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Chapter 149: Murder Fog
🕑 Added 2023-09-03 03:21:12 +0000 UTCThe streets of Stermondt were less welcoming than I envisaged.
Naturally, I was a princess of logic and reason. And this meant I was under no allusions as to the size of the crowds that would greet me.
Being masterfully incognito and with no prior announcements regarding my presence or who I was, I expected the amount of admirers to stretch no more than five rows back.
A shame, then.
Because the unremitting fog appeared to be hiding my adoring well-wishers.
Walking amidst the cobbled roads, I could only feel appalled at the sight before me … primarily, as I couldn’t actually see anything at all!
As night came to Stermondt, so did the worst of the mist, gobbling up any remaining vestiges of light.
The fog settled amidst the dusty houses, leaving everything except odd silhouettes shrouded in a blanket of white as thick as marshmallows.
At this rate, I’d risk bumping my precious nose into the nearest mailbox before I found my destination.
A significant issue.
Or it would be, were I not utterly impervious to such distractions!
“[Spring Breeze]!”
Poof!
Starlight Grace burned bright in my hand as I illuminated the path before me.
Like a cloud of peasants parting before my royal carriage, the mist was promptly replaced by an abandoned road strewn with the litter of vandals, the gutters overflowing with sludge and the mice which scurried into them.
Thus … I slowly allowed the fog to return, putting away my blade.
“A poor sight,” I said, my sigh joining the mist. “Sadly, the results of our wider endeavours aren’t shared by all. Even as we worked to free the lowlands, the royal capital and the coast from schemers and foul plots, Stermondt continued to suffer.”
“Mmh~ you’re right. It’s terrible. I’m not having fun at all.”
Coppelia nodded, her amusement still visible as she drew a smiling face into the fluffy fog.
I leaned in, then replaced the smile with a sad droop.
There. Much better.
“Why, just look at this fog! Things have become so terrible that even nature itself is attempting to obscure the pain! This cannot be natural.”
“I’m not disagreeing, because this is a loooot. Seriously, I can taste it. But fog and mountains is a really popular combo too, you know?”
“Not for Stermondt. This is highly irregular. The town sits in a spot visited by high winds. If such a fog was commonplace, the merchants would have long found a way to commercialise it … as they’ve done with whatever evil resides here.”
“Ooh, ooh! I know! … What about selling murders?”
“Excuse me?”
“This is great fog for murders. If you want a good murder, here’s the place to do it.”
“What? No. I don’t want any murders.”
“Oh, okay.” Coppelia paused. “Is that because you have moral objections to monetising murders, or you just don’t think it can be done?”
“Coppelia! What sort of question is that? It’s highly inappropriate!”
“Sorry, sorry~”
“... And also, I fail to see how murders can be easily monetised. It’s hardly a regulated industry.”
“No, but you can totally make it one.”
“Please, Coppelia, there’s no possibility that’s an option … is there?”
“All I’m saying is that if this tiny human town starts advertising fog so thick you can’t see who’s popped their last cork, then every nephew with an inheritance will be inviting their uncles out for a walk. Think of the extra footfall!”
I gave it a moment’s thought.
True. If word was spread that a few walking trails were missing critical sign posts warning of sudden vertical drops, then by posting guards at the appropriate spots, it’d be possible to arrest and fine the perpetrators before the victim’s scream had even finished echoing … wait, no!
“I am not incentivising murders,” I said, holding my head high as I rose above the … not entirely unworkable scheme. “The ramifications for my kingdom’s reputation would be appalling. Could you imagine if wealthy uncles started dropping down from the sky while a dignitary was enjoying a sorbet in the sun?”
“I mean, it’s not like it’s their wealthy uncle that’d be dropping. And if it is, then they’re now suddenly richer. Think of it! You could put your kingdom on the map with this~”
“E-Excuse me! My kingdom is already on the map!”
“Ehhh … you have to look pretty closely.”
“It’s a basket of civilisation squeezed between the envious gazes of its neighbours, thank you! And I’ll not jeopardise its reputation … at least not until a further cost-benefit analysis has been completed.”
Coppelia giggled.
She shouldn’t, of course. Once wealthy relatives began slipping en-masse, she was the one who had to explain why a warning sign was never placed atop the cliff.
“By the way, I think I found the house,” she said, her silhouette skipping into the fog. “The directions don’t really make sense when you can’t see further than your toe, but I’m pretty sure this is it!”
“Truly? Excellent! How do you know?”
“Well, you see all the murder fog? I think it’s coming from inside.”
And so as the mist thickened, so too did the number of soap bars the leader of the Miner’s Guild would need to craft.
“Wonderful. An illegal ladder into the mines and now the birthplace to a mysterious fog. I suppose it’s too much to hope for that an alchemy cauldron was left running.”
“That’d be a good way to get one up on nosy neighbours, huh? You can lean over a hedge, but you can’t peek through murder fog.”
“It’s not murder fog. Just fog.”
“Murder fog has a nice ring to it. I’m gonna keep using it.”
I gave Coppelia the raised eyebrow she couldn’t see, then followed her voice into the mist.
I found her stopped beside a blackened door, her playful smile lighting it up where the hidden stars failed. Little else of the house could be seen, but I trusted in my handmaiden’s instincts … as well as her ability to cause mischief.
Indeed, I already knew what to expect even as I reached for the handle.
Creaaaaaaaaaaaak.
I smiled in triumph.
Predictable!
All too predictable!
Indeed, as the door slowly swung open before me, I already had my gloating laugh prepared as I watched this naive girl’s feeble attempt to frighten me!
Too easy! If she wished to induce horror, then all she needed to do was use a dessert fork during the entrée!
“Ohohohoho … really now. I’m afraid it’ll take much more than a creaking door to instil fright in me.”
“Boooooo~” she replied, bringing back the foot used to nudge it open.
I raised my hand to my lips, barely covering my smile as I savoured a simple victory.
“You should know by now that I’m a wealth of experience. I’m afraid your pranks are wasted on me. My own brother was ever the scoundrel so far as his games were concerned. After the trials of my upbringing, little can alarm me.”
Coppelia blew up a cheek, then pouted.
However, the very moment she did so, her eyes blinked wide open at the hallway behind me.
My response was to further brighten my smile.
Ohohoho! Here it was! The predictable follow-up!
The moment I turned my back, she’d pounce upon me with a tug of my shoulders! A crude, but effective tactic … if I hadn’t suffered such stunts already!
Thus, I humbly obliged, turning around as I readied my gloating laughter for yet another failed ploy.
As expected, no figure was ready to greet me inside. Only a deathly silence, and a darkened passage billowing with the twisting smoke of a hundred candles being suddenly extinguished.
I waited for the pounce.
Instead, I received a nudge instead. I glanced around in confusion.
Coppelia pointed down by my feet.
“Murder fog,” she said.
I tilted my head slightly.
Then, I turned my gaze downwards–only to see a pained face embedded in the floorboards.
It blinked up at me.
“–Hiiiiieeeeee?!?!?!”
I leapt away, using Coppelia as a shield as I immediately sought refuge.
What … What was that?!
It was so ugly!
To my horror, the billowing smoke within the hallway suddenly shifted, and the face stuck to the floor rose upon a bed of cloudy tendrils. It hideously twisted and bent like the only time Florella baked a soufflé, before gathering shape until a silhouette could be seen.
The process took only moments.
Before us, a figure as hazy as a mirage came together, wearing a dress as tattered and frayed as its limbs. Twisted, elongated and sickly, it was akin to a doll that had been bent and ruined beyond repair.
And then came the skin, as pallid as the mist from which it was made.
Upon a caricature of a woman’s face, two sockets where eyes should be stared at us above a deformed nose. Only its hair showed any life, dancing like a pit of snakes gathering for its next meal.
My mouth widened in horror.
A banshee.
For a moment, the undead monstrosity merely hovered, its eyeless gaze turned appraisingly towards me.
And then–
The mist turned red as flowing blood.
The creature’s expression turned to horror and anguish, before its clawed hands reached up to tear at its own face. Blackened, hollow lacerations ran down pale cheeks as its hideous nails viciously dug out chunks of ghostly flesh.
Then, the banshee twisted and turned, before finally hurtling itself up through a hole in the ceiling, deeper into the house.
The scarlet mist faded, but the chunks of flesh did not. They melted slowly. Blackened puddles of sticky, waxy blood burning up the floorboards.
Several moments of silence passed.
Eventually, I turned to Coppelia.
“You see? This is precisely why we knock. The state of her hair. Why, if I was seen like that, I’d also be tearing my own cheeks off in embarrassment!”
Comments
hg2b
That taxes angle sounds very plausible.
Tarmandan
Okay, so my assumption is that that banshee is the disguised vampire and recognised Juliette. Or more precisely Juliette looks just like one of her ancestors and the vampire knew them and either adored them and was shocked about them seeing her like this or they were one of Juliette's more terrifying ancestors and the vampire did not pay taxes for the last couple hundred years...
Kyfe
Very valid point. I see no contradiction. The cops do it all the time: "We've investigated ourselves and found no wrongdoing."
Vega
I have a question, can it really be called lawful/(neutral?evil) if you are only lawful because you are the law?
