Sleepy_Hua
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057. Perhaps I Should Be More Honest Too
🕑 Added 2025-10-22 11:41:27 +0000 UTCAfter the karaoke ended, he had dinner alone with Kiso Yukina. Since her father would pick her up at the station exit, Murakami Yuu only watched her board the train, then turned and walked toward the platform for his own ride. By the time he got home, it was already 8:30 PM.
After showering, Murakami Yuu sat in a reclining chair by the floor-to-ceiling window, holding an open can of beer in his hand.
Japan's service spirit was admirable. That rigid-looking male store clerk with a lifeless expression had insisted on age verification even for buying a few cans of beer, his nagging attitude full of an adult's lecturing posture - he had to admit the man had the principles and persistence of a proper member of society.
Then Murakami Yuu ignored him and left to try another convenience store. This time the cashier was a girl. He smiled, and using his looks and Totsuka Reita's phone number, got what he wanted.
His gaze looked out at the brightly lit view outside.
His thoughts were somewhat complicated. Under his somewhat dazed gaze, the slender, winding intersecting streets seemed to transform into the meridians and blood vessels of a human body, while the driving cars became cells of varying sizes flowing through them.
That lively, vital ordinary scene brought entirely new sensations completely different from usual, influenced by his changed state of mind.
"Haa..."
A long sigh from Murakami Yuu echoed in the unlit room. The empty beer can was placed on the floor as he got up and walked toward the coffee table. The residual light from the streetlamps spread his shadow across the floor, hazy and faint.
He sat down again.
The afternoon's conversation still vividly replayed in Murakami Yuu's mind.
The sincere and genuine tone of the person helping out their concerned friend didn't seem false, and combined with his own observations and understanding of Kiso Yukina, he chose to believe this account.
He had agreed with her not to tell Kiso Yukina about this, but after learning the truth about certain things, Murakami Yuu's heart was somewhat shaken, and he inevitably showed some unnatural expressions. His gaze occasionally fell on Kiso Yukina in an uncontrolled manner.
That gaze filled with heat and a strange feeling made Kiso Yukina restless throughout the entire meal, thinking at one point that something was inappropriate about her clothing or appearance. She even went to the bathroom twice to repeatedly check in the mirror.
On the way back, Murakami Yuu had been contemplating his unclear feelings and came to a conclusion.
Perhaps this inconsistent emotional change stemmed from the mental shift that came after learning the fact that he was "being liked."
He had originally thought Kiso Yukina had feelings for someone else, and he himself was just a backup substitute - a second choice for when the original item was broken, damaged, or sold out and discontinued.
But in fact, this wasn't the case at all. That was just his own preconceived, one-sided assumption.
Kiso Yukina's goal and approach were very clear.
From beginning to end, it had always been him alone, and only him. Her gaze had never deviated even for a moment.
She knew his player nature, yet remained devoted in her affection, watching him from a not-too-distant position, considerately maintaining her distance, carefully creating opportunities. She wouldn't display feelings so intense that he'd be forced to acknowledge them, nor would she take actions that would put him in a difficult position.
Loyal, judging the situation prudently, with subtle persistence like water dripping on stone, hoping to melt his heart, wishing that one day he would notice that she was the one who had always been by his side.
Murakami Yuu imagined a young wife being treated with indifference, leaning against the doorframe waiting eagerly for her playboy husband - a picture themed on unconditional indulgence and understanding.
That unattainable flower who was pursued and admired after performing at the school festival had humbled herself to the dust beside him.
Yet even so, this brilliant, radiant gemstone accepted it willingly.
The weekly cooking lessons were given special meaning by her, becoming her favorite dates.
She never missed them, like an excellent model student, enthusiastic and absorbed. She treasured and rejoiced in the time they spent alone together.
Each time they spent together was somewhat brief. Her figure and expression as she smiled and waved goodbye from the entrance each time now took on a different meaning.
There was loneliness there.
Images flashed and alternated in his mind, colliding and reacting with each other. Kiso Yukina's image gradually became clear.
Stubbornly accompanying him silently, persisting silently without reward, she lowered her posture to a humble degree. This was the least clever method, but also the most heartbreaking one.
"You've really left me quite a few surprises."
Looking at his own reflection in the floor-to-ceiling window, Murakami Yuu smiled gently, then couldn't help but laugh a little.
He remembered that during the day, he had asked his two close friends what reason supported people to survive in society.
Totsuka Reita's answer was a finger thrusting motion.
At the time, he had felt somewhat helpless and amused, but now it seemed that his action of daring to face his own inner thoughts deserved praise for being honest.
The phone screen beside him lit up. He picked it up to see a message from Kiso Yukina:
[(>人<;) Murakami-kun, I'm home! I just finished showering and came back to my room. I wanted to message you as soon as I got home, but my phone died on the way back. Sorry, sorry!]
Murakami Yuu smiled, his fingers lightly tapping on the screen. Send.
[It's okay.]
After thinking for a moment, he typed another line:
[From now on, call me Yuu like Takeya and the others do. Your way of addressing me always feels a bit distant.]
After waiting about a minute, she replied:
[Okay. I had a great time today, and dinner was delicious too, but not as good as your cooking, Yuu~]
[Then next time I can cook specially for you. Pick a time when I'm free.]
[Eh?]
[You don't want to?]
[I do!]
Murakami Yuu couldn't help but laugh out loud.
[Got it. Rest early, you still have school tomorrow.]
[Mm, then good night, Yuu.]
[Mm, good night, Yukina.]
The moment he put down his phone, Iizuka Takeya's call came through.
I really am busy.
"What's up?"
"Yuu, how did today go?"
Murakami Yuu raised an eyebrow slightly. He could hear that Iizuka Takeya's voice was somewhat breathless.
"Pretty good, I'd say."
"That's good. I'm sincerely hoping you'll win over Kiso Yukina."
"Why?"
"Beautiful goes without saying. She looks gentle, kind, and caring. My eye tells me she's a good girl - probably the type who would evolve into a good wife who prioritizes her husband after marriage."
"You seem to know a lot about this."
Murakami Yuu stood up and returned to his bedroom.
"Come on, who do you think I am?"
Iizuka Takeya sounded like he was in a good mood.
"Alright, go back to your exercise. I'm going to sleep."
"Are you an old man? Sleeping so early..."
Lying in bed, he hung up the phone.
Looking at the ceiling, his thoughts slowly scattered.
Perhaps I should be more honest too.
With the dizzying sensation brought by the alcohol, Murakami Yuu slowly closed his eyes.
...
