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BEHIND THE SCENES #20 - JUNE 2022 (all of it!!)
🕑 Added 2022-07-04 03:11:26 +0000 UTChey yall!!!!! its been a while since we did one of these, huh!!!! i'm really sorry for not posting that much in june--but we should be back to weekly behind the scenes posts this month, so get excited about that, hehe!! :D
june was,, a rough month for me,, woops,... i had some stuff going on in my personal life that made getting work done hard... BUT, im trying to get better, so i can post stuff more regularly, hehe!!! honestly, when i do feel good, that's all i ever wanna do!!! i love making this story!!
so... we have a lot to talk about today, what with there being a whole months worth of updates to go over... to that end, i'm gonna try to divide this post up a bit, with more defined sections for different topics, so that hopefully it's easier to follow!! let me know what you think about the format change in the comments!!
without further ado though, let's get into the post!! B)
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PART 1: EVE'S NEW HAIRSTYLE
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so, i'm sure you've seen in the updates from this month that eve's got her hair down now... that may seem like a fairly small detail to devote a whole section to, but it actually holds some pretty big significance!! plus, it's a detail of her design that changed from the pilot--and that gives me another excuse to show you guys stuff from that run of the story, which is always fun, hehe!!
so, let's talk about it!! >:3cc
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[eve's design in the pilot version of the story...]
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[and the same panel from the current version!]
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so, first, i think i should give some context...
when i first came up with gacha girl, it was really just a tiny idea that i was going to use for the 2019 short story contest, and then move on from to something else... i had only really come up with a few chapters of it, and needed to wrap it up pretty fast to be able to submit it to the short story contest on time!!
but as i started posting it, i was met with such an overwhelming positive response that it kinda blew me away!! up until then, i'd been working on a furry comic called 'what a glorious hell' (which you can still read on webtoons, though its unfinished), and not really getting anywhere with it... i think i'd posted around 50 chapters of it in six months, and still hardly broken even 200 subscribers!!! so, when gacha girl shot up to three times that number in hardly a week, i was overjoyed!!
in that moment, i realized i didn't really want to constrain it to the limits of the short story contest anymore--this was my first taste of success!! i didnt wanna just abandon it after five episodes!! and, for that matter, i honestly don't think i could have finished it on time even if i tried, ahaha... college was taking up most of my time back then, so i didnt really have the time i needed to work on it...
as for the idea itself though, at the time of the contest, i had been reading a story called 'her pet' by pito, and i really liked it!! it was the first long form romance webtoon i really read up to that point, and it inspired me a lot--so, hoping to make something similar, i used the 'reunited bullying victim x savior' premise from that, and gave the main characters similar hairstyles--though their outfits, personal backstories, etc, were all different.
my aim was to make something heavily inspired by that story, but as it went on it would become clear just how different it was, and grow into its own thing--i tried really hard not to make it just a copy of her pet, probably more than ever showed in the original story, cause i never got to the super different parts in the pilot--but i think, in the end, i didn't do enough, cause it ended up looking really similar despite my efforts, and left me feeling really terrible about the whole thing...
so because of all that, when i restarted gacha girl in 2020, i wanted to make sure to differentiate between the main characters of that story and mine a bit more! to help with that, i gave eve (and penny to a lesser degree) different hairstyles, hoping that it would set them apart from their inspirations more!! (among some other things added/changed)
to be honest, i don't think gacha girl bears much resemblance to her pet anymore, save the hair colors and the savior complex thing going on with penny and eve--and even that is approached in a very different way in gacha girl than it is in her pet. but looking back on it, eve's change in hairstyle was a pretty important event in that transition!! i think it marked the moment i realized just how badly i wanted to make my own unique thing, not just something super inspired by something i liked--and have other people see it as its own thing, too!!
so, now that it's been a year and a half, and gacha girl is very much its own thing, (those 'is this her pet...' comments haven't shown up since the first few episodes!!), i felt like giving eve's hair a break from the ponytail would finally be okay!! i really do like her with her hair down... i think it's very cute!!! even if it is a bit harder to draw, hehe... >w>'' having her regain her old style without feeling worried about her pet comparisons anymore though is something i'm really happy with--despite the similarities early on, this story really is its own special thing in my heart, and i'm really happy that other people feel the same way now too!!
so, yeah!! eve's hair ended up meaning a lot to me, somehow... it's kind of a weird thing to get so worked up over, i know, but please forgive me !!! these characters are almost like friends to me at this point, ahaha--so how they're portrayed to and received by readers is very important to me!!!
so, i hope you all can appreciate her new look extra much with this additional knowledge!! >:3cc!!
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[one of the many fine outline sketches of penny and eve from this month's updates... all women are queens, including unfinished poorly drawn circle women B)]
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PART 2: FEELINGS WHILE WRITING AND HOW TO RESOLVE THEM
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speaking of my feelings about the story/characters... i had a realization during this month's updates that i thought might be interesting and/or helpful to people interested in writing stories, and wanted to share that experience and what i got from it!!
so, oftentimes while writing, i get this feeling, that's kind of hard to describe--it's like, a gut feeling almost, some kind of sense that a thing i've written just doesn't feel right... usually though, i can't describe why, or understand what's wrong with the thing i wrote... and that sucks big cock AND balls!!!
it's something that totally halts my creative progress, and makes me feel like i can't do anything else until i fix the problem!! which is hard when you don't even know what's wrong to begin with!!
my solution to this so far has generally been to hem and haw (ramsies southern moment) over it for like three days, getting more and more bothered by it, until i just give up and post something i don't like... so, not a great answer to the problem!!!
and this happened again this month!! specifically, during the scene where penny apologize to eve and asks if how she feels is stupid... originally, that exchange was much shorter (which earlybird readers may have seen, sweats...), and i felt kind of off about it, like it just didn't read naturally somehow... i didn't really know why, though!!
at some point, though, i thought about a piece of advice i heard a while ago for drawing--"if you aren't happy with it, it's okay to just throw it out and start over."
up until then, this advice had been something i only used to deal with sketches that wouldn't come out right no matter how much i adjusted them--but since it seemed to work well for that, and get me out of ruts artwise, i thought maybe it was worth a try in writing stuff, too!! and, you know what?? it was! it was really helpful!!
starting over from scratch with that scene, i realised pretty fast that i had just made the whole thing way too Short, in hopes of not bogging things down with too much angst--but in the process, i made it feel unnatural and stunted, which was bothering me, and preventing me from making any progress on the rest of the story!! and no amount of adjusting the few speech bubbles i had was gonna fix it, cause it was just too short no matter what i wrote in them!!
so, i rewrote it all, and added the whole scene with penny asking eve for reassurance--and in the comments, there were tons of people who really really liked it!! so, i'm quite happy to report that it really IS a good idea to just toss something crappy out and start over sometimes--i felt like it would be a waste, but in the end, it was the only way to fix the problem i was having!!
so, if you're having any issues in your creative process in the future, be it art, writing, whatever--give it a try!! it might fix a problem you didn't even know you had!! >:3c
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[a little peek into my highly secretive and powerful creative process... i like to think of myself as a professional... B)]
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PART 3: INTENSE SCENES AND THE WHOLESOME/SERIOUS BALANCE
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on the topic of the angst in this month's updates, though... i wanted to talk about that exact thing!! uh... okay, that transition didn't really make sense, but. whatever im talking about writing serious scenes okay !!!
so, writing serious plot points in this story has always been a rather tight balance for me... in fact, it's probably one of the things i struggle most with! i don't know if it's just this story, or every romance story, but a sentiment i see expressed a lot in the comments is a fear of things becoming too serious whenever anything kinda intense goes down... and to be honest, as nervewracking as it can be to read those comments, (i dont wanna dissapoint you guys!!! i love yall, yknow!!) i totally feel it too!! i think the fluffy nature of this story is one of my favorite things about it, cause it means people can look to it for comfort!! which, i think the world needs way more of in gay romance stories!!
like, i feel like usually mainstream gay romance plots are just STEEPED IN ANGST, and almost always Because the relationship is gay in the first place... and honestly, i don't have any issue with an angsty relationship in a story!! i think they can be really interesting!! i just wish it was more common for it not to hinge on it being angsty BECAUSE its gay, yknow?? relationship drama can be super fun to read, but if it's just because the characters are gay, and not for any of the reasons that most relationships actually face turmoil, then it starts to feel kind of phoned in to me...
anyway, i kinda went on a rant there--what i'm trying to say is, fluffy stories are really good, and i want this story to be one of them, for the most part!! so, when i do need to put in something more serious, it's a very delicate balance to make sure it doesn't turn people away, or make them think the whole story is gonna become an angstfest. to curb that fear, i generally try to keep anything angsty contained to one or two episodes, and then put in some more sweet and happy stuff right after, so that it doesn't become burdensome to read the angst-- but, that short length can become a problem when there's a lot of ground to cover... especially since angst is often so central to a character's core development. and i really want the characters to feel fleshed out--so, development is definitely necessary for that!!
right now, i feel like gacha girl is in a very liminal place--somewhere between what i want it to be, and a more typical romance story. in the end, i intend for the story to veer in a ton of really interesting and fun directions, with romance always being a main part of the plot, but not the ONLY thing going on. my hope is to make it so that eventually, there CAN be more drama, but drama that comes from the circumstances the characters find themselves in, rather than typical romance tropes like convoluted misunderstandings, or weird petty infighting that could be solved by a quick conversation. that way, the romance can still be sweet and fluffy--but the story won't just be a boring retread of things the characters have done a million times before!!
i want to give the characters situations that will force them to face their most fundamental flaws and fears, both alone and together, and use those experiences and the things they learn from them to further the relationships they're in!! thats the kind of romance i love... what i find most interesting!!
things of that nature are on their way soon... we're finally seeing the sides of everyone that need to be changed if they want to have healthy relationships, and once we know everyone's flaws and struggles, i can start introducing situations that will force them to confront them!!
eve's fears of commitment and being known, and regrets about her past actions... chellsea's fear of abandonment and need to come to terms with her identity... ava's depression and fear of attachment... penny's self-confidence problems and fear of being a burden, as well as internalized self-hatred... all of these things are coming out now, and soon the call to action will come, making them all face these things head on!!
so, even if things do grow a bit more serious at times, i hope you'll all stick around to see things through to the end--i want this story to be something that will really stick with the people who read it, and i think i can do that without sacrificing the heartwarming and fluffy romance parts of the story to do so!! but ya gotta trust me, okay? >:3c!!
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[ava is teasing eve for being in completely the wrong artstyle, and also being in a random sketch on the wrong canvas. (she did not think about her own situation very much... she is very stupid <3)]
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PART 4: WEBTOON CENSORSHIP AND SLOPPY MAKEOUTS
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whew!!! that was a big one!!! lets talk about something less intense n shorter now!! namely, webtoon censors, and how i think they work!! (based on my experiences with em)
so, to preface this part--i will admit, as far as censorship on webtoons goes, the whole thing is still kind of very esoteric to me, and it seems like most other people as well... ive seen a lot of people seemingly unsure what's okay and what isn't... but i thought, despite that fact, i DO still have a lot of experience posting on webtoons, so it might be helpful/fun to talk a little bit about what i've found out in my own time on the site here!!
so, i'm sure you know that there's been some pretty spicy stuff happening in the main story as of late (looks at the title image for this post...)--and it might seem like i'm just asking to get flagged for sexual content!!! but, despite how intense some of the romance gets, i actually try very hard to not break any of the rules they establish in the ad revenue instructions!! im not a rule breaker, okay !! im preppy if anything!!
but how DOESNT this stuff get flagged you might ask??? well, the language is a little vague, but so far as i can tell, i think they mainly flag nudity, and straightforward/blatant depictions of sexual acts--which, i don't think includes kissing, weirdly enough!! i try to get a base to go off of from various webtoon originals, and those have a LOT of kissing, and often some very vague allusions to sex acts to accompany them--and that's like, front page material!!! so, i figure as long as i stay in that range, i should be okay!! (like, seriously, have you read let's play??? the fucking scene with the orchid flower??? oh my god lol)
so, penny and eve DO kiss a lot, and eve has a.... ahem..... Tendency... to put her fingers in penny's mouth a lot, but none of that is like... OBJECTIVELY sexual in nature, like there's no titties flopping all over the place while they happen--and if there are titties, they're covered up, and not being extensively fondled onscreen!!!! very important !!!! only my lovely patreon subscribers get to see that, lol........ secret illicit materials......
any time something more explicit/sexual DOES happen, it happens either offscreen, or as a vague descrption through text!! you can build a surprisingly large amount of sexual tension without actually showing very much at all!!! it can feel super intense without showing almost anything, u just gotta like... finesse peoples brains a little... and make sure none of the pictures u draw are showing some kind of sex happening!!! (sexually gratifying is how they describe it on the ad page!)
the only times ive ever gotten flagged actually are from mentioning company names, weirdly enough.... like i made a joke once about aol dialup noises, and that got flagged within thirty minutes of posting... so, if i dont get a flag notification about an update within a day, i feel pretty confident about it being okay!! that's probably the best way to know your boundaries--try something out, and if it is too much at any point, you'll know what not to do in the future!!
and above all else, i try to be as communicative with my customer service representative as possible, and resolve things in as timely a manner as i can!! at the end of the day, i really just want to maintain a good relationship with webtoons!!! no matter how much i enjoy drawing women kissing, i want to avoid breaking the rules as much as possible, cause i love webtoons SO much, and i really dont wanna get on bad terms with em!! (seriously im simping for webtoons. i fuckin love this website dude its so good.)
so, yeah!! that's my experiences with censorship on webtoons, and how i avoid breaking any rules, while still making stuff feel very romantic and hot!!! hope it helped, or at least gave some insight into the process behind it all!! >B]c
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[this was my favorite panel from junes updates, lol-- so, have the sketch for it!! >B3c]
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PART 5: THE CALL TO ACTION CONTEST
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speaking of webtoons The Website.... let's talk about the call to action contest!!!!
so, my plans for this contest have changed a few times since it was announced... i knew i always wanted to enter it, cause gacha girl was made for a contest to begin with, and because of that i felt like i just had to try again for the next contest, whether it be with gacha girl or some other story idea--but i wasnt sure what to make!!
at first, i was certain i should come up with something else than gacha girl, cause its not like it has that many fights in it, lol--and so i went through a few ideas, including a video game zombie apocalypse, and a story about a demon debt collector--and in the end i settled on the zombie idea, and had something i was pretty happy with!! but then i thought.... if i did win somehow... what would i do? would i have to stop making gacha girl to focus on that? i mean, the chances of winning are slim, but i'd be going into it with intent to win still, so... what was i trying to win, exactly...?
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[some of the concept art from the zombie comic... notice how the characters slowly start to look less like penny over time LMAO]
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so, then i thought maybe i would enter WITH gacha girl, and do a revamped version of the intro, with an extended fight scene between eve and penny's bullies to satisfy the criteria of the contest--but then i realised, that if i won WITH gacha girl, that would mean i have to stick to an originals schedule, and... (shivers...) Talk to people.... REGULARLY...... plus, i'd have to answer to an editor, and ..... JUST..... IT WAS TOO MUCH TO WORRY ABOUT HONESTLY and it was stressing me out!!! so, for now, i don't think i'm gonna enter--i'm pretty happy with where this story is going, and the growth it's showing is honestly still pretty nutty, ESPECIALLY on the patreon front, which is the most important thing to make it a full time job--so, for now, i'm gonna stick with gachy girl, and maybe by the next time a contest comes around, i'll have something that i wanna do!!
i might change my mind before the contest ends, but i kinda doubt it--i just don't know if i'm mature enough to really hold up to the kind of work that an original webtoon takes.... i cant even keep up with this half the time!!!! (im doing my best though!! ;w;)
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[another picture from the pilot run of the series... hey, wait a minute... whats that text at the bottom....!!!! wtf!!!!]
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PART 6: FINAL NOTES AND A THANK YOU
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whew!! okay, i think that's all i had to talk about... this ended up being less sections than i thought it would now that i look at it, so the sections feel kinda goofy... but, eh, i like em anyway, so i might keep doing it like this, ahaha--either way though, i'm glad to finally have all these thoughts down on paper, and here for yall to read!!
i just wanted to say once again that i'm really sorry for being so absent last month--i'm really just kind of struggling with my personal life right now, and it's been hard to even get out of bed some days, so getting work done is tough... i want to thank you, too though, for your patience and understanding. i really couldn't have asked for a better group of fans-- you guys really do make my life worth living! so... thank you!! <3<3<3
with all that said.... i think i'm all done with this post!! i hope you enjoyed it, and it gave you a little bit of insight into my thoughts and stuff!! and, all hope held, i'll see you again next week!!
rammy out!!!!! <3
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[my mood when i finally finished this fat fuck post
ty for reading!! <3]
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