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Chapter 154: Celestial Knight
🕑 Added 2023-09-15 03:05:30 +0000 UTCHmmmm.
A being of pure holy energy.
A weapon of pure holy energy.
Armour of pure holy energy.
Eyes ablaze with glowing purpose, it radiated a holy aura, the presence so powerful that I could feel myself being swept away by the pulses of light emanating from its towering frame.
I looked up at the celestial knight, resplendent as it was in shimmering golden energy, boasting ornate runes scribbled like holy scripture into its armoured raiment.
And then I nodded.
“8/10,” I declared.
“What?” replied Coppelia.
“8/10. My score.”
“What are we scoring this time?”
I pointed up at the floating being of warped golden light.
“This rendition of a holy warrior. Highly accurate. Details are misaligned or missing, of course. But overall, it meets a satisfactory benchmark. I will withhold my rotten apple cores.”
In response, Coppelia gave me a puzzled smile. She slowly turned her gaze towards the celestial knight floating in the air.
“The guy about to sprout angel wings is only an 8/10?”
“A highly generous score. Frankly, I have my doubts that this is actually an avatar of the heavens we face. I have the soul of an angel, and so any foe who blocks my path can only be a bearer of foul deeds.”
“I dunno, I’m starting to feel guilty for swiping that daffodil from the horse even though he saw it first, and I never feel guilty for that. It’s a horse and Coppelia eats flowers world, after all.”
“Then you may shortly return to that world in the safe knowledge that only I have the authority to pass judgement for your misdeeds. Certainly more than something which lacks attention to detail.”
Indeed, one of the most popular plays in the Royal Arc Theatre, The Rains Of The Heavens, prominently featured actors clad in authentic holy regalia.
Why, the way the light physically rippled from this being’s figure was significantly less severe than the bolts of retribution which struck at those who spoke too loudly, laughed at a joke which wasn't funny or fell asleep in the periphery.
Kwakowww!
At once, a bolt of crackling lightning struck the soil beneath where the great sword was pointed. A sizzling patch of burning vengeance was all that remained of an unfortunate earthworm who’d peeked to enjoy the spectacle.
“Mortals. You have defiled that which is deemed lawful and shall now be judged.”
I gave it a moment’s consideration.
“8.5/10,” I said generously.
Beside me, Coppelia hummed as she stood on her tip-toes, peering up at the figure enshrouded in light.
“You know, I really think it’s a genuine celestial knight. Look. It even has the voice!”
“The voice?”
“The same one as the big guy. In my library”
I raised a brow at her.
“Is your library’s custodian a self-declared celestial knight, too?”
“No. He’s a lot scarier.”
“Well, there you are, then. Possession of excellent stage projection hardly constitutes a holy pass of identification. Especially when all it does is break noise control stipulations. No true servant of the heavens would ever disregard the important laws of my kingdom designed to keep the midnight louts at bay.”
“Sooooooooo … you think it’s a new hire?”
“If so, a pity it had to meet me as its first customer.”
I turned towards the glowing being.
An obstacle was still an obstacle. Even if this one did float above the ground.
I stepped forwards, blowing away a strand of golden light floating towards me before I duly crossed my arms.
If this were a junior celestial knight, then it needed to call its superior. My complaints were far above its pay grade.
“Very well. You with the glowing … everything. There is a yellow tent behind you. My loyal handmaiden assures me that a creature of pure malevolence exists within. I intend to remove it.”
I waited for the golden being to float aside.
It didn’t.
“Mortals, heed my–”
“Time.” I pointed to an unseen moon. “Even as the most efficient person in the kingdom, I am no cockatrice chasing after a giant hen. Assume I’ve both heard and ignored the pageantry. Now proceed from that point onwards. Why are you in my path?”
The glowing being’s expression was hidden behind a helmet of pure light.
Yet even so, no mask could hide a window representing a mouth opening in indignity. I hardly saw why. If it wanted me to listen to its full introduction, then it should have been included in the opening statement where it belonged.
“You have shattered the ward placed to ensure that the evil here does not see the light of day. State your defence, and I shall consider it in the lessening of your sentence.”
If there was ever any evidence to support this glowing thing’s claims of being a holy warrior, it was the fact each and every word tired me as greatly as the sermons I’d pried myself away from the moment I understood the concept of boredom.
Still, it wasn’t enough that I couldn’t raise my arms in disbelief.
“Excuse me! But if something evil resides here, then surely, inviting them into the daylight is precisely what you should be doing! Yes, you! Clearly, you can float. Go pick up the tent and take it to the horizon. The sunrise is a marvel here in this mountainous region. I permit you to enjoy the scenery while being useful.”
I waited for the apologetic bow. And then the awkward shuffle away.
“For the transgression, guilt is assured. Only mitigation now remains.”
All I heard was reason for more outrage.
“Now pay close attention, Sir …”
“Sir Morynth the Redeemer, Celestial Knight-Gallant. Exemplar to Lady–”
“Yes, whoever! I do not care one whit who you claim to be, nor which celestial toad you serve! And not only because you lack any means of documentation. How dare you seek to judge me. Me. In my own kingdom! There is no authority here other than myself and my boot! And you are neither.”
I pointed at the yellow tent.
“A town’s productivity is being imperilled by a burgeoning tourism sector, and any evil which promotes it must be relocated immediately. You shall not prevent that. Rest assured that you’re not the first floating, glowing thing I’ve suffered the misfortune of rolling my eyes at.”
I raised Starlight Grace, its light greater than anything above or below the clouds, for it matched the righteous soul of its wielder.
“Step aside, unless you wish to shield the evil behind you. I will permit this highly embarrassing faux pas to pass. At least until the next opportunity to publicly denigrate the heavens. Disperse at once. I am Princess Juliette Contzen. This is my kingdom. And my word is law.”
Silence fell over the bottom of the abyss as a golden gaze considered me.
And then the colour turned scarlet.
“Not in my judgement.”
Bwooomph!
Suddenly, the figure was no longer bleeding white.
It was bleeding fire.
As though an effigy was set alight by molten lava, the towering figure of the celestial knight became a visage of horror as the warmth of golden light morphed instead to an avatar of retribution.
I turned to Coppelia, utterly appalled.
“Coppelia! This celestial knight is wilfully turning its hostility against me! A literal angel! … It can only mean one thing!”
“What’s that?”
“That this celestial knight … has utterly fallen to the same evil it presides over!”
Indeed, even for a junior celestial knight, to see such a noble being brought low by corruption and evil was a sight grimmer than the fate of the earthworm it had burned!
Why, it could prove a deadlier threat than whatever else remained in this hole!
I had to destroy it!
“Eh … I think it’s just the guys upstairs being reaaaaaaally set in their ways.”
“Well, we cannot allow this to be,” I said, wincing as the flames burned before me. “It stands in our way. That is the only truth we need.”
Coppelia whistled as she took in the sight of the inscriptions on the regalia hissing as they were redrawn, whatever words of mercy they were previously now a scribbled ode to death.
“This guy’s super strong. I can tell.”
“Because it’s a self-proclaimed champion of the heavens?”
“No. Because it’s on fire. Anything on fire has to be strong. That’s the rule.”
“That can’t be a rule.”
“Nope. It’s a rule.”
“What if it’s a fruit slime?”
“Even a fruit slime. If it’s on fire, you need to suddenly look like this.”
Coppelia’s brows creased. She put on a rare look of caution and concern.
I endeavoured to swipe it away.
“A mere parlour trick. And one which I’ll readily douse.”
“Well, that might be tough. Celestial knights aren’t the kind of things you use to chase away grumpy goblins. They’re the champions of the heavens, unbreakable in both spirit and body.”
“Irrelevant. If it exists, then it can de-exist.”
Coppelia puffed up a cheek as she leaned forwards, eyeing for some weakness.
“If you want to destroy it, you should do it now while it’s still anchoring to our world. This guy means business. The moment those flames take over its whole body, I bet we’ll become the crunchy topping to crème brûlée.”
“There are no crunchy bits, Coppelia.”
“That’s because you’ve only ever eaten the worst ones.”
The molten wings forming upon the back of the celestial knight paled to the horror I felt at whatever burned disasters Coppelia had been consuming.
My hand gripped tightly around Starlight Grace.
My loyal handmaiden had never tasted a morsel of true crème brûlée in her life. Until I could invite her to a brief … very, very brief … visit to the Royal Villa’s kitchens, I couldn’t permit her to become a vein of ore on the ground!
“Ohoho … very well,” I said, raising my sword high. “I have no intention of permitting it to form in front of me. If it’s foolish enough to invite an attack while vulnerable, then I shall oblige!”
I began to swivel my sword, the movement familiar and calming even in the deepest abyss.
Yet even so … I came to an abrupt stop.
I glanced to my side, noting at once the absence by my side. As my loyal handmaiden, Coppelia had many jobs. And responding to my fashionably timed declarations was most certainly one of them.
That necessitated her being here!
I swivelled around, deeply confused at her sudden disappearance. She’d vanished like a cat in an alley.
“Whhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~!!”
And after hearing where the exclamation of joy and mischief was coming from, I also knew she was bounding like one.
Falling from a height which would guarantee nothing remained of the charred earthworm, a beaming Coppelia dived towards the celestial knight’s head, a giant, black scythe perched upon her shoulder as shadows trailed in her wake.
A halo of flames formed to greet her arrival. And then a great set of burning wings.
Fwuump!
With a twist as needless as the shock I was currently feeling, Coppelia sent her scythe down into the waiting wings. Pressed down by momentum and sheer strength, the tip pierced halfway through before it was stopped.
The edge of a fiery halo was extinguished.
But not the thin smile beneath it, clear as the flames being radiated.
To my absolute chagrin, the celestial knight … was mocking Coppelia!
My loyal handmaiden, whose desire to defend me stretched so far that she would go to such brave and daring feats as to brave a celestial knight’s flames!
“Ahhahahahaahahahahahahaha~”
In … Indeed …
Why, the flames were so rampant that she’d become delirious from the heat!
“Oh boy!” said Coppelia, gracefully swinging herself into the air. She landed atop the shaft of her own lodged scythe. “This is great! I’ve never gotten to kill anything from the heavens before!”
“C-Coppelia! This is hardly the time to be playing around!”
Her response was to offer a smile brighter than any flames.
“Mmh! You’re right. After all, I’ve already had my share of fun and games today~”
Pwack.
Coppelia clapped her hands together.
At once, the beginnings of a black window to the abyss began to form.
A black window which immediately started to shake.
Coppelia wasted no time. Hopping off her scythe, she somersaulted in the air, twisting to face the open helm of the celestial knight as she fell. In that briefest of moments, she fully widened her clockwork repository held between her palms.
“[Coppelia Stuff Attack]!”
I sent a palm towards my face.
Too late. My fingers failed to block the sight swiftly enough.
Because before I could save myself from a memory I didn’t need to keep, I witnessed a veritable explosion of plushies, unused tickets, cheap toys, trinkets and accessories explode with the force of a fireball tossed by a catapult directly into the exposed face of the celestial knight.
It was a horrific sight.
Which was why I continued to peek between my fingers as I watched the holy being writhe in sudden agony. The wings flailed, the attached scythe preventing movement as the celestial knight crashed to the ground, brought low by the lowest attack possible.
Proving that quantity was a quality of its own, the celestial knight reached up with its flaming hands, swiping away at the piles of junk even as they freely melted into its burning face. The colour of the fire darkened at once, as though diluted by the sheer weight of everything absorbed.
“Such … Such avarice. I feel it. The greed. The wickedness. The gambling. The … The joy at others’ misfortune. It hurts. It hurts so much … It’s … It’s so … so beautiful … AaaHHHhhHHhhHHhhhhhhhhhhhhh~”
The celestial knight shivered.
And for the first time, I saw it was no meek junior in the hierarchy of the heavens. But merely a waylaid lamb, finding itself on the wrong road.
And against the shepherd who was Coppelia, I could only offer my pity.
The celestial knight twisted and turned, its armour sucked into itself as its figure collapsed into a myriad of lesser and lesser shapes. A terrible crunching noise reverberated within the chasm as the holy being was squeezed as if by a fist.
Bwooooooomph!
A moment later, nothing but a cloud of dazzling light could be seen, finally dispersing into the air.
I slowly withdrew the palm from my face. Yet only after a long, quiet groan did I stride over to where a tiny pin could now be seen, absorbing the light of my sword.
A tiny helmet on the ground, less than the size of a nail.
And all which remained of a once noble being.
Coppelia picked up her scythe, then skipped over to duly scoop up the tiny helmet.
“Celestial knight of justice … defeated!” she said proudly popping it into her pouch. “That’s one down on the bucket list!”
I offered her the appropriate look of dubiousness.
“You make it sound as though felling a celestial knight with carnival prizes was an ambition you’d always hoped to realise.”
“As of 10 seconds ago, sure!”
Coppelia beamed, patting her pouch in delight.
A part of me wondered how many strudels a miniature fragment of a celestial helmet could purchase. A more daring part of me wondered what came next on her list of foes she wished to defeat using only the regurgitation from a box of tricks.
“Yes, well, I’m delighted you were able to realise your short held desire.”
“So am I! That’s what makes life fun. No offence.”
“Why would I take offence at that?”
“Not you. The vampire.”
Coppelia leaned slightly to the side, peering behind me.
I spent a moment being appropriately distraught.
Honestly. I didn’t ask for much. Just a single moment. Was this the price I had to pay for being an accomplice to felling heavenly knights?
I ensured my attire was free of dust. And then I turned around.
Before me, a girl no older than I stood clutching a book to her chest.
A lithe frame. Slender limbs. Long, silvery hair as resplendent as moonlight. And scarlet eyes made all the more sharper against her pale skin, impossibly smooth and clear even with the regimental pampering of a princess’s lifestyle.
Coppelia leaned past me.
“Hi there~ I always wanted to know, what do vampires do when they love the taste of garlic, but also can’t eat it due to being physically repulsed by the aroma?”
The vampire glanced over to the corner in thought.
“I cannot speak on behalf of others. But I blanch the garlic first, or use it only in conjunction with dishes already possessing a strong flavour profile. A clementine coulis on quail would mask the pungency entirely, as would most things consisting heavily of citrus or game.”
My mouth opened wide.
Not because that was a very reasonable suggestion for someone found in the bottom of a chasm. Nor because she was wearing pink attire so garish in appearance that she had no hope of being abducted through a window in a dignified manner.
Not even because of the clear outline of a fang, revealed by the light of my sword as she gave her recommendation.
No … instead, what I saw was something which made me forget all manner of etiquette.
Familiar golden text, embossed onto a discreet red cover.
A Court Lady’s Indiscretion …… Vol. 5.
Belatedly, I sent my hand to cover my mouth.
This book … wasn’t even released yet!
“You!” I said, realising now that this was no foe to be trifled with. “What … What sorcery is this? What powers of the divine do you possess? How could you hold that which doesn’t yet exist?”
I pointed the tip of my blade at the impossible book. And then quickly pointed away. If I spontaneously tripped and damaged it, that’d be a travesty!
The vampire blinked at me.
“Through five centuries of professional networking.”
“Oh. I see. That is … well, I haven’t even finished the 3rd volume yet, so …”
A moment of pause.
Then, the vampire pointed at the tent behind her.
“Would you like to borrow mine? I have a copy.”
I would have recoiled less had she attempted to bite my neck.
Indeed, I had little knowledge of what this spawn of darkness was scheming. But I knew to refuse. To accept anything from a vampire was to invite certain oblivion upon all I held dear!
Even … Even if it was with great sadness that I left my current book unfinished, I possessed neither the time nor the ill-discipline to be distracted from my noble task!
And currently, this meant removing the source of Stermondt’s evil.
Yes … I referred to this amalgamation of woe before me!
That’s why, even if I was utterly shocked that the kingdom’s bestselling adventure romance of the past year was now an entire two volumes ahead, I stood as unbending as the statues of my forebears, the dazzling hue of Starlight Grace in my hand as undiminished as my will!
I creased my brows, then pointed my sword towards the creature’s heart.
“Yes, please.”
… Hmm?
Comments
Alexey Gladkich
"I have the soul of an angel" Biblically accurate angels tend to destroy cities and armies with passion and ease... I guess she is right then.
Kyfe
And she has the authority, and boot, to do so!
phantom
Juliette: I am a pure maiden that can not be tempted by evil. The evil: has unreleased editions of romance novels. Juliette: -is tempted to declare a reclassification of what is evil-
