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Chapter 142: Black Is The New Black
🕑 Added 2023-08-23 02:04:58 +0000 UTCJust as I was the jewel of my kingdom, my kingdom was the jewel of the world.
From our coasts to our forests, my homeland was as bountiful in riches as it was in pride, and few places encapsulated this spirit as our eastern mountains, home to as many miners as the bars had louts.
Likely because they were the same people.
Regardless, it was the centre of industry in my kingdom, where hammer and tong fought against pickaxes for the right to fill the sky with the sounds of endeavour.
Yet even so, I wondered if the bedlam was enough to overcome the greatest noise of all.
Apple’s steady trots.
Undaunted as much by the elevation as he was by the thinning air, he carried me up the mountain roads as easily as he stomped through soft fields. And so I kindly offered him another apple.
He ate it in two bites.
He would likely earn another before long.
The woodlands were sparser here, the thin pines squeezed between the sheer cliffs rising above me from one side while disappearing into the vastness of a sharp drop from my other.
I peeked over the edge, satisfied that any caterpillar I punted was unlikely to survive the fall.
And then I never peeked again.
High above me, the sun had long begun its descent.
Lost somewhere beyond the snow-capped mountains, only a sweeping, sanguine blush could be spied between the peaks, the magnificent vista welcoming my arrival.
And why not?
I was a princess. And wherever I went, fair weather went with me.
Indeed, it was little surprise that I was greeted by the painting of an evening sky which could very well be my own.
Well, almost my own.
A single cloud which wasn’t ominously black would have sufficed.
And the way the pines withered even the frost upon them had to go.
And the upturned cart by the side of the road was a blight, as was the trail of debris and broken wheels which fell from it.
In fact, there was quite a lot about this scene I would change.
But if I had to pick just one, it would be the fact that as I breathed in the clear air, I was again cruelly reminded why none of the reasons I was here involved admiring the scenic beauty of my kingdom.
“A tragedy,” I said with a mournful shake of my head. “Even the fragrance one can normally experience in these mountains has been tainted by the odour of unproductivity.”
Yes, it was terrible.
The delicate citrus notes untainted by the toil of peasants. The tingling crispness of fresh dew massaging the sinuses where they should be filled with the odour of burning arcana crystals.
This … This was not the aroma of ceaseless industry as my kingdom squeezed every fleck of ore from these mountains like taxes from the poor!
I did not smell hardship and sweat anywhere!
Indeed, the crisp, fragrant air was utterly devoid of toxic powder and dust!
I was horrified.
“Though we’ve yet to reach the town, the sound of pickaxes striking rock should be echoing like a chorus down these roads. That we can hear only the humming of songbirds is a calamity of untold proportions. We cannot arrive soon enough!”
Coppelia stopped, then suddenly placed her ear against the cliff beside us.
“I hear more than songbirds. I hear rumbling.”
“Rumbling?”
“Carrion crawlers, I think. You know, tunnel burrowers. Like giant worms. Real gross. They’re probably digging around while deciding when to attack.”
I tugged on Apple’s reins as I urged him to speed up his pace.
He did not.
“You need to inform me if you see any carrion crawlers ready to strike. If they appear, then we shall have to respond at once.”
Coppelia giggled as she bounded alongside us.
“Scared of worms, huh?”
“Certainly. I’m scared of Apple eating one.”
“You what now?”
I nodded.
Reaching Stermondt was my top priority. But ensuring Apple’s voracious appetite didn’t expand any further was my second.
“He already has an extraordinarily unrefined diet. I fear the worst should he garner a taste for any type of creature used in last season’s haute cuisine.”
I shuddered.
As a princess, everything which touched my lips became the height of popularity. And that extended to the feed of my noble steeds, as well. Should I ever offer bread to Apple, the starving peasants would riot the next day.
“... You guys eat carrion crawlers?”
“We used to,” I admitted. “And I intend to keep it that way. I refuse to be responsible for bringing back culinary disasters which died for a reason.”
“Is the reason eating carrion crawlers went out of fashion because they’re giant flesh eating worms?”
“Yes. Rubbery and bland despite the amount of seasoning they absorb. Unsalvageable.”
Coppelia’s smile took on a grim hue.
Frankly, to be judged by her and her own wild palette was more painful an experience than I could have predicted.
“Right! No giant worms for the horse. But what if something normal comes along? I could catch the horse a rabbit. Or a smaller horse. All the best unholy chargers eat flesh exclusively. Wouldn’t it be great if this horse became super evil?”
“I fail to see the purpose. It wouldn’t alter Apple’s speed or his loyalty, both of which are set in stone.”
“There’s other benefits to having an evil steed. You look awesome.”
“Again, no purpose.” I flicked my hair behind my shoulder. “I cannot be improved, no matter how impressive the steed I ride.”
“Not even if his mane was on fire?”
Apple snorted. The appropriate response.
“His mane is impossible to groom as it is. Emitting flames would only make it worse. Besides, now is hardly the time to disturb him.”
“I mean, I don’t think it’ll slow him any further.”
“A theory I won’t entertain. Apple might persistently manoeuvre at the speed of a garden slug freshly gorged on my chrysanthemums, but when trotting on an incline, even that speed is somewhat respectable.”
Indeed!
As the trees thinned and Stermondt drew ever nearer, I found I had only a dozen comments to make about Apple’s work rate. That was less than every servant in the Royal Villa. He was in his element. As was Coppelia.
I glanced at my loyal handmaiden.
She had a spring in her step.
Not a strange occurrence, of course. There was only joy to be had at escorting a princess. Yet even blessed with my presence, I worried over her stamina.
Too often, an energetic new hire would inexplicably collapse, the weight of expectation and the walnut cabinets I’d tasked them with carrying suddenly too heavy for a single pair of arms.
“The road will only become more tiresome. Wouldn’t you prefer to share a seat on Apple? Without a flaming mane, I’m certain he can carry both of us with ease.”
“And I can carry the horse~ don’t worry, I’m great!”
Coppelia responded to my sincerity with a flex of her arms.
I saw nothing there. And yet I didn’t doubt her claim.
“Hmm … well, should you ever feel the need to allow a horse to bear you instead of … the other way around, the offer still stands.”
“Thanks, but I’m good. Me and horses don’t mix. Plus this is nothing. I walked up mountains all the time back at the library.”
“Oh?”
“It’s at the top of a mountain valley. Completely desolate, no amenities and no fun … but also no peasants. You’d like it.”
I nodded. An ideal environment. Save for the falling pianos she failed to mention.
“A quaint image,” I said regardless. “I confess I know little of Ouzelia other than the highly concerning tidbits I’ve gleaned, but I didn’t expect its liibrarians to live a life reminiscent of secluded monks at a mountain monastery.”
“Oh, we’re not secluded. We get wandering travellers looking for spiritual guidance all the time. We even have a queueing system for the Blessed Waterfall.”
“... Why? Does it instil protection or fortune?”
“Nope. It’s completely cursed. Touch it and your skin becomes wrinkled and gross. Children love it. If you ever visit, name drop me and you can have two turns.”
She smiled earnestly. I only shuddered.
“Thank you, but I’ll pass on the opportunity to wrinkle my skin.”
“Sure?”
“Very. If I’m ever forced to visit your library, then it shall respectfully be for your books. Not to sightsee.”
“Well, you might as well if you’re there. Our best books aren’t even in the library. They’re buried in our number one tourist attraction. The enchanted forest behind it.”
“You possess an enchanted forest? My, how lovely.”
“Mmh~ It’s filled with trees, things pretending to be trees and things which eat trees.”
“... Coppelia, the more I hear about your library, the less it sounds like a place of learning and more a house of horrors.”
“I mean, they don’t need to be mutually exclusive.”
A point of heavy contention.
One which only required my raised eyebrow to form a resounding rebuttal. Or it normally would, if the clockwork doll I was aiming it towards was paying attention.
Instead, my loyal handmaiden’s gaze was aimed ahead of us. Both her smile and her eyes took on a curious hue, like an alchemist who discovered the least noteworthy thing of interest, yet still warranted a remark.
“And, you know,” she continued, “it’s good to have experience with enchanted forests which wallop people. It means you get used to seeing what gets left behind.”
I offered her a quizzical look, then peered ahead.
“Ah.”
It required the trees to fully part before I saw what Coppelia had seen.
Skeletons.
Within a clearing touched by the onset of a mist and the shadows of the receding trees, a gruesome sight unfit for the eyes of any princess awaited me.
Indeed, here were the props lacking from the dungeons of Aquina Castle.
Skeletal remains, their flesh picked clean as they lay gathered only for the swiftly scattering blood vultures to spit out. They took flight as we approached, their dark wings each as vast as a flock of crows.
Yet even shorn of flesh, the array the skeletons were in gave no doubt as to how they’d perished.
Violently.
Face down in the yellow grass or pressed against trees, their hands clutched against rib cages as though to stem a fatal wound.
All around them were the remains of their equipment.
Black spears and a hodgepodge of armour, some of which were held onto limbs that were far from any bodies.
I tugged Apple to a halt, then gazed upon the straps of dark iron and ragged leather crudely sewn together.
These were not soldiers. They were brigands.
At least a dozen, maybe more if all the bones were pieced together.
“I can smell the bone mould,” said Coppelia cheerfully. “Who do you think won?”
I wrinkled my nose.
“The blood vultures, by the looks of it. Although I doubt that’s how these former ruffians met their ends.”
“Mmh~ blood vultures like using their talons to swipe off the heads of their prey. Most of these guys still have theirs on.” She paused. “Most is subjective, of course.”
I leered away from a skeletal head.
It had a hole in the forehead. And the back, too.
“A battle, then. But between who? If it were soldiers, they would have buried the dead. Did brigands fight amongst themselves, then take leave without any semblance of honour?”
Coppelia shrugged.
“We can probably find out if you want to poke around. There’s a lot of stuff here to be grossed out by.”
I glanced over the figures, their final poses evidence of extreme turmoil.
Then, I tugged on Apple’s reins.
He continued his steady trot, ignoring the sight and smell of a battlefield just as he did anything which wasn’t a daisy to be nibbled.
“We can find answers in Stermondt. The town has governance of these lands and these are its roads. If the remains of brigands are being left to rot in defiance of clear public hygiene stipulations, then I would find the reason why.”
Indeed, patrols should have long come across such an obvious display of barbarity.
These were not the country lanes we used. But the same routes used by the local citizenry.
Citizens we had neither seen nor heard from.
A town where my first welcome was by a cadre of picked remains. Not quite the adherence to etiquette I expected.
Clearly, something was amiss. And I did not need my highly discerning senses to tell me these would not be the only marred bones I’d be seeing.
An omen. A mystery. A shadow amidst mountains.
And there was only one way to solve it.
By casting a light drawn from my own brilliance.
“Something rotten stirs in Stermondt,” I said, my brows creased as I sat as the sole picture of dignity amongst the carnage. “And I’ve little doubt it originates from this mysterious … hole into the abyss I’ve been warned so much about.”
“Mmh, mmh~”
I placed my hand upon my chest, my resolve steeled for the challenges ahead.
Indeed, I could be nothing else, knowing that what I would shortly see constituted only a fraction of what my people had suffered while they awaited my arrival.
“Darkness lies ahead, Coppelia. Yet for all their poor hygiene, my people are bold and fearless. No less so in our eastern regions. Even as we speak, I know that whatever evil has awoken beneath the soil is being kept at bay through great bravery and valour. Stermondt is a town known for more than its studious prospectors and high quality ore. It is famed for its resilience and boundless pride, matching the spirit of our kingdom’s founders.”
Coppelia nodded enthusiastically as she peered ahead, her turquoise eyes blinking beneath the dimming sun.
“By any chance, is it known for its bustling tourism scene, too?”
“Excuse me?”
“You know, people who just want to see the sights.”
I tilted my head in confusion.
“What? No. Stermondt is exclusively an industrial town. It has no tourism sector. All its economy is derived from mining. As it should be. Reitzlake’s promenade is more than enough to cater to the fanciful whims of tourists. Stermondt is an integral part of my kingdom’s infrastructure requirements. It is not a stop for travellers.”
“Oh.”
“Why do you ask?”
“No reason.”
I pursed my lips.
For a moment, we continued in silence broken only by Apple’s steady trots … all the way until we reached the first group of loitering commoners risking being trampled.
They moved aside, their manner relaxed but filled with excitement as they gathered behind a woman in an unfamiliar uniform.
A uniform eerily similar to the receptionists utilised by the Adventurer’s Guild.
And that, more than anything, sent feelings of despair running through me.
“Assembly Point H!” she cried, waving a little yellow flag emblazoned with the appropriate letter. “For tours to the Hole in the Abyss! Those with tickets, please gather now! Those without tickets can purchase them at the Stermondt Tourism Guild for the next available tour package! Reserve up to 2 months in advance for a special discount!”
My mouth widened in horror as groups of young families gathered by the wayside, smiles upon their faces and eagerness in their skips.
The hole in the abyss … the cause of all of Stermondt’s woes …
It was being offered as a discount tourism package?!
The proud centre of industry in my kingdom … what had it been reduced to?!
What absolute calamity was this?!
What was I witnessing?!
I turned to Coppelia as she covered her mouth with her hands, clearly hiding her own mortification.
“H-How … How has this happened?!”
Comments
Alexey Gladkich
Probably from the show "Orange is the new Black"
I'm not sure where the quote came from either. But I like it!
The Magician
I actually can't find this quote anymore and I'm not about to listen to a whole season again to find it.
Alexey Gladkich
He was in tierport. Chomping on stables as usual.
Pratish Sungum
Apple is still my favorite character, still not sure where he was during the pirate arc though?
The Magician
He has the power of Infinite Stamina Regeneration as long as he is not exceeding the locomotion of a leisurely trot. However, it would appear he gains additional passive bonuses if he maintains a steady walk.
The Magician
"Hey Donut, it looks like Pink isn't the new Black anymore. It turns out Black is the New Black, which makes Pink the old Black, which was White, and it's After Laaaabor Daaaay~!"
It is well known Apple is the protagonist and he is using Juliette as his town crier.
Rayyyn
After their fun times at the circus I've realized something. To resist Juliette's training, Apple must be a legendary beast! King of Horses! Ultimate apple conisour! Wooden stable dabbler!
Today is a double chapter feature, meaning that Thursday's chapter has come a day early. But don't worry if you were hoping for a bonus chapter. They will come next week with the release of the eBook!
