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Invasion of the Diaper Elves, The Stutterer, Two
🕑 Added 2021-12-13 22:54:53 +0000 UTCShe felt a painful grip close around her wrist.
“That is it!” said Aunt Bethany. “We are leaving! We can stay at a hotel until you come to your senses!” She dragged her struggling niece toward the front door.
“Let go! You're hurting me!” complained Paige.
The one in the racing jacket sighed behind them. “I think we may have been a little too generous here, don't you think?”
“Definitely.” agreed the one with the cowgirl hat.
Paige and Aunt Bethany's feet stopped dead. Once again, the blue glow of two shimmering diapers blew out their thoughts like a candle. They came and rubbed their padded asses across Aunt Bethany's face. Paige simply watched, entranced and unable to intervene as they rubbed and chanted.
“Your tongue is will now be free as a goldfish.” said the one in the racing jacket.
“Graceful as a drunken ox.” continued the one with the cowgirl hat.
“Sweet as vinegar.” said the one in the racing jacket, chuckling as she spoke.
“Awkward, Clumsy, and Halting.” finished the one with the cowgirl hat.
The two beings withdrew and settled in the air near Paige. The eerie light faded, and Paige found that her mind could function again. Aunt Bethany turned around, rage and horror in her eyes.
“Th...th...th-at was t...was t....dammit!” Aunt Bethany waggled her tongue, as though trying the shake the kinks out.
“Don't curse, dear.” said the one with the cowgirl hat, in a horribly exaggerated British accent.
“It's vulgar.” mocked the one in the racing jacket in an even worse one.
“I can...can-t...sp...sss-p...” Aunt Bethany's face grew redder as she struggled to make her mouth obey her.
“Can't stop us?” asked the one in the racing jacket.
“We noticed.” said the one with the cowgirl hat.
“Aunty!” shouted Paige, her eyes wide with concern. “Are you okay?”
“You b...b-it...b-it...” Aunt Bethany tried to speak, but her new stutter would not allow it.
“Chill.” said the one with the cowgirl hat. Her diaper again produced its weird glow, and Aunt Bethany's face went slack.“You just have to sit down and go over your lines, that's all. If you work hard at it, you'll be good as new in a few weeks. Months, at worst. For someone with your work ethic and positive attitude, it should be a breeze! And don't worry about Paige. She'll be by to visit you before too long. Off you go now.”
Paige watched in awe as her entranced aunt nodded and walked past them, back into the kitchen. She silently sat down in the chair where Paige had so recently sat.
“A-mit...mid...Amid...t....” she began.
The two two visitors gently drew Paige out the front door. She glanced behind her with concern. “Will she really be okay?” she asked.
“Oh yeah.” said the one in the racing jacket, waving dismissively. “We hardly ever do anything permanent for our punishments, and that's only for the really bad cases. I think a little temporary case of the stutters will make her a lot less judgmental in the future, don't you?”
“So, are ready to get going?” asked the one with cowgirl hat.
“Where?” asked Paige.
“To get signed up. You said you wanted to.” said the one in the racing jacket.
“I mean...yes.” she said quietly, glancing around to see if anyone was watching. She was a little self-conscious to be seen in public with two diapered women, even if they were magical beings.
“Hmm...” said the one in the racing jacket, stroking her chin. “I'm not sure she really wants it.”
“Sounded a little unsure.” agreed the one with the cowgirl hat.
Paige knew she was being teased, but was powerless to fight the effects. “Yes I do!” she insisted.
“I think we need to hear something more along the lines of 'I wanna wear diapees.' Just to be certain.” said the one with the cowgirl hat, grinning evilly.
Paige let out an exasperated sigh. “I...wanna wear...diapees.” she reluctantly muttered.
“Did you hear something?” asked the one in the racing jacket mildly.
“Probly just the wind.” said the one with the cowgirl hat.
“You guys are assholes.” stated Paige irritably.
“Allright! Good enough. Launch!” said the one in the racing jacket.
With that, the two diapered women took Paige by each arm. Gravity forget they existed, and they shot up into the moonlit sky like bubbles shooting up a glass of soda. Paige was so surprised, she didn't even scream.
It took mere seconds for the entire town to shrink to a gray smudge underneath them. She knew that they must be flying at incredible speed, but she felt no wind, so it didn't really feel that way. She thought she should feel afraid, but she just didn't. The two gentle hands on her arms made her feel safe. She felt utterly weightless. The ground beneath her seemed so far away that it had nothing to do with her.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“The moon.” answered the one in the racing jacket, as though that should have been obvious. “It's not the most convenient way to get there, but it is your first time, so we'll take the scenic route.”
Paige stared in awe as they traveled. The moon grew larger and larger as the earth shrank behind them. She had never really thought about how big either of them were, but it was impossible not to notice as they passed between the two. One minute the Earth filled the whole sky behind them, and the moon looked to be about the size of a ping-pong ball. But soon the Earth was shrinking into the distance, and the Moon was swelling larger and larger ahead.
“Why isn't it cold out here?” she asked a few minutes later.
“No air.” said the one in the racing jacket.
“Then...how are we breathing? Or even hearing each other?” she asked.
“Magic.” said the one in the racing jacket.
Paige wondered if that had been a dumb question.
“I mean, I guess we could use magic to make you feel cold too, but what would be the point?” asked the one with the cowgirl hat.
The moon steadily grew until it filled the horizon in every direction. They alighted on its powdery surface. Grayish whiteness peppered with impact craters stretched away around them.
“Here we are. Home sweet home.” said the one in the racing jacket. She reached down, and grabbed an unseen object. She twisted it, and the surface of the moon flipped open, revealing a hidden doorway. Light and the sounds of distant conversation streamed upward from the hatch. The interior side of the door was bright green and marked 'Sea of Tranquility'.
“Welcome to your new home!” said the one with the cowgirl hat.
Paige peered cautiously down the doorway. It was like standing on the edge of a cliff. Below, a well-lit square shaft dropped hundreds of feet downward, then curved and disappeared around the bend. The walls were light blue, and were dotted with doors of various colors on every side. Then she realized that the shaft was in motion. It wagged slowly back and forth like a pendulum, then rippled like the body of a slithering snake.
The bizarre shaft was not empty. As she stared downward, doors opened and closed, and more of the strange diapered beings whose ranks she had just agreed to join floated up and down the shaft. They seemed completely unconcerned about the fact that their feet were not pointing the same direction. In fact, apart from their attire and their total indifference to gravity, they might have been ordinary people going about their daily business. She watched as a woman wearing a colorful headscarf and a matching diaper waved happily to another woman who was passing by dressed in inflatable water-wings, a snorkeling mask, and a swim diaper. The fact that they were standing at right angles to each other while the shaft changed shape randomly around them seemed to be no problem for anyone but Paige.
Paige had to look away. She was beginning to feel nauseous. “You guys live inside the Moon?”
Her two companions seemed taken aback by her question. “I mean, maybe?” said the one in the racing jacket, not sounding at all certain.
“We don't really know where it is in a physical sense.” said the one with the cowgirl hat, also uncertain. “It might even be nowhere at all. This is just one of the more impressive ways in.”
“What do you call this place then?” asked Paige.
“Home! Like I said.” said the one in the cowgirl hat.
“I...I don't know if I can go down there. How do you guys handle it?” she asked.
They both shrugged. “I didn't really notice that was anything to handle.” said the one in the racing jacket.
“You're just too used to working with gravity. It won't be too bad once you're inside. You'll see.” said the one with the cowgirl hat. The two of them seemed content to wait for Paige to make up her mind.
Paige looked back over the edge. It was still frightening, but it was also full of beautiful people who all seemed pleased to be there. Smiles, cheerful greetings, and the sound of distant music floated up from the doorway. She took a deep breath of the air that may or may not actually exist and reluctantly breathed: “...Okay.”
Her companions took her arms, hovered her over the glowing abyss, and turned the universe ninety degrees. Paige's stomach made the same adjustment after a significant delay.
The shaft became a hallway. The one in the racing jacket closed the door behind them. Paige realized that here, concepts like 'up' and 'down' simply didn't apply in any consistent way. There were doors on the floor and the ceiling, if those words still applied. The corridor writhed around them, and they floated forward through the heaving blue chaos. The scent of baby powder was ubiquitous, giving the place the atmosphere of a nursery, but occasionally other pleasant smells would waft through, like the scent of lavender or the smell of freshly-baked cookies.
They passed dozens of other floating women, most of whom waved and smiled as they passed. Some pointed and shouted “Hey! Newbie!” or “New Recruit! Good job!” Her two escorts gracefully accepted the compliments, and occasionally stopped to chat when a knot of their colleagues formed. It was strange to watch upside-down and sideways people chatting happily as if this was totally normal. Paige listened as they recounted tales of their latest escapades. The conversation was almost exclusively friendly and collegial. Usually they were trying to top one another with stories of large caches of black licorice discovered, or particularly creative punishments or rewards that they had doled out. Paige kept quiet through these discussions, but began to understand that she was joining an organization, and however bizarre and inexplicable they may be, the women here spoke among themselves much like co-workers in any shop or office in the world might.
It was clear that a new recruit was considered cause for celebration in these parts. Paige began to get the impression that she was being paraded around, and it made her a bit self-conscious. Many of the women commented on how cute she was, as though she were a child or a new puppy. She felt very out of place. She wasn't sure if she was underdressed or overdressed, but jeans and a tee shirt definitely made her stand out among all the diapers and strange costumes. She never would have believed it was possible to be self-conscious about not wearing a diaper but everything is relative.
More hallways branched off in every direction as they went. Her two companions made several more turns, but never seemed uncertain of the way. Paige struggled to take in the scenery. There were so many woman in seemingly random outfits, and so many doors with labels that only occasionally seemed to make sense. There were a lot of pastel pink doors, none of which seemed to be labeled at all. Usually a picture of a stuffed animal or a rainbow was the only marking. The green ones all seemed to be marked with the names of various cities. She noticed ones marked “Dhaka”, “Reykjavik”, “Osaka”, “Vancouver”, and “Bordeax”, but there were many more with unfamiliar names. She could only assume that these were exits from this strange place, like the one she had come in by. Red doors were also common. They had more straight-forward labels like “Maintenance”, “Monitoring”, and “Training”, but also odder ones like “Snakes”, “Valves”, “Intelligence”, and “Cheese”. The yellow doors were even harder to pin down. She noticed ones marked “Similarity”, “Impartiality”, “Clarity”, and “Vagueness”. She pointed this last one out to her companions.
“What's in there?” she asked.
“Oh, ya know. This and that.” said the one in the cowgirl hat carelessly. She was then distracted by a passing friend, who was wearing a chef's hat and carrying a large cake. Paige wasn't sure if her companion was joking or not, but decided not to press the issue.
They passed a red door marked “Coffee”. The one in the racing jacket let go of Paige's arm. “Oh, I think this is my stop.” said the one in the racing jacket. “I'll catch up with you guys later.”
“You're leaving? We just got here!” said Paige.
The one in the racing jack smiled and patted Paige's shoulder affectionately. “Aww, you're such cutie! Don't worry, we'll see each other when you're done with Training.”
Paige blushed.
“I'm the one who made the offer, so I'm the one who gets to induct you.” explained the one with the cowgirl hat. “It's traditional.”
“Well, who inducted you?” asked Paige.
The one with the cowgirl hat squinted uncertainly. Paige was beginning to wonder what living in a place like this did to your mind. “I think it was...no, that was definitely...crap. I don't remember.”
“How can you not remember?” asked Paige.
“It all kinda blends together after a while.” said the one in the racing jacket. “Can always head over to Clarity if it's ever really an issue. Oh well. Later!”
The one in the racing jacket opened the red door marked 'Coffee' and floated inside. The strong smell of fresh coffee filled the corridor, and some kind of energetic jazz was playing. Paige caught a glimpse of a crowd of diapered women holding steaming mugs around a long, wooden bar. Several women called out excitedly as the one in the racing jacket shut the door gently behind her.
“She seemed nice.” said Paige as they continued floating down the corridor. “Are you guys, like, partners or something?”
“For a while now! We change partners a lot, but she's one of my favorites. Once your training is done, we can all work together sometime, or maybe you'll meet someone else you like! Come on. Let's go pick out your outfit.”
After floating down several more corridors full of floating diapered women, they passed through a red door marked 'Wardrobe'. Inside was the largest room that Paige had ever seen. It was full of shelves that stretched upward, downward, and backward further than the eye could follow. The endless shelves were crammed with millions of outfits and accessories, all arranged seemingly without organization of any kind. It looked like the combined contents of every costume shop and theater storeroom on earth, all blended together randomly. Of course, there wasn't a pair of pants or underwear to be seen anywhere.
“Where are the...uh...”
“Diapers? That's the last step. Right now, we need to decide on your unique appearance, that will set you apart from everyone else here. We each have a unique outfit that expresses who we are.”
“What do you think I should wear?” asked Page, glancing nervously down the long aisles.
“You don't choose, silly. I do!” said the one with the cowgirl hat. “It's traditional! What, you think I walked in here and decided 'Oh, I guess I'll just be the Sheriff of Baby Town for the rest of time.'?”
There was a long pause. Paige regarded the one with the cowgirl hat quizzically.
“Well?”
“Yes.” she decided finally.
There was another long pause.
“Ya got me. Pick whatever you want.”
They left 'Wardrobe' some time later. Paige was now wearing a bright yellow top hat with a pink ribbon wrapped around the hatband. She also wore a matching coat with tails that dangled behind her and a pink bow tie.
“I feel a little silly.” said Paige.
“You're the one who chose it, and it's no sillier than mine. I think it's just silly enough!” said the one with the cowgirl hat.
“Do I really have to wear this forever, though?” asked Paige, looking more and more nervous.
“Don't worry! Once the induction is finished, you won't care. Trust me.”
Not for the first time, Paige hoped she wasn't making a massive mistake. As nice as everyone here was, they also seemed more than a little loopy.
The one with the cowgirl hat floated Paige down several more corridors. This part of whatever structure they were in seemed less populated than where they had come in; the diapered women became fewer and further between as they traveled. Finally, the pair arrived at a set of white double doors marked 'Changing Room'.
“This is the place.” said the one with the cowgirl hat, pushing open the door. “This where you become one of us.”
The Changing Room was so vast, Paige had trouble even thinking of it as a room. A short causeway connected the door to a wide platform that seemed to be formed from glistening white marble. Around the platform stretched a void of utter emptiness, like a starless night, but seen from above. Above the platform hovered the strangest sight yet: A huge hovering sphere of swirling, shifting images. As Paige stared in awe, she saw the images reveal thousands upon thousands of scenes to her. Landscapes of alien worlds, where ammonia freezes and falls to the ground in gentle drifts. Cities conceived of and built by beings that could not possibly be human. Forests of things that were not trees. A shopping mall where crowds massive preying mantises shopped and chatted together. Huge icebergs drifting lazily through vast seas of lava. The longer she stared, the more she saw, and the more she realized that the interior of the sphere was even more obscenely huge than the exterior. She was staring around the curve of an endless series of alien realms, in which every possibility was realized. The wonderful and the tragic, the awesome and the mundane, the simple and the intricate, the reasonable and the insane. It was all there, among the endless possibilities that existence could offer.
“What is this doing here?” asked Paige, as she was carried across the marble plain. “What am I looking at?”
“This is our window.” said the one with the cowgirl hat in a hushed voice. “It shows us the scope of existence. Not the whole thing obviously. If you try to look at everything all at the same time, you just get a sort of vague haze most of the time. It's a curated collection of images from around the multiverse. Places where snails were the dominant species on earth, or where the world was conquered by the Heinz Corporation, or the one where Hitler won World War Two but then got assassinated by a super-intelligent shade of chartreuse. The universe where any collection of objects in space will naturally form into the shape of a salmon. Places with different initial conditions, different laws of physics, even different rules of logic. We can see it all from here. Its a great way to while away an afternoon, but stare long enough, and you'll lose your mind.”
Paige only listened with half an ear. She was trying to take it all in, even though it was starting to become painful. There was simply too much.
The one with the cowgirl hat let her voice return to normal. “Of course, that will also happen if you stare at a blank wall long enough, too. Bottom line, all our new recruits get to see this, by way of an explanation. More precisely, its by way of a lack of explanation. 'This explanation intentionally left blank' sort of thing. You wonder how we can exist? The real question is: How can anything exist? Everything you see here is bizarre and inexplicable, because existence is itself bizarre and inexplicable.”
Paige was still staring at the vast corridors of reality, stretching backward as far as the eye could follow and far beyond. She felt a pair of fingers pinch her rear lightly. She turned to see a mischievous smile on her companion's face.
“So, do you still think you can join us?” asked the one with the cowgirl hat. “I'll totally get it if you decide to back out. I'll take you home to your aunt, no problem.”
Paige looked at the elfin woman's eyes. They were shockingly blue, but they were also full of hope and enthusiasm. She looked down at her diaper. She wondered how it must feel to fly through the air in one. There was still so much she wanted to know, so much she was uncertain of, about this place and the people in it. But the thought of turning her back on all this wonder and magic and returning to her old existence seemed ludicrous.
“Thank you, but I wanna do it. I want to be like you.”
The one with the cowgirl hat smiled and nodded. “Let's look over the contract then.”
Paige looked where she was pointing. On the platform was a small white desk, slanted forward slightly like a lectern. It wasn't hidden in any way, but compared to the dazzling sphere of endless wonders hovering above it, it was practically invisible. On the desk sat several sheets of aged vellum, covered in beautiful calligraphy. In a nearby silver inkwell sat a an old-fashioned pen with an enormous white plume. It made Paige immediately think of the waiver that Charlie had to sign before entering the Chocolate Factory.
“Do I have to sign in blood?” she asked, hoping that this was only a joke.
“Of course not! Still, don't be in too big of a hurry. Once you put your name down here, you never get it back.”
“What do you mean?” asked Paige, cocking an eyebrow.
“Just be sure to read through all the stipulations before signing.” said the one with the cowgirl hat. “See here? 'I hereby agree to forsake the use of my given name entirely and forever'.”
Paige looked. “Huh. I was starting to wonder why nobody introduces themselves around here.”
She turned over several of the pages, until she reached one that was filled with row upon row of signatures. “One of these is mine, but I have no idea which one.” said the one with the cowgirl hat. “Once you sign, it leaves your mind, along with the minds of everyone who has ever met you. Oh, you can still go home and see your family and friends, and they'll know who you are and all, but your name will simply be gone.”
Paige struggled to make sense of this. “Why?”
“Hell if I know.” said the one with the cowgirl hat solemnly. “Ours is not to wonder why. Ours is to wear diapers, look for black licorice, and screw with jerks. You in?”
Paige was no fool. She carefully read through every line of the contract. To be sure, much of it surprised her. There were rules and exceptions and subclauses that she couldn't begin to guess the reasons for. It also never became clear to her just what entity had laid down these rules, and given these women their fabulous powers and bizarre restrictions. Turning to the page that still had blank spaces, she put her name down on the paper in her neatest handwriting. The fresh ink was vibrant blue, just like the eyes of her new sisters.
The one with the cowgirl hat immediately clapped her hand down on her signature. “Hi there.” she said with a playful smirk. “What's your name?”
She thought. She considered. She pondered. She grabbed the one with the cowgirl hat by the wrist and tried to force her of the contract. Finally, her friend relented and showed her the paper. She looker at the list of names, perplexed. Try as she might. None of the names looked even vaguely familiar.
“This...is gonna take some getting used to.” she said with a deep breath.
“Don't worry about it. We'll all know who you are.” said the one with the cowgirl hat.
“How?” she asked.
“You're the one in the yellow top hat, silly! Now, let's get you out of those stupid big-girl pants!”
A chill shot up her spine at the words. She wasn't sure why the idea of being in diapers, not just wearing one, but being in them, excited her. It frightened her as well, but in a good way, like a roller-coaster ride. It made her face burn and her heart flutter.
The one with the cowgirl hat's hand caressed her butt, and her jeans and panties dissolved into nothingness. Her blushing intensified, and she crossed her arms in front of her crotch. Her companion's serene smile turned up toward the sphere of swirling images above them. Distracted from her feeble attempt at modesty, she looked up.
Something was coming. She was certain of that before it came into sight. From the endless parade of alien realms, something was fluttering toward them. She had no idea where it came from, but she knew what it was, and that it was for her.
As it approached, the pleasure began. Subtle at first, then growing more intense as it approached. Her knees grew weak as it fluttered out of the swirling vortex. By the time it dove through the air and landed in her companion's hand, the pleasure was overwhelming. The one with the yellow top hat collapsed onto the smooth marble floor, toes curling. By the time her bottom had settled into the fluffy embrace of her new diaper, a trail a drool had made its way down her chin. She was lost in a world of white-hot delight, too intense to process.
“Snap! Snap! There we go!” said the one with the cowgirl hat, sealing her snugly into her new diaper. She writhed in ecstasy on the floor as one orgasm after another shot through her. Her ears began to take on little points. Her eyes turned from hazel to the deepest, most vibrant blue. She giggled and stared into the distance, grinning uncontrollably.
The one with the cowgirl hat picked her off the floor and cradled her in her arms. She cooed lovingly at the one with the yellow top hat. “Awwww, you're so precious! Yes you are! Yes you are! Don't worry, sweety! Not that you can, anyway. In a few weeks, you'll be used to the diaper enough to start your training. Then we'll have a big party to celebrate, and I'll get to show you what we do down in 'Vagueries'! Now come on. Let's get you to the Nursery!”
The one with the yellow top hat giggled and hugged her new friend as they floated toward the door.
