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Author Romeru from patreon
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Chapter 83: The Sword Junkie Makes His Appearance

🕑 Added 2025-01-03 10:24:55 +0000 UTC

Comments

Rommel Sabido

So many things to fix lol. Thank you! You da best.

Manpapper

Thanks for the chapter

IdolTrust

He can or could use the monsters to forge a new weapon since the skill stops time. Heck he can make makeshift armor set.

teehee15

So I didn't find any of my normal grammar or typo mistakes on my read through, but I did find what I feel is still a mistake. This mistake isn't like normal and could be considered a choice by the author, so feel free to ignore it if you want. "“Huh?” She thought she was dead." You start your chapter with this statement. "Huh" implies confusion, and "She thought she was dead" focuses on a past tense state, which is that she was dead. Together, these mean confusion about her death. In other words, you start your chapter with her confused about thinking she's dead. The reason I bring this up is because you, immediately after stating this, go on for 9 paragraphs (being generous) of her completely convinced she's dead. Then the 10th paragraph, suddenly is seemingly back in time because the only reason she would have been confused as to why she wasn't dead in the first two lines of this chapter, is because Julian saved her. Instead, Julian doesn't save her until after the 10th paragraph. This just doesn't make any sense from a timeline perspective, and if you wanted to do the background on Kitty, you could've just as easily not had those first two lines and we would just assume you were telling events from Kitty's POV right before she gets saved. On an unrelated note, I also think your flashback of Kitty's past could be structured better, as far as which paragraphs should go in what order as it really feels like you're bouncing around a lot to get more world building put in it. As an example, you start the flashback with Kitty facing death countless times in Otherworld and in the next two paragraphs you talk about how that's affected her and how she doesn't fear death, and then in the third paragraph, you talk about how Otherworld was considered boring for a long time--?? How does facing death countless times and no longer fearing death from facing it so much translate into boring? I understand that you're referring to the slice of life aspects of Otherworld, or before Kitty's time, but either way, the flow of those paragraphs doesn't make much sense. My suggestion is to instead start the chapter with the fact that Otherworld streaming used to be boring, then transition into that changing (if it did) with Kitty taking fights (or however it changed) and progress that into how she took on tons of fights because of it. Progress that into her fearless status and how she made her armor IRL. Finally end it with how she'd faced worse in Artemia only to be faced with reality, she doesn't want to die for real. Either way, just my two cents. It felt off when reading it.

Sami

Aw yeah good stuff. If he does upgrade his rapier but doesnt want to lose the core of his fathers sword, why not just add an edge of that super metal

ReadingObsessed

Welcome back

Grant lee merrifield

Woot


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