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Chapter 138: A Mammoth Task
🕑 Added 2023-08-16 00:55:45 +0000 UTCWitnessing Coppelia’s Clockwork Repository in effect never failed to confound me.
Though I admittedly knew little about the inner workings of spellcraft, it didn’t take an accomplished mage to know that a window to the abyss was a truly impressive feat of magic–if, indeed, magic is what this was.
A cold stretch of darkness blacker than the depths of any mines.
And it was currently being stuffed with plushies, hair accessories, balloons, bags of sweets and unredeemed tickets.
As Coppelia casually tossed her litany of inexpensive prizes into the black depths of her dimensional pocket, a number of children joined her by throwing their own prizes inside. She didn’t stop them.
Eventually, she threw in the final plushie. A giant fruit slime. It was immediately tossed back out. She stuffed it back in.
Clap.
A groan echoed as Coppelia snapped her palms together. The window of blackness visibly bloated before it closed, ready to violently regurgitate the next time it was called to action.
I made a mental note to stay far away when it did.
“Satisfied?” I asked, still none the wiser regarding her Clockwork Repository.
“If I say no, does that mean I can try my luck navigating the Maze Of Fortune too?”
“Coppelia.”
“I’m kidding, I’m kidding~” She pumped her arm into the air. “All right! Let’s go save your kingdom … again!”
A small part of me wondered whether she took to our noble quest with the same earnestness and single-minded dedication I did.
A greater part of me chose not to think about it.
“Very well. Then it’s time to conduct an on-site inspection. Make no mistake, if highly dangerous beasts have been led into my kingdom, then I shall see them led out–with a suitably unpayable fine without a crippling loan attached.”
Thus, I swept over to the largest of the pavilions.
The entrance was closed, its guardians a flimsy fence pinned with ‘NO ENTRY’ notices. I ignored them all, pausing only to glance over at the unused sign currently faced the wrong way.
MAIN EXHIBITION – NOW OPEN
Limited time only!
Come see a once in a lifetime opportunity to witness the dancing mammoths!
A world renowned spectacle to cherish in your memories!
Adults – 10sc
Children – 5sc
My hands covered my mouth.
10 silver crowns per adult! 5 silver crowns per child!
Why, that was daylight robbery! For the cost of looking upon some overly sized animal, we could all instead be disappointed by staying at another inn!
Little wonder that muddy faces and sniffling infants eyed me with suspicious expressions as I began batting away the heavy tarp covering the pavilion entrance. A mob of dissatisfied peasants. A dire sight in itself.
And yet what greeted me inside was even more horrific.
Brwwwwrouurrrrr.
A ghastly sound so thick I could feel it.
I had little idea what these creatures were communicating, of course. But if I had to surmise, it would be deciding between them when they would tire of playing the docile pet and rampage through my lands instead.
I looked up, up, and slightly more up.
And then I counted.
Four.
A family of four very large frost mammoths, each admiring each others’ long trunks, huge tusks and snowy fur. And they were being barricaded by a wooden fence.
I was appalled.
This wasn’t capable of defending against a single chihuahua, much less four fully grown giant frost mammoths! The moment these creatures remembered they weren’t herbivores, they’d start upsetting their stomachs on the ready buffet of peasant à la mud available!
And when they did, I preferred that they begin with the muddiest one here.
“Good morning, good morning! Welcome to the exhibition hall!”
Boasting a brown waistcoat and a bowler hat the colour of manure, a dwarven man with a thick, dark beard stretching down to his well buffed shoes hurried over from some unseen corner, doing so at a pace which belied his short stature.
A dwarf. A rarity in my kingdom. And one not covered in soil.
What drew me most, however, was the whip he wielded.
It was dimly glowing.
A curious instrument to have enchanted. But perhaps not for those who required any measure of control over creatures clearly far beyond the skills of any regular dwarf to handle.
He stopped before me, fixed his hat, then offered a smile of feigned apology for whatever words I was about to ignore.
“Welcome! I’m pleased to have you here. However, I’m afraid the main show isn’t ready for the public yet. I’ll have to ask you to wait outside.”
I studied the glowing whip, the lack of grime on his clothing, the shine of his smile and the lack of despair in his eyes.
He did precisely the same for me.
Not a common attendant, then. A lead jester. Excellent.
“And I shall have to ask you to explain yourself.”
“Hmm?”
I jabbed my finger at him. And then at the giant frost mammoths.
“Do you have permission to bring such highly dangerous creatures into the kingdom?”
The dwarf didn’t miss a beat.
Immediately, he straightened his posture and adjusted his smile.
“Absolutely not.”
I raised a brow.
Clearly not the first time he’d been questioned out of the blue. Yet as much of a rare event as it was to not be greeted by the stuttering of fools, I suddenly found I had no room for gratitude. All I had was utter disbelief.
“Excuse me? Did I hear that correctly? Are you claiming you knowingly transported highly dangerous and illicit creatures into this innocent kingdom devoid of giant mammoths?”
“Not at all. Which is why we didn’t. We at the Cirque du Sable follow all local laws and respect the rights and generosity of those who host us. The giant frost mammoths you see before you were picked up locally, as many of our showcase exhibitions often are.”
I glanced to the side once again.
“You picked these up?” I asked, appalled as I pointed at the nearest tusked behemoth. “Like common alley strays?”
The dwarf chuckled, his expression one of calm geniality.
“Common alley strays are shyer. These were practically on top of us when we woke up! I had a field day taming them before they ate half our stalls. Didn’t expect to find these specimens in Tirea. They’ve been busy. And so have I.”
He pointed at a cage by the back of the pavilion. My mouth fell open at once.
Indeed! It was a …
“Coppelia?”
“I think it’s a cross between a bunny and a manticore.”
“Oh, I see.”
I nodded, then carefully adjusted my expression as I turned to the dwarf.
“... What am I seeing?!” I said, appropriately flabbergasted. “Is that truly a rabbit and a manticore hybrid?! I didn’t even know they could … and in my kingdom?!”
The dwarf nodded, his appreciation for the bizarre far surpassing my own.
“Fun, huh?”
“Fun?! This is … This is …”
“Strange, aye. And to think we were just passing through. You know, getting away from the civil war in Weinstadt. Never crossed our minds we’d find so much to do here instead. The roads ahead are teeming with some of the most exciting critters I’ve seen this century!”
“Are you saying there’s more of these things?!”
“Lots more, actually. Got a few basilisks and a death goat around the back, too. I’m impressed. If I knew this kingdom had more exotic beasts than a menagerie managed by the Grand Duchess, I’d have insisted on us doing a show here on purpose. Right now, we’re supposed to be in Granholtz.”
I was utterly appalled.
My kingdom had its share of foul and hideous creatures which melted beneath the sun, yes … but I was used to the nobility!
For monsters almost as wretched to be parading around my roads was unthinkable!
“What is the meaning of this?! The cause?! Surely, there must be a reason! Monsters cannot just appear in the middle of a fair kingdom like this!”
“Actually, that very much is the case.”
“But how?!”
“This is a once in a generation mass migration event.”
I rubbed my ears, just to see if that would help me hear more clearly.
“You shall have to repeat that.”
“An extremely rare mass migration. One involving an unprecedented number of different species moving in tandem.”
“Giant frost mammoths and bizarre salamander manticore hybrids are migrating en mass … here?”
“Amazing, huh?”
“These creatures sound like they reside in opposing parts of the world!”
“Aye. You can think of it as an extreme seasonal anomaly. Like sunshine and lightning. Rare, but it happens. Everything’s coming to blows here.”
I looked at the dwarf in serial disbelief.
True, I knew very little about the migrational habits of highly dangerous monsters, and yes, I may have fled from a very corresponding lessons in zoology … but wasn’t this a bit far fetched?!
“How come I’ve never heard of such a thing before?!”
The dwarf shrugged.
“Well, between you and me, certain people would prefer to keep it between themselves. Less competition when they write their papers. You know how it is.”
I offered the dwarf the full scope of my highly exasperated expression.
And then, I did what any other princess would do.
Uuuuuuugggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I closed my eyes and let out a silent groan.
My grief was palpable. Barely two minutes in and I could already see how my next nights were going to be spent.
Nights I had no time to give!
Why, I had things to do! Important things! I hadn’t even eaten lunch yet! The strudels were becoming more flaky by the minute! I had neither the time nor the inclination to clear roads of monsters like … like some common adventurer!
… Even so, I clearly couldn’t let this be!
This was an untenable situation! The roads ahead were a critical junction between the Loerstadt Gate, Stermondt and the world beyond the kingdom! What if some foreign dignitary and his family came to visit and was petrified by a basilisk, stepped on by a mammoth, eaten by a death goat and then regurgitated as fertiliser?
Their impression of my homeland would be terrible!
“A mass migration event … you cannot be serious!”
“The proof’s right here, I’m afraid.”
“Then, just what is the local nobility doing about this? Baron …”
“Talbrent.”
“Yes, whoever. How has he responded? Has he assumed command? Dispatched house guards to patrol the roads? And why is he hosting a circus when monsters apparently roam just outside?”
The dwarf smiled, then proudly placed his hand upon his chest, the whiteness of his teeth even more prominent than the snowy fur of the giant mammoths beside him.
“That’s because we’re his house guards, so far as this task is concerned.”
“Excuse me?”
He puffed out his chest.
“Morin of Clan Bronzehide. Formerly a master of iron, now a master of the finest joys to be found on this side of the continent. And that now includes mammoths, death goats, desert wyrms and whatever else I’m tasked with taming. You would be … ?”
It happened in an instant.
The despair I felt vanished like an ebbing wave sucked back by a whirlpool.
Because by the time the next emotion flowed in, it was replaced by an altogether different one.
One highly familiar.
Because while I often forgot the names, faces and pleas of those not worth remembering, I never forgot emotions. Especially with how often I saw this one.
Why, it was my closest neighbour.
Treachery.
Comments
The Magician
I imagine that Juliette's emotional reaction to Treachery can best described as "predatorial glee" or more aptly "Inquisitional Glee." Though she is a Lazy Princess, her chosen function within the Kingdom of Tirea is almost to the letter that of "The Royal Inquisitor" and she leads an Inquisition of Two across the countryside uncovering treachery against the crown and Tax Fraud. So far she has led an Inquisition against: a magician spreading blight and wearing risque undergarments, tax evasion, piracy, conspiracy to smuggle goods, conspiracy between noble houses, conspiracy to commit treason and tax evasion, conspiracy to instigate a Fey Inquest of the Realm. She is a very busy inquisitor.
The Magician
Juliette's "Stages of Acceptance" emotional flowchart: Bewilderment, Discombulation, Bargaining, Rejection, Realization, Acceptance, Righteous Indignation, Royal Fervor, Imperial Malignity, Victorious Exultation, Egotistical Gloating
