spacepaladin15
patreon
The Nature of Predators - Something About Blue (3/4)
🕑 Added 2023-09-09 11:01:00 +0000 UTCMemory transcription subject: Rivlia, Gojid Exterminator
Date [standardized human time]: March 5, 2137
The last few days had been a slump of depression, where I’d been going through the motions at the office. Denna noticed that I was quiet and that I’d stopped talking about Blue, but the void that had opened up inside me was eating me alive. Several of my other colleagues noticed my aloof, down-in-the-dumps demeanor too; it was a miracle I’d dragged myself out of bed. Without our conversations occupying my spare time, I felt hollow and empty. I couldn’t understand how it had all been the phony machinations of a flesh-eating beast, even after seeing the proof with my own eyes.
The terrible face of the human still haunted my dreams, and I could picture that growling voice speaking the sweet words that had captivated my imagination. Looking back, it was fortunate we’d never met up; Blue had long-term plans to take me off the radar, and eat me where my remains would never be traced. Despite knowing that I was encouraging Giannis to seek out new, unsuspecting prey by ignoring him, I couldn’t muster up the willpower to answer his communications. The predator had sent me numerous messages since the fateful encounter in the park, some of which were long-winded walls of text; it was an excellent imitation of emotion, designed to elicit pity. I don’t know why I read each of them, when I didn’t plan to answer.
[*Curated numerical values for frame of reference]
Time: [*One hour, thirty-six minutes from the incident] Rivi, I’ve had a horrible day. I need to talk to you, I feel like I’m losing my mind. I don’t mean to stress you out, but I need you to be here. Please answer, for the sake of all that’s good in the universe. I can’t stop thinking, can’t stop playing it all over in my head…can’t stop wondering what I’ve done and why it happened to me. You seem to be the only one who sees me for who I am. Tell me you still see me.
Time: [*Three hours, two minutes after] I’m sure you’re busy with a perfectly legitimate thing, so I’m sorry if I’m spamming or burying you or whatever, but I need to get it off my chest. I’m going to burst if I don’t. I have no one else to talk to, and I’m honestly scared to even leave my apartment. There’s something very important you don’t know about me, but let’s just say people treat me like I’m literal dirt because of an inherent quality I have. It’s tough to comprehend why someone…just hates you, when you don’t hate them.
I don’t hate anyone. That’s what I thought anyway, but I’m angry. I’m scared. I’m losing my damn mind and I feel like I need to run far, far away from here. Maybe you can tell me if I should stay. If I should go. Any sort of guidance, being listened to and empathized with, heavens, anything would make me feel better.
Shit, I’m ranting. If I weren’t completely wrecked and panicked, I’d backspace this whole message and not worry you. I’m sorry. I’ll try to stay off this channel, and wait ‘til you’re available like a good friend.
That second message had almost been enough to encourage me to break my silence; if the predator wanted encouragement to leave this colony, I should prompt it to ship out. That was one monstrous burden we didn’t have trampling around Bithen Orchard, and prowling our digital space as well. It was darkly impressive how well a human could navigate online venues, passing as a normal sapient. However, my better judgment kicked in as I contemplated a reply. Giannis was floating the idea of leaving the planet as a way of manipulation, a dramatic statement to get me to answer with haste. It needed help plotting its next move; it was scared of receiving judgment from us for its cursed, brutal way of life.
Time: [*Five hours, seven minutes after]: You’ll read this eventually. You should know why I’m like this, because I know it’s not my normal. Maybe I’m scaring you, and shit, I’m sorry if I am. That’s not what I want. Gist of it is, I almost died while I was at the park today. I’ve been sick to my stomach ever since, and the way I felt in that moment, when I thought it was about to be my last, dying in one of the most painful ways possible… I noted to myself, as I was reading this message, that the filthy human finally understood how prey felt as its fingers coiled around their necks, squeezing the life from their windpipes. I realized that there’s so much I haven’t done yet. All I can do is think, and think, and think.
It puts it all in perspective, doesn’t it? I don’t think I’ll ever forget this, or feel safe walking around here again. But when I was seconds away from my painful demise, I regretted that I’d pulled away from you.
The truth is, I didn’t want to meet up because I was scared of rejection. I’m a sensitive person, and like I’ve told you, a lot of people have hurt me lately. There was only so much I could take, so I closed myself off to avoid being wounded. I wanted it not to matter what I am. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t, but I’m ready to tell you everything. You see me for my true self, and I’m desperate to believe you still will. Life is so damn short; it can be taken away in an instant. Oh, Rivi, there’s so much needless suffering out there. It hurts my heart.
Well, my wall of text is already at liftoff, so I might as well just keep going—let it all out. I learned some disturbing things about the Great Protector. You know, I’d never wish for any living thing’s suffering, because it’s all interconnected. The way you talked about nature, that was the impression I got from you. Loving the beauty. Loving our place in that beauty. You wouldn’t justify cleansing living things like a plague, would you?
Life is a miracle. Each of us, the fact that our thoughts form patterns that let us etch these characters that convey complex meaning; it’s the biggest series of coincidences in the universe, and that it’s happened so many times…we’re all the product of random chance. It’s a gift that we exist at all to observe the wonders and the scale of the great unknown. I hope I haven’t distorted what you believe into something that’s what I believe. I hope you wouldn’t rejoice in the suffering of any living being.
Everywhere I go in Bithen Orchard, I am unwanted and unloved. It doesn’t matter what I do, how hard I try, or how few waves I make. In spite of all of this, the thought of your beliefs aligning with a sadistic, cookie-cutter category makes me want to pull my hair out. It haunts me just as much as the realization that I can be threatened and badgered, any place, any time, without cause or due process. Tell me that you care only for the splendor of the cosmos…and tell me it's all going to be okay. Please, Rivi.
Giannis had never slapped that many words together; if I didn’t know it was a soulless monstrosity, I would’ve thought it was having a mental breakdown. It would’ve been easier to gloss over its jumbled mess of thoughts, but something compelled me to try to understand its angle. Perhaps the human was traumatized, in the sense that even a non-sapient predator would shrivel away from something it knew would hurt it. That was the entire reason for the Protector’s gift of our bristles, after all. Blue must find it disconcerting that agents like me were dedicated to keeping it off our turf, rather than allowing it to roam on the hunt freely.
The sudden talk about leaving and wanting to meet up could mean that Giannis had escalated its timeframe to spring its trap, and could be planning to flee after it scored its meticulous kill. This was encouraging, if the beast felt some semblance of the terror prey lived with daily. Maybe I should accept its invite, and get the exterminators’ guild to spring a trap on it? They could finish what my sentimental weakness had prevented me from doing. However, the idea of facing Blue in person again sapped me of all energy; any mirth had been sucked from my bloodstream by harsh reality.
Time: [*Fourteen hours, fifty-nine minutes after] Just woke up. I barely slept. Had a horrid nightmare that I was burning alive and I couldn’t move. I don’t think I’m going to work.
Time: [*Twenty-two hours, five minutes after] I’m in crisis. I see you going on and offline, Rivi. You’ve never taken this long to answer before, and I would worry if you’re okay, if I didn’t see the blue dot. Blue for online. It’s my favorite color you know; ocean, sky on certain worlds, some of the most beautiful birds—I guess like the Krakotl. Their feathers are a lovely color, even if their hearts aren’t so lovely. Fuck, I want to talk to you. I know I’m being needy, but…you’re the only kind person in my life.
It's a beautiful universe, one I’d love to explore, but I feel like the gates are shut in my face. Tell me I’m not alone, unless that’s exactly what I am.
Time: [*One day, five hours, eleven minutes after] Going to bed. Another night of tossing and turning I’m sure. I miss you. I hope your life is going better than mine. I hope you’re happy, wherever you are.
Time: [*One day, fourteen hours, twenty-four minutes after] Now is the worst possible time for you to ghost me. Is that what you’re doing? I wish I knew why. What did I do?
Time: [*Two days, three minutes after] Hello????
Time: [*Two days, five hours, forty-eight minutes after] I shouldn’t have unloaded on you. I would’ve rather not lost what we had, or at least said goodbye on good terms. These chats mean something to me…sunshine.
That particular message stabbed at my heart, more than any of the predator’s other flurry of messages. Why was it so good at mimicking connections? Part of me felt sorry for a creature that’d call spurting blood a fountain, and that looked like it was birthed straight from a canyon of skeletons with sickly skin stretched over it. Humans existed for the purpose of killing, and their entire evolution, including this social understanding, was tailored to that. It was a mercy that Giannis had almost given up the pursuit of its prey, because my emotions were weak. It had sent only one message, in the past day.
Time: [*Two days, twenty hours, twenty-seven minutes after] Okay. I get the message. I won’t bother you anymore. Thanks for being there for me all those other times, Rivi. Take care of yourself.
When the messages from Blue stopped coming, that was when my life felt truly empty. There was the distinctive feeling that something important was missing, compounded by a gnawing sense of loss. The world was neither bright nor entertaining without the predator’s commentary. I resented it even more for how I couldn’t function without it to talk to; perhaps its goal had been to make me dependent on it. Given that I spared its life after seeing its hideous face, there was no question it’d succeeded in making me care about it. The gravity of that realization made me ashamed of myself, so I tried harder to crush all of those feelings. The emptiness expanded its hold.
I miss the person I thought I knew so much. I wanted to spend my life with that thing…I was obsessed with it! It’s so hard to just turn those feelings off, even though I know it’s a bloodthirsty heathen now.
Denna waved her claws in front of my face. “Cheer up, Rivi! You can’t stay in this predator-induced trance forever. What’s Blue got to say?”
“We haven’t been talking,” I mumbled.
“I assume it didn’t work out. Oh, I’m sorry. Some people aren’t ready for commitment, and feelings are a funny thing. You’ll find another guy.”
“Yeah. You’re right.”
“You've got to pay some attention to your workspace though. Why are you keeping that predator’s card out on your desk? It’s not even sealed. You’re getting contaminants all over the surface!”
My gaze flitted over to Giannis’ ID, and I intercepted her paw as she went to grab it. “Leave it. It’s fine.”
“Okay. Should I steer clear of you, since you’re this grumpy?”
“Denna, I could care less what you or anyone else does. I’m miserable. I invested all my hopes in Blue, but it was never going to work. It was all in my head, and I can’t bear to talk about it, so please, stop asking—”
The door to the front office chimed, and that attracted my attention for a moment. The Bithen Orchard branch got very few walk-ins, since most of the populace had left and the remaining people preferred the portal for reports. My heart stopped in my chest, as I recognized the curly-black hair atop a predator’s head. Its mane looked much less greasy this time, and a visor over its insufferable eyes lessened the sensory assault of its appearance. If Giannis was allegedly terrified of exterminators, why would it wander into our workplace? Did it have a deathwish, or feel compelled to reassert its dominance in the natural hierarchy?
Denna chewed at her claws. “That thing. You’re the one who let it go, Rivi. You deal with it. It could want revenge on you; I’ll get my flamethrower and be ready to strike on your command.”
I stifled a groan, feeling nauseous at the thought of interacting with the beast. “Fine. I’ll chase it off.”
Giannis was filming on its holopad, and its posture did seem a little nervous. The color drained from its cheeks when I approached, making it look even creepier than before. It drew a shaky breath, and the binocular eyes hiding behind that metal strip seemed to be pointed at the floor. The predator wasn’t giving off the appearance of looking for a fight, though it was obvious to me now that humans could be quite deceitful about their intentions. Behind its veneer of fear, it emitted some sadness, with its shoulders slumped and its sluggish movements.
An act to appeal to prey sympathies. Focus.
“What are you doing here? I told you to go far away from here,” I hissed.
A knot passed down Giannis’ throat as it swallowed. “I am. B-by the way, I’m livestreaming this, so if you do anything to me, you’ll be going to jail. I am a person with rights, whether you think so or not.”
“What is it you want?” I repeated flatly, as my spines bristled.
“I’m leaving this colony. That’ll make you happy, I’m sure, but I need my ID to get off this rock. The tracking chip places it here, so I know you still have it. Please give it to me, and you’ll never have to see me again. One less human.”
I considered its offer, shifting my gaze toward the camera pointed at my face. Minister Kiri, a human sympathizer, would side with this creature if I refused its request. It was smart to know we couldn’t burn it without provocation, not if we wanted to keep our freedom and careers. Regardless, it had been my intention to encourage Blue to remove itself from my planet, when it was messaging me about leaving; this was excellent news. It’d come to that conclusion on its own, without any encouragement from me. I flicked my claws at Denna, and she scurried off to retrieve the card.
My partner passed the plastic to me. “Here, Rivi. Take it.”
I stiffened with alarm, realizing that the predator had overheard a name it knew. My claws snatched the card, all but shoving it into the beast’s free, spindly hand. Giannis froze, with its maw falling open; it was unresponsive for several seconds. The human struggled to find its voice, with its lips moving without sound. Its mouth curved downward, and its eyebrows slanted down just above its visor. Was it my imagination, or did it look deeply hurt? It wasn’t possible for a predator to care what prey thought of it. This had to be acting, just like everything else Blue had done.
Now, it knows who you are. It could out you to the whole office, or fly off the handle in a rage.
“Rivi?” The Terran’s voice quavered when it finally spoke, as it sniffled several times. A tear rolled down its face, and it slapped a hand over its agape maw in an attempt to hold itself together. “I…now I see why you didn’t answer.”
Denna wrinkled her nose in confusion, as the predator whipped around. Giannis stormed out of our office, the still-recording camera on its holopad lowering. There was no doubt that the human’s posture was utterly defeated, without a trace of the confidence it’d had strutting about at the park. Perhaps its pouting was mere disappointment that it lost a meal, but I felt a pang of guilt that it knew who I was. It hadn’t confronted me or said anything antagonistic. Whatever its reasons were, it had cared enough for its awful features to show visible distress.
There was still some treasonous part of me that didn’t want Blue to be upset on my behalf. To make matters worse, I now had an extermination partner who might’ve put the pieces together about who that ghastly creature was. It was tough to imagine how I could feel any more miserable than this, but with Giannis packing up its bags, at least this devastating series of events was over. With time, I could squash every treasonous feeling that had wormed its way into my heart.
A/N - The penultimate part! Blue expresses to Rivi online how shaken up he is, and how he needs to speak with her; however, he eventually catches on that she isn't answering. Our exterminator is miserable after cutting ties with the human, but is forced to interact with him one last time when Giannis walks into her workplace to fetch his ID. How do you think Giannis is feeling, now that he's connected the dots between his friend and the cruel exterminator? What will Denna have to say, if she's realized Blue's identity?
As always, thank you for reading and supporting!
Comments
Yannis Morris
Man… Giannis must be severely out of the loop if he didn’t know that stuff about The Great Protector Religion. Even without the Archive Data. I mean, dude. Them being the first species to try murdering your total population did not come out of nowhere
Nul Atlas
One more page, that means Rivi is gonna hear the Halo Announcer say a big ol' "Suicide "
Reptani
I need more :( This is so heartbreakingly well-written. Also, do you have have a relatively darker definition of "wholesome, feel-good content" because of the mixed response some people have had to Noah and Tarva's romantic moments, which you wrote as a cute and wholesome solace from all the fascism and genocide? For the record, I adore the relationship between the ambassador of Earth and the governor of Skalga. If I put myself in your shoes, though, I can see why you'd be feeling apprehensive about fully embracing lovey-dovey stuff in this kind of story, at least when it crosses xenobiological boundaries.
Weston Simmons
Well that was disappointing but maybe the camupets will come full force later since you can't quash emotions forever that depressive death spiral is never fun
Weston Simmons
Thats actually a common practice specifically with phones
DRIVE ME CLOSER, I WANT TO HIT THEM WITH MY SWORD
It was probably the satellite wars that caused the collapse of the CCP
Harrison F
Why did the US have the Satellite Wars if China became more democratic on its own?
Steven Armstrong
Catholic theocracy I'd imagine
Albert Dente
Still want to figure out how to use my aircon to get some tender juicy brisket
Harrison F
What form of government does China have in 2137 @spacepaladin ?
Some Lvm
Everyone is talking about the emotional cliff the characters are dangling from, but all I can think about is: dang, the Feds equip all their ID cards with tracking chips? And the UN isn't even warning its own citizens about that? I get that Zhao is from a nation that would embrace such a practice, at least in our time, but still...
Byron Ritchie
Lol that might work actually
John Benjamin Cate
I don’t see this ending with the pair being friends, but I can see a possibility of them starting to change. Perhaps Blue can accuse her of trying to lure him out with the conversations to kill him. Turn the tables on her with her ideas about predators. Could be interesting!
Ash
Damn that tugs at the heart strings :/ So Venlil led murder-suicide? Don’t be shy. It’s the end of the series, characters gotta die, and die hard.
Pyroraptor
....Damn. Thanks for the chapter!
Fabian Feller
If you listen carefully, you could hear a thousand readers' and my heart absolutely shatter for Giannis.
Wickerwood
Only one more page?! I'm going to need at least one or two more of this drama!
Lapis Kelinia
I hope Juliette gets to live after she realizes what she lost if Romeo dies.
Lorventus
Oh boy this one is gonna hurt when it's done...
Vladi Vladi
God I hope “Romeo” and “Juliette” both die tragically via grief stricken suicide. It would be poetic and a much more powerful message about the dangers living in a world of hate and fear does to people then just making them kiss and make up, or part ways in silence. We haven’t had a good, emotional, deep, death in so long Paladin, come on, just a little bit? Kill one at least, come on. I wanna see it, I wanna read the despair, the realisation, I want a good moral to this story: love always wins, except sometimes it wins in death.
PhycoKrusk
I mean, sure, but you have to understand: When they do it, it's different, see? (Don't think about it too much or else blood'll shoot out your ears)
Mr. Walker
Me too. Worst part it, I was already sad today for unrelated reasons.
PhycoKrusk
Yeah. I think we're just going to have to accept that. I guess compared to most other stuff in the universe, it was wholesome. I guess.
Mr. Walker
This isn't going to have a happy ending.
T___
Also, after all the comments by the aliens identifying as prey about the violence and predation in our phrases (Hunter, fish in a barrel...), I wonder how many they themselves have, like talking about "cooking" Giannis with the flamethrower, his picture "scarring" the camera that took it. Let's not forget "predators scream beneath the Protector’s cleansing fire". Non-violent speech?
T___
One of, if not the top chapter. (Can't really see to write more. Some onions must have somehow gotten into my bedroom...)
PhycoKrusk
Just a reminder for everyone that Rivlia is not like this because she doesn't know better; she's like this because they made her this way. She was shaped to hate anything that doesn't fit into a clear and narrow definition of "prey"; molded to hate it; it's her Function. I can no more hate her for not accepting Giannis than I can hate my air conditioner for not smoking brisket. But Rivlia is not an air conditioner; she is capable of change. And the most important component of that change is exactly what we see in this chapter: A seed of doubt.
Abby
Jesus, we haven't had an alien PoV this infuriating to read since that self-righteous Kalsim.
PhycoKrusk
Sovlin wasn't even an exterminator. How deeply rooted must Rivlia's programming be?
PhycoKrusk
I mean, I guess "wholesome" doesn't have to mean "happy"....
PhycoKrusk
As I often say, the core theme of this story is "man against monster" (or some variation thereof, I'm not terribly consistent). Is an abominable appearance all it truly takes to be a monster, or is the heart what makes the monster?
Enzo Leon
Wholesome story, btw. (Loving it but omg lmao)
Brianreal
I REALLY hope he just moves on to somewhere else where he can be accepted for who he is, and DOESN'T kill himself
RaptorRed
How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?
Taliesyn
Yeah I'm not seeing the wholesome at all here. Not even if Rivi suddenly does a complete 180.
Johnny Rando
I can understand, logically, why Riva is the way she is. But I cannot bring myself to extend emotional understanding with how aggressively unlikable she is. Then again I guess it's consistent; Sovlin was just as bad with humans at first and being a racist POS is still his first defining character trait followed by PTSD and "muh dead daughter."
Nul Atlas
Kinda want to see smth like that too
Austin
Sp we need to talk about what you view as wholesome cause damn.
Squat
I know it's messed up, but I kinda want her to be the one who has to find and incinerate his body when they find it in a tree. She deserves it.
dotnet
While I agree it's frustrating, I disagree that this case is understandable. It was only understandable up until she attacked Gianni. After that it's her fault/responsibility regardless of upbringing.
ethan
Is it wrong that I want this to end as tragically as possible?
EliasArt2Life
The two of them are perfect for each other; two monsters, one in appearance, one in thoughts and actions. Interested in what Denna will say about all of this. She always struck me as significantly less prejudiced than Rivi (not saying that Denna is not prejudiced, just that she is not as adamantly prejudiced).
Bob
I'll be honest, Riva doesnt deserve Blue. I hope this ends with him finding someone new and moving on, leaving her to either sit in her poisonous denial or regret over what she did to someone she genuinely cared about
OctupleThreat
You feel sorry for Klam member Rivi? I think she's very well written and I have a sickly form of sympathy for her gold medal winning mental gymnastics, but she's literally a racist bigot and a criminal. I hope she ends up like Kalsim or Sovlin
Albert Dente
Imagine being electroshocked because you're anti-social. PD FTW Fuck Yeah!
Albert Dente
Would you expect any less from them? As an American I'd think my gov't would want the same thing. OpSec is one hell of a drug.
DemonVee
I was expecting Blue to come report her as missing. Also, geo-tracking government IDs. Another yikes for the Feds.
Albert Dente
Please, sir, I want some more. I know you have an endgame in mind (3 of 4) Is there a double secret patreon to subscribe to to get the rest early?
Apogee
You know as soon as the war is over humanity is gonna turn its collective attention to the shit that’s happening with exterminators on their ALLIES worlds. I can imagine they would have the leverage then to get the guild disbanded altogether especially with all the incidents and deaths they will be able to point to. “According to the numbers ours ‘allies’ have killed collectively just as many of our people as an engagement with the Feds! With friends like these who needs enemies?….Except for the Yoltul, they got rid of their exterminators first thing, their our bros.”
BigSneppy
How is that stalker behavior? He needed his ID to get off world
Gary Johnson
I actually feel sorry for Rivi. It must be something pretty harsh in the dissonance stakes to have these beautiful words, only to see that the person who wrote them is what she would class as barely sapient. As for Gianni, I seriously hope he gets to find somewhere where he isn't judged just because of his eyes.
Diosjenin
Agreed. At this point I’m figuring Giannis will hang himself from a tree in the park and Rivi will be the one who discovers the body
Byron Ritchie
Apogee
That’s what I was thinking
Ondram05
Gianni is gonna kill himself isnt he?
DramaLama
for real... i thought this was supposed to be a wholesome story. :(
Mark
Dam started out like a bad tinder conversation I couldn’t finish this chapter
Schnitzelsemmel
God fucking damnit this made me sad
unknown entity
Aliens in NoP are probably the best mental gymnasts in all of science fiction, I swear even Kalsim wasn't this frustrating to read about, thought that might be due to recency bias. And yeah I know they have been brainwashed through generations and in the Gojid's case lost their homeworld because of us(though we were 100% justified), but it's still frustrating, even if it's understandable.
BigSneppy
“Denna, I could care less what you or anyone else does.” Sorry for being a grammar nazi but the proper phrase is “I couldn’t care less” saying “I could care less” implies that they do care, at least somewhat
Sherman
I have a feeling this is going to have a dark ending, considering its a comparatively small 4 parter with no resolution in sight.
Byne
With the way SP makes every concept that sounds cute and happy end up being very depressing, I'm expecting the thafki at the water park to all die horribly somehow lol.
patreoncryptid
Damn SP this is not excactly what I needed before my exam in thermodynamics
Kaiser Marcqui
SP you're breaking my heart :(((((
Madtrank
Second
Anthony Mears
well, you got one more chapter to make this "wholesome". good luck with that.
