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BEHIND THE SCENES #21 - JULY 2022 WEEK 1
🕑 Added 2022-08-02 02:07:32 +0000 UTCheyo yall!!!! whatsup!!! apologizes for being a day late with these posts--i wanted to get em out yesterday, but i had been working on stuff for like 10 hours straight already by the time i was done, and i was really tired--so, im doin it today!! i hope its okay!!
anyways though, despite their lateness, i hope u guys enjoy em!! the content may be a bit mixed together, cause it all sort of ties into itself, but hopefully they still make sense as individual posts as well!! without further ado, lets start!!
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PART 1: THE MISSING LINK IN CHARACTERIZING PENNY
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so, the first thing i wanted to talk about from this week's updates was something i figured out about characterizing penny while writing them!! it's something i couldn't quite put my finger on for a while, but it makes up a very significant part of her character, so i'm really glad i finally realised what it was!!
i've talked about this before, but at some point during the story, i began running into an issue with writing penny, where i couldn't nail down all of her traits in my mind-- and subsequently, penny started to feel less authentic as a character, because she was drifting away from how i had originally imagined her to be. this really bothered me, but i was having a very hard time figuring out how to fix it!! to me, it felt like i was doing all the same things--but despite that, she just didn't feel the same as she used to!! ultimately, i broke that loop by just including some similar scenes from the opening of the story in newer updates, and trying to emulate that version of her--but i never really found out what had felt off before!!
this month though, i managed to actually figure out what i had been missing before!! and it really wasn't what i thought, so i'm glad i did!!
so--the trait i had been missing with how penny acted early on was actually her being, for lack of a better word, pitiful!! what i mean by that is, she's always ending up in embarrassing or unfortunate scenarios, and is embarrassed by who she is and how she reacts to things--and because of that, the way she acts and her life story in general is rather pitiable.
she's pretty much constantly nervous, and sees other people as above her--like they're in a whole different league from her, totally out of her reach. and because of that, she's absolutely desperate to please others, even if its at the expense of her self-worth and dignity--which is something i think i sort of lost as i wrote her more!!
for example, at the start, she was talking about how she wanted to get into romance, but she could barely even bring herself to go into eve's room, and when she ended up running away, she thought that she was an idiot and eve would hate her!! but if she didn't see herself as lesser than eve, or have such a negative opinion of herself, it would have just become another random silly thing, with no real bearing on her character or personality
i think the best way to describe what she had become actually came from a comment that really stuck with me--she went from feeling authenticly self-concious and nervous, and cute in a way that came from that naturally, to having "a purely flustered dog-like personality".
that comment was actually what i think made me look for this missing link--i had been so focused on making her cute and loveable up until then, that i completely forgot what had made her a relatable character to begin with!! so, now, i'm trying very hard to bring back that pitiful side of her--it's still a work in progress... breaking a writing habit is hard stuff!! but, i'm really pleased to finally understand where that problem came from now--it's helped me a ton with feeling confident in my writing!!
i think that's all i had to say about that, though--i hope it was helpful to you if you ever end up in a similar scenario in writing something!! just think--what fundamental traits did your character have to begin with that they don't have now...? it may take some time to figure out--but i think the result will be worth it!! >:3cc
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[pictured: booboo the fool]
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PART 2: THE HORNY/SWEET DICHOTOMY
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the next topic i wanted to talk about in this post, is the balance of writing horny/sexual versus sweet/heartfelt scenes, and how i try to handle it!! its sort of a broad topic, but since there were a lot of both kinds of scenes this month, and this week in particular, i felt like it was a good time to bring it up!!
so, when i'm writing a romance scene, i generally try to think of two things--one, is this cute/hot? and two, how does this move the characters forward in their development, both individually and with eachother? i think it's okay to have scenes that only focus on one of those things--but generally, at least for me, i find romantic moments to be most impactful when both things happen!! looking at something hot or cute can only be so meaningful when it's got no real substance to it... it's sort of like icing on a cake!! you can eat a few spoonfuls of it without anything else, but after that, it starts to get old pretty fast...
and likewise, a romance scene with ONLY character development and no actual romantic events feels sort of like a copout--like, is it even really a romance scene if the characters are just sitting there talking to eachother...? even if it's about something romantic/flirty, it still feels a bit lacking to me!! i wanna see some damn kisses yo!!!!!
likewise, in my limited experiences with real life romance, i've found much the same thing to be true--talking with someone and learning about them enhances your romantic feelings if you have them, but without any actual romance, it starts to feel kind of stale and almost like a friendship more than a relationship. and in addition, doing physically intimate stuff without any soft moments inbetween can be sort of exhausting in a different way--but richocheting between the two makes the whole thing feel much more heartfelt and genuine!!
this is something i'm trying really hard to represent in this part of the story--i've put a lot of time and thought into eve and penny's interactions here, and considered heavily how their conversations can both be engaging from a romance perspective AND make them feel more real and connected to eachother!! this is also important now that i'm trying to bring penny back to a more realistic state than she had been on the firework date--i'm trying really hard to clarify her character, while also still advancing her development, both in her relationship with eve, and on her own!!
the same goes for eve--how she sees herself, and how she sees penny, and the way those things interact, are very important--probably one of the most important things in the whole story in fact!! these two are at the heart of everything, ultimately, so i want their relationship to feel fully fleshed out and genuine!! they compliment eachother in ways that they both really need--so showing how that effects them is very important to me!!
to that end, making sure there's a good mix of horny stuff for everyone to enjoy, and ALSO a lot of advancement of their emotional relationship is a top priority right now!! i guess its up to you if i manage to succeed in that goal... but, that's what i'm going for!!
(and, hopefully it was also interesting/insightful to read about somewhat, hehe!! >:3cc)
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[eve thats not what i meant by sweet!!! stop licking her!!!! (hits her with a rolled up newspaper)]
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PART 3: KAM SHOWS UP AGAIN
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OKAY!!! that was a lot of stuff to read!!! let's talk about something a little shorter this time !!!
so, in S1.8.64, for a short time, there was a glimpse of a mystery character when eve thought about the warmth that penny brought her... this will become clear to everyone soon, but that character was actually the Kam that was mentioned a few updates ago!! (when eve was thinking about her life on the couch, i mean >w>)
we'll see more of this dude before the chapter is up, but for now, i'm just trying to sprinkle little bits of him in, to build some intrigue, lol--i hope hearing me explain it like that (aka: like a dork) doesn't ruin it--but, i thought it might be fun to hear a bit more about the process!!
Kam's a person that eve associates a lot with warmth and comfort... i find that 'beacon of light' to be an archetype that shows up in my memories quite often, especially those from childhood!! since my memories tend to filter down into general feelings over time, the people in them almost become symbols to me--all the feelings i had at the time become a singular unit, and i end up associating the people in them with however i felt most when i knew them!
for eve, that 'beacon of light' is kam--most of her happy memories from her childhood are associated with him. the way her worldview functions now is also a result of that time in her life--even down to her reason for streaming!! it all ties back to her childhood!!
i know i'm a pretty slow storyteller overall... but, when we do get to that stuff, i think it will have a good pay off!! i've put a lot of thought into it, heh... >w>
okay though, i don't wanna say too much more than that.... i feel like anything past this would be spoilers, and possibly take away some of the impact from the reveals coming down the line--so, for now, i'll leave you with some sketches from the updates from this week!! and, as always, thanks for reading!! >:3cc
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[patpatpaptaptaptaptt]
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[that hand was a NIGHTMARE to draw... closeup hands are the bane of my fuckign existance. well, that and drawing eyes..... my quest for perfect anime eyes is never over.]
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[kam sweetie darling you look like shit what the hell is happening on your shorts]
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[boob squish sfx]
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[human prairie dog spotted]
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