A Joke
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One Piece: Desperate
🕑 Added 2021-08-25 15:46:12 +0000 UTCChapter 88: Negan’s Promotion...
***
It took me less than a week to reach Marineford, and when I did, Negan was summoned to go and get his promotion. He will become a Vice Admiral.
Well, that will be entertaining to see how it goes.
With Raynare next to me I went to meet up with some of the other Vice Admirals, we had to discuss some strategies with how we will fight against Whitebeard and his allies.
***
-Negan POV-
“Who the hell braids their chin beard?” Those were my first thoughts when I met the Fleet Admiral. Accidentally I also said those thoughts out loud.
I couldn’t help myself, this might not have been the best idea as I was still injured and my ribs were barely held together.
“Pffft,” *cough* *cough* Garp who was sitting down on the couch chuckled and choked on his cookies. He banged his chest to clear his windpipe and continued laughing. “Bahahahaha!”
Sengoku narrowed his eyes and his teeth made a grinding noise. “You should be careful how you talk to your superiors. Is this how you treat Max?”
“Max?” I inquired. “He appreciates it when I say it how it is, and no I don’t treat him like this because he doesn't braid his chin beard. You have to be either insane or a pervert to do that.”
*crack*
Sengoku’s table cracked as he exerted force in it due to anger. “Your friend had a similar disposition during the meeting when he had his promotion. Has he told you how it ended?”
I shrugged, “Dunno, he probably did, don’t remember it though. I am a fighter, not a scholar, I don’t bother remembering most things.”
“Well for some backstory,” Garp stopped eating crackers and explained the meeting. “Max wanted to get out of the boring meeting and picked a fight with me. He tasted one of my punches and then stayed mid-air the rest of the fight.”
“You gotta admit, he is pretty good at mid-air fights, right?” I asked the pro here. Garp was a legend in the fighting world, and even with my fast speed, mid-air Max still could compete with me.
Though for some reason the question seemed to annoy the old man. “Yeah, and that’s the thing, and after that punch. Who I admit, I might have tried to knock his head off his body, but him staying mid-air was cowardly.”
Yeah, no sane guy would get in a punching contest, old man. Your name is literally ‘Garp of the Fist’... obviously, Max had to go mid-air, at the time I doubt he could handle two punches, and you just admitted to wanting to knock his head off.
“So you are just salty because you were stupid to fight him mid-air, that would be about the same amount of stupidity as fighting you in a punching competition,” damn me and my mouth. I was injured, I knew taking that relaxing medicine because it gave a high feeling wasn’t a good idea.
Garp got up, put his crackers on the couch, and cracked his neck. “Time to teach a brat some respect.”
“Hey, hey, hey, now old man, it is the medicine talking. It had some weird plants on it that make you feel good so that is probably messing with my brain.” I tried to defuse the situation, but Garp didn’t seem to care. “I am actually super injured due to Big Mom and I might die from one of your punches.”
“To me, it sounds like something is wrong with your head and you need some fixing,” Garp blew on his fist. “Don’t worry I won’t use Haki.”
Welp, as Max once said ‘You won’t die because of a strong opponent, because of your stupidity'. Like with everything else he was right.
No use worrying about it now. When death comes knocking, slam the door open hard enough to bash him in the face. “Well, Grap -san, I always thought you were kinda lame. Even as a kid, I mean what’s your special power? Oh wait, you have a super-strong punch? That’s like the lamest superpower ever to be known for.”
The life of a coward wasn’t the life of a winner, so I had to say it. As a great man once said… Well, he said something cool but I can’t remember.
FWOOSH!
Suddenly the air around me disappeared and everything turned dark and only Garp’s fist coming toward me was visible.
I am going to die!
Death was written clearly in that fist and as it came toward me, I knew dodging that was impossible. Even if I turned into lightning and tried to right now, it wouldn’t be fast enough.
BOOOOOOOOOM!!
Unlike the expected death, I saw Max’s back as he clashed with Garp. Was this a dream? Though it seemed like their hits didn’t crash. Didn’t this happen when he and Big Mom clashed?
“You crazy old man, can’t you stop punching people?!” asked Max bewildered. Making me realize that this wasn't a dream and I wasn't already dead. “Also Negan, what the hell?! You haven’t been here for even two minutes and you started a fight with one of the strongest guys here!”
“It’s that medicine man, what was it called? The one that relaxes you, it’s bad.”
“Yeah, I know the medicine you take, it just eases pain, idiot. No matter how much you consume it won’t make you stupid.”
“If you knew just how much I consumed-”
“Then you were stupid to begin with.”
“Well…” I didn’t know what to say and just said the first thing that came to mind. “I never said I wasn’t stupid.”
“Bahahahaha!!” Garp’s laugh suddenly rang out, surprising me. He was amused by our banter. “Max, you have a good subordinate.”
Huh? Was he complimenting me? Does this old man have memory problems? I just insulted him not even a full minute ago.
Max and Garp looked at each other and seemed to have a silent conversation and the old man nodded slightly, if I wasn’t so close I wouldn’t have noticed it.
Now I kinda feel jealous, me and Max, as best bros we don’t have a silent language. But he had that with this old man?
“He does look like he is thinking something stupid,” muttered Garp while looking at me.
“I think you are all forgetting where you are.” Sengoku’s voice cut through the mood like a sharp scalpel. His demeanor was cold like ice. “This is the second time you have destroyed my office.”
Yeah, he was right on that one, there were cracks on the walls, the chairs and couches had been destroyed too. The clash between Max and Garp had caused quite the damage. Wouldn’t be surprised if they had to even repair the foundation of the building due to how much it shook.
“Also, Negan won’t be anyone's subordinate, he and Max have the same rank as a Vice Admiral. With his Devil Fruit, he also has the potential to achieve the Rank of Admiral as long as he trains hard.” The Fleet Admiral said, and I think he just meant something by those words.
Something that I am too dumb to understand. But it’s still pissing me off for some reason.
“No thank you,” I answered truthfully. “I will be going on with Max, will that be a problem? Because if it is then I don’t care for the Vice Admiral promotion so… you know…”
Max looked at me with pride and Sengoku had an unreadable expression. Huh? Did I say something bad? I don’t think I did.
“No, you will get the Vice Admiral rank even though unofficially you will be under Max’s command.” The Fleet Admiral sighed after saying that.
Max put his arm around my shoulder and chuckled. We turned around and walked out, with the boss-man waving his other hand. “See you all at the war.”
“I am coming along,” said Garp as he casually picked up the broken cough and took the bag of crackers under it.
After walking out of the office, neither of us said anything. I don’t know why, I just followed along. Also, Garp kinda scared me now, I didn’t wanna agitate the old man again.
“Thanks for taking care of him, old man,” said Max suddenly. He seemed to be genuine in this as he looked at Garp.
“Don’t worry about it,” Garp dismissed his thanks. “You can buy me some crackers.”
“Okay,” Max agreed and looked at his hand which shook. “By the way, couldn’t you have gone a little easier? You almost broke my arm there.”
“Hmmm… that sounds more like your problem than mine,” the old marine said nonchalantly. But the smug look on his face said a different story.
“Are you still salty about that time we fought?”
“What? No, that was just you being a coward so I don’t count it as a fight.”
“Yeah right, just admit that you have gotten old and get on with it. What are you? Like 80?”
“I am seventy-six, brat. If you were my age, I could beat you all day long with one hand behind my back.”
“Yeah, that’s IF I was your age… which I am not.”
Baaam!
Suddenly Max was punched at the side of his head and smashed into a wall. “What the hell old man?!” When he got up, Max was bleeding from his head, which was surprising since he was durable as hell.
“Sorry, my hand slipped. You know… because I am old and all that…” Garp had a shit-eating grin on his face. “What, gonna hit an old man?”
You know… I am not sure if these two have a good relationship or a terrible one.
….
