N. Francis
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Chapter 143: Dung and Dunger
🕑 Added 2025-08-21 14:00:13 +0000 UTC“Eight months.”
“Get over it, I told you it would take some time.”
“You said a few months.”
“And eight is a few.”
“Took forever.”
“Oh, stop whining, we’re moving now, aren’t we? In fact, we’re way ahead of schedule; the last few planets took a few years each.”
“Hmm, fine.”
Rory smirked, knowing he had won the verbal exchange. After several months of standing around, absorbing vague images and flickering concepts, he had finally found the item they were seeking as each ring locked onto the same singular item.
It was a good thing they’d switched to finding it through magic, as it was buried a hundred feet deep in a garbage pile on the opposite side of the planet.
While crossing an entire planet sounded like a lot of travel, this wasn’t an Aelia-sized planet; hell, it wasn’t even an Earth-sized planet. Sprinting as fast as they could reliably hold without exerting themselves, it was only a little over an hour before they found their destination, just another mountain of rubbish.
“Alright, sifting for it manually would have taken a while,” Zoey grunted as she looked between one of countless towering piles.
“Yeah, it would,” Rory said before pointing at one of the many piles. Activating Earth Soul, Rory mentally shoved and shifted as something began to slowly squirm its way to the surface. It was more taxing than his regular usage of the skill, but that was because the garbage mountain wasn’t ‘recognized’ as pure earth-aligned material, a gunky mix if anything.
In the grand scheme of things, it was the difference between waiting thirty seconds and waiting two minutes as finally popping out of the giant hill of rubbish, a strange orb floated over.
“What’s that?” Zoey questioned. “Wasn’t it supposed to be a mark of royalty or whatever?”
“It is,” Rory caught orb, wiping it off with a cloth from his inventory. “It’s a sceptre head. You know, like what you’d see on top of some royal staff or whatever.”
“Oh…. Do we need the rest?”
“Yeah, but I don’t think we will have much problem with that.”
“Why is that?”
“Because I’m pretty sure we’ll get our answer soon enough.”
“Huh?”
Purposely playing coy, Rory made it a point to stay silent as Zoey frowned at him.
“You’re not mysterious, and you’re not enigmatic, you know that, right? It’s like bad cosplay.”
“You’re just jealous,” Rory said, sticking his tongue out at her before folding his arms one over another, back to playing all knowing.
“Uh huh… By the way, there is some shit on your hand from the orb.”
“Oh god damnit,” Rory groaned, inspecting his hand and finding the smudge she was referring to.
That’s what I get for playing it up. Can’t let me have anything nice, I swear.
“The reason we don’t have to worry about the sceptre is I’m pretty sure grabbing the orb has triggered the ‘guardian’ of the rest of the sceptre, and it’s on its way here as we speak.”
“And you know all that… how exactly?”
“Divination,” Rory said mysteriously. “Also, I accidentally spotted it as I was searching for the ‘mark of royalty,’ vague flickers of what looked like a big fuck off dung beetle. Didn’t take much else to put two and two together.”
“Oh. Can’t you like…. Set up a trap in advance, then?”
“I could.”
“But you’re not going to,” Zoey asked.
“Nope.”
“Fair,” Zoey said with a shrug. “Just thought I’d ask.”
Several minutes passed as they waited patiently until at last the air seemed to vibrate with power, something approaching rapidly.
“Oh, you can taste that,” Zoey said with a disgusted look on her face. “God damn, that is the grossest aura I’ve ever felt.”
“Level…. Seventy-seven, I’m guestimating,” Rory said, scrunching his eyes up as he got a feel for the intensity of the aura.
“Alpha Variant?” Zoey offered after a moment of gagging.
“Ehh, possibly. It’s got some depth to that aura, I’ll say that. If it’s not an Alpha Variant, it’s damn close.”
“I mean, considering the rest of the dung beetle monsters we’ve seen, wouldn’t it only make sense if it were an alpha version?”
“Huh…”
“You didn’t think of that, did you?”
“You know what they say about cognition, it makes you dumber faster,” Rory said with a grin and a wink at Zoey.
“I miss the days when I thought the fabled Architect wasn’t an idiot.”
Their banter was finally forced to come to a close as the guardian of the rest of the sceptre appeared, charging across the landscape, a dung beetle the size of an elephant.
“Oh, Alpha Scarabaeidae. Looks like I was right,” Zoey said as she examined the monster.
“Level seventy-seven as well.”
“Call it even?”
“Sounds good to me.”
Having agreed, Zoey suddenly launched herself forward, slamming into the Alpha monster as it neared. The two forces collided with such force that a shockwave radiated outward, blowing apart the oversized garbage heaps for a mile in any direction.
Now… what’s the best way to go about this?
Projection magic, Lightning, Fire, melee clashing, ranged bombardment —Rory was spoiled for options as he analyzed the opponent.
Thinking his options through, Rory briefly frowned as one option was no longer possible.
Man… I miss my spear.
Mourning the loss of his trusted weapon for a split second, Rory returned his focus to the battle at hand.
Well, the prior beetles didn’t play nice with fire.
The dung beetle monsters could spew a noxious gas that tended to explode violently. Unfortunately, they seemed all but immune to explosions caused by their own gas.
So, no fire.
A glance toward Zoey showed her being tossed into the air as large mandibles clamped down on her, attempting to chew through her.
Ehh, she’s fine.
Still thinking about it, Rory had an idea, a partial grin on his face.
Oh, that sounds fun. Let’s do that.
Holding his hands out, one began to glow a soft blue, the other a soft red, as the scent of ozone began to permeate, a static building up. The charge grew, and an explosion of light blasted outward as a loop of electricity continuously cycled between his hands.
Physics. Fun.
Containing the lightning wasn’t the hardest thing he’d ever done, but it did force Rory to dedicate at least one mental thread to it. As he did, a second mental thread spooled off, focusing on capturing an image. Satisfied that he wasn’t about to blunder, Roryh suddenly twisted his hands as if twining a rope.
Instantly, the cycling lightning twisted, as Rory cackled, now holding a glowing whip of pure lightning.
Hot damn, sometimes I impress myself.
“Heads up!” Rory called out as he cocked his arm back before whipping forward, the lightning whip instantly extending into a fork tongue that crossed the distance at the speed of light, the Alpha beetle screeching as it was struck by the power of a small lightning bolt.
Ow. Okay, not without drawbacks. Probably shouldn’t be shocked…. Heh, shocked. Didn’t even mean that one.
As he had whipped forward, some of the lightning had backfired through Rory, a static shock on steroids.
It was painful, but not excruciating, and more importantly, it was a chance to experiment. Accepting the pain as a simple cost of his test, Rory cracked the lightning whip again and again, the flexible bolt of lightning pounding into the Alpha beetle.
Weaker than dropping a full thunder dome or storm down on it, but I can direct it as I want.
It also had the benefit of not depleting the area of electrical charge, which took some time to replenish.
Still, it stings like a bitch.
Arm going numb, Rory finally released the whip, his fingertips blackened.
Might have gone overboard.
“Are you done playing?” Zoey yelled, glaring at him from underneath a pinning claw of the beetle.
“Mostly,”
“Good,” Zoey shouted. “Just hit it with a fucking Nathair or something.”
So demanding.
Sure, the Alpha Beetle was strong, level seventy-seven; it was almost on par with a basic tier-eight, but the critical difference was that there was a difference in qualitative power and even intelligence. Had either of them attempted to solo the monster, they would have been forced to flee, either lacking in damage or staying power.
Together? It was just a matter of letting it beat up Zoey long enough for Rory to hit it with several decisive blows.
I really don’t feel like dealing with phase two; the bastards love to sprout wings and buzz around.
“If I open it up, can you finish it in one hit?” Rory shouted, waiting for Zoey’s muffled response from beneath the monster.
“Probably? Going to have to invert, I don’t have any Counter built up.”
Ehhh, that works.
“Alright, going to try something new.”
“Again!?”
Ignoring Zoey, Rory busted out his staff, several magic circles appearing. For a bystander who didn’t know better, it seemed as if Rory was going through the normal steps for Dragon’s Fall, a giant golden circle appearing far overhead.
Oh, wait, I need a cool name!
Taking advantage of the magic building overhead, Rory racked his brain before settling on a sufficiently cool name.
“Illapa…. Narukami…. Chaac and Indra!” Rory began, the energy overhead crackling with each spoken name.
“Gods of Lightning, descend! Empyrean Fulmination!”
Spell activating, the magic circle far overhead inhaled, drawing in every ounce of electrical charge in the vicinity, plus whatever Rory could feed into it. Further intensified through the focus of several magical circles, what flashed down could barely qualify as a bolt of lightning, more like a bolt of lightning that had its heart broken and had decided to fill the void by hitting the gym hard.
Alright, that analogy went all over the place, I’ll admit.
Striking down, the single bolt was the size of ten or fifteen all wrapped together, a chaotic mix of electric blue, shocking yellow, and paralyzing purple hues within the pillar of lightning.
The entire world seemed to shake for several moments from the force of the strike, the Dragon’s Fall equivalent of his usual lightning magic.
“Zoey?” Rory called out, his voice sounding small in comparison to the wall of noise that had heralded Empyrean Fulmination.
“Going.”
Suddenly Zoey reappeared, moving so fast it was as if she had simply popped into existence, her entire body shimmering with a haze of energy.
Attributes successfully inverted.
The Alpha Beetle, struck by a massive bolt of lightning, was paralyzed as Zoey vanished, appearing over two miles away.
Oh, this will be fun.
Racing forward, another shockwave erupted as the living tank struck the oversized beetle with the force of a tank.
A tank moving at the speed of a fighter jet, that is.
Her fist struck the badly scorched beetle; its entire back was blown out, the sheer energy blowing it up like a bomb had been strapped just below it.
“Fuck,” Zoey growled as she appeared next to him, dropping to one knee as she swapped back to her normal attribute mode.
“What?”
“Fucked up my hand,” Zoey grumbled as she showed Rory her hand that she had used to deliver the punch of god.
“Zoey, that’s a bit more than a fucked up hand. It looks like ground beef fucked some roadkill and they had a mutant child with syphilis.”
“I’m not sure I appreciate that much of a description,” Zoey said as she stared at her mangled ‘hand,’ or what remained.
“Well, what did you expect?” Rory asked.
“You’re the one who asked if I could finish it off in one blow.”
“I didn’t expect you to use your first like a piece of dynamite.”
“Bah,” Zoey rolled her eyes at Rory. “It hurts, but I’ll be fine. I can sleep it off.”
“Zoey, your hand is gone,” Rory said, amazed by his companion.
“No, it’s not gone. There are a few bone fragments and lumps of meat. As long as it’s still there, I can recover from it.”
Rory opened his mouth, preparing to retort, before shaking his head.
It’s pointless. Not like I haven’t seen her heal from shit that would take me weeks in a matter of days or even hours.
Durability was a hell of an attribute, and what was more, outside of combat, it was as if it was supercharged, her natural regeneration spiking.
I probably won’t have that much durability until… Tier nine? Maybe?
“So… the sceptre?”
“Oh, right,” Rory said, reminded of the purpose of facing down the monster. “Pretty sure it ate it.”
“Meaning-”
“Meaning we’re going to have to sort through beetle guts, yes.”
--------------------
Thankfully for Zoey, the effort of finding the sceptre within the beetle took only a few minutes, a golden rod that was very obviously missing its adornment.
“Great, at the rate things were going, I was going to probably start growing a beetle claw from all the beetle juices in my bad hand.”
“Ew,” Rory said, not enjoying that imagery. “Well, now that we’ve got both….”
Taking both the orb and the sceptre, Rory put the two together, waiting for something to happen.
“So…. Uhh, isn’t this when something normally occurs?”
“Give me a moment to think,” Rory said, hushing Zoey.
“Maybe it needs a magic word.”
“That’s stupid,” Rory said, groaning at the suggestion.
“Hey, you never know!”
“No, I’m pretty sure that won’t work.”
“Yes, it will.”
“No, it won’t.”
“Yes, it will.”
“No, it won’t.”
“Bet on it then, bitch,” Zoey said, glaring at him. “Or you afraid I’m right?”
“Fine,” Rory said, confident. “If I win, you owe me…. Uhh, something. Hmm, you’re not good for much in hindsight.”
“Rude,” Zoey flipped him the bird before yanking the sceptre from him. “And when I win, you owe me a new set of armor.”
“What’s wrong with your armor?”
“Nothing,” Zoey said with a shrug. “But a girl needs her fashion.”
“Whatever, not like it matters because-”
“Abrah-kadabrah!”
Rory was about to laugh at Zoey’s naïve attempt at making use of the sceptre, only for his words to expire before they ever had a chance to be spoken.
From the heavens overheard, a familiar river-like plasmaway appeared, flowing and meandering through the air before reaching them.
Speechless, Rory looked between Zoey and the plasmaway.
“H-how?” Rory finally managed. “How did that work?”
“Dunno,” Zoey said, grinning widely. Flicking the sceptre and saying the magic words once more, the plasma river retreated back into the heavens.
“Heh, convenient,” Zoey said. “Well, let’s go collect Mr. Turtle; he can’t wait to leave this planet.”
Turning around and beginning to walk away, Rory could only stare at her back, a single question ping-ponging around in his mind.
Eon… why have you forsaken me?
