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Chapter 147: Haunted Town
🕑 Added 2023-08-31 02:20:22 +0000 UTCOf my kingdom’s centre of industry, only the pointed rooftops and the steeple of a distant chapel could be easily gleaned, their dark silhouettes like spikes amidst the dense fog which clawed at them. Framed against the last of the dimming evening, they appeared like scars amidst a bloody sky.
An ominous sight. Yet the fog was not without its benefits.
After all, I’d witnessed enough of our holdings that my curiosity was the same as the parched trees behind us. Yet it was clearly unwelcome all the same.
If I wished to see a town hidden from view, I’d order it demolished.
Indeed, I had no need for unnatural weather events to hide it for me.
… And I certainly had no need for the masses of commoners, either.
“What … What is this?!”
My mouth was wide open as I entered Stermondt.
A terrible lapse in etiquette which would usually cause me to invite all witnesses into a darkened room for a pleasant conversation. And yet it failed to prove a problem.
The sound of Apple’s hooves trotting against earth became the sound of plodding against a well paved street. And all I saw was fog.
Fog … and the tourists which inhabited it!
Tourists here!
Tourists there!
Tourists everywhere!
A horrific succession of visitors bursting through the mist like whales breaching the waves. They thronged the narrow streets of a town neither built for sightseeing, nor the assembled rows of traders displaying wares as though this were the market district in the royal capital!
It wasn’t, of course.
This was the centre of our mining industry. And I didn’t hear a single pickaxe.
“Sacred silver bracelets! Get your sacred silver bracelets here, officially sanctified merchandise blessed by the Holy Church!”
Instead, I heard peddling as optimistic as it was shameless.
“–Miss, would you be interested in a sacred silver–”
“Burnished iron. Inferior quality. Poorly crafted.”
“Consecrated pearl charms! Get your consecrated pearl charms here! Blessed by the Holy Church! Guaranteed to ward away all sources of incorporeal life within 200 metres! … Ma’am, would you consider our pearl–”
“Cheaply made beads fit only as choking hazards to goldfish.”
“Garlands of lavender! Wreaths of amaranthe! Anise petals and uncrushed sage, all freshly picked from the Holy Church’s own botanical fairy ring! … Young lady, would you–”
“Wildflowers plucked from the wayside and trampled on by a wheelbarrow.”
“Salt! Lots of salt! Salt for all occasions and for all demons! … Hey there, would you like some salt? Better than what the Holy Church sells.”
“No.”
I grit my teeth. The salt merchant looked offended.
The utter nerve.
Why, it was as though I was the odd one here!
Left and right, unscrupulous charlatans rubbed their hands in anticipation of the crowns to fall into them, their eyes alight with opportunism as they searched for easier prey when they should have been searching for easier ore veins to mine.
I tugged Apple’s reins to a halt.
“Coppelia.”
“Yes?”
“Please explain to me what I’m seeing.”
“A town engulfed in the darkness of entrepreneurship, its citizens enthralled by the evil of shiny trinkets and cut-throat deals. It’s a good thing you arrived in time. The town’s really on its knees, huh?”
Coppelia hid her smile behind her hands.
She didn’t bother hiding her ensuing giggle.
“This is a calamity,” I declared at once, watching as a mother lifted up a laughing infant to receive a free garland of flowers. “Stermondt is a regional capital. It is a beacon of prosperity. How could things have fallen so grim?”
“I mean … this doesn’t look too bad?”
“Coppelia, the streets of a vital industrial town which those of us in power routinely ignore unless to take advantage of is now filled with peasants. Nothing good ever comes from that. History is clear on the matter. I can smell a rebellion.”
My loyal handmaiden sniffed the air.
“It smells like normal humans to me. And that’s not a good thing. But it’s still normal. You sure you’re not overthinking this? I thought a thriving town would be a good thing.”
“Perhaps if this were some village in the lowlands celebrating unearthing a very large potato from a field. This is not.”
“Nothing’s exploding, though. And I bet at least one of these merchants must pay half their taxes properly. Isn’t that good?”
“It most certainly isn’t. As a princess, I am singularly concerned with my daily supply of fresh pi … with the prosperity of the kingdom. And merchants selling common beads masquerading as pearls hardly constitute the tax revenue I either need or expect.”
“I dunno. The mark up on fake pearls is pretty high. I bet you could make a huge amount of crowns if you were willing to toss aside all ethics and turn your kingdom into one giant counterfeiting workshop.”
“... How many crowns is ‘a huge amount’ of crowns?”
Coppelia looked up in thought, then held up an invisible armful of coins.
“This much?”
“Not enough,” I said, holding my head high. “Stermondt’s value doesn’t come from cheap trinkets. It comes from hard exports and a supply of metals, minerals and precious gems to my family at extortionately low prices.”
Indeed this was an utter calamity. And I needed an explanation.
Fitting, therefore, that a maid would rush to my aid, drawn by my royal aura.
“Hi there! Hi, hello! Ma’am, please have a look at this!”
A young woman with a fetching smile. She appeared suddenly as an arrow in a battlefield. Her black and white uniform fluttered as she practically swung a straw basket filled with flowers over Apple’s head.
He immediately paused, his head reaching up to nibble at them.
I nodded. Apple had one job. To carry me. But it was just as important to defend me when required.
Especially against a basket of flowering weeds.
“Ma’am, would you like a freshly picked buttercup? Guaranteed to defend against all sources of evil within a 5000 square metre area! Much better than those ghastly trampled flowers plucked from the wayside!”
I was outraged.
Even the maids were now peddlers?!
And what’s more … yellowing buttercups! A sight worthy of a shudder!
Why, to hawk wares at me as though I were some wide eyed villager from the countryside was one thing! But to sell me something which I frequently spent time removing was the epitome of insult!
“You ask if I would like to knowingly endanger my orchard. I do not. Buttercups do not ward against evil. They bring it in the form of their invasive roots.”
“Oh? But they’re beautiful. Much like yourself! Would you like a floral bracelet? It’d match well with your eyes–and these come with natural repellent properties against ghouls, geists and zombies!”
I rolled my eyes.
Here was the next slight. Thinking I could be charmed like some stableboy by the whims of a flowery servant with daisies in her hair.
“I have utterly no desire to indulge in your fantasies of making outrageous profit margins on selling weeds stolen from the jaws of a badger. This is highly unorthodox. Why is a maid offloading garden trimmings instead of discreetly flinging them over the nearest fence?”
The maid’s smile went unabated, even as she hurriedly shifted her basket away from Apple’s searching eyes.
“My mistress has ordered that I do so while she engages in private matters. She considers most wildflowers to be weeds. I hope to earn extra funds for the estate while I do so. Our uniform budget was exceeded months ago.”
I peered down at the maid’s uniform. Cuffs crinkled with the clear hint of stitching. An apron thinned, if not quite frayed. Shoes dull with a lack of polish.
I nodded.
“Very well. A laudable effort to maintain the dignity of whomever you serve. And were you one of my own, I’d commend you for the shameless entrepreneurship. As you are not, I require you to explain why a town has been reduced to selling weeds and cheap trinkets?”
“Excuse me?”
I gestured around me, my hands almost lost in the fog.
“Why are these streets filled with commoners like mice to a cheese board? As much as I enjoy taxable transactions, this is not what Stermondt needs. What has happened to the proud citizens who toil thanklessly in the mines until they become withered husks?”
The maid turned away from Apple, shielding her basket of flowers with increasing difficulty.
“Oh, you mean the miners?” she said, unaware that her will would break before my permanently insatiable horse’s would. “They’re over there.”
The maid pointed at the traders.
All of them.
Merely expecting it didn’t lessen the pain.
“You cannot be serious. What of the Miner’s Guild? How have they allowed this travesty to occur on their watch? They are the greatest prospectors of the realm! Their pride wouldn’t allow them to down their tools!”
“I think most of the miners left to form the Tourism Guild.”
I placed my palms upon my face.
“... Why?”
“Well, there’s this hole into the abyss. You might have heard about it. It’s great! Someone dug up a hole containing an awakened evil, so now nobody can actually mine there anymore.”
I let out a small groan.
What did people do exactly when I wasn’t there? Eat by shoving spoons into their ears?
Just why would it matter if something evil had awoken? These peasants had pitchforks. And if they could bring down a monarchy, then they could also bring down whatever demonic creature they’d awoken!
“Wonderful. And why does this nondescript evil somehow preclude the people of this town from wielding pickaxes to fight against them?”
“Well, it’s really spooky. I’ve seen the hole myself. You can yell down and whatever you say echoes back up for 10 minutes. It’s such a unique experience. I highly suggest you try it!”
I rubbed my temple.
Each day, I was becoming more like Mother. A horrifying prospect.
“Correct me if I misunderstand. There is an awakened evil at the bottom of the mines. And so instead of mobilising the town as an unstoppable peasant mob, the decision is to instead … shout at it?”
The maid nodded, her smile piercing the fog.
“It was a great decision! People are earning a lot more from tourists than they did from the kingdom. Apparently, mining never really paid well. Now everyone’s quality of life has increased hugely. Look, everyone’s smiling!”
I was utterly aghast.
Here I was, come to save the regional capital of our eastern mountains from the perils of whatever darkness had encroached upon it … and they were merely using it as an opportunity to slack?!
“Very well. I’ve heard enough. A hole in the ground, a nondescript malevolence and wanton laziness. I can fix that.”
“Oh no. We’re good. Like I said, a lot of people are doing quite well for themselves now.”
“Excellent. Just the things I did not travel the length and breadth of my kingdom to hear about. Now, where is this hole so I can fix this unmitigated disaster?”
“Excuse me?”
“The hole. Please point me to it. Where is this hole that an entire mining town awash with shovels refuses to simply fill back up?”
The maid blinked.
“If you want to visit the hole, you’ll need a ticket.”
“I do not need a ticket!”
“The Tourism Guild will probably ask for one.”
I threw my arms up in outrage.
“I will not pay for a ticket!”
“Well, the sign outside the hole says–”
“The sign outside the hole will say whatever I want it to say, and if it doesn’t, then I shall ensure the error is remedied. Only the Miner’s Guild has the authority to access the mines. And they are the only ones I shall treat with … for now.”
I permitted only a dark, fleeting smile to grace my lips.
Oh yes. There would be repercussions for this. Miners seeking an escape from the life of thankless sweating we demanded from them to instead cater to the whims of tourists was unacceptable.
Why, their wealth now filled their own pockets! It was a travesty! This did nothing to line the vaults of the Royal Treasury!
Thus, I looked ahead to where the Miner’s Guild awaited.
Probably.
It’d been some time since I was last here … hence why I glanced over at the maid.
She pointed in a different direction.
“It’s past the fountain. You cannot miss it.”
“Excellent. You’ve been mildly useful. Should I ever meet your mistress, I shall pass along my lack of complaints. Good day to you.”
Suddenly, the maid held up her basket. At once, Apple was drawn to it.
“Um … are you sure you don’t want to buy a flower first?”
“I do not. And neither does my horse, despite his insistence on the matter.”
“It’ll probably be useful if you intend on visiting the mines. Or just walking around Stermondt. It’s more than the hole in the abyss which draws tourists here. The fog is said to contain evil spirits, ghosts, wraiths, and other phantoms best left unseen. Flowers are a natural ward against them.”
“Excellent.” I managed to turn Apple around, albeit with less dignity than a rider of my skill should display. “Rest assured, then, that any evil spirits will be vanquished at my passing. Meadows bloom behind every step I’ve graced.”
The maid giggled as she twisted her flower basket away.
“Is that so? … Gosh, maybe I should follow after you, then.”
She bowed, then waited for me to leave.
An unnecessary gesture to one who didn’t employ her, but I obliged her politeness nonetheless.
I turned to the fog ahead.
Pomph.
At least until I heard the sound of a basket falling to the ground.
It rolled several times, bouncing against the road as it came to a rest just past Apple’s hooves. From it, wilted buttercups long devoid of life dribbled out.
Apple dipped his head, then began to nibble.
I looked behind me. Of the maid, nothing could be seen.
Hmmmmmmm.
“Come on, that had to be an 8/10, right?” said Coppelia, wearing an expression of simple delight as she peered through the fog at the figure she couldn’t spy.
I gave it a moment’s thought as I peered down at the wilted buttercups.
“7.5/10,” I declared.
“That’s just you being difficult.”
“No. That’s me maintaining standards. If the buttercups were exuding a deadly fume, then it would be an 8/10.”
“Maybe you’ll have a chance to give suggestions. Say, can your Starlight Umbrella poke spirits?”
“Having never tested it before, I can confidently say … maybe.”
“Great! I’ll leave it all to you, then! Hope you’re not scared of ghosts~”
I flicked my hair past my shoulders.
“Please, Coppelia. Ghosts do not frighten me. There’s only one thing I fear. And that’s no longer being able to order a leaning tower of profiteroles taller than the door of the kitchens, then watch as the servants desperately attempt to navigate this mathematical conundrum while their tears gradually increase to the tapping of my waiting feet.”
“You’re right. I can’t think of a single thing more terrifying.”
I tugged Apple’s reins, not quite allowing him to finish the wilted weeds.
We had places to be. And that didn’t include loitering like ghostly maids. I had other places to haunt.
And until the miners decided to pick up their tools, I would never permit them their rest again.
Comments
Nothing amiss at all when the ghostly maid insists that everyone is happy.
Happy peasants ... we're doomed ....
phantom
"It was a great decision! People are earning a lot more from tourists than they did from the kingdom. Apparently, mining never really paid well. Now everyone’s quality of life has increased hugely. Look, everyone’s smiling!” This looks like a sign of rebellion to me Coppelia. you should trust in the expert's opinion on the matter more.
