ItsDirector
patreon
The Human From a Dungeon 106
🕑 Added 2025-06-02 13:16:01 +0000 UTCChapter 106
Nick Smith
Adventurer Level: 11
Human – American
We ended up eating our breakfast pretty quickly. To avoid delay, and Nash's bitching, I opted to order the same as my brothers instead of requesting customizations. We were served a bunch of fatty meats on what appeared to be some sort of charcuterie board, and I could almost feel my cholesterol rise as I ate.
Not long after finishing our unbalanced breakfast, we made our way to the entrance of the Grand Climeta Forest. To accomplish this, we had to go back up the main road and take the largest of the side roads to another massive gate. Like the entrance to the city, the gate was guarded. Unlike the entrance to the city, though, the gate was closed.
The chance for me to see the dramatic opening of the gigantic gate had me excited for a moment. Unfortunately, as we approached and I noticed more details, that excitement ebbed. The first detail I noticed was that the guards were a mix of mer and wylder. Actually, mix might not be the right word because they were wearing different uniforms and appeared to be stationed on opposite sides of the gate. The wylder were on our right, and the mer were on our left. The way they were positioned and avoiding interaction with each other felt tense.
The second detail I noticed was much more stressful, though. On our left was a bench surrounded by four pike-wielding orcish guards who looked extremely nervous. Sitting upon the bench was Larie, who gave us a slight nod.
"Fuckin' hells," Nash muttered.
Yulk held up his hands as we approached the guards in an attempt to soothe them. It didn't seem to work, though. Instead of calming down, one of the guards pointed his pike in our direction.
"Identify yourselves," the orcish guard ordered.
"We are the companions of Larie VysImiro. I am Yulk Alta, this is Nash Alta, and this is Nick Smith," Yulk explained.
The guard hesitated for a moment and glanced at the other three standing by the bench, but they remained expressionless.
"Since when does the famed Alta clan consort with liches?" the guard demanded.
"Since the Emperor of Calkuti and the High Chief of the United Chiefdoms do, I suppose. Well, we actually became friends with Larie a bit before their association with him, but that's neither here nor there."
"You dare to reply with sarcasm?" the guard shouted, raising his pike threateningly.
"You don't want to do that," Nash replied, calmly placing his hand on the handle of his axe.
"You don't get to tell me wha-"
"MARN! STAND DOWN!" someone shouted.
We turned to see a grumpy looking dwarf in guard armor jogging in our direction. The orc that had threatened us snapped to attention and lost a few shades of color, and the other guards visibly winced. The dwarf approached us, huffing and puffing angrily.
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOIN', MARN?!" he screamed.
"W-well, sir, I-"
"WHO THE FUCK TOLD YOU TO TALK, DIRTBAG?! I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR FUCKING EXCUSES, BECAUSE YOU SURE AS FUCK WEREN'T DOIN' AS YOU WERE FUCKIN' TOLD! REPEAT YOUR ORDERS, SHIT-FOR-BRAINS!"
"I-I was to guard the lich..." Marn trailed off and stared straight ahead.
"OH, SO YOU ONLY REMEMBER HALF OF YOUR ORDERS!" the dwarf shouted, almost foaming at the mouth. "I GUESS THAT MAKES SENSE, SINCE YOU'RE A FUCKIN' HALF-BRAINED CUNT!"
Marn remained silent and kept his gaze straight. My brothers and I shared a glance. Nash shrugged and took his hand off of his axe.
"I told your dumbass to make sure the lich behaves himself until his fuckin' party arrives," the dwarf growled, then gestured at us. "Am I mistaken in believing that's his party?"
"They have identified themselves as such, sir," a different guard chimed in.
The dwarf glared at the other, who continued to stare straight ahead.
"Marn may have fucked up, but you fucked up by not correcting him. All four of you dip-shits get to jog the wall. Go!"
Without any sort of argument the guards began to run along the wall. Once they were a decent distance away, the dwarf turned to us and nodded apologetically.
"Sorry about that, good help is hard to find these days," he said. "I'm Halvor, Sergeant of the Western Gate. And you?"
"I'm Yulk Alta. These are my brothers, Nash and Nick."
"Glad to make your acquaintance. So you three and the lich are headed through the gate to meet with the Summer Court?"
"Yes."
"Alright, speak to the wylder guards. They'll decide whether or not to let you through. Be careful in the forest."
"We will."
Halvor gave Larie a curt nod and walked away. We watched him go for a moment, then began walking toward the gate. The wylder guards, who had been watching the entire exchange in silence, held their hands out to stop us.
"Who goes there?" the fae on our left asked.
"We have been approved to meet with the Summer Court," Larie said. "I am Larie VysImiro. My companions go by Yulk Alta, Nash Alta, and Nick Smith."
"I recognize you, lich," the fae on our right said. "You are early for your appointment."
"Previous experience with the wylder has taught me that it is better to be early than it is to be late."
"That isn't true for every situation, but I take your point."
"You are expected and will be allowed passage. Be warned of two things. First, you may have to wait to see the Queens. The waiting area is designed for wylder and will not account for mortal amenities. This will not be an issue for the lich, but it might be for..." the left fae paused as it looked at me, then gathered its senses. "It might be for the rest of you."
"Thank you for this warning," Yulk said.
"This is a duty, not a gratuity, orc. The second warning is that we do not police our forest. You may encounter many things that will wish death upon you. Be prepared."
"We are," Larie said solemnly.
"Then you may proceed. May your appointment be productive and your journey uneventful."
The left fae raised its left hand and spread its fingers with its ring finger lowered. The right fae repeated the gesture with its right hand, and the gate began to open. I held my breath in anticipation.
The sheer size of the gate had led me to develop many expectations for what I would experience when it opened. I expected a rumbling to shake the ground beneath my feet and a sound loud enough to drown out everything else to storm my ears. Instead, I watched the impressive construction swing open, quickly and quietly.
"The fuck?" I whispered.
Yulk and Nash also looked unnerved, and both fae grinned at our surprised expressions. Beyond the gate was another cruel-looking portcullis, which began to raise without a sound. Once the way was clear, Nash let out a sigh.
"Magical fuckery," he said.
"Indeed it is," the right fae laughed. "Have a nice hike!"
We passed through the pair of grinning guards and left the city. The outside of the wall looked exactly like the wall we had encountered when we arrived the day prior, but instead of farmland and countryside there was a dense, stifling forest ahead of us. The trees seemed to make their own wall, as if to oppose or spite the one made of jadeite. There was a small clearing surrounding the wall, and I wondered how we were going to actually enter the forest.
"There is a trail to the north," Larie said, as if reading my mind. "We'll want to remain close to the trail and each other, even within clearings."
"Agreed," Nash said.
Yulk and I nodded, and we all began to hunt for the trail.
"Did your friend tell you about this trail?" Nash asked.
"Yes. Showed it to me, in fact," Larie replied.
"Showed it to you? You left the city last night?"
"No, my friend specializes in scrying."
"What's that?" I asked.
"The ability to use a medium to see things that are well outside of your perception."
"Who was the subject?" Yulk asked.
"No one," Larie replied as we found the trail. "My friend is an experienced scryer, and can 'freehand it', as they say, up to a certain distance."
"That's incredible! How foresightful of you to seek the aid of a scryer to help us get to the court!"
"Well... That was not actually my intention. I was only made aware of the ability to scry without a specific target once my main goal had been accomplished."
"And what was your main goal?" Nash asked suspiciously.
"I simply wanted to see how the kobolds were doing in my absence. Speaking of which, I'd like to stop by Talokam on our way back to Kirkena."
"That bad, huh?"
"No, perhaps the opposite, even. It is unclear. We are too far for the scry to pick up voices, but Li'lord Simeeth and several other kobolds and bakobolds were being entertained with food and drink in a tavern, surrounded by several mer. I would very much like to hear from their own mouths how this came to pass, and be certain that they aren't being taken advantage of."
"Taken advantage of? How?" I asked.
"Kobolds are intelligent, but their thought processes tend to be naive and whimsical. They are overconfident that they know how the world around them works, and tend to make decisions based on incomplete knowledge. It wouldn't take much persuasion, for instance, to convince them that it's better to rob caravans than it is to trade with them. And I did not have the foresight to directly order them to abstain from robbing anyone."
"Ah, I get it now. So what's a bakobold?"
"A bigger, meaner version of a kobold," Nash said.
"Bakobolds are, allegedly, the result of attempts by powerful mages to turn kobolds into infantry," Yulk added. "On average, they are as large as an orc and as intelligent as a normal kobold."
"That's correct, and it isn't alleged," Larie sighed. "I would add that they are incapable of breeding, and are born at random from normal kobold egg clutches. I was initially nervous about their inclusion to the dungeon, but the ones brought from the wastes seemed quite well-mannered."
"Don't kobolds breed quite rapidly?" Nash asked. "If so, there's probably more bakobolds than there used to be."
"Their clutches don't typically exceed five eggs. But they can mate as often as mer can, with an incubation period of six months. It also takes two years for them to reach adolescence, and a further two to reach adulthood. So, not quite as quickly as one initially imagines."
As Larie finished his sentence, we found the trail through the forest. Our urge to talk disappeared the moment we stepped onto the trail. It was wide enough for two carts to travel side by side with plenty of room, but the massive trees caused it to feel claustrophobic.
Despite our silence, it was not a quiet journey. The creaking of wood both living and long dead, birds screaming to one another about various observations, and the whistling of wind through dense branches created a nearly deafening cacophony. We suffered through it, and after an hour we entered our first clearing.
The trail was clearly stamped through the clearing, with no changes in size. This struck me as odd, and it took me a moment to figure out why. Normally, when hiking a trail through a forest, it will get bigger at clearings because of camps and rest stops.
The fact that the trail remained the same through the clearing indicated that the clearing was not a safe spot to rest. My dad taught me that usually big predators were the only ones willing to enter clearings, but the trees around the clearing were stiflingly close to one another. Something the size of a bear definitely wouldn't fit through them. So what had made this clearing unsafe?
Thankfully, we didn't find out. But as we continued our hike, more oddities became noticeable. Tall trees standing strong despite being strangled by vines practically dripping with poison. Thorn-bushes that seemed to reach for us as we passed. Birds and other small animals with crazed eyes glaring at us with unmistakable hostility.
The guard had said that the wylder don't police the forest. After traveling through it for a few hours, I couldn't help but wonder why. Was it because the hostility of the forest guarded them? Or, was it because doing so wasn't within their power?
We continued through another clearing that travelers had deemed unsafe. Rings of mushrooms were barely visible through the grass and moss growing on either side of the trail. I vaguely recalled that these were known as 'fairy rings' back home, and made a guess as to what caused these clearings to be deemed unsafe.
I barely managed to suppress a shudder that threatened to travel down my spine. When I created the bullet spell, I'd felt pretty good about how powerful I had become. I'd even gone so far as to brag to Nash about it. As I looked around, though, I realized how little that spell would do for me if the forest decided to wipe us out. Even if the people back home opted to conquer a forest like this, it would take everything they had and cost a lot of lives.
We pressed on, though, and finally came to a portion of the forest that was less oppressive. The trees grew apart the growths seemed less bloodthirsty. Without even realizing it, I let out a sigh of relief.
"We're not in the clear yet," Nash whispered. "This part of the forest is probably more dang-"
Nash's words of wisdom were rudely interrupted by a loud hiss and the sounds of things rapidly moving around us. Larie and Yulk readied themselves as Nash and I drew out weapons. Four huge reptilians with mean-looking claws jumped out at us from behind the trees.
"Llaberif Tsac!" Yulk shouted.
The fireball leapt from Yulk's hands and engulfed one of the giant lizards. The other three paused for a moment, and Nash used that moment to cleave another one's head from its shoulders with his axe. The remaining lizards spat at us, but we were able to avoid the disgusting projectiles.
"Reptians!" Nash called out.
Reptians. I remembered what a certain bartender had told me about them. Six inch claws, paralytic spit, hunting in groups. A glance at their hands and feet confirmed the size of their claws.
"Gninthgil Tsac," Larie said, hands outstretched.
A bolt of electricity leapt from the lich and smashed into a reptian. With a scream, it fell over and began to spasm with both white and black smoke streaming from its face. The last reptian looked at its three comrades and turned to me with a snarl.
Fighting it with my sword would have been a bad idea. It had weapons on the end of each limb, and the closer I got to it the easier it would be for it to strike me with its venom. Instead, I held out a finger and gathered my magic.
"Tellub Tsac," I whispered.
The bullet formed in front of my finger and launched itself before anyone could react. The reptian had been puffing itself up, but before it could spit or roar or whatever it was about to do, its head instantly transformed into a pink mist. I noted a small puff come from the tree behind the reptian, likely where the bullet landed, as the monster's body crumpled to the ground.
"Ow!" someone said. "That was quite uncalled for!"
"What?" I asked, looking around.
"Who said that?" Nash demanded.
"Wait, was it the-"
"I said that!"
The tree that the bullet struck began to shake, and we were suddenly looking at a face made of bark. A face that seemed to be quite upset with us. Naturally, we stared in disbelief.
"I realize that it's quite often a case of kill or be killed with you animal-types, but one would think that injuring another accidentally would warrant an apology!" the tree shouted.
"Oh, uh, r-right, I-I'm sorry," I stammered. "I really didn't mean to hit you with that spell. It won't happen again."
"See that it doesn't."
"You can talk?" Nash asked.
"Most of us can," a face formed on another tree. "It's quite distasteful to do so with an animal, though. Even in anger."
"Shut up!" the first tree demanded. "When one is injured, one should seek restitution!"
"Restitution?" I asked. "What kind of restitution?"
"Well... Truth be told an apology is probably good enough," the tree's branches shrugged. "But if you're feeling REALLY sorry, you can drag those bodies over to me. That would certainly help me repair this new hole I've developed."
I glanced at my comrades. Nash was looking confused, Yulk was looking bemused, and it was difficult to tell if Larie was surprised or not because he didn't have eyebrows. I returned my attention to the tree.
"O-okay," I said. "Nash, a little help?"
"You're the one who injured the tree," Nash shook his head. "I'll uh, I'll watch your back."
I glared at him angrily, but he didn't relent. With a sigh, I began to drag the reptian that I had killed to the base of the injured tree. A thin root pushed it way up from the ground and gently wrapped around the dead monster.
"Oh yeah, that's the stuff," the tree murmured with glee.
"I do believe that's good enough," the other tree said. "That corpse is more than sufficient to give you the nutrients needed to repair yourself. One shouldn't be greedy."
"Oh, fine. Your recompense is satisfactory. Be on your way, animals."
"W-wait," I said. "I had some que-"
"No."
The monster corpse was suddenly and violently dragged into the ground, which caused me to jump back. I looked at the trees, but their faces were gone. I nervously backed toward my party and returned to the trail.
"Well... That was interesting," Larie said. "Let's continue."
Comments
Ben Bass
TYFTC! Very interesting that the trees consider them 'animals'. I wonder if they could convince them otherwise.
David Ellis
The lightning spell really threw me off for a bit. Then I realized that the 'h' was being grouped in my head with the 't' as a different digraph than it is in the actual word. ( https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/digraph ). I wonder if digraphs should be treated as a single "letter" when reversed?
