid me a lot.
He laid down on a medical table in one of my small labs, since we were on Punk Hazard, a lot of money was required to keep this facility running. Doflamingo and Big Mom, my two biggest investors, were dead, so I needed a new kind of income.
Maybe I should start selling weapons to the World Government? Joker was the middleman in these deals, so I never directly traded with them. But I needed the money, I was just on the brink of a breakthrough.
“So, did you find anything? What kind of poison is it?” asked Morgan anxiously.
“Wait a bit,” though I told him to wait. I had no idea what kind of poison it was. No matter how many tests I did on him, nothing would come up as even remotely positive. Even if it was some kind of newly made poison, I would have been able to notice it.
This was embarrassing, but I won’t admit my failure to the person who gossips the most in the world, or as he liked to be called, a newsman. Yeah, right, I knew just how many of his stories were fake.
**
Two hours passed and I still couldn’t find even a trace of poison on him. The Wholecake Massacre had happened around a week ago, yet there was no trace of poison on my patient. Who even made this? Vinsmoke Judge’s daughter? No way she was better than me!!
Morgan stared at me like the stupid bird he was. “Did you-”
“No! Morgan! I haven’t found anything!!” I yelled at him. “Now can you shut the hell up and let me do my job?!”
He had come here to try and find an antidote to the poison Admiral Max had fed him. It was the kind of poison that would kill after a month or two if the antidote wasn’t taken regularly. So it was something hard to detect and Max was confident that it wouldn't be found.
After all, any intelligent man would predict that Morgan wouldn’t just stay still and take being used like this. Max was smart, even his enemies would have no choice but to admit it. So him letting Morgan go like this was what made him confident that the bird-man wouldn’t be able to find someone that will figure out the antidote.
He probably knew Morgan would come to someone like me too!! Yet he still thought that I wouldn’t be able to figure it out!!
I will show him my genius!!!
***
A/N: Well, Caesar Clown is a little mad. Also, can anyone guess what Max’s scheme is here? He has done something that an arrogant and proud genius like Caesar will likely not be able to figure out.
