A Joke
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One Piece: Desperate
🕑 Added 2021-08-24 13:54:43 +0000 UTCChapter 86: Let’s Die a Little…
***
As my body started plummeting towards the water, just before I touched the salty liquid, someone grabbed and looked at her purple eyes. I didn’t have the strength to even talk as darkness surrounded me, but knew that Raynare would know what to do now hopefully.
"Have I ever told you how amazing you are?" The words came out of my mouth before I even knew what I was saying.
"It wouldn't hurt to mention it more,"
"Damn… I love you…" having people to lean on sometimes wasn't so bad.
***
-Raynare POV-
Hearing his words made my heart skip a beat, I don't even remember him ever saying those words before. So that made them even more valuable, but I decided to ignore them and think about it later.
Seeing Max’s weak form as he entered unconsciousness, I understood that he had pushed himself too far, he had injuries all over his body. Damn, this is bad, but not something that I should panic about, my mind needed to concentrate on a solution.
“Negan!” I called the dumbass back, “We are getting out of here!”
He saw Max’s unconscious form and nodded, normally Negan would complain, whine, and try to refuse my orders. But when it came to Max, he was like a dog who needed his master.
*BZZZZZZZT*
Suddenly I heard the loud crackling sound of electricity and saw that it was coming from Big Mom’s cloud where she stood.
“Zeus, again!!” yelled out the giant ball of flame, Prometheus.
"B -But what if-" Zeus was nervous about this.
"Her heart has stopped dumbass! She will die at this rate! So do it again!" Prometheus yelled out in panic.
*bzzzzzt*
Another electric shock rang out and a cold chill ran down my spine as a bloody Big Mom rose to her feet.
“Negan!!” I yelled out again and threw Max at him. “I am staying back, take Max to the ship and sail off, you are faster and can take him there.”
But Max’s body was carefully thrown back as he looked at me mockingly. “Stop acting like you can hold back someone like Big Mom for even a second. Don’t go sacrificing your life uselessly, Max would tell you to think clearly at a time like this. I will hold them back.”
I agreed and didn’t waste any more time, putting Max on my arms and flying off at my top speeds. He was right, my power wasn't good or versatile to hold them back for long.
“Like I will let you!” Perospero’s voice rang out and a giant candy wall came out of the sea and was erected in front of me. “All of you will be dying here today!”
Suddenly Reiju came out of the sky and kicked the candy wall.
*Crack!*
Her powerful kick with the help of her Raid Suit destroyed the candy wall. My body instinctively clenched and got ready for a fight as this would be the perfect time for her to try and kill Max.
“Go on,” unexpectedly she just pointed towards where our ship was. “I will stop anyone from coming after you.”
She never had shown any affection for Max, or even that she liked him. At most Reiju always had a smirk on her face. I wasn’t able to tell what he was thinking. So having her do this was surprising.
Staying behind was a clear death sentence, neither she nor Negan would be able to hold back Big Mom for long.
“Thank you,” I gave her my thanks, this meant a lot to me. If she by some miracle survived I would be in her debt.
Flying past her, I wondered what she was thinking. Even now, Reiju only had a smirk on her face that showed nothing about her. "Don't worry little crow, I won't die. Max still owes me something."
***
-Negan POV-
“Sheesh, you are one scary old hag,” I said while looking at the terrifying figure of Big mom as she stopped up. Her eyes were crimson red and she looked like a demonic hag.
“I don’t have time to deal with you,” she said as she floated at me by riding on her cloud. “Death or Life?”
I knew about this ability, it was the one where if she used it against you, even the slightest trace of fear would allow her to drain my lifespan. This was the reason Raynare wouldn’t be able to hold her back even a second. While the crow girl liked to act all tough, she will never be someone who can play in this field.
“Kekeke,” I cackled seeing Big Mom’s confused look as her ability didn’t work on me. “Sadly, I am the kind of psycho who isn’t afraid of something lame like death, you dìck-faced old hag.”
Her nose and cheekbones made her face seem like it had a badly drawn dìck on it.
“Like captain, like subordinate,” complained Big Mom as she picked her giant sword and got ready to swing it.
I got ready to dodge but stopped, as suddenly she stopped mid-swing and dropped to her knees. "Ugh!" Big Mom moaned in pain and she clutched at her heart.
“Mama!” Yelled out Prometheus in worry. “Your heart is still in bad condition, so please don’t exert yourself too much.”
*whistle* “Damn, seems like Boss-man put you through the wringer,” I couldn’t help myself and commented.
*Bzzzzt*
In an instant I was above her, my hand crackling with electricity. A pillar of flame shot at me, creating a wall around Big Mom.
“Someone like you can’t even touch Mama!” Prometheus said arrogantly.
I only smirked at him and put my hand through the flames, though it burned my skin as Haki was infused with the flames. This didn't hurt that much, today was the day I died, worrying about injuries would be silly.
*Bzzzzzt*
Big Mom’s body shook as 300 million volts traveled and I aimed for her heart. Boss-Max seemed to have injured her heart and probably even stopped it for some time.
Now, I wasn’t a doctor but this sure as hell would make her heart a weak point, unlike Max I didn’t know the critical points of a body, so I just go along with what he does. He knew what he was doing when he hit her heart.
Big Mom breathed heavily and had shortness of breath. Now, this was something I knew about, my grandma had a heart attack after this happened, meaning that... if I just increase the voltage.
Baaam!
Suddenly, a knee landed on my face, making my body push back, while the knee still dug into my face.
I looked up and saw Katakuri with a panicked look on his face and blood gushing out of his head from the injury Max had initially inflicted on him.
“Katakuri, I heard that you were terrifyingly strong," murdering those words I gathered electricity in my body. In comparison to Max's hits… "These are nothing!”
I grabbed his foot and my body turned into electricity, the shock traveled through his body, knocking him out.
“What made you so panicked?” my smirk got wilder when I asked him that. “Tell me, you saw something that if I use my power on Big Mom… hehehehe~”
Katakuri’s reaction gave me a hint and he did all of this just so he could stop the attack. His reaction was enough to show that if Big Mom got another hit in by me, then this will be over.
Sorry Max, but I am gonna kill-steal here.
I sensed an attack from behind me and saw that one of Big Mom’s kids was ready to get involved.
Oven jumped at me. “Die!” he yelled while
punching me in the face.
Baam!
I let the hit land, but the shocked look on his face when his heat did nothing against me was delightful.
“Dumbass, lightning can become hotter than your cookie baking heat,” those were the last words he heard as electricity traveled through him, knocking out the man.
As he dropped, my jaw got stuck and dislocated. While the heat hadn't done any damage, the punch did hurt a bit.
*crack*
I put that baby in place and looked at Big Mom. Those couple of seconds her kids bought her had been enough for her to recover.
I was resolved to die today, so with that in mind, none of these guys were any longer a challenge. Why? Because none of them wanted to die, no one would let a hit land on them without knowing how strong the attack would be at first. But I don’t care about that and will use the chance to become a human stun gun.
“C’mon you, bastards!” I yelled out, yet none of them approached me.
Big Mom was charging at me and didn’t think I would survive. Well, that is where they are wrong…
I am not gonna die until I take down at least half of the Big Mom Pirates!
My golden bat morphed into two golden spears, and I threw them at the unconscious Katakuri and Oven. But my attack didn’t land as a pillar of the fire melted the gold midway. I looked at Prometheus with an annoyed look on my face. “You are my least favorite guy here. Trust me, there are a lot of people here I don’t like, but you are at the top.”
My body started turning into electricity to dodge Big Mom's attack when suddenly Zeus took a deep breath and I started getting dragged toward him.
Shìt, this is bad!
I turned back into my human form, stopping myself from getting closer to danger. This was a bad matchup, like a Lava Devil Fruit user fighting against the Fire Devil Fruit user.
Big Mom's cloud could eat and suck in lightning. So for any of my attacks to hit Big Mom, I needed to have skin contact with her.
But now it was too late as I saw a huge fist covered in Haki coming at me I tried blocking by crossing my arms.
Baam!
*CRACK!*
My arms broke, my rib cage caved in, I felt a lot of my ribs pierce my lungs. Blood rushed in them and gave me a strange feeling like I was drowning. What a painful way to die, wish she had tried decapitation.
I noticed that she didn’t pick Napoleon and tried the movements which wouldn’t stress her heart too hard.
Heh, I wanted to try and do one more attack on Big Mom before death. But I have to make sure to die underwater so these guys don’t get my fruit and have the Lightning-Lightning Fruit reincarnate in some strange fruits under the sea where it won’t be found.
Damn, when the hell did I start planning things so much? Max has a lot to answer for, my whole thing is supposed to be low brain capacity and only know how to smash heads. That was my job and I loved it.
Will Max be sad when I die? Will he cry for me? Nah, crying is for bitches, he won’t do that.
Wish I had been there for the rest of the journey, welp, this is the end for me.
One last thought went to my head as I felt life pass me by…
When do blind people know when to stop wiping?
____
A/N: Negan doesn't mind dying and isn't really afraid of death. To him everyone will one day die, and he would hate to die an old man.
P.S: I thought really hard about what Negan would be thinking in a a scenario where this was his last moment in life. Didn't come up with anything good, and that was when I was enlightened... its Negan bro, he isn't gonna be having some profound thought.
